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Hey All, 🤗
Kya haal DKDs ka? 😆
So(I am really bad at this stuff😆), I got inspired to try my hand in writing after reading some great stuff on RiKara, most of which are far more convincing than what's shown on TV. 😳
This isn't as good as most of the works here, but I tried my best. 😳. 😳 I was listening to Adnan Sami's Teri Yaad Aati hai and Atif Aslam's Tere Bin when I wrote this, to get the right feels! 😳
This OS is dedicated to my six favourite DKDs! You all know who you are. 😳
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Sleep isn't an escape. Her mind seemed to be whispering it to her as she stared at the back of her eyelids. Night brought with it memories, she wanted to remember...forget.. Nights made her wish days were longer. Days, when she could drown herself in work. In her clothing store. Surrounded by colours, even when every happy shade has left her life. Forever.
The incessant chirping of an elated sparrow disrupted her disturbed slumber at six thirty that morning. It was too early for her to muster up the energy necessary to shoo the inane creature from its perch behind the pane, so instead she reached a weak hand blindly to her side and pulled the rumpled pillow over her ear with a raspy groan.
The pillow reminded her of him; the softness very much like his hair's texture. She pushed her nose deeper and breathed it in ... reverently.
The truth of who she was without him, who she was not without him, creeped into the very depths of her being and dragged her under. She had stopped fighting against its pull long ago; choosing to numb it instead. Until nights came, haunting her, assaulting her with his memories.
But now she was awake once again. Alone in her neatly made bed with the sounds of life outside her window. Mocking. She pushed the pillow deeper into her face, bracing herself as her hand created a feeble fist in the lumpy material. She knew the memories would assault her as they did every morning she awoke.
They came in brief, sharp flashes as she clenched her eyes closed and pushed the pillow as tightly to her face as her strength would allow.
The first time she saw him. The day he married her. The first time he smiled at her. The day he hugged her in the rain. The way he looked at her while he tied her dori.. His laughter and smiles. Smirks and stolen glances. His husky voice. His strong artist hands over her body. Open hair. Intense eyes. His kisses...
She was sick again. She ran and huddled over the porcelain basin and heaved nothing. No stomach acid. No food. Nothing.
She was empty. She was stuck. She didn't look in the mirror as she rose. She never did. She never could. It was the same routine for the last three years.
After her morning rituals, she headed straight towards her store. Her sanctuary. Her pride. The place where she buried her sorrows for the day, buried her memories till the night.
She greeted her hyper active assistant Megha with a broad smile, and proceeded to offer her prayers in front of her late mother's framed photo. Maa.
Her mother's weak heart couldn't withstand the turn her life took. Her dreams of her mother supporting her through it, with it ended with her mother's last breath.
Taking a deep calming breath, and pushing the punishing memories aside, she got back to work. She had opened a small women clothing store with the help of her mother's meagre ornaments, life insurance and a loan from her beloved Dandi bhaiya. An automatic smile crept in her face at the thought of him. She wouldn't have made it here, appeared as strong as people thought she was if not for him. If only they saw through your strong facade, saw what,who and how you were when alone in the confines of your home her mind whispered mockingly.
Arranging the sarees neatly, she listened to her assistant chirping happily about her computer classes and her boyfriend.
No one understood what prompted her to shift her base to Indore. She wanted to be far away from the cities; Bareily from where it all started and Mumbaiwhere it all ended.
Her assistant's hand on her shoulder brought her out of her musings.
"Are you alright?." Megha inquired with a sad knowing glance.
I wish I could say the truth to you meg, I wish I knew she thought.
A loud family of three arrived then distracting them both effectively.
----
"Green" the husband said while he adjusted the toddler in his arms.
"You always want me in Green" the wife said curtly, coldly.
The wife's tone surprised her. Angered her. She wanted to yell at her for taking this for granted. For not knowing what she had. For not realising how many women starve for such attention, such love from their husbands, for a life like hers. For how much she does for another chance to have this with Him.. Him fighting with her over such trivial matters looked like paradise to her. So simple, so fulfilling. so heartbreaking.
Teary eyed laughter and forceful tickles. Feathers and paints. Footsteps and chuckles. Warm and wandering fingertips. Kisses and caresses. Open hair. Naughty smiles.
She closed her palms painfully over the counter and focused on the task at hand.
"Your husband is right, ma'am. Green does suit you" she said with a small smile.
After much coaxing, the happy customers left leaving her strangely...empty. She had been imagining them in this silly scenario. She closed her eyes and whispered his name shakily. Today she felt weak.
...xx
Seven years ago, she had met him for the first time on this day. Omkara Singh Oberoi was rude and arrogant or so she thought when he had smashed her tiny shop with his car. She had retaliated by bulldozing his car to pieces. Never did she think, then, that he would be the man who would own her soul. Their marriage had happened under dire, unconventional circumstances. It wasn't every woman's ideal to get married to a stranger who married her out of humanity. They were brought together by fate. But they stayed together by choice. A choice they made after the misunderstandings that plagued their relationship cleared. After they realised they fell in love irrespective of that.
They had hopes and dreams. A world tour for an year he would mention with a glint in his eyes. She used to laugh and throw herself in his arms. Omkara was an intense romantic. Winding her around his finger with one flash of his dashing smile, and one touch of his soft lips. Her life with him had been perfect, full of happiness and love. Until fate decided to take it all back.
...xx
Megha's arms around her brought her back to the present.
"I...I will leave now, Meg. I...I n..need to be alone. You take care of it, here" she whispered brokenly. She left pretending she didn't see the pity in her assistant's eyes.
She walked home blindly, her memory of the habitual path sharp and clear despite her mental fatigue under the strain of her painful memories.
His head on her stomach, thump thump thump, the noise of a tiny heartbeat, their joyful tears, his hands on her rounded belly, their daughter.
Her hands shook as she pushed the door open. She trembled, as she was met once again with the truth of her reality. She went to her bed, and there was serenity in the way it was waiting for her when she arrived.
Her trembling hands opened the cabinet besides the bed and produced the only two tangible memories of the life she had ever lived. A reminder that for a short span of time, she had it all. A reminder that for the rest of her long, empty life she had to exist, to breath, holding on to it as a talisman.
She looked at the photo with painful longing and a sob she had been holding on since the morning burst free. She remembered when Rudy bhaiya had clicked this particular picture. Omkara had announced to their family about her pregnancy. After an elated round of celebratory hugs, they both had simply looked at each other with joy, with contented smiles, his hand lightly touching her flat stomach hugging her protectively to him. A moment captured on camera unknown to them.
Later that night, he had rested his big warm hand on her bare, still flat belly and his head on her chest. He was absolutely ecstatic. She had ran her fingers through his long hair as they laid in bed that night. "What would you prefer?" she had asked in reference to the sex of a child. His body shook with silent laughter that reverberated down to her toes where their feet had become as intertwined as their hearts.
"I don't care." He had replied simply with a smile in his voice. "Though, a daughter would be nice" he had said with wonder.
Her hands shook when she viewed the sonogram film in the evening light, the outlines of a baby, her baby clearly visible.
Silent Sobs wracked her body as she closed her eyes and remembered thatfateful day with perfect clarity. The day she lost her everything.
They were coming back from the hospital after an ultrasound, ecstatic after the doctor had announced the baby was healthy and growing.
"Did you hear that" they both had asked in unison.
"Yes"
"He is strong"
"She is a fighter"
"I still think it's a boy" she had said with a scowl.
"We shall see in four more months, Mrs.Oberoi. I know it's my daughter in there" he had replied smugly.
She was about to retort when she had felt it. The fluttering moving sensation inside her stomach.
"Om" her breathless excited whisper had made him turn; a lapse in his concentration was all it took for fate to interfere and take what it had given her so generously. Between a truck and an ambulance, their car was crushed and smashed. Their dreams destroyed.
She had woken up in the hospital a week later to see her Anika Bhaujai crying by her side. Her flat tummy indicating her to what must've transpired, what she had lost.
She had hugged her Bhaujai, and cried. Her loud sobs resonating in the room.
"Why? Why did it happen to us,Bhaujai. We all were so happy. Why did it happen to us?" she cried. Her thoughts on how her husband must be faring stopped her tears, momentarily. "Omkaraji!! where is he? I need to see him. He was so excited. He would be so broken. I need to be stronger for him.. I can't, I..I won't let him break. I will hold him together. " she had finished, frenetically. Her Anika Bhaujai had assured her vaguely that all will be fine with time and left hurriedly to call the family.
Even after her repeated attempts over the days in the hospital, none of her family members had said anything about her Omkaara. They had looked at each other and evaded her question every time. That should have clued her that something was wrong, she thought bitterly.
She had gotten discharged from the hospital after a week, and by then she knew something was wrong. Horrible scenarios had formed in her mind. Omkara gravely injured. Omkara unable to walk. Nothing short of these would've stopped him from meeting her. She had been eager to meet him, see him, hold him, assure him that everything would be fine. That together, they could face it all.
"Where is he" she had demanded Rudra.
"Bhabhi... wo"
"Not anymore, bhaiya. Just tell me. Is he injured? Is he unable to walk?" she had asked dreading the answer.
Rudra had looked at her sadly, while taking her to her room.
"Omkaraji hum" she had called while opening the door.
Her husband's smiling face had stared back at her from an ornate expensive frame. A garland adorning the life size photo.
Minutes passed, or maybe hours. She had stood there looking at him with numb disbelief. She wanted to scream but no sounds had escaped her mouth. She had simply sunk to her knees on the dark floors of her room. There were family members, crying, assuring her that everything will be fine. All this time, a single question had echoed inside her mind like a chant Why is her heart still beating?
She had wanted to cry, but was unaware if the tears ever managed to escape her wide, terror stricken eyes. The weight of the grief brought upon her soul had threatened to drag her under and hold her down. And she had welcomed the peace of its relief as she felt the thread that had held her to this earth sever irrevocably.
She had crumbled on the hard floors and watched her life being mourned.
It had taken her few months to decide to leave her in laws forever. Living in that house, where every corner reminded her of him had been torturous. She had realised, without him by her side, they didn't hold much importance to her. She had left on a rainy night, without a letter, and shifted to Indore. They would be angry and hurt but He would understand.
Three years had passed since then, and nothing had changed she thought thinking about the family she had met today. She still felt a tug at her broken, battered heart when she saw families together. Family. She once had it. The happiness of belonging to a beautiful man. The contentment of owning him. The fulfilment of creating a new life together.
"WHY?" her scream reverberated through the empty walls.
"Why? Please come back I need you. I...I am alone and empty without you." she whispered to the darkness.
She lay there for a while, embracing the memories even as it shred her soul to pieces.
She closed her eyes and imagined him hugging her tightly, giving her strength to go on..
His memories. Her strength. Her reason to exist.
She got up from the bed, wiping her tears and looked at the night sky. A small sad smile played on her lips. Night sky. His favourite. He had once painted it in vivid detail. Several times they had laid down under the sky, enjoying the stars.
Gauri Omkara Singh Oberoi will continue to exist, to breath because somewhere out there in the universe He was shining brilliantly among the twinkling stars of the clear February midnight.
----End---
Good? Bad? Okay okay? Kaisa laga batao. Honest reviews awaited.
Hugs
Piyu
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