Arshi FS: What I want ~ Part 4 Updated Pg.12 - Page 4

awesome update

ur interpretation of Garima track is interesting.U described it more than what d serial showed in brief.loved Arnav asking garima 2 explain her point of view.Unlike in d serial in ur story kHUShi is angry with Arnav n others n blasted at them.She wants 2 leave fed up of insult unlike the IPK Khushi who wanted 2 wait 4 Arnav.Will Arnav b able 2 stop khushi n marry her?waiting

Excellent. Superb . Loved it. Well written. Khushi has to be more tough with arnav. She has to make arnav realise her importance. Update soon

What I want ~ Part 3

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Arnav took Khushi's hand in his as soon as he got permission from Garima and started moving towards their room. Khushi looked at her hand encased in Arnav's. "Do you really want to forget your Arnavji?" a voice questioned her; the warmth spreading from his hand engulfing her in a cocoon that she had started to consider her safe haven. Then again, the same cocoon had the power to destroy her from within. The warmth rising up as flames threatening to engulf her in their heat; burning her, leaving her helpless with no way out in sight.

Not wanting to give into the whims and fancies of her heart again, Khushi tried to pry her hand away from his. His grip only tightened in answer. "It does look perfect doesn't it?"her heart sighed once again. Not wanting to entertain such thoughts, she tried to remove her hand from Arnav's grip again.

"Just give me 5 minutes of your time Khushi." Though his tone was as emotionless as ever, his eyes pleaded to her. She had never wanted him to plead anything to her. Not even now. She nodded, her heart ruling her once again. The days he had dragged her to this very same room through the same path they are taking now came to the forefront. Her heart could not stop itself from feeling the difference in his grip. Then it had been harsh with an intent to hurt. But now the grip was tight yet gentle. She scoffed at the absurdity of her thoughts.

She found herself in their room again; not their but his room, she corrected herself. She did not want to be here. This room suffocated her. All his taunts echoed around the room. Khushi fought with the memories. She did not want to remember them. She wanted to forget the past few months of her life even if that meant forgetting him.He had demeaned her enough. But leaving her alone in the mandap to listen to the taunts thrown her way; demeaning her mother without listening to her side of the story; blaming her for a fault she did not commit, had put the final nail in the coffin. The rage built inside her as the memories reopened the wounds making them bleed.

Arnav was in deep thoughts as he took her to their room. He took her inside the room his one hand closing the door with practiced ease, the other still holding on to Khushi's.

Khushi removed her hand forcefully from hiswith a strength she never knew she possessed in her, jerking him awake from his thoughts.

"Khushi..." The panic in his voice melted her heart. But she was determined to get out of this place.

"Let me go Arnavji." She said in a determined tone.

He looked at her, his face betraying nothing. Only the myriad of emotions flitting in his eyes showing her his inner turmoil; one he chose not to hide from her for the first time.

Silence spread between them like a chasm that one did not want to cross and the other was afraid of the consequences of crossing. Arnav looked at Khushi's eyes. Both staring at each other with an intensity so palpable that the air around them seemed heavier. But none of them wanted to back down. Unable to take it anymore, the hurt and regret in his melting her heart but determined to do things her way for once, Khushi broke the silence.

"If you love me as you say, let me go Arnavji."

"Go Khushi." Arnav replied in a tone that belied the brave front he was trying to put.

Khushi looked at him stunned. She did not expect this at least not so soon. She had expected him to argue, to fight and to coerce her into marrying him. Had she imagined the hurt and regret in his eyes when she had asked him to let go? She peered into his eyes. No. She had not imagined it. It was still there lurking in his eyes even when he tried to suppress it. How much more will this man take? She wondered for a minute. Then she remembered that now he hated her. But then why is there regret in his eyes? Hurt she can understand. For he thought she had betrayed him once again. Khushi looked at him her expressions asking for an explanation, showing disbelief that he is letting her go so easily. Did nothing they had gone through till now matter to him? Was it all just a mirage? She had to accept at least to herself that the ever romantic in her had wanted him to stop her. Beg her for forgiveness. But then it was ASR she was thinking about and he would do neither; for his Ma and his Di hold the entirety of his heart leaving her no space in it.

"Go Khushi... But..." he swallowed hard.

"Ah there comes the famous but... another condition to be fulfilled. Whose marriage am I to save now when I am unable to save mine?" her mind chided her; insulting her for accepting all his conditions in the past regardless of what she wished for herself. Did he think she would do so even now? Her sister is more than capable of taking care of herself. His sister is free from the clutches of the evil menace. What more does he want? Will he threaten her parents? He had done that before. Threatening to throw them out on the streets when he had wanted her to come back to him. The fear flitted through her eyes even when she wanted to hide it from him. "Be determined Khushi. Don't give in to his threats. He will try to manipulate you again. Don't fall for that. Don't let your heart rule where this man is considered." Khushi gave herself a pep talk in her mind. "You will only ruin yourself" when that thought occurred, Khushi shook herself mentally. Arnav Singh Raizada might do anything to her but he will not ruin her at least not anymore. Of that she was sure.

Arnav looked at the emotions flitting across her face. The surprise, the disappointment, the anger mostly self directed and finally determination. Only the disappointment that he saw in her face giving him the strength to go on. The hope in him flared. Maybe things had not gone that bad yet. Arnav turned away from her. The determination etched on her made him hesitate. He could not continue if he looked at her face. Strangely, be it the ASR or Arnavji or Chotte which ever form he was in, all three of his personas stood tongue tied in front of her. Only self directed anger had made him last this long. Else he would have been a stuttering teenage boy in front of his first crush. He couldn't let her go, his first crush; his first love and the last one too. True that he had given her nothing but pain. But she is the oasis in the barren desert of his life; his salvation from his darkest fears; the color of his life. How could he let her go? Would he not perish from unquenched thirst; drowning deeper into the pits of darkness; fade into nothingness like a unpreserved black and white picture over time? But he had to do this for her. For them. Determined that he would win her back this time not by hook or crook but by simply giving her what she wanted - love, care and affection.

"Go Khushi not because I don't love you or that I hate you. If either of that happens, I will perish. The past few hours has shown me how wrong I was to leave you again. I cannot imagine a day without you Khushi, let alone a lifetime. I do things in anger and I regret it later. I did not realize how much damage I have done Khushi. I have taken away many things from you. Many that I cannot even fathom to lose. I took away all that from you. And I have lost the only thing that I cherished in my life Khushi." Arnav paused. The emotions chocking him.

"Your trust Khushi. even after everything I have done, you trusted me enough to get married to me. Now that you have lost your trust in me, I am not going to force you into this relationship Khushi. I have forced you enough for several lifetimes already." His voice chocked at the end the guilt weighing him down. .

Khushi looked at him bewildered. "How did he know that I lost trust in him?" she thought to herself.

"You mumbled it in your sleep." Arnav answered her unspoken question. He continued.

"But I am not going away from you forever. I will earn your trust and your love again. You fear that once again I will choose Ma or Di over you if ever another misunderstanding arises, hain na Khushi?" he paused as if waiting for her confirmation though he did not need it. He had seen it in her eyes when he had accused her. The fear that she will never own a place in his heart when the truth was that she was the reason his heat still beats. It was he who still tries to relinquish his hold on his heart; the deep rooted fear of being betrayed not vanquished completely from his mind. It is not just her who can read his mind. He can do that too. When Khushi did not reply, he continued with a defeated sigh.

"I will prove it to you that you come before everyone... even Ma. I will rewrite every single hurt I gave you with joy. Will you please give me that chance Khushi? One last time? If by the end of it you still want to go, I will let you be Khushi. I will not force you ever."

Khushi looked at his back disbelief etched on her face. It was very few people and very few instances that made Khushi Kumari Gupta tongue tied. It seems this man standing in front of her will do that effortlessly; it never matter if he spoke or he did not.

Khushi did not know what to do. She wanted to run away as far as possible from him and she wanted to stay as close as possible. His hunched back, defeated posture and the underlying pain in his voice striking a cord in her. She had seen him like this only once. When he had told her how Ma died. But can she trust him now? After all this? She was not sure.

Not getting any reply, Arnav turned around to check if she was still in the room. Khushi gasped seeing his face. Arnav Singh Raizada was crying. The endless streaks of tears flowing down his cheeks. The hurt, pain and regret overflowing in his eyes. She did not find the arrogant man who had defamed her, endangered her life and insulted her very existence. Instead all she found was a young boy afraid to lose everything he held dear standing in front of her. She wanted to take him in her arms, hold him close to herself and sooth him. She knew he was not faking it. Emotions were never a stronghold of Arnav Singh Raizada. He curbed them even before those emotions rose in him except for his anger. But when he let them out, it always overwhelmed him.

Khushi took a step towards him unable to see his tortured face. He moved away from her.

"No Khushi. Don't let your heart rule. If you accept me now, it will be because you pity me. Not because you trust me or because you have realized my love. Give me a chance to show you how much I love you Khushi. Give me a chance to be your Arnavji."

Khushi gave him a tentative smile. She could not believe that Arnav would talk so much. But he had always been a mystery. She would think she had understood him and then he would show a completely different facet of his character.

"Wipe your tears off Khushi. After this I never want to see these tears on your face. I want to be the reason for your smiles. Not your tears. I want to be your Arnavji. I want to fulfill all your wishes. Will you give one last chance Khushi? To change myself from a raakshas to your Rajkumar? Should you choose to say no, I won't force you Khushi I will let you live in peace. I will never enter again in your life."

Khushi nodded her head in the negative. Words failing her once again. Did that mean she did not want him anymore? Arnav stood there unable to do anything. He has given his word to her. He has to let her go now.

"I will wait Arnavji." Had he not been not so synchronized with her, he would have missed that low whisper. His face brightened as if he was promised another thousand years of life without any illness.

"Thank you Khushi. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. You can go where ever you want. But Arnav Singh Raizada will follow you. I will make you believe in my love for you. Arnav Singh Raizada has not honored his promises to you before. But this is your Arnavji's promise to you." The jubilation in his voice, making her heart soar.

With that, Arnav Singh Raizada let go of his life and his love promising himself that he will win her back as soon as he can; not just because his existence depended on her but because he knew his Khushi wanted him as much as he needed her. She did not need him for her existence like he did but she wanted him nonetheless.

Next>>

P.S:

Please do read the A/N in the below post.

very interesting update, waiting for the next one.

wow superb update loved it can't wait for next part.

Very nice update, I must say & I am equally eager to see, what you have in mind, for Arnav to win his wife back.

Superb update...