T & T Tales! (Shivika)pART 3-p12-Through Thick & Thin (complet - Page 3

Shivaay watched her leave, his heart wringing a little more with each fading click of her heels. He took one step towards the door, aching with the need to crush her in his arms and absorb all her sorrows in his being, but he stopped himself. He knew if he followed her out, he'd be unfair to her. So he stepped back inside and began pacing up and down the length of his room, taking long strides to hold in the chaos building inside him.

But it wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. Nothing could help, could it? As always, he'd been the cause of his wife's misery and sadness - and he hated himself for it. Because those were the exact two things he'd promised she'd never have to go through again when they married.

Yet, here they were. To avoid talking about the real problem, he'd once again lashed out and broken her heart.

Shivaay picked up his cell phone from the side table and smashed it against the wall. It didn't help. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to calm himself but all his efforts seemed to be failing. Frustrated with the utter lack of control he had over the situation, he let the monster out loose. He lifted the lamp and slammed it against the dressing mirror.

Over the next ten minutes, loud noises continued to resonate from Shivaay Singh Oberoi's room as sheets were torn, chairs upturned, curtains pulled down and every single piece of glass was shattered.

Tired and wholly drained out, Shivaay sunk down by the side of the bed, holding his head in his hands and feeling more tormented than he'd ever felt in his life. He couldn't feel better - he wouldn't - unless, he knew, he told Annika the truth.

But how could he?

***

Three Months Earlier

"Doctor Sinha will see you now, Mr. Oberoi."

Shivaay rustled through his and Annika's medical records before he went inside, slightly nervous and asking his trusty Khanna to follow him as he opened the door and greeted his and Annika's gynecologist.

"How are you, Dr. Sinha? I hope you have some answers this time. Annika and I've been trying for months now without any results."

Dr. Sinha looked up at Shivaay and smiled apprehensively at him. "Yes, Mr. Oberoi. Please have a seat."

Shivaay sat down as Khanna stood back by the door, giving his boss some privacy.

Ever the sharp observer, Shivaay immediately realized there was some bad news. "What is it, Dr. Sinha?"

"Now Mr. Oberoi, I want you to receive this piece of information with an open mind, alright? Contrary to popular belief it isn't an uncommon condition and-"

"Do not beat around the bush, doctor. Is it Annika? Is something wrong with her?", Shivaay interrupted.

"No, no. Mrs. Oberoi is perfectly healthy."

Shivaay sighed in relief and relaxed back in his chair.

"Well then, what's the problem?"

"Mr. Oberoi, it's you. It seems you're suffering from some form of male infertility. There's a chance you may not ever be able to produce a child."

Echoing silence followed, with the only sounds coming from Dr. Sinha's wall clock and some of her machines. Shivaay looked at her dumbstruck and confused, his mouth slightly opened in shock and his brow, furrowed. Not knowing what to say, he just looked at her intently.

Mistakenly taking the hush as her cue, Dr. Sinha continued, "Now, these are very initial tests we've taken and we don't exactly know what can and can't be done at this point."

She paused, giving Shivaay time to digest. But his gaze had dropped to the table and his already expressionless face had completely blanked out. So Dr. Sinha picked up where she'd left off.

"I might not be the best person to consult from here on out. I've printed out a list of reproductive infertility specialists that you can see. But there are a few tests you should-"

"Not a word more."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said - not a word more."

Shivaay stood up, placed his hands on the table and leaned forward. His face had taken on the look of a ferocious devil - frightening and creepy. He seemed ready to murder if provoked beyond a certain point.

He brought his face closer to the doctor's and said, "Nobody. NOBODY ever hears about this, do you hear me doctor? Not even your husband. If word of this goes out of this room, you and your family will have hell to pay. I will send my people here later in the day and I want you to hand over every file, every test sample, every document that even hints that Annika and I had ever visited this place. If you try to sell this news out or gossip about it - trust me, I will know. Is that understood?"

And as Dr. Sinha gulped and nodded, Shivaay slammed the door and walked out.

***

Present Day

Annika was in dadee's empty room, away from her bagadh billa and crying her heart out. She sat on the floor, beside the bed, with her arms on the edge of the bed and her head hidden somewhere in the tangle of her arms. Her shoulders shook even more wildly as she recalled what Shivaay had just said.

So is that what he thought of her? That she deserved to remain in an orphanage and nowhere else? Was that the reason why he hadn't touched her for the past three months? Because he thought her dirty and unclean?

Annika didn't know - and it was killing her. Every time he refused to tell her, every time he looked away, every time he said all those nasty things about orphans, she died a little inside.

She raised her head as she heard the door opening. As Khanna walked in, she wiped away her tears and sat up straight. Without looking at him, she said, "Tell him I need some more time. I'm not-"

"Sir jee hasn't sent me, ma'am. I... There's... Well, there's something I should tell you. Something that will help you understand Shivaay sir."

Annika suddenly stood up and walked to him. Holding both his giant hands in hers, all inhibitions forgotten, she pleaded "You know why he suddenly doesn't want kids?! Tell me, Khanna jee. Please, you have to."

Khanna nodded and led her to the couch.

***

"Shivaay..."

He looked up as she walked in and the moment his eyes fell on her face, he knew she'd found out. He didn't know who'd told her or how, but he could clearly see it.

And he couldn't face it.

He looked away and hid his face deep in his arms.

"No!", Annika shouted and ran to him, "No, no! She held both his wrists in her hands and tried to free him. "Shivaay don't hide from me. I can't take it!"

"Stop it, Annika! Go away. I don't need your pity. I'm fine on my own."

"Pity? Shivaay, don't! Don't think of yourself that way. I can't take it when you see yourself as anything but perfect."

She practically wrestled with him, surrounded by the wreck of torn sheets and crushed glass. The two struggled in the midst of the ruins of their room. Determined that they look eye to eye when she talked, she held his face stubbornly in her hands and made him look up.

"Shivaay, look at me. I love you. Do you hear me? I. LOVE. YOU. I am in love with you. Period. That's all that matters."

"Annika", he called out to her from his sea of darkness, grasping at the rays of light coming from her, "I... don't... don't deserve you..."

"Please, Shivaay! You have no idea how much that hurts. I can't see you like this. You know how you keep telling me that you get your strength from me? Well, it goes both ways for us. I get my strength from you and if you're so wrecked and broken, I will be, too. So stop this and listen to what I have to say."

Like a lost, lonely child, he followed her orders. Wiping his tears with the back of his hands, he listened as she said, "I don't care if we never have kids, as long as I have you. You are the strongest, bravest, most caring, most compassionate and the most magnificent man I have ever, ever known. I wouldn't change a single thing about you. You're Shivaay Singh Oberoi. You're unparalleled, you're matchless and don't you ever forget it!"

"Annika, you don't understand. I've taken the joy of motherhood from you. Because of my inadequacy, you can never..."

But she shook her head vehemently and covered his mouth with her hand, "Shivaay it's not an inadequacy. I talked to your doctor and she told me you didn't even listen to her completely. She told me there might be a cure. Why can't we try it out? Dr. Sinha has signed an NDA and she's an incredibly responsible woman. She won't tell anyone."

"And what if everything fails? What if we still can't be parents?"

Annika sighed and sat back, she wiped the now dry tears from his face and with a determined look on her face, she asked him "Why are you so against us adopting?"

Shivaay looked away, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier, Annika. That was me lashing out to shut the topic down. But if we adopt... people will talk. And they won't be talking about me."

Annika replied, "And you don't want anyone knowing the truth?"

Shivaay shook his head in response and she replied, "Then let them talk. I don't care what people are saying as long as I have you with me."

"But it's not okay with me!"

"Don't stress Shivaay. We're together, we'll think of something as long as we're together."

"It's not that easy, Annika!", Shivaay stood up in anger at her stubbornness, "What do we tell the family?"

"We tell them the truth", Om's voice came from the poolside door.