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chalo ek baar phir se, ajnabii ban jaaye.n ham dono.
Come, let us become strangers once again.
na mai.n tumse koii ummiid rakhuu.n dilnavaazii kii
I shall no longer maintain hopes of compassion from you
na tum merii taraf dekho ghalat andaaz nazaro.n se
Nor shall you gaze at me with your deceptive glances.
na mere dil ki dhaDkan laDkhaDaaye merii baato.n me.n
My heart shall no longer tremble when I speak,
na zaahir ho tumhaari kashm-kash ka raaz nazaro.n se
Nor shall your glances reveal the secret of your torment.
tumhe.n bhii koii uljhan roktii hai pesh-qadmii se
Complications prevent you from advancing further,
mujhe bhii log kahte hai.n ki yeh jalve paraaye hai.n
I too am told that I wear disguises.
mere hamraah bhi rusvaayiaa.n hai.n mere maazii kii
The disgraces of my past are now my companions,
tumhaare saath bhii guzrii huii raato.n ke saaye hai.n
while the shadows of bygone nights are with you too.
Arnav Singh Raizada might have not realized the consequences of not keeping his promises to Khushi Kumari Gupta but Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada's Arnav ji did know the consequences. And he was determined to keep his promises to his wife. After all he had learned it the hard way. Thus the mission "Wooing Khushi" has started. Khushi had to give him credit for being so determined and not letting his impatience show. Had it been only three months since her fated second wedding? It seemed to have happened in another lifetime.
Arnav had done everything that he could to be with her; the first thing being moving into the Gupta household. He wanted to be with Khushi as much as he can. Arnav had arranged some Ayurvedic treatment for Shashi and Garima had accompanied him to Kerala anonymously. When Arnav came to their doorsteps, Buaji vehemently refused to let him in.
"Arnav babua. Forgive me. I know I am being rude to you. But you cannot stay here. Khushi has suffered enough already. Don't make her suffer more."
All of Arnav's pleadings were for naught as Buaji was hell bent on sending him away.
He knew it was only Khushi who could gain him access to the house.
"Ok Buaji. Is Khushi in? I will speak to her once and leave."
Buaji looked at him with suspicion.
"Why do you want to talk to her? Don't think she is alone and you can force her to accept anything." Buaji's voice increased in volume as she warned Arnav. Before Buaji could start with her list of threats, Khushi came out.
"Buaji what happened? Why are you shouting?"
"Khushi..."
Khushi stood rooted in her place when she heard Arnav's voice. "I am going mad for sure. Why the hell am I imagining Arnavji's voice now? Khushi Buaji is right you are really a sankadevi. It has been a month Khushi and he did not come to meet you even once in all these days. Yes he called you daily. But didn't he say that he was going to follow you wherever you went? After a month why is he going to come after you? Khushi stop daydreaming and look at what Buaji wants."
Arnav looked at her his eyes wide. Buaji looked at him her eyes chiding him "look at what you have done to her."
"Khushi I am here for real. You are not imagining."
Buaji moved away so Khushi could look at Arnav. Nearly an hour and a harshly pinched, bruised forearm later, Khushi asked the most pertinent question.
"I accept you are for real Arnav ji. But why are you here? That too with the bags?"
"I am going to stay here Khushi."
"Kya?" Khushi exclaimed.
Arnav sat there wishing Buaji to vanish. If it was just the two of them, he could cajole Khushi into letting him stay. But with Buaji breathing down his neck, he could hardly speak a word.
"Arnav ji you cannot stay here. There is not enough space here."
"I can stay in your room Khushi."
"No..." Khushi shouted.
"We have stayed together there before Khushi. I can stay there now."
"We... We are not married anymore Arnav ji..." she whispered, "And there is enough talk around. I don't want to add to it."
"What talk Khushi?" Arnav asked perplexed.
As if coming out of her musings, Khushi looked at him.
"Leave all that Arnav ji. You can't stay in my room and there is no other place here." Khushi said. A part of her rejoiced that Arnav had come for her and her heart beat frantically thinking of his promises to her. A part her that had hurt with his words and actions first and betrayal later, a part that was proved a fool twice, wanted to reject any of his advances.
"Buaji, I need to talk to my wife. Please Buaji." Buaji searched his eyes for a long minute and left them alone. Arnav had no idea what she saw in his eyes but he was sure that for now, he has his wife alone with him.
"I know Khushi according to all the rituals that you believe in, I am not your husband in front of the world. But we both know that I am your husband and you are my wife. There is nothing that can change that."
Arnav paused to let it sink in her. They had been through this talk so many times in the past month. He took Khushi's hands in his rubbing the back of her palm and the inside of her wrists in soothing circles. Khushi leaned into the touch. She needed him still even when she is stubbornly refusing to let him in. The thought made Arnav's heart dance in joy.
"Khushi I know I have not kept my promises all these days. I know I am a very bad husband. But this one last chance is all that I ask you for. This isn't the challenge we usually play Khushi. This is for real. I am here for real. I want to be with you Khushi. Trusting me is not easy Khushi. Hell I don't trust people easily. Just give me a chance to earn your trust Khushi. I won't disappoint you. For what it is worth, I love you Khushi with everything in me."
Khushi nodded tentatively, her mind and heart at war. The heart that was in love with Arnav wanted to trust him; her mind struggling to convince her to save her from sure heartbreak if the past was anything to go by.
With that Khushi let Arnav Singh Raizada in to her home and maybe a window in her heart had opened for her Arnav ji.
Arnav observed Khushi for the next two days. Her life now seemed to be mechanical. Like she had to do those things that she does and not because she enjoyed doing them. A far cry from the Khushi he had met first. His memory mocked him. Isn't this was he wanted? To break her?
He left early in the morning on the third day before Khushi woke up. She was sleeping better for the past 3 days. That much he had gathered from Buaji. She has been uncharacteristically tight lipped cutting off any chances for Arnav to know Khushi better. Arnav found himself missing that warmth he felt in Buaji's presence. He accepted to himself that he did enjoy it when Buaji and Amma gave preference to him always. And with that came the realization that he had not been giving his all in wooing Khushi in the past month.
Khushi woke up to the uproarious laughter of children. There were several oohs and aahs that dragged her to her window. There in the middle of the children, Arnav was standing with a basketball in hand near a makeshift goal post. Seeing her looking at him, he beckoned her to join them.
Ten minutes later, two teams were formed with Khushi heading the girls' team and Arnav heading the boys' team. They played for hours with Arnav teaching them the rules of the game and with time, Khushi's childlike enthusiasm returned. She became more involved in the game with Arnav helping her intermittently. The match was nearing its end and Khushi was trying hard to grab the ball from Arnav. With the neighborhood cheering, Khushi grabbed the ball and moved to the makeshift goal. She had moved too closer to the goal post that she couldn't reach it nor could she throw the ball in a better way. She tried to move back but Arnav and the boys blocked her way.
Khushi felt sad that she was going to lose the game. She startled when Arnav's arms locked around her waist and lifted her from the ground. She looked at him in surprise. He motioned her to finish the game.
That was the first step of the many that Arnav and Khushi took towards each other. When Khushi was in a constant edge for Arnav to realize again how wrong she was for him, Arnav was striving to prove her there was no one best suited for him than her.
Arnav woke up late that day having slept in the wee hours of the morning after a conference call with a particularly difficult client. He went in search of Khushi. They had made an unspoken ritual that every night Arnav would put her to sleep in her room before he went to bed and Khushi would be the one to wake him up. He had woken up early some days and had waited patiently for Khushi to come to wake him.
And the sight he saw made his heart skip a beat. Khushi was sitting on the porch with a little girl of 4 or 5 years of age on her lap. A boy around 10 years of age sat beside the two listening intently to whatever Khushi was saying. Arnav could read the affection for Khushi in the kids eyes. He wondered what it would be to watch Khushi with their children.
"Didi who is he?" the little boy pointed to Arnav.
Khushi looked at Arnav not answering. Arnav waited for her to answer, to know what he actually is to her.
After a long time which in reality might be mere seconds, she said.
"He is a friend Karan. My... Very good friend. He is staying with us for some time."
Arnav looked at her disappointment etched in his face. What did he think? One month with her and she will forget the lifetime of hurt he has given her? At least she didn't make him out to be a complete stranger and she did accept him as a good friend. Still it hurt him. He made a move to leave the place before she could see how much it had hurt him.
"Didi you mean your boyfriend?" Arnav looked at Khushi to see her reply and the sight of her with her eyes wide open, both hands covering the mouth in a O-shape that he so adores and the blush creeping up fast on her cheeks gave him all the answer he needed. He smirked at her and made his way to them.
"Yup I am her boyfriend." Arnav grinned at her as he sat near Karan. Karan gave him a assessing look and nodded once to himself.
"I am Karan and this is my sister Asha. We are going to stay here for some time too. Till my dad gets well." He held out his hand to Arnav with a look that said "I will be watching you." Arnav marveled at the protectiveness that this little boy showed.
He shook Karan's hand and said, "I am Arnav."
A few days and few games later, Karan, Asha and Arnav had become partners in crime; the crime being letting Arnav and Khushi as much private moments as possible. The two kids served as sentinels warning Arnav whenever Buaji was in the vicinity during their private moments. They also helped him in planning surprises for Khushi and Arnav enjoyed the moments he had with them. It was as if reliving his childhood only in a happier way. And Khushi was happy to let him have those moments.
In the following days, he opened up to her more than he had done with anyone in years. As he lost the burdens he carried for years, Khushi got to see a very different Arnav who still had a resemblance to the Arnav ji she had known for all these months.
Part B in next post 😊
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