IPK and Feminism Query#2 Page 36

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Krani

@Krani

Dazzler

+ 9

Posted: 12 years ago

#251

I think I would like to elaborate on my No...got a few minutes to spare from studies.

Anyway, when it comes to anger - I think the best person who can understand stupid stuff done and said in anger would be me. However my boundary for this comes to rape and abuse.

If he had even tarnished my name and reputation on a public forum, I wouldn't care as much, because it's gossip, it dies as time flies.

However rape is something that I most definitely would never be able to digest, mostly because according to me he is abusing my body, he is abusing me just because I am a girl and physically weaker than him. It's not like he doesn't have control..he does have control, but he doesn't exert it, and he doesn't care about anyone else. He is pretty much using my weaknesses and exploiting them against me to hurt me.

Even if it's just a threat, it's the fact that he had this thought that was harboured in his mind, to get me scared, to get me succumbed to his wants, is what will make me sick to my stomach.

And therefore that would be a reason why I would never be able to look at that man in the eye without feeling this rage and humiliation in me at what he threatened, at what he could have done.

PS: I am not comparing this to Barun/Arnav. I find my perception on this became clearer once I removed IPKKND from my mind and thought of a random man actually doing that to me. And therefore I became clearer in my mind, that if a random man did that to me...a random stranger whom I don't know, I would be scared, I would be angry...but if in the future we were to cross paths again, I would not let any sort of relationship or friendship blossom from that interaction.

Edited by Krani - 12 years ago

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Reem

@TRND86

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#252

Originally posted by: minimuffin86
OK so I'm pressed on time so instead of a character assessment I'm just going to pose a question instead:

Would you ever be with a man who had once threatened to rape you and then maligned your name and character on a public platform?

No! I wouldn't be with a man who has no respect for me. I have seen cases where girls/women have stayed with the man who repeatedly abuses & rapes them. I am not looking down upon them or saying that it's their fault that they can't leave. Sometimes the circumstances are not favorable and sometimes there is no support available. I cannot judge anyone's decision or their courage unless I have been in a similar situation. I hope to believe if ever I was put in a situation like this, I would have the strength to leave; support or no support. I don't think the man who has " once threatened to rape you and then maligned your name and character on a public platform " can truly respect you or give you the love you deserve. Every woman deserves to be cherished and there should be no excuse for demeaning another human being in such a manner & be a callous jerk and then expect to get away with just because the woman is supposed to be forgiving & with a heart of gold. At least that's what our culture and society preaches.

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BlueMystique

@BlueMystique

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#253

Personally I would say no.

And here's the reason why. He might have said it in a moment of rage, he might have repented, he could have done everything that is humanely possible to earn your forgiveness, you might feel pity for him at that moment of time, you might want to ease his pain, you might say yes. But there will come a time, and I am pretty sure about this, in your life, where you would blame him for it, in a moment of your own rage perhaps? What I mean to say is irrelevant of what happened after he uttered those words, they will always be an axe hanging over your head, and eventually it will come down on you. So, in my opinion, better to not form a relationship with him, because it would end up hurting you all over again, not only his actions, but your decisions as well.

And as far as public humiliation is concerned, my knee-jerk reaction is to say no, and to add that I might punch him and then go on to knee him in the crotch for good measure. But, to this I will say never say never. This is not something that to me is unforgivable. Depending on the circumstance, the reason behind it, maybe I will reconsider.

Rape and murder (unless it is self-defense, in which case it's not a murder. I should stop contradicting myself so brilliantly!) are pretty much the only things I would never forgive, I suppose. Oh, and cheating! Definite no!

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Reem

@TRND86

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#254

Originally posted by: april2003

NO, NO, NO

When someone show you who they are, believe them the first time they do!!!

I do believe in giving second chances but men like these rarely change over time.

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Sultan_Of_Swing

@Sultan_Of_Swing

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#255

Originally posted by: minimuffin86
OK so I'm pressed on time so instead of a character assessment I'm just going to pose a question instead:

Would you ever be with a man who had once threatened to rape you and then maligned your name and character on a public platform?

Hell No! I have dated a few dimwits and idiots in my time, but i would never ever go out with someone who threatened me with anything let alone Rape.

The foundations of a healthy relationship are love, honesty and respect. If your dont respect the other person, you might as well not be in a relationship with them.

Rape is a heinous crime- it not only physically violates the victim, but it also emotionall scars them and breaks them down. So there is absolutely no excuse for anyone who uses it to threaten you. in fact i have an issues with people using the term even in a lighter context. I have gotten into arguements with a few people in the forum when they say ' I raped the remote'. As it is majority of women avoid coming out and reporting molestation and rape, lets not marginalise it by using it as a tool for humor.

Lets learn to respect ourselves- once we do that no idiot can ever get away by threateneing something so sickening.

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HeadOverHeels

@HeadOverHeels

Inactive

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#256

Originally posted by: CravingKhana

I would love to believe I am that ...and there is nothing in my present that makes me believe different but i i know i can never be sure...but if i pray thats my only prayer...Lord give me the strength to be have the strength to do what i know is right...
(and what i know is right does not neccessarily translate to what IS right and What IS right may not be right for all)

Hiya Anne...

Hello, my friend... are you stocking up on those crates?

Agreed. What I posted was entirely personal, and, no judgment when I said that, because to each their own and the circumstances which mold a person to go down the path they choose (and is sometimes chosen for them through no fault of their own).

I personally loathe judgment passed on women who choose what they do, especially if they're obvious victims. However, it doesn't take away from the fact that people (women) often settle, and that is mostly to blame on society as a whole rather than the individual making that choice to settle.

Sadly, searching for worth based on our own ideas of strength is done too often, and not really the way we should go.

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CravingKhana

@CravingKhana

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#257

Originally posted by: HeadOverHeels

Hello, my friend... are you stocking up on those crates?

Agreed. What I posted was entirely personal, and, no judgment when I said that, because to each their own and the circumstances which mold a person to go down the path they choose (and is sometimes chosen for them through no fault of their own).

I personally loathe judgment passed on women who choose what they do, especially if they're obvious victims. However, it doesn't take away from the fact that people (women) often settle, and that is mostly to blame on society as a whole rather than the individual making that choice to settle.

Sadly, searching for worth based on our own ideas of strength is done too often, and not really the way we should go.

How can i forget em...th crates are coolin... the deck is invting...the fingers have warmed up...all we are in need of is that day eh!!!!

Point made Anne...

and yes I do like to point out that there is nothing remotely attractive even less romantic about Rape..

as NB pointed out it is a henious crime...

I find romanticising it for entertainment is wrong on so many levels...

I find it hard to believe that a man tortured by the untimely death of his mother, over protective of his sister would feel the need to project his "hurt" by raping an unknown woman...

Contradictions are plenty in this show and their charactor boards...

Most hindi shows seem to be working off a loose version of stockholm theory...

In their need to build the story along those stereo typical outline for a good romance ...

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the notebook

@the_notebook

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#258

I would make sure he never even gets my sight :-p

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BlueMystique

@BlueMystique

Rocker

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

#259

Originally posted by: HeadOverHeels

Hello, my friend... are you stocking up on those crates?

Agreed. What I posted was entirely personal, and, no judgment when I said that, because to each their own and the circumstances which mold a person to go down the path they choose (and is sometimes chosen for them through no fault of their own).

I personally loathe judgment passed on women who choose what they do, especially if they're obvious victims. However, it doesn't take away from the fact that people (women) often settle, and that is mostly to blame on society as a whole rather than the individual making that choice to settle.

Sadly, searching for worth based on our own ideas of strength is done too often, and not really the way we should go.

Anne! Badi jadhu ki jhappi!🤗

You know, chains made me face these issues? And I can honestly say that I will never judge an abuse victim ever again for the decisions they make, ever! It is how they percieve the situation they are in, and do the best they can, and I respect that. Yes, I know I am phan-gurling! But when do I not?😆

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Krani

@Krani

Dazzler

+ 9

Posted: 12 years ago

#260

Originally posted by: Naach_Basanti

Hell No! I have dated a few dimwits and idiots in my time, but i would never ever go out with someone who threatened me with anything let alone Rape.

The foundations of a healthy relationship are love, honesty and respect. If your dont respect the other person, you might as well not be in a relationship with them.

Rape is a heinous crime- it not only physically violates the victim, but it also emotionall scars them and breaks them down. So there is absolutely no excuse for anyone who uses it to threaten you. in fact i have an issues with people using the term even in a lighter context. I have gotten into arguements with a few people in the forum when they say ' I raped the remote'. As it is majority of women avoid coming out and reporting molestation and rape, lets not marginalise it by using it as a tool for humor.

Lets learn to respect ourselves- once we do that no idiot can ever get away by threateneing something so sickening.

Seeing that stuff makes me cringe.

I don't find any humour behind a statement such as that, and I don't even know why such a crude term is being used as everyday slang just to emphasise something.

Now, I've just learnt to ignore that word when used in such a context, or look the other way.