Crossing Limits. [TS|Obros|Rudra|RuMya] - completed: pg.11 - Page 6

Yes, I am updating - pretty quickly for me, tbh 😆 Personally, am not too sure what to think of this part. I am happy with it and yet, not completely. But then, if you keep re-writing and polishing something up non-stop, you won't ever finish and just mess it up 😕

Thanks for all your lovely comments! Sorry if I forgot to reply to any (don't think I did?).

Anyway, this part gets Shivaay-heavy 😆 Don't think any warning is required apart from the fact that I am sleep deprived and proofread and polished it in such a state.

"Enjoy" it! And Sue - that's your golden star 😉

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II.

"Om! Are you mad?!"

Shivaay grabbed Rudra's free arm to pull the boy against himself while he simultaneously ripped Om's hand, which had been clutching Rudra's wrist too tightly, away. Rudra immediately hugged his middle, buried his face in Shivaay's stomach and clung to him. He was trembling and probably also crying.

Om stared at him unimpressed as if he hadn't just been yelling. Shivaay glared though, it quickly turned into a troubled frown when he realized something: Omkara's pupils were dilated and practically black, there was the faintest of blushes dusking his cheeks and he was swaying ever so slightly.

"Are you drunk?!"

"Liquor of life," Om said, lips curling into a bitter smile, "makes you drunk easily."

"I am not in the mood for this," Shivaay hissed angrily. "Why were you shouting at Rudra like that?"

Omkara's glazed eyes lowered toward Rudra and Shivaay could have sworn that regret flared up in them for a moment. "He destroyed my sculptor." Instinctively, Shivaay's focus shifted toward the dusty mess at Om's feet. There were distinct pieces of ears, eyes and other chunks strewn around. "He needs to learn that not everything can go according to his whims and wishes!"

"You pushed me!" Rudra protested, his voice muffled against the cloth of Shivaay's shirt. "And I didn't do anything! You promised to have dinner with us!"

"Yes, and I asked him to get you." Shivaay had jumped at the opportunity of enjoying a meal with both his brothers. Ever since he had come back over his break, things had seemed... strange. Rudra had barely talked, at first, a fact that had scared him to death. Thankfully, the boy was slowly crawling out of his shell. But Om... Om was distant and bitter and Shivaay simply didn't understand it. This was not the brother he knew so well.

Om huffed and turned away from them. "Not in the mood. Leave me alone."

Oh, you don't. Shivaay gently detached himself from Rudra. When he caressed the boy's cheek, he mentally winced at the wetness of tears he could feel. How he hated it to see him cry. "Go ahead, I will be there in a minute." Rudra didn't even hesitate to leave the studio. Once he was gone, Shivaay walked over to where Om was standing at his working table- the fingers of his left hand were digging into the wooden surface.

"I already told you to leave me alone, Shivaay," he said without looking over.

"You shouldn't have let your frustration out on Rudra." Whatever that frustration was for. "You know how sensitive he is."

"Yes, of course, I know." Om glanced over his shoulder and there was so much bitterness in his features that it took Shivaay by complete surprise. "I was here." And you were not.

"O-"

"I'm going to bed," he cut him off, and Shivaay couldn't react fast enough to stop him from leaving.

His chest was painfully tight. It hurt. So much. He knew he had messed up a lot while going to Cambridge and remaining abroad even through some breaks but still... Omkara was right in front of him and yet, he was slipping through Shivaay's fingers without giving him a chance to hold on.

"Have you lost it?!"

Shivaay felt a spark of satisfaction flicker inside of him when Soumya flinched at his harsh tone but it vanished quickly, smothered by the heated fury rushing through his veins. He couldn't believe it. Yes, he had doubted it when Om told him about Rudra- damn, he knew that boy inside out and had been sure that Rudra wouldn't ever do drugs. But this? This was... unbelievable.

Even if he had been unwilling to accept what Om had told him, for a moment Shivaay had been pushed back into that endless, dark pit he had been lost in years ago. He had tasted failure in its most destructive form back then- failing in business Shivaay could bear. Falling in other people's eyes he could take. But miserably failing his brothers like this? It hurt more than any physical wound ever could.

Everyone praised him for how he had helped Omkara to come out of his addiction. His mother didn't tire of flaunting this one achievement, no matter how insensitive it was to do so. But did anyone ever ask how he felt about it? If they bothered to, he would tell them that there was nothing to be proud of. What others saw as a success was for him one of the greatest losses in life. Helping and supporting Om was self-evident, he hadn't done anyone a favor with that. Om was his brother, a part of his soul hence why the whole act itself had been rather selfish in its nature. The more important fact was that it had come to a point at which Omkara sought out drugs to flee from reality - and Shivaay had been unable to stop him. Hadn't even realized it in time.

He would never be able to completely forgive himself for that.

And now, the bone chilling shock that Rudra might have taken the same path. Rudra who was still a child at heart. Who, for all his playboy tendencies carried the purest of souls out of them all. Rudra whom Shivaay had made sure to keep happy and protected since childhood, refusing to let the dirt of the world taint him. Omkara's revelation had shattered his belief of having fulfilled his role- his confidence. But now... now there was only fury raging inside of him, slowly but surely clouding his mind.

His brother had been hurt.

"I-i-it was supposed to be a p-pr-prank," Soumya stammered. "I just wanted to... to teach him a lesson. I didn't know-"

"So, you what? Just mix something into his drink without his consent?" Shivaay hissed. The way she shrunk even further indicated that that was exactly what she had done. "Are you out of your mind?! Who does something this stupid?!"

"I didn't know it was-"

"How does that make it any better?!"

Soumya jerked back as if he had hit her, eyes opened widely and filled with tears. Maybe Shivaay was being too harsh, maybe he should let her explain - but he couldn't. A prank? Seriously? Whether she had known what it was that she was spiking Rudra's drink with or not, this was just cheap. Disgusting. How dare she?

"Your intention was harming him, wasn't it?" he growled and took, unconsciously, a step forward. "This is just- immaturity has its limits! That's pathetic. You are a guest in our home, our family accepted you with open arms and still-"

"Shivaay."

He bit down on his tongue in order to suffocate the word flow that he was sure would turn more and more vicious if he kept going, and turned toward Omkara. In his rage, Shivaay had completely forgotten that Om was here, as well. And he was shaking, his fists clenched so tightly that the knuckles had turned white. Anger, Shivaay realized. No. This was so much more than simply that.

"I asked you," Om whispered slowly, gaze focused on Soumya without blinking. "And you lied to me."

"Bade b-ba-baal wale Bhaiy-"

"Don't call me that!"

Even Shivaay startled at the thunderous voice though, not completely surprised. Angering Om wasn't an easy task for most but when you managed it... God help you. Shivaay watched as Omkara approached Soumya in quick strides. Soumya, though clearly shocked, didn't move an inch, rooted to the spot.

"Don't call me that, alright?" Om hissed and raised his forefinger warningly at her. "I let you tie rakhi to me, a promise to protect you - yet, you harmed the one person who... who has the first and most right to this promise. You harmed my brother!"

Shivaay felt his heart ache as the anguish in each and every of Om's words washed over him, as well. It was so palpable it could have been his own. And there was definitely more- Shivaay could see very clearly how Omkara was trying to control himself, how this display was nothing but a surface being breached. Om was slipping - and Shivaay, himself, was losing his footing. Though, whose maelstrom of emotions was it that was trying to pull him in and drown him? His own or Om's? Both?

"Pranks, jokes." Om stretched out his hands and shook them as if he was trying to grasp something that wasn't there. "Have limits. Giving someone any kind of drug," he spat out the term like poison, "without their knowledge, no matter how harmless you thought it was, is disgusting and not at all funny. Anything could have happened to my brother- do you understand that?"

Shivaay barely noticed how Soumya was crying by now when a thought, sudden and sobering, jolted through him. Brother. Rudra had been in the hospital because of the whole ordeal. Had been under the influence of a drug without knowing it, even harmed himself. And Om had... Shit.

"And I have..." Omkara suddenly whispered, so quietly that Shivaay wasn't sure whether he truly had or not. "Oh, God."

Rudra.

He sensed it with every fiber of his being- when a button was switched on inside of him, his attention zeroing in on that one fact that his baby brother needed him, everything else faded into the background. Shivaay didn't even fully register that he was rushing out of the room, that Om was right next to him, that Soumya had been forgotten for the moment.

"If you brought him home why the wuck isn't he at home?!"

Omkara didn't even blink when the noise of a shattering mobile phone echoed through the hallway. He removed his own phone from his ear and stared at it, for the first time feeling the temptation to break it, as well.

"I can't believe these morons! How can they not know where he is?!"

He was barely listening, his mind too occupied by a whirlwind of scattered thoughts. Omkara still felt sick to the stomach and the longer it took them to find Rudra the more the queasiness grew. Everything had been cleared yet, he couldn't fully grasp what Soumya - sweet, innocent seeming Soumya - had done to his brother. Even remembering her lousy explanations was enough to have bile rise in his throat. Granted, Rudra was an idiot and insensitive, at times, but how could anyone not see the purity inside of him? How could anyone want to harm him?

But more importantly, how could I have-?

"How could you have left him on his own?!"

Om closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep, shaky breath. He had been wondering how long it would take Shivaay to explode at him, too. It was justified, he had, after all, messed up. Yet, Shivaay wasn't going to throw anything at him that his own conscious hadn't already done. And time that was wasted with fighting could be better spent with searching for their brother.

"You should have listened to him first!"

"I know!" He whirled around abruptly, one hand clinging to the banister of the stairs behind him while the other had found its way into his hair. "I know, okay? I just- I-"

The image of Rudra's bloody arms, his shaking body and the sickly paleness of his skin flickered in front of him. Soumya's confession- that it had been a prank. Unintentional. The hospital- when he had walked in, Rudra had seemed so lost. The hurt that had flared up in his features when Om had slapped him, and deepened with each word thrown at him.

"Bhaiyya, please. I didn't do anything!"

"I-i-it was supposed to be a p-pr-prank."

"I think something's crawled under my skin. And it's moving. It doesn't stop! And it's eww. Make it stop. Make them all stop!"

Om couldn't hold it back, anymore. He ran as fast as he could, shouldering past Shivaay and toward the first bedroom that he saw. Every bedroom had an adjusted bathroom and without pausing he rushed into it, noting in the back of his mind that this was Shivaay's, and found himself seconds later bent over the toilet and retching.

"Om!"

When he felt Shivaay's hands on his shoulder he shrugged them away and shook his head. It was impossible for him to get rid of those images, those words. They taunted him. Mocked him.

Lids pressed closed tightly, he tried to catch his breath and suppressed the urge to retch again as the filthy stench of his vomit reached his nose. Shit. He pushed himself away from the toilet seat and struggled to his feet, refusing Shivaay's help when he reached out for him, and blindly felt his way toward the basin. He rinsed his mouth with cold water and splashed the same repeatedly on his face but- the disgusting taste still lingered on his tongue and heat was consuming him more and more instead of reducing.

"Om, that's enough!"

Om was forcefully pulled away by the elbow and shortly after, the water rush stopped. He blinked away droplets from his lashes which were blurring his vision. His limbs were shaking uncontrollably and there didn't seem to be enough air to fill his lungs with.

Shivaay grabbed his shoulders roughly and turned him around to face his brother's furious glare. Furious yet, the man was unable to conceal his concern. "You need to get a grip over yourself!"

I know! But what was he supposed to do? God dammit, his baby brother had been on drugs, cocaine, for the first time and that, too, without knowing it. It was an incredible feeling even when you were aware what you were doing; nothing could prepare you for it - or the terrible aftermath. And Rudra had gone through it all by himself and instead of comforting him when he should have... What was wrong with him?

"Easier said than done," he huffed, mentally grateful that his voice remained steady even if scratchy, at the very least. "The things I said to him. And I- I hit him, for God's sake!" Om stared down at his shaking hands and grimaced in disgust. "I hit him, Shivaay," he repeated lowly. "Not in jest but for real."

And now, they had no idea where Rudra was. What if something had happened to him? What if he in his anger, had done something stupid? This hadn't been a simple scolding, after all. Omkara had lashed out at him and harshly so... something he thought he had left behind years ago.

"But the doctor told me about the drug," he continued to explain, to make sense of his own actions. "And... you should have seen him!" Shivaay flinched at this, barely noticeable but since they were so close Om saw it. "I lost it. I was scared and angry and disappointed... and stupid." He should have listened. Why hadn't he?

Shivaay sighed, stepped back and put both his hands on his hips. "Let's find him, first, okay?" I can't deal with this, too. Even without him saying it out aloud, it was clear that Shivaay couldn't and wouldn't talk about this. Not at this very moment. "He's probably very upset, right now. And you know how he is when he is-" Shivaay halted abruptly. There was a crinkle between his eyebrows as if he was calculating something. "Upset. I think... I think I know where he is."

Om's heart skipped a beat. "Where?"

"I don't think he's gone out," Shivaay said. "Someone would have noticed. Do you remember what he used to do when he was a kid? When he'd be extremely upset over something."

Oh. Of course. It was so obvious, all of a sudden! "The guest rooms." But if he was indeed there and upset with one of them, Omkara in this case, then he clearly didn't want to talk. As the realization hit him Om felt his insides tighten with dread.

Shivaay was observing him closely and the glint in his eyes told him that his brother was aware of what was going through his head. "I would've wanted to talk to him alone, first, anyway."

It wasn't really unexpected, definitely not unreasonable, and still, Om couldn't help but feel a nasty twinge in his chest. "Why? Because you want to mellow him down or because you don't trust me with him?" He had no idea where these words came from, was as surprised as Shivaay upon hearing them.

And for a heartbeat, it was as if they had dipped into the nasty past and slipped into their younger personas - which were filled with bitterness and pain and resentment. It had been ugly.

"What rubbish," Shivaay grunted. "You need to get a grip on yourself before you do anything. Let's not rush anything."

Om knew defeat when he faced it.

"I knew I'd find you here."

Rudra froze, heart stopping for a split second. Though, as he heard steps coming closer from behind, he quickly wiped the backs of his hands over his face. It was and wouldn't help much as his vision was still blurred by tears... How had his Bhaiyya found him this soon? Yes, he had expected them to eventually figure out where he was but thought it would take them time- time he badly needed to get a grip on his emotions.

"When you used to be extremely upset and didn't want any of us to talk to you, you'd hide away in one of the guest rooms." Shivaay huffed in amusement. "Because no one ever bothered to come over here."

It had been a good hiding spot especially when none of his brothers were at home but their parents and their ugly fights were. He would spend hours in here without anyone noticing his absence until Shivaay or Omkara returned and fetched him. Although, he was not very fond of silence- being quiet, being still, just waiting- this had been like a separate world within their mansion where no tension, no arguments, no harsh words ever reached him.

And it turned into a symbol of sorts.

Shivaay sat down next to him and leaned back against the bed, as well. "So, I assume you are not in the mood to talk."

Instinctively, Rudra moved his arms under his thighs, a poor attempt to hide the bandages, and turned his head further away. Had O told their brother what had happened in the hospital? Was Shivaay Bhaiyya here to scold him, too? His throat tightened as the mere thought flickered through his mind.

There was a low, resigned sigh before he felt fingers close around his right arm and gently prying it out. Rudra didn't even bother to resist though, there were too many nerves flaring up in the pit his stomach making him feel sick. Shivaay caressed the area that was covered in white, so gently as if he feared that applying the smallest of pressures might hurt.

"Om told me what happened."

"Don't lie to me!"

"You're immature. You're childish. But I never knew that you really didn't care that much about Shivaay and me."

"You know what? I can't deal with this, right now."

There wasn't enough oxygen to fill his burning lungs, anymore. Subconsciously, he touched his throat and started to lightly scrape his fingers over it as he gasped for air. His cheek prickled with the aftermath of a pain that had nestled itself more within his heart, by now. Like a disease that was slowly spreading through every cell.

"Woah, there! Calm down! Rudra!"

His brother shook him which made him focus his blurred gaze on him. He reached out and buried his fingers into Shivaay's shirt.

"B-bh-bhaiyya," he rasped with effort. He was unable to breath in enough air and each letter he forced over his tongue was a needle pricking its way out of his throat. "I-I didn't do anything!"

"Ru- Rudra!"

"I re-rea-really didn't! Please listen to me!"

"Yes, I kn-"

"I don't... don't know what ha-happened. I just-"

"Rudra!" Loud and booming and authoritative Shivaay's voice cut through his rambling. "Shh."

Shivaay wasn't truly shouting at him, Rudra realized, suddenly. Instead, he was holding his face with both hands in a gentle grip and was running both his thumbs over the cheekbones in a soothing gesture. No anger was reflected in Shivaay's features. No disappointment. No accusation. Why?

"It's okay, see?" Shivaay brushed his palm over Rudra's forehead, cleared his throat and added, whispering, "You're fine. I know you didn't do anything."

Rudra blinked. "You do?"

His brother opened his mouth, moved it a few times but no sound left it. Instead, Rudra found himself pulled into a tight embrace - sudden and surprising but very welcome. Without hesitation he clung to Shivaay and allowed himself to let go, have his pain pour out of him and be shared with his Bhaiyya. He didn't try to control the tears, let them flow freely as he rested his still tinging cheek on Shivaay's shoulder.

"Yes, I do," Shivaay whispered into his hair. "Someone probably mixed the drug into your drink."

He had figured as much. After all, the cocaine had had to come from somewhere, hadn't it? And since he most certainly was not into drugs someone else had to have slipped it into his drinks. Why anyone would do such a thing though was beyond him - and if he were completely honest, he didn't care much. An outsider was an outsider, the real pain inflicted was always from those closest to you.

"Om knows that, too."

Immediately, Rudra stiffened.

Shivaay's fingers were running up and down between his shoulder blades. "Look, I know he messed up. He was wrong, he should have let you speak. But you know how he gets when he isreally upset."

Oh, he did. Probably better than most.

During the time Om had fallen into drug addiction, he had been easily irritable and got angry over the smallest of things. Not that Rudra had understood what was going on, back then. Yet, despite all of this, O had always cared. Felt terrible for harsh words, made up for broken promises, apologized in the mantle of the night. And then, there had been a time where O hadn't cared, at all.

Sometimes, Rudra believed that those blurry memories were nothing but a fragment of his overactive mind. But memories which were rooted so deeply within him that the breaching of even the fuzziest one of them left him shaken for days could not be his mere imagination. The one thing he could clearly grasp from those pieces, though, was the coldness in O's eyes. Indifferent coldness. It was never there when he woke up from a bad dream but the fear that O's warmness could be swallowed by whatever darkness was lurking inside of him was always present within Rudra's heart.

He had been scared that he had just seen a glimpse of it in the hospital.

All of this and so much more he wanted to tell his Bhaiyya but what came out was, "He hit me."

Shivaay's grip around him tightened almost painfully. "He is an idiot but..." He hesitated before saying, "It's because he loves you that he lost it like this."

Love, huh. Rudra bit down on his lower lip, refusing to say another word. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. It hurt and he was tied of being hurt. What he really wanted to do was lie down and sleep and not think about any of this.

"What are you planning?"

Shivaay looked up from his phone, a frown marring his forehead. "What?"

Om indicated toward the device in his brother's hand. "You said to make arrangements for her. And you have this... weird look on you."

Shivaay leaned sideways against the doorframe and shrugged. "Well, I don't think Soumya should be living here, anymore. I don't want her anywhere near Rudra."

Of course. A sentiment Omkara understood very well. He hadn't seen Soumya ever since her confession a few hours ago and was grateful for that because he had no idea what he would do, otherwise. It was impossible to look at her and not remember the miserable state he had found his brother in - and resent the girl for it.

"What are we going to tell Dadi?"

"The truth if we have to," Shivaay replied without hesitation. "But let's think about that when we have to. That's not the reason you're here."

"Obviously," he muttered under his breath.

Shivaay simply raised an eyebrow but didn't prod more and just pushed himself away from the door and past Omkara. "I have something to take care of, anyway. He's asleep."

He halted but before he could have added anything Om asked, "Did you tell him what happened?"

Behind him he could hear Shivaay hum. "Why does he need to know? I'll take care of it."

"Really?" Om huffed and glanced over his shoulder at Shivaay's back. "You think he doesn't need to know who did this to him?"

"I am not going to argue over this," Shivaay growled, let the words linger between them and resumed walking. "Don't... don't wake him up. I don't think he's in the condition to, you know? See you."

Instinctively, Omkara clenched his hands into fists and pressed them tightly against his thighs. Itwasn't Shivaay's fault. He should have had controlled himself better especially since he knew how sensitive Rudra was to these kind of situations. But what the mind could rationalize the heart didn't always fully get.

He waited until Shivaay's steps subsided before entering the room. It wasn't exactly dark but dimmed due to the curtains being closed and the sun's rays mostly kept out. Rudra was sprawled on Shivaay's bed, fast asleep: lying on his side, knees pulled up to his stomach and blanked clutched to his chest. Omkara carefully walked closer until he could kneel on the floor next to the bed and look up into Rudra's peaceful face. Well... peaceful was a very generous description. His features were contorted into a grimace as if he was in extreme pain. And those were definitely dried tear marks on his cheeks, he could see that even in this light.

Without thinking Om reached out and pressed the tips of his fingers against Rudra's forehead and started to move them from one side to another, slowly and gently. He watched with fascination how the troubled lines decreased the longer he kept up his motions, and felt warmth seep through him. At least asleep Rudra couldn't reject him.

"I am really sorry," he whispered into the silence. His own eyes were burning traitorously and there was a heavy weight pressing down on his chest, suffocating. Placing his palm flat against Rudra's temple, he leant forward and let their foreheads touch. "So very sorry."

"You're still up."

"And you don't sound the least surprised."

"I know you," Shivaay murmured without looking up from the screen of his mobile phone. Though, he did glance toward Omkara as he slipped into the bed on the other side, careful not to move too much. It was dark hence, why he couldn't make out anything apart from Om's contours but he noticed that his brother had thrown an arm over a sleeping Rudra and buried his face into Rudra's hair.

Shivaay had thought it would take a lot of coaxing and persuading before Om would willingly do anything with them. Especially after how upset the guy had been earlier, Shivaay hadn't expected to see him before breakfast. Yet, here he was, slipping into bed with them like a mischievous kid coming back after having played a prank. That was Shivaay's Omkara. Not the bitter person he had met, today.

"I'm really sorry," Om whispered into the silence. "I was a douche."

The corners of his mouth lifted up and formed a half-smile. "Indeed, you were."

A sigh, then, "I'll make it up."

"I know," Shivaay smiled.

He just hoped that there would never come a time where Om's making-up attempts would not be enough.