If Virat was.... - Page 2

Originally posted by: jankiraghav

It is a very valid post and yes, it is definitely a case of making sexual advances but two things are missing to classify it as 'harassment' -- a) explicitly saying "no" and setting boundaries; b) ceasing actions that can be misinterpreted as consent or encouragement.

I agree clear "no" is necessary, but had it been Sai and Samrat or Mohit was doing this to her and she wasn't able to say clear " no" because earlier she had given stupid "vada" would be still hold her on that?

Also, IPS officer or not, the unfortunate truth is that there is no law which recognises males as victims of female perpetrators. There is a law to protect men from sexual harassment from other men, but not women. It is actually appalling that men cannot take help from law in most cases where the harasser is a woman because by nature, law sides with women in cases of sexual offences even to date. India's rape laws are based on biological science and so they do not consider that women can rape/molest men because they are not "physically designed" to rape

I held myself back from opening this topic because extreme number of rape cases in India, let alone world. I know girls suffer so much, so being a women I was reluctant, but then I thought why hold back?

So, men in India (and the world in general) have to deal with such indecent advances in their own way and many women end up taking advantage of that fact. The movie Aitraaz (2005) had very beautifully raised this issue but very little has changed on the ground. There are committees in most workplaces to protect employees from sexual harassment and they are meant to be gender-neutral but men hardly ever report sexual harassment at the hands of a woman for the fear of being blamed in return.

It is easier for women to report sexual harassment where they can find the courage to do so but for men, it is a dead-end and left totally to their own skills to deal with it unless the woman ends up committing a crime in her obsession-- assault, attempt to murder or something else where the law agrees that a woman can commit that crime. But attempt to rape: no.

Just like your example, I also have one to cite: It was a real case in 2017, where a man was stalked, sexually harassed and threatened to be booked in a case of abetment to suicide by a jilted lover (also a 'relative', as in the case of this show) but he could not register a case because there is really no legal recourse in such cases -- not a simple case of "stalking" because the law only defines every act in this regard with words "when a woman" and "by a man". So, the law has actually already decided that the accused will be a man and the victim will be a woman only.

So sad to hear!! I wish laws are more drafted against crime rather than gender!

The serials obviously do not send across a gender-neutral message because our entire moral fabric refuses to believe that "holy women" can have desires of sexually exploiting a man 🤔 This is exactly why I also had an issue with Virat's bhashan to the romeo yesterday where he said "Ladki ki na mein haan mat dhoondh... Ladki ki na, na hi hoti hai, usko haan bolna hoga toh wo haan hi kahegi."

My question was why should a ladka's Na not be taken as a Na by the woman? But when there is no fear of law and the society would by and large blame a man than a woman in such a case, it is an easy escape.

I remember it from your write up and admired it! I also wanted to reply on that, but forgot later. I am glad you caught it even in Virat's speech!!

Absolutely. This is harassment. Reminding him again n again the promise.

Bang on!!

I havw been thinking about this only.... What if genders were reversed?.... What if its a man eyeing his wife's sister the way pakhi is doing to virat?... Trying to get close to her at every possible opportunity, belittling her husband, trying to get her on a trip alone... If a man does these things to a woman, it would surely be considered as harassment... Audience would have reacted and even file complaint against show promoting sexual harassment.... Just because a woman is doing this doesn't make it ok..... Virat is not comfortable with her advances, then how is it ok? ... Some people can be seen defending pakhi's lust as well on social media.

Valid questions dear!

Everytime I think this the lowest this woman can stoop, she raises the bar higher!

As Janki di said it's clearly trying to make sexual advances (even if in PP's mind she's just asking as a 'BFF' to share a bag it's quite weird, coz who on earth does that?! I would never even think of sharing a bag with a female best friend too for that matter). But it does not particularly qualify to be sexual harrassment at the moment.. yes it is an ingredient and can quantify to be harrassment coupled with if some other advances that she makes in the future.

Janki di also very well explained the legal aspects of it.

However, for any act to qualify to be sexual harrassment, it is also very important as to how the victim perceives it to be.. whether Virat would be "clearly" uncomfortable with her advances.. and indicate her the same or not, afterall, he only said yesterday, "no means no". But the point is that he needs to explicitly convey that NO. Coz his vahini is clearly not capable of understanding the implied "no" that he keeps on throwing, nor that expressly saying it would have a major effect on her, but still.

I know even as just viewers we are appalled by her advances.. it is certainly much more uncomfortable for the person in Virat's position. The woman is becoming downright cheap and has no redemption for her behaviour. Going by the precap, I think virat too was uncomfortable with her suggestion, but obviously he'll again find a diplomatic way to refuse her. And I don't think that will be enough to deter her from her motives.

I even doubt that virat even reads or thinks of these advances that she's making like we understand them to be, he'll again brush it on the pretext of being a best friend's caring gesture.. or maybe think that she's too stressed for samrat. The man is also beyond my understanding, I just can't make what he thinks.

Originally posted by: jankiraghav

It is a very valid post and yes, it is definitely a case of making sexual advances but two things are missing to classify it as 'harassment' -- a) explicitly saying "no" and setting boundaries; b) ceasing actions that can be misinterpreted as consent or encouragement.

Also, IPS officer or not, the unfortunate truth is that there is no law which recognises males as victims of female perpetrators. There is a law to protect men from sexual harassment from other men, but not women. It is actually appalling that men cannot take help from law in most cases where the harasser is a woman because by nature, law sides with women in cases of sexual offences even to date. India's rape laws are based on biological science and so they do not consider that women can rape/molest men because they are not "physically designed" to rape

So, men in India (and the world in general) have to deal with such indecent advances in their own way and many women end up taking advantage of that fact. The movie Aitraaz (2005) had very beautifully raised this issue but very little has changed on the ground. There are committees in most workplaces to protect employees from sexual harassment and they are meant to be gender-neutral but men hardly ever report sexual harassment at the hands of a woman for the fear of being blamed in return.

It is easier for women to report sexual harassment where they can find the courage to do so but for men, it is a dead-end and left totally to their own skills to deal with it unless the woman ends up committing a crime in her obsession-- assault, attempt to murder or something else where the law agrees that a woman can commit that crime. But attempt to rape: no.

Just like your example, I also have one to cite: It was a real case in 2017, where a man was stalked, sexually harassed and threatened to be booked in a case of abetment to suicide by a jilted lover (also a 'relative', as in the case of this show) but he could not register a case because there is really no legal recourse in such cases -- not a simple case of "stalking" because the law only defines every act in this regard with words "when a woman" and "by a man". So, the law has actually already decided that the accused will be a man and the victim will be a woman only.

The serials obviously do not send across a gender-neutral message because our entire moral fabric refuses to believe that "holy women" can have desires of sexually exploiting a man 🤔 This is exactly why I also had an issue with Virat's bhashan to the romeo yesterday where he said "Ladki ki na mein haan mat dhoondh... Ladki ki na, na hi hoti hai, usko haan bolna hoga toh wo haan hi kahegi."

My question was why should a ladka's Na not be taken as a Na by the woman? But when there is no fear of law and the society would by and large blame a man than a woman in such a case, it is an easy escape.

Usage Date rape drugs are common in itv shows... Many shows have vamps doing it to ml's and getting away with it... In fact is always the men who feels guilty of cheating their respective partners after getting raped.... Its always shown as if these men were weak to fall into such trap😔

Originally posted by: VioletOrchid123

Bang on!!

I havw been thinking about this only.... What if genders were reversed?.... What if its a man eyeing his wife's sister the way pakhi is doing to virat?... Trying to get close to her at every possible opportunity, belittling her husband, trying to get her on a trip alone... If a man does these things to a woman, it would surely be considered as harassment... Audience would have reacted and even file complaint against show promoting sexual harassment.... Just because a woman is doing this doesn't make it ok..... Virat is not comfortable with her advances, then how is it ok? ... Some people can be seen defending pakhi's lust as well on social media.

Such a great parallel drawn!!

Right

...we can't as of now outright tell it as sexual harassment or lust from pakhi's side...but she has been always crossing her boundaries and none of the family members nor virat has been able to show her the place..

If it is beyond limit..then pakhi too deserves the same treatment like that of a male gets..

Originally posted by: Fruitcustard_9

Ye humari ki society ki galat soch hain ki sirf women ke saath hota mens ke saath kuch galat nhi hota .

Agar ek aurat ek admi ko thappad mar de to hum kahenge zarur us aadmi ne kuch galat kiya hoga par agar ek aadmi kissi aur ko thappad mar de to hum kahenge bada hi badtameez aadmi hain. No koi bhi kahe be it a woman or a man , it's meaning is always no only .

Issi soch ke chalte males samane nhi aate kyunki unhe pata hain only they will accused or made fun off.

Virat had rejected pakhi every time , he never said we still have hope or we will have ema or pakhi ko har bar message pahucha bhi hain phir bhi she dont mend her ways .

Virat ke pass ek his best option baaki to slap pakhi hard on her face but then people will start critizing virat that he slapped a woman .

If a person is too adamant of not waking up or open ur her eyes then only a slap can make her open her eyes & see d reality .

I don't how is pakhi different from jagtap.

Totally agree. In tv or film industry if it has show that women harass men or one men physically harass another man it presented as funny way which is totally wrong

Originally posted by: Fruitcustard_9

Ye humari ki society ki galat soch hain ki sirf women ke saath hota mens ke saath kuch galat nhi hota .

Agar ek aurat ek admi ko thappad mar de to hum kahenge zarur us aadmi ne kuch galat kiya hoga par agar ek aadmi kissi aur ko thappad mar de to hum kahenge bada hi badtameez aadmi hain. No koi bhi kahe be it a woman or a man , it's meaning is always no only .

Issi soch ke chalte males samane nhi aate kyunki unhe pata hain only they will accused or made fun off.

Virat had rejected pakhi every time , he never said we still have hope or we will have ema or pakhi ko har bar message pahucha bhi hain phir bhi she dont mend her ways .

Virat ke pass ek his best option baaki to slap pakhi hard on her face but then people will start critizing virat that he slapped a woman .

If a person is too adamant of not waking up or open ur her eyes then only a slap can make her open her eyes & see d reality .

I don't how is pakhi different from jagtap.

Papi is another version of Jagtab. She's mentally sick. She's turning worse day by day. Whatever you said is right. We all think only girls or women go through sexual harassment, but even men face too. But, noone comes to know about men. Here, Virat is facing the same situation. She's pathetic.