Aditi, what an utterly beautiful chapter this was - is, still in continuation - I re-read 25 and then this in a go to keep the link, and quite a few thoughts occurred. Like the fact, that whether or not Gulaal would have recognized and acknowledged the love, a third person could really not have stood a chance between these two, ever. Even if Kesar forever remained the Kesar he was in show a decade later, the angry vengeful hurting Kesar with interludes of confusion and remorse; and even if Gulaal had always remained the self-shackled woman - if neither of them had found circumstance or compulsion to evolve into a realization about their respective feelings, ever, STILL no one could have stood a chance between them. They might have never had their own happy ending, but irrespective of that, what they had - by virtue of hate, remorse, a history, a pain, a loss - was just beyond a the grasp of any other third person, and anyone trying to invade and get between them would have ended up hurting themselves without being at any intentional fault.
Wow so beautifully put, I think apart from history, pain, loss, hate and remorse what they shared was their unconditional and complete devotion to Vasant, for Kesar, Gulaal was someone his brother trusted to find that elusive elixir so inspite of initial reservations, he is quick into acceptance of her as their answer to village's troubles, slowly drawing into her charms and warmth...finally accepting her as worthy of sharing his Vasantbha affections with...she is someone who is revered cause she brings in that joy, that happiness, that fulfilment in his VasnatBha life and as such she is worthy of his affection as well... basically this never change...his love and respect for Gulaal only intensified with the knowledge of her total devotion to Vasant even after his death...sorry for the blabbering...
They are soulmates, with no strings attached. Not even the condition of a happy ending.
Yes in the true sense of the word, with each committed and devoted to the cause they believed in...
Kudos for bringing out this logic in Sudha as well. When you put it like you do, it makes all the sense. Just like Sudha from the show who on account of her own unhappy life wanted the world for Talli and was willing to fight everyone and everything for it - this Sudha on account of her own life of an unrequited relationship KNOWS the misery of such an existence enough to not let Talli suffer it. The same character, with two alternate approaches, and you realize what the glass being half full or empty is about!
Just another way of looking at things, Sudha who's only happiness in life comes from Talli and would never ever want her to lead the life she did-does and that's why when she "sees" something that was going to condemn Talli to similar existence, she's the one trying to reason out with her daughter about trying to chase a mirage
And reading Gulaal's monologue in this chapter - specially the final bit where she mentions the diary, put me in such a vulnerable reader spot feeling for her character. You could think pragmatically about the matter and wonder why that same diary was her only means to converse with Vasant, why she couldn't just pick up another empty book and fill its pages with her confessions - but then you think about what Gulaal feels. By virtue of having been her confidante all these years, that diary gave her the courage to continue to be candid - with herself - while living with the conviction that she was opening her heart to Vasant. And no other diary would become that tool again. Any other diary could be like a fresh start, which would imply some kind of denial in her part. Ridiculous as it seems, there's something about keeping a journal, where you're got a keeper of your secrets, that inanimate or not, is privy to your innermost musing. And changing a confidante is always a liberty of adjusting details for a fresh beginning. You know a fresh start doesn't mean the past has been cleared, really, but it still lets you live with a new conviction and fresh notions. And that is more times escapism, than getting over things. Letting go in a true sense is learning to live with a past without its interfering with your present, not tailor fitting it to your present.
Again beautifully worded, For Gulaal that diary is reflection of her "antar aatma" ,her inner soul, she could in her mind only bear this in front of Vasant, In years that she had been pouring her heart out.it had become a living being, hidden between those pages was the real Gulaal who would detail about Kesar's each and every achievement, error, mischief, talk, requirements, gesture along with her sacrifices,pain,grief,sorrow,happiness,joy,wants,needs,complaints,anger here was the testimony to who she really was, her true identity that she had to keep it in veil as the Gulaal that existed outside this world had promises and responsibilities to keep...
So when she talks about him taking away the diary,it not a book or journal that he has taken...he took part of her,that she only revealed in front of her Vasant,he took her reflection to her soul,her world where she could be herself ...
She is not complaining about it either,cause he was the only one who could have taken it,she knows this and also from the knowledge arises a need to explain why...the Gulaal he loves after reading that diary is not the same Gulaal he sees in front of him...and then ofcourse it's up to Kesar to bring these two Gulaal together...I hope I made sense...
And finally - boy, this comment got SO LONG - the lines which came to my mind as soon as I read the byline for this chapter -
dekho chod ke kis raste woh jaate hain
saare raste waapas mere dil ko aate hain...
Such a beautiful song, Thanks for your lovely comments Jzee,It means a lot,Hope the chapter even after completion retains it's charm and readability
Edited by enchanted23 - 12 years ago
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