Prompt: She wants to adopt a child from the orphanage, but is aware of his not so inclination towards it. What will she do?
Word Count: 1094
{Tormented}
"I thought, we were done talking over it." A certain displeasure came clear through his voice and the tone he had used, made her sigh.
"Can't you consider it for one more time?" She urged sincerely, grabbing the hold of his hand.
"It is a no from my side." Getting off her hold with an ease, he ambled towards bed, making a place for him there sitting down.
"Shivaay," she called, following him to the bed, standing in front of him. Despite of not willing to meet her gaze, he looked up and found the very same zeal and anticipation in those big eyes that he had come across before a month, when she had raised this topic for the first time. He averted his eyes from her, the next moment, not ready to see disappointment in them again.
"Anika, can we not leave this topic?"
She heard the same question that was getting in her ears since one month and she was still unable to understand about what he was so reluctant. Watching his face covering with distress, she quickly sat beside him and circled her one hand around his back and one around his chest.
"I am tired, Anika. Can I sleep for some time?" The way he spoke, held urgency, as if he did not want to be with anybody that particular moment. She had sensed about the same and even after having a strong mental denial to let him stay alone, she rose on her feet unwrapping her hands that had held him.
"I am in kitchen. Have to cook dinner. Call me if you need anything." Though, she was aware that he would do anything but that, she still mentioned it for sake of her satisfaction.
He just nodded and kept his eyes glued on her as she made an exit from their room. His thumb on his cheek, he rubbed his forehead vigorously, visibly tormented. Letting himself fall back on the bed, he closed his eyes that had become heavy. A tear escaped from his eyelid and she had her palm on her mouth at the sudden blow of shock. He never cries. She had not seen a single tear in his eyes in three years of their married life.
She had an idea that something was wrong with him, something was bothering him, and she did ask him about it. She asked repeatedly but he every time replied with, it was nothing. There was no way she could force him to say even if there was anything, because that was the only thing he had asked from her, to never pressurize him to tell if he was not letting it out, on his own.
Helplessly sighing, she hung her head down for a moment before she walked towards the kitchen. She stressed her mind over the recent incident she witnessed as she pressed her palms on the kitchen slab. What it could be? The question had arisen in her mind time, and again. What it could be? Her husband was perfect, if she could use that word to describe him but at times, he was nothing but mysterious to her, just mysterious. His words not matched his face, many times and whenever she tried asking him, he would end up changing topic, taking her for a long drive, dates, and treats. She was not that naive to understand that he was avoiding the conversation. There surely was something he was holding back, something that he was refraining himself from making her aware of.
"Shivaay," she muttered in a low voice closing her eyes momentarily, "What is the thing, bothering you? She shrugged off everything that clouded her mind for a while and started preparing the dinner for that night. While stirring the Kheer she made for him, she inhaled the aroma of it and smiled slightly, hoping his favourite dish would lighten his mood a little so that she could talk to him with a more clarity.
She climbed the stairs and made her way towards their room, to call him for the dinner.
"Shiva-"
"I am sorry."
Her sentence was cut off by his apology when she was uttering his name. He always did that, her eyes reflected an admiration about the same.
Making her feet take her to him, she held his face in her hands. "It is okay.
"It is not." Guilty, he could not stand what he had done, every time. "Come." He pulled her on the bed and she sat quietly.
"What is wrong, Shivaay? You can share with me."
"Anika I..."
"You hate orphans?" She asked, clearly voicing out what the conversation was all about. "You would not like one in our life? But wait, how could you hate them? Otherwise all those donations in the orphanages, sponsoring their educations, making sure they get a lovely life why would you do that then?
He had been hearing her without saying a word.
"Why can't we adopt someone, Shivaay?"
"You did not want me to to conceive a child. I accepted that, didn't I? But adopting a kid... I don't think there is anything, you should deny because of." She continued speaking when he chose not to reply.
"Say something, Shivaay."
"Anika, I don't hate kids. I don't hate orphans but I think they are better in orphanage. That is their place and people stay happy in their place. The main thing we aren't having our kid and we aren't adopting any other one. Lets mark a full stop to this conversation right here." The second he finished, he had an utterly enraged feeling towards himself coming across tears that shone in her eyes. He hated whenever she cried.
Reaching out for her hand, he held it but it slipped from his hand because she had got up and moved distant from the bed.
"Anika please."
"Let me be alone for a while." She almost whispered, looking everywhere else except him.
"Anika wait-"
"Shivaay, I have always given you, your space right? I hope you will give me mine today."
He couldn't bring himself to say anything after it. She was right. He had straightaway distanced himself whenever things triggered him. Instead of making her a part of his inner thoughts, beliefs, fears, and whatever it was, he chose to not do that. She was his wife, who had a right to know everything related to him but somehow, because of some reasons, he could never give her that right.
Before he could say anything, she was out of the room.
*
Edited by IAdoreYou - 7 years ago
Cricket
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