IPK and Feminism Query#2 Page 36 - Page 28

Well the first and obvious reaction is no. I would, in fact, never spare the man in question a second glance. I have no idea how khushi could gulp down the insult of working for the same man- on two occasions.

Having said that, it will also depend in whether or not the man has apologized and how much of it he does mean. Even then, I would have doubts about him. But they would fade un the long run if no similar accusation is repeated.

Extending the scope of the question a little bit further, while there is some possibility of forgiving regarding the "gold-digger" comment, there is no chance in hell that ASR deserves forgiveness. A person who can manhandle a woman, question her integrity, assault her physically (to an extent) does not hold any right to call another "characterless". So, there you go!

updated post... pg 36. (in case I'm not on the same page- literally/figuratively!)

Great post!

See, the word 'gold-digger', much like 'characterless' (I'm hoping there will be a discussion on that as well) is a loaded term. It could mean anything or nothing. In the common parlance, I suppose it is assumed that the wrongdoer is financially disadvantaged as compared to the one being gold-dug, and is taking undue advantage of that fact. But again, I wonder, what if both came from the same financial backgrounds and yet were with each other simply for more money? Would it still be a case of gold-digging?

Lavanya and ASR for example. Would she have been with him if he had been his usual arrogant self, earned a decent amount of money , but less than her, not as rich? I remember a scene where an expensive gift from him was enough to take her attention completely away from him. There was a similar scene with Khushi during her birthday sequence, with completely different results. I am not comparing the two outcomes, nor am I judging either of the two characters. I am not even concerned about how much less/more both women care for this man. My question is, does not Lavanya's relationship with ASR constitute a different form of gold-digging too, since the basis for it, after all, is money? Or is it not so, simply because ASR is fully aware of the reasons she is with him, one of them being his money?

Again, Anjali frequently misuses her brother's money for her own purposes, even going behind his back to do it, yet there is no doubt that Shyam is the 'gold-digger', not her, because we know that she would probably still love her brother just as much if he lost all his money at the races one fine day.

My point is that there are too many ways of going about 'gold-digging' for the words to have a permanent effect on me. If someone called me that. of course I would be mad at them and probably would curse them to the deepest pits of hell. But I don't think I would find the incident unforgivable, given a bit of time. Also, being a pretty pragmatic sort of person, I can say without any shame that for me, at first glance, a moneyed man would be more attractive than a broke vella. & if I were stinking rich, I would choose my friends a little more carefully because being wary in such cases is definitely wise. Simply put, the whole thing just does not make me as angry as the rape question. It might sound a tad insensitive, but it's how it is.

As for proving I'm not a gold-digger, I don't understand why I should even bother. If it has to happen, it will happen. No matter how much I was attracted, to go about collecting proofs would be maligning my own character and self-respect.

Whether I actually fall in love with him depends on a lot of other external factors too. If there is a genuine relationship, taking money from him if you need it should not be a problem. It is related to an understanding between two people, not a question about their (financial) independence. But yes, I would consider it an unforgivable betrayal if this thing crops up after we get to know each other. That would be an insult to the whole relationship.

Never... I would again say the same thing that I don't believe in the idea of love with out respect... How can I trust a person to treat me like a human being at least when he he feels happy in emotionally and psychologically torturing me bcz it ruins your life completely... A woman can be forced to marry and live with a person like that but given the choice she will never accept such a man in her life... I believe u r from Pakistan like I am but I am a bit older than u so in my college days girls used to idealise these kind of "rough" and "tough" guys( yes I have seen girls in my college and heard them that these qualities makes a man more attractive god knows for what reasons) but I believe that this attitude has changed a bit now... I have moved out of pk 13 yrs ago but that's what I feel now and my daughters wholly solely believe in the idea of love with respect and I keep drilling that in them bcz they r no less than anybody.

As far as taking money is concerned if u get married to such a person then its a very tricky situation isn't it? U haven't mentioned if the girl's and boy's family will be involved as well bcz then it will completely change the scenario... Normally a girl under family pressure or for her parent's honour is forced to do and live like a proper wife with the same man but for a boy nothing matters so in that a girl is forced to take money from the husband and treat everything of hers as his own no matter how much he taunts her for this... I think a girl should be financially independent or at least earning some sort of amount so that if they have to live with such a bas***d of a husband then they can sustain themselves.

P.S: u have to share this story with us bcz I'm quite intrigued abt these characters.

P.P.S: Have u got any plans to publish Pandora box, BTLSS ,ATU then plz let me know as I would love to buy them and when my daughter grows up wants her to read it as well.

Well, once again I wont out up with someone calling me a gold-digger, I have too much of pride to be able to swallow a taunt like that and let go. 'Respect' here is the key-word.
I'm self-made so no one will ever have the opportunity to call me that, but even if I werent working, it doesnt give men the right to call a woman a gold-digger with the sole intention to hurt and anotogonise the person.

I understand certain things are siad at the heat of the moment, but gold-digger really? If you let them think that they will get away once, they will surely repeat it. So digs like those mean a big bye from me.

The Arnav Kushi story from the show are what true stories and relationships are not made of. She was in dire need of money and could swallow all his taunts and he had his face so deep into his own arse, that it isn't even funny. But then give me those days instead of the pathetic excuse of a show we have currently.

Munches

Someone on a said "You will be surprised what you can live with" (Robert Wilson, House M.D.)

This question reminds me of that quote for now. Let me come back to it when I have a laptop. Great food for thought. I think I'm going to blame pregnancy and hormones for ever getting hooked to this show :-)

Well, look around. How many men can you point out who find a gold digger in every other financially unstable person they set eyes on?

Originally posted by: minimuffin86

Hello, so these questions are basically leading up to a character so bare with me please. Question # Two

Would you marry a man who once stated that you were a gold digger after his money? And if yes, wouldn't you wonder half your life that he still might think it of you? What does it take to prove that he is wrong and you are not after his money? Would you be comfortable taking money from him for anything?