What I Want
Khushi had been waiting in the mandap for Arnav to come. He had promised her that he wouldn't make her wait but he had done it again. Broken the promise he made to her. And when he had finally come, he had accused her mother without listening to her side of the story. After so many pleadings from both their families, he had decided to get married to her today and wasn't that an insult to her and her love? Was there pain in her heart? Yes it was there. But more than that, there was fear that if and when another misunderstanding crops up, he will not even take the time to blink his eye before deeming her as the reason for it. Was she ready to start a life with these weak foundations? She was not sure if she wanted it. And one by one all her memories assaulted her. It seemed she had just lived her life to please others. Now when there were whispers around her questioning her integrity when Arnav had left her by herself at the altar, she understood, she can never please everyone. In a moment, her decision was made. She wanted to live her life for herself. And for that she needed to get out of here. With that thought, she started walking out of the mandap with her head held high lending a deaf ear to the pleadings of her family. Only one thing caught her attention.
"Khushiji, everything will soon be alright. Please give Chotte sometime to come to terms with everything. Please get married today to Chotte."
"No Anjaliji. It cannot happen. Once a glass is broken it cannot be mended."
"Khushiji please don't say so. I accept that it is Chotte's fault. But don't leave us like this. We all need you."
"Even now it is about what you all need isn't it?"
Anjali was taken aback by the hopelessness that she heard in Khushi's voice. Khushi who seemed like a lifeless doll till now started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Why is it always what you all what? Am I not a human being? Don't I have needs? From the first it was always what others wanted. First you forced me to come to your house to bear all the insults just to change Lavanyaji to be a better bahu. Then you forced me to come to your house just so that you can play games with your brother to make him accept his feelings. Feelings which were never there. Then your Chotte forced me to marry him without telling me the reason. He treated me like an unwanted burden just to save your marriage."
"Khushiji..."
"Khushi bitiya"
"Patti saadi..."
Everyone was shocked to hear what this innocent girl had gone through. Her voice and face conveying the pain she couldn't convey through words.
"Khushi..." Payal came to hug her. Khushi raised her hand and Payal stopped in her tracks.
"Jiji what did you do? When the truth came out and jijaji stopped talking to you, you blamed me for it. Do you even know why I married him in the first place? It was to save your wedding. To let you be happy with your love. You were the reason I kept my mouth shut. Do you how it is to avoid the advances of that creep and be punished for a lie that I joined forces with the creep to spoil Anjaliji's marriage. I took in all that silently for you."
Arnav who was standing behind a pillar listening to all this could take no more. His heart shred itself to pieces listening to the agony in her voice. He rushed to her and took her into his embrace.
Khushi struggled to get out of his embrace. She pushed him with all her might and once out of his hold, she shouted at him.
"And you Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada, are you happy today? Tell me. Are you happy? Now I have no one with me. I have become an orphan again. Does my pain give you happiness? You wanted me to marry you to save your sister's marriage. Has marrying me, insulting me and hurting me saved your sister's marriage? Is the pain I am going through, enough to calm your anger? Is it enough?"
She cried holding his collar.
"Khushi..." Arnav tried to get through to her. But she seemed to be in a trance.
"Why Arnavji? Was it so difficult to see that I was also suffering? You hated me you wanted me out of your life. And when I thought all was well finally, you tell me that I am the biggest mistake of your life. You wished you never met me. When I did what you wanted, you forced me to come back to you saying that you can't be without me. Did you ever ask what I wanted? No... never... For you it is always what you wanted what you needed. ASR always gets what he wants. And I came back not because you threatened my jiji's marriage but because I loved you. Do you get it? I loved you and only you. Hear it Mr. Raizada. Loving u was the biggest mistake of my life. Trusting you was the biggest mistake of my life. Do you get it?"
"Khushi..." Arnav held her shoulders and tried to break her from her trance. The words he uttered without thinking hurting him like shards of glass.
Unable to bear the intensity of the emotions going through her Khushi fainted in his arms uttering a feeble Arnavji. Arnav's heart squeezed with pain he never imagined he would feel. He took her to his room warning everyone with their eyes to stay away. He laid her down on the bed and caressed her hair. He knew she needed this sleep.
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