Crossing Limits. [TS|Obros|Rudra|RuMya] - completed: pg.11

Hello, there.

So, I am not exactly sure what I did here, lol. I just wanted to write Rudra-angst because we are being deprived of that in the show, unfortunately. The title says "RuMya" though, not that much - at least not in this first part. But lots of Obros' feelings, especially OmRu. But everyone who knows me would be expecting that, I guess.

A big Thanks to Sue, Sarcy and Preeta and anyone else I might have forgotten (I am sure I forgot someone, it just happens with me...) who brainstormed with me for this - and of course, Jessi, who helped me with a certain aspect (though, I might still have taken some liberty). Hope you can find peace after reading this - and the rest of this 😆

Warning: Dark? It's angsty. I love angst. Read at your own risk.

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Crossing Limits.

"What is it? Not enjoying your party?"

"...B-Bhaiyya?"

Omkara shifted the phone a little so that he could press it between his ear and shoulder and brought his right hand back toward the clay he had been working on. It didn't look like anything, yet, since he just started a few minutes ago before the phone call interrupted him. He frowned, fingers halting in their movements. It was strange for Rudra to call him while he was enjoying himself on a party. And was it his imagination or did he sound... off?

"Are you drunk? I hope you have a driver with you."

There was silence on the other end only interrupted by heavy, erratic breathing. Om slowly straightened up in his chair, pulled back his arms and took the phone into his fingers, once again. Something was wrong, his instincts were practically screeching.

"Bhaiyya?" Rudra finally croaked. "I think something's crawled under my skin."

"What?" Omkara pressed the lower part of his left wrist against the edge of the table he had been working on, and leaned forward a little. "What are you talking about?"

"And it's moving," Rudra whispered, ignoring Om completely. Or maybe he hadn't been listening. "It doesn't stop! And it's eww. Make it stop. Make them all stop!"

"Rudra!" What in the name... "Calm down. You have to calm down, do you hear me?" What was happening? Why did Rudra sound as if he were on the verge of a panic attack? And what was he blabbering about?

"I think they are still... still laughing. At me." Rudra made a strange sound which Om couldn't tell whether it was a hum, huff or sniffle. A mix of all three? "I hate it here. Bhaiyya, I can't-"

"I am coming over," Om interrupted him. The urgency in his tone made him sound harsher than intended and he couldn't help but wince at that. "I'll be there in a few," he said more gently. "Okay? Wait for me."

"Hm-hm. Am feeling sooo weird... Bhai, why?"

Omkara barely noticed how he had crossed his room and was hastily pulling on a jacket from the hatstand, not even bothering about his dirty hands. Everything seemed to fade into the background as worry and alarm slowly clouded his mind. He still didn't understand what was going on. The only thing his mind registered was that his little brother was about to suffer from an attack, there was no music in the background so he might be somewhere alone, he sounded off and was talking gibberish but the bits that were clear were more than concerning.

"You're still at that club?" Please, be there, please.

Rudra hummed. "I think. Outside?"

He didn't bother switching on any lights in the halls as he descended them, he knew his way around the house blindly. "I'm on my way, don't worry."

"It's still moving. Why?"

Omkara suppressed an impatient sigh. Why wasn't that boy focusing on what he was saying? And the shift in his tone, the hint of hysteria now had his hackles raising. Something moving beneath his skin? Alcohol didn't make you feel like this. He needed to stop Rudra from panicking.

"What does it exactly feel like?"

"Like..." Rudra groaned miserably. "Like insects crawling under my skin."

One foot already out of the main door, Omkara found himself rooted in place. A chill ran down his spine though whether due to the cold wind that hit him the moment he opened the door or due to the ice that was slowly spreading through his veins. He couldn't even really pinpoint what it was, this sudden restlessness, this fear but it was increasing with each passing second.

"You need to stay calm," he said and prayed that Rudra was listening to him. "Just wait for me."

"Soumya?"

When the girl looked up Omkara recognized her to be indeed Soumya. She was leaving the club together with another girl, and seemed very surprised to see him here. Yes, it had been a party organized by college kids, hadn't it? And Soumya and Rudra went to the same college.

"Majhle Bhaiyya?" They stopped on their way when he approached them, Soumya frowning slightly. "What are you doing here?"

"Where's Rudra?"

Soumya shared a quick, amused look with her friend though there was a certain stiffness to her movements. Or was he just imagining it? "I don't know. He actually disappeared a while ago. I thought he might have gone home."

She came from inside, Rudra had said that he was outside hence, why she might have not known where he was. They weren't friends, either, that Rudra would inform her or that she would keep tabs on him. "Is he alright?"

The frown on Soumya's forehead deepened as she regarded him with confusion. "I think so." She shrugged. "Might have had a bit too much to drink, though." At that, her friend chuckled behind a hand pressed to her mouth.

Om furrowed his brows. They didn't seem completely sober, either, to be honest. There was a definite slur to Soumya's words and they both seemed to be a bit unsteady on their feet. He wouldn't have pegged Soumya as someone to drink- and he definitely didn't have time for this but... "Where are you going? I can call a driver for you."

Soumya instantly shook her head. "No, no! Romi lives close by. We're just-"

"Okay," he replied hastily and nodded at them before rushing past them, ignoring it when he heard Soumya call after him questioningly. Was it bad that he felt relieved not to be forced to make sure they reached home safely? His mind was already elsewhere.

For a split second, he stared at the sign glaring down at him from above the double doors of the club - without really registering what it said. "Outside," he muttered to himself and let his eyes take in the surroundings, empty streets, as he quickly walked along the wall of the club. How come the streets here were so dark?

"Rudra? Rudra!"

Omkara took out his phone from his pocket and dialed Rudra's number. Though, no one picked up but... He pursed his lips thoughtfully as his steps slowed down. Was that the sound of something vibrating? Where? Pushing himself away from the wall, though his fingertips were still touching the rough surface, he looked around. It was close by, obviously. A shocked gasp escaped his lips when his fingers grabbed into nothingness, all of a sudden.

Surprised, Omkara whirled around. An alley? Removing his phone from his ear, he listened carefully. Yes, it did come from there. "Rudra? Are you there?"

"Ngh."

Where... Omkara's gaze snapped toward a c crumpled form not that far away from him, barely noticeable in the darkness. The closer he walked the better he could see- Rudra slumped down against the wall, knees pressed to his chest and arms wrapped around them and shivering like a leaf in the wind.

Within a heartbeat, Om found himself kneeling at his brother's side, one hand buried in his hair while the other gripped his shoulder. "Rudra? Hey!"

Rudra raised his head slowly and stared at him through heavily lidded eyes. With mere inches between them, Omkara could make out that his pupils were dilated. And he was breathing erratically, his expression contorted into one of horror.

"What-" Om faltered when his attention fell on Rudra's arms. He grabbed one and brought it close to his face. It... "Is that blood? What the hell! Rudra!"

"W-wouldn't stop moving," Rudra muttered. Then, without any warning, he leaned forward and pressed his head against Omkara's chest. "Wanna go home, Bhaiyya."

Oh, you most definitely will not. Despite what Soumya had said, Om doubted Rudra was drunk- a drunk Rudra was hyperactive and difficult to tame, normally. And the skin issue... "Can you stand up? Rudra?"

"I..." Rudra clutched the back of Om's jacket and for a moment, Om thought he was trying to be difficult - until he felt his tremors increase and breathing come out as gasps.

Damn. Had he been like this the whole time? How long had he been sitting here in this condition? Damn! Om carded his fingers soothingly through Rudra's hair, it was as much an attempt to calm his own erratically beating heart down as Rudra. "Hey, Rudra, calm down. Breathe." This usually worked but now, Rudra didn't seem to register what he had said. Or he was unable to follow the instruction.

Something was very wrong and he needed to know what. He pushed Rudra away a bit, as difficult as that was, and made sure to lock their gazes. "Try to stand up, okay? We'll leave. I'm here, I'll take care of everything."

He just hoped Rudra would make it easy on him.

"Drug?"

Om felt as if someone had ripped the floor from beneath his feet with such a force that send him spiraling without anything to grab on to. A huge wave of dizziness swept over him, and if not for the wall to his right, he was sure he would have fallen.

The doctor, an older man with greyish hair, eyed him strangely but didn't comment. "Yes. Cocaine, it seems, and in no small amounts."

"Impossible." No. Just, no.

"Unfortunately not, Mister Oberoi," the doctor replied. "Does your brother have a-"

"No!" Omkara cut him off harshly. "He's never had... why would he?" Rudra was childish and immature but not this stupid. Never. Yet...

It seemed as if the doctor wanted to say more but in the end, he just sighed. "I see. Well, we'll be keeping him here over night, for now." He nodded and left.

Omkara let himself fall back against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor, one leg pulled up to his chest while the other was stretched out. Drug. That one word kept circling around his mind like a taunt. His baby brother had taken drugs - according to the doctor. But how? It didn't make sense. Why would Rudra do this? There hadn't been anything wrong, nothing that could have emotionally stressed him- Shivaay and he had always made sure of that. Had it been a college thing? Peer pressure or the likes?

"Oh, God." Om quickly covered his mouth and swallowed the bile rising in his throat.

What would have happened if Rudra hadn't called him? For how much longer would he have remained in that alley, scratching off his own skin and fighting waves of panic attacks on his own? What if he had taken even more and-

"Stop it," he whispered to himself. "Everything's fine."

Though, it really wasn't.

Rudra hated hospitals. He hated them even more when he had no recollection of how and why he ended up in one, and that, too, in pain. His head was pounding as if someone was trying to hammer it open from within. And looking down at his bandaged arms, he felt completely like a zombie. What had happened? Pushing off the blankets, he carefully placed his naked feed on the cool floor and just stared down at them, brows furrowed. He remembered the party, Sumo having been there, as well, and Romi, too, alongside many of their peers. Sumo had challenged him to a drinking game -the guts- but he hadn't drowned more than what? Two shots? He had lost. And embarrassed himself beyond imagination.

God, he had behaved so stupidly. Been loud and euphoric, unbalanced, his tongue completely loose, he didn't even want to think about what rubbish he had been sprouting there. He had made a complete fool out of himself - he could still hear the mocking laughter and see the sneers thrown his way. The amusement over Rudra Singh Oberoi unraveling like this with barely any alcohol in his system. Shit.

Instinctively, Rudra pressed his eyes closed and took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down his nerves. They were acting up and made him feel restless. And his chest... it seemed too small for his wildly beating heart, all of a sudden. Breathe, he chided himself mentally. Don't indulge into that. Breathe. What had happened afterward? He had ended up at the back of the club because that place had been suffocating. The difficulty to breathe... the feeling of being constricted... something moving beneath his skin... His gaze shifted back toward his bandaged arms. They were still tingling... And O. Yes, he realized, surprised. O had been there. But where was O now? Why wasn't he here with him?

As if his question had been listened to, the door to the room was opened and O stepped inside. Rudra barely noticed how his brother froze mid-way, too overwhelmed by the sudden rush of relief that flooded him. He jumped up and walked over with quick strides, mouth twitching upward. "O, I am-!"

Time seemed to stop. Rudra blinked, completely stunned. Carefully, he raised his right hand and let the tips of his fingers brush over his cheek - where the heat was rapidly spreading. It was nothing, though, compared to the sudden fire that was licking at his heart. O had just... slapped him. He had-

A rough grip on his forearm forced him to face Omkara. And only now did Rudra see it: the fury etched into his features. The sight was enough to have his throat tighten up. "How dare you? Just... how?!"

Rudra opened his mouth but it took him several attempt before any sound was willing to come out. "W-what did I do?"

"What did you do?" Om repeated slowly. "Instead of explaining yourself you are going to play ignorant? Everything has a limit, Rudra!"

O got upset with him from time to time but that was over small things and the anger vanished as soon as it appeared. But this? This was raw fury mixed in with desperation and it scared him. Scared him because he had never seen his O like this. And he didn't know how to manage these situations.

"But I-"

"Cocaine," Om whispered. His nails were lightly digging into Rudra's arm, by now. "You took cocaine. Are you kidding me?"

What? He shook his head. What the hell? "No, Bhaiyya! I didn't."

"Don't lie to me!"

Rudra flinched. Om hadn't yelled but the icy sharpness of his voice was worse than that- it cut, deeply so. He swallowed and blinked furiously when his eyes started to burn traitorously. Shit. He just didn't understand what was going on here.

"You were behaving very strangely over the phone," Om said slowly. "You scratched your arms until they were bloody, for God's sake!" He pointedly stared at them. "If you hadn't called me- what were you thinking? How could you be this stupid?!"

I wasn't, he wanted to scream but... he couldn't bring himself to. There was a lump in his throat, thick and heavy and unyielding, and he feared suffocating on his own words if he were to try and speak. It wasn't even the anger that had him overwhelmed but the pure disappointment evident in Om's expression and the pain flickering in his eyes.

O let go of him abruptly, placed both his hands on his hips and turned his face away. He bit down on his lower lip, raised his brows and nodded. "You're immature. You're childish. But I never knew that you really didn't care that much about Shivaay and me."

The words were like needles plunged into his chest and instead of being taken out, pressed deeper and deeper with each passing second. People could call him a spoilt brat as much as they wanted. Shallow, heartless, inconsiderate. Mock him. It was all fine. But implying that he didn't love his brothers? He couldn't bear that. And the fact that it was his O who thought so...

"You know what drugs did to me," Omkara whispered hoarsely, voice shaking with suppressed emotions. "What Shivaay went through. You, yourself. And still!"

Rudra might not be aware of the details but he remembered very vividly what a dark place their home had become back then- especially when Om hadn't been around during his rehabilitation. Even today when those memories tried to stir, they were enough to open a dark pit of misery inside of him, trying to pull him in. He preferred locking them away and never go down that lane; it had been difficult to go through the helplessness and loss and hurt once, he couldn't bear to do so repeatedly. Heck, he didn't even get drunk that often because he knew! He knew how much Om hated it, how much drugs affected him. And he never wanted to put his brothers through what he had gone through - years ago, and then when Om accidentally overdosed on those damned sleeping pills.

How could Om believe that he would take drugs?

"Life," Om said and watched intently him while doing so. Were that droplets of tears escaping the corners his eyes? His stomach churned sickeningly. "Life is not always a joke, Rudra. What you did... I just-" He brushed away strands from his forehead and let his palm rest there, an aggravated sigh falling off his lips.

Rudra walked a little closer though, as much as he was itching to he didn't dare reach out for his brother. What if he was pushed away? "Bhaiyya, please." His own voice was scratchy as if he hadn't used it for days but he didn't care about that. "I didn't do anything!"

"So, the doctor's lying to me?!" O hissed. "And I am lying, too, right? Because I saw you last night and it scared the life out of me."

Rudra cringed. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't think straight, his mind was numbed by Om's disappointment and pain and his chest was burning so viciously by now that he was surprised he wasn't screaming, yet. He couldn't bear it if Shivaay Bhaiyya and O ended up in a tiff, however harmless, but being at the receiving end? Especially of O who was always calm and composed, and that, too, for something he hadn't done.

"You know what? I can't deal with this, right now."

What?

"I've called Khanna, he will take you home. I really can't... I don't know what I might do."

He was sure that he was crying by now and he didn't bother to hide it. What was the use? All he wanted was for Om to hug him so that he could shield himself from all the horrible things that had transpired, lately. He wanted his brother not... not this bitter shell who managed to do nothing but inflict pain on him. Maybe this was a dream- a nightmare.

Though, it hurt too much to be one.

And when Om turned away from him, Rudra could hear something inside of him crack. This was probably how a dying person felt as their soul was slowly leaving their body. When the door fell closed behind Omkara, the silence that broke down on Rudra was crushing. He brought one hand to his still stinging cheek while the other was wrapped around his torso, and let out a shaking breath that sounded more like a sob.

"But I... really didn't do anything."

"I don't believe this."

Omkara chuckled quietly, the sound bitter and disgusting in his mouth. Tilting his head a little to the right, he stared at Shivaay who was sitting next to him on his bed and shaking his head in disbelief. "I couldn't either. Still can't. But everything's right in front of me."

"I don't know," Shivaay said hesitantly. "Doesn't make sense. Rudra's not like this, we know that."

Of course, Shivaay would want to find excuses for him. But it hadn't been Shivaay who had found their little brothers crumpled in some dirty ally in the middle of the night and who had heard the doctor announce that said brother had cocaine in his system. Had Shivaay been at home, last night, instead of his office, preparing for some meeting, then...

But he hadn't. Om had been the one to be around.

"He's immature," he said. "Who knows, some of his friends might have dared him to."

"And that's exactly the problem," Shivaay replied and pointed with his left forefinger at Om's chest. "You don't know what happened. Did you let him explain?"

Omkara pushed himself to his feet and crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't been able to calm down his anger, it was still burning as brightly as it had been in the hospital, and Shivaay was fueling it more and more. "What's there to explain, Shivaay?! What do his reasons matter?"

Shivaay had stood up, as well, and touched his shoulder in a soothing gesture. "A lot. We need to understand why he did it- what if he does it again?"

"He won't!" Om hissed through clenched teeth. He whirled around toward Shivaay, forcing the other to take a step back, and made sure to catch his gaze He barely noticed the surprise that flashed over Shivaay's features. "And if that's what he gets up to outside of home, he won't be leaving without anyone to watch over him."

"But-" Shivaay faltered, sighed and shrugged. The displeasure was palpable in each of his movements. "Still. You should have let him explain, Om. And you shouldn't have hit him," he added sharply.

For a split second, guilt trickled through the wall of fury inside of him - but it vanished as soon as it had appeared. "You would have done the same had you been in my place." And it had been an instinctive reaction. After staying up the whole night, spending hours at Rudra's bed, not getting the image of Rudra's bloody arms or his trembling body out of his mind, after being plagued by the past... it just boiled over when he had seen Rudra awake.

"Om-"

"No, stop, Shivaay," he said quickly. "Stop protecting him already! Do you understand what Rudra did?!"

Shivaay closed his mouth and lowered his eyes slightly though not fast enough to hide his own anger. It was then that Omkara noticed how stiff his brother was. His fingers were practically digging into the cloth of his pants, and his skin had turned worryingly pale shade. Of course. What had he thought? That Shivaay would have been totally unaffected by this? Obviously not, it had been a reason why he hadn't been able to bring himself to inform Shivaay earlier. If Omkara had been burnt by his history of drugs so had Shivaay been ripped apart by it, as well, and adding to that, Shivaay was even more overprotective of Rudra than he was - to a fault.

Wounds that were scratched open without warning and mercilessly so always hurt unbearably.

"You know, I should have slapped him more," he said, at last. "How dare he?! How dare that idiot even think about taking cocaine? How could he do that to us?"

"Cocaine?"

Om shared a surprised look with Shivaay before they both simultaneously turned toward the door to the room. When he recognized Soumya standing there, he let relief wash over him and sighed. Not Dadi or Mom.

"Soumya." He felt Shivaay's hand on his arm and this time, let it soothe the ache burning inside of him a little. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just..." Soumya pressed her lips into a thin line and let her gaze wander through the room as if she were looking for something. She was trembling a little and fiddling nervously with her fingers. "You said cocaine? Rudra-"

"That shouldn't be any of your concern," Shivaay interrupted her - more harshly than would have been warranted, probably.

"But he didn't!" Soumya objected, voice rising with each word. "It wasn't- they said it was harmless. I didn't know..."

What? What was she talking about? She knew about this? Om remembered how she had told him that she didn't know about Rudra's whereabouts and that Rudra had drunk too much. But the way she was talking now... had she lied to him to some extent?

Shivaay's grip around his arm tightened, almost painfully so but he ignored it, his whole focus on Soumya. "Wat are you saying?"

Soumya lifted her shoulders and dipped her chin as if she were trying to hide herself. "I-I, it was meant as a joke!"

Omkara's insides tightened uncomfortably as the implication slowly seeped in. "Joke?"

If possible, Soumya looked even smaller and she was shaking uncontrollably, by now. "They said it'd make him drunk quicker. He had no idea about it, it was meant as a prank. I didn't know it was... I had no idea!"

"Bhaiyya, please. I didn't do anything!"

He was going to be sick.

Part II