Distorted Lives..... FOUW...Link to Thread 2 Updtd - Page 90

Geet was silent for almost the entire evening. It was not difficult to guess why. Confronting past is never really easy. Yet within him, Maan could find an inexcapable urge to get rid of that frown from her face. It was such a strong emotion that Maan himself was afraid by its intensity. Trying to avoid his own thoughts he started conversation with Geet.

"Geet, are you all right?"

The question was lame even to Maan himself. Geet definitely wasn't all right. It was a definitely uncomfortable pause and it felt to Maan that Geet won't start talking anytime soon.

But then Geet looked up at him. Her eyes showed the desperation of a dying woman.

"I don't know if all right the term is for me Maan. It is as if once again I am back to that night of the pub. I am once again at a juncture in life where I feel everything is just lie. But I can't be that woman who went to that pub. Because I am a single mother to a six year old kid. I can't afford to drown my sorrow in alcohol or have one night stand to forget my pain. I can't be irresponsible anymore."

Maan was quite. It was strange Maan couldn't term that night with Geet as a one night stand anymore. If Maan hadn't met Geet again then things would have been different. But this second time round things are different. They both know that they have a connection. However Geet is not ready for something more and Maan is not so sure if she would ever be ready for it. However he can be a friend to her, right?

Composing his thoughts Maan began talking.

"Geet, I won't even begin to understand what you are going through. Yes I had a divorce and Sam and my marriage had turned pretty sour towards the end but we didn't have a messy divorce inspite of all that. You lost a lifetime of relationships with this divorce. I don't think I know how much that pains. But what I do know is that you are a strong woman Geet and you will get over it. Not now and definitely not anytime soon. But I promise you this much Geet that one day you will look back to this day and feel no pain. Someday you will be whole again."

Somehow the way Maan said it with so much hope and conviction that Geet couldn't help but fall into his arms and cry. Maan held her trying to offer her the comfort she needed.

It was after some time that Geet composed herself enough to let go of him. They slowly let go of each other. It was so awkward suddenly and both didn't know where to look. Geet cleared her throat abit unnecessariy.

"I'll go check on muskaan."

"Hmm."

Geet spent the rest of the evening playing with muskaan before making her eat and put her down for sleep. She was restless. It was cold but she took a shower to settle the lost feeling of her heart. Watching muskaan sleep was not as peaceful as she thought it used to be. It added to the fact that in all this mess it is her baby girl who will suffer the most and that also at such tender age.

Suddenly she got a call. It was Maan calling. It was strange that Maan is calling her up so late.

"Hey Maan!"

"Come to my room Geet."

"Muskaan is sleeping alone Maan."

"I need to talk to you Geet. Just come."

He cut the connection off. It was weird but Geet was intigruied. His voice sounded like he was serious.

Once Geet knocked his door he opened it and invited her in. On the coffee table were a bottle of vodka and few beer bottles. Geet looked at him questioningly. He held her by shoulder and said looking into her eyes,"You wanted to forget your pain. You wanted to be that girl in that pub. Here are all the things you need. Be that girl. "

"Muskaan..."

"Muskaan is sleeping Geet and she sleeps through the night."

"I don't want to have another one night stand Maan. We...whatever we have is already complex enough without me adding another one night stand in midsts of it. "

Maan held her tighter and closer inches apart and looked into her eyes.

"Do you trust me Geet?"

Geet was silent looking onto him.

"Do you trust me Geet?"

She nodded not able to answer.

"Then I promise Geet. I won't let you do anything you don't want to do. I would even check on muskaan from time to time. You have to be a mother for lifetime. I want you to be that girl one more time. I promise not to have sex with you even if you force me but just for this night forget everything. You be that irrational impulsive one again, let me handle the rationality for tonight."

Something about the talk made Geet wish to do it but she needed a little bit of reassurance.

"You promise you wouldn't let me...us?"

"I promise Geet. I won't sleep with you tonight. I won't touch a drop of alcohol so I don't lose myself."

"You promise you would take care of Muskaan?"

"Absolutely."

Geet picked up a beer bottle and started drinking. Geet wasn't really a fan of beer but she wanted to start with something with much less alcohol in it.

Maan watched her silently. Suddenly Geet looked up at him and said softly," Sameera is one lucky girl Maan."

"How can you say that Geet? I cheated on her even if it was just once. I couldn't find it in me to forgive her for the abortion. How can you say that she is lucky?"

Geet smiled. Maan was so clueless about his self worth. Geet has seen how real asshole husbands behave and Maan wasn't one of them.

"The fact that you acknowledge your mistake in all this makes you a better man than many. You should have listened to how that...that bas***d spoke about our ten years relationship. And that's when I realized Maan that I wasted away ten years of my life with that man. That hurts. Someone who means so much to you and you mean absolutely nothing to them...absolutely nothing..."

"It's his loss Geet. You are worth so much more sweetheart. He was a wrong guy Geet."

"Maybe there is something wrong with me. My mom didn't love me. For a long time I believed Brij veerji doesn't love me. Yash bhai loved me and look where that got him. What Dev and Meera did to me was so much wrong in so many levels. Maybe I am the unlucky one. May be I am cursed or something..."

Geet's heart breaking sob were too much for Maan to bear. He held her in his arms and called her softly,"Geet..."

Geet was however too deep into her despair to listen to him. Maan jerked her a bit forcefully making her look up. Looking straight into her eyes Maan spoke in a determined voice.

"Listen to me Miss Geet Handa and listen well. You are not cursed. Brij thinks the world of you. I have known him for years. I am not merely his client but we have been great friends, family friends to be precise. So I know for a fact that he had been ecstatic when he found that he had a new baby sister. Who do you think bought you your favourite toys or dresses? It was always him and yash who saved up to pamper their sister. Yash loved you geet and so did Brij. Even your dad. We can't really do anything about your mom. Some people are just incapable love."

He took a breath and watched Geet looking at him like he was her only anchor to reality.

"Yash... losing yash was a terrible thing Geet. But only one to be blamed in that was that truck driver who was driving on the wrong side. I am sure Dev and Meera have wronged you in worst way possible but you are not to be blamed for their choices and I am sure someday they would pay for your tears in some way. So you listen to me Geet. You are an amazing person sweetie. You are loved by all those who know you. Cry, scream and let go of your pain tonight. Hit me if that makes you feel better but you are not allowed to disrespect yourself or blame yourself for mistakes made by others."

Geet watched him as few drops of tears escaped her eyes. Maan wiped away the tears as he tucked few strands of her hair behind her ear. Looking into her eyes he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and let her go from his arms. She picked up the vodka this time and made herself a drink.

Maan watched her drink and knew it would take lot more than just one night of drowning sorrow in alcohol and a not so good pep talk. But it was a start.

******

"You met her."

That was so Sameera thing to do. No beating around the bush, no making any unrelated small talk just stating the facts. Brij cannot help but smile.

"Straight to the topic ha Sam?"

"I don't see any reason to. We both know each other enough for such pretentions."

"So what do you want to know?"

Sameera just raised an eyebrow and looked on to him. Brij raised his both hands as if surrendering and smiled.

"It was unplanned and unexpected. I was going with Geetu to Darjeeling when I bumped into her. I didn't want Geet to go alone but Geet insisted. And then we talked a bit."

"She told me."

"Then why is this topic coming up?"

"Maybe because I am mad at you."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I mean how many times in past ten years did I ask you if you wanted to meet her, talk to her and know about her and you always rejected having any sort of connection with her. And then you suddenly meet and decide to talk with her. But you didn't even tell me. I am hurt Brij. I am supposed to be your friend and I hear about this from her? What did I do to deserve this?"

Brij was a patient man, but he had his own set of fiery temper which flares up if anyone questions his integrity. Furrowing his brow he glared at Sameera making her flinch. After all Sameera knew about Brij's temper. Brij started talking in a dangerously cold monotone.

"Sameera, has it ever occurred to you that maybe this wasn't about you? This was about me and Tara, just me and Tara. I have never interfered between you and Maan. You never told me about you facing issues in your marriage. Heck the only reason I came to know before the media was because I happened to be your lawyer. But I never thought anything about you. Because it was personal, it was about you and Maan. I had always given you that space. I am all ears if you want to share but I am never going to pry. So why are you not giving me that same considerations?"

Sameera was looking at Brij wide eyed and Brij realized that he had said too muh.

"I am not sorry for what I said Sameera but I am sorry about how I said it."

Sameera composed herself. Afterall if Brij thinks his temper would faze her then he had another thing coming.

"Brij, stop over reacting. You and I both know that I can be many things but I don't butt in where I don't belong. I am hurt because I wanted to know that things changed, that some miracle occurred and you found your peace. Tara di is living a peaceful life. She was one of those lucky ones having been blessed with the love of two amazing men. But whenever I see you getting destroyed by your loneliness I feel incredibly sad. You don't deserve it Brij, you never have."

"I am fine."

"You are talking to the queen of I am fine' excuse. Remember you told me about love. Here's something I am telling you about life. Its high time you forgive yourself brij."

"What do I need to forgive myself for?"

"You have always been this perfect ideal kind of man; the good son, the good brother, the good friend, the good lawyer. But you failed to be good where it mattered most. You couldn't be the good lover. You couldn't marry Tara di. And you have never forgiven yourself for that, for destroying a part of the woman you have loved."

Brij looked at her with bloodshot eyes. It was evident that what Sameera said had hit a raw nerve. Sameera took his hands in between her hands and looked at him.

"My di had always been proud that she loved you. She had never regretted anything, not even your break-up. She understood your reasons. Nobody blames you Brij. Not Tara di, not her parents and definitely not her extremely possessive sister."

She smiled cheekily as Brij smiled at her.

"I know Sameera. But forgiving yourself is not as easy as you seem to think."

"Oh I know all about you perfect kind of man who thinks it's easy to forgive others but not yourself."

"Are you talking about me or Maan?"

"Does it matter? What I am trying to tell you applies to Maan as well. Forgive yourself Brij. Fifteen years is a long time. Amrit bhai, Tara di's husband is a good husband and Tara di is living a good life. You should too."

"I don't know what you mean by good life but I can't even imagine another woman in my life."

"Moving on doesn't necessarily mean you go into a relationship again. I don't believe that life gets wasted if you don't marry. But life does get wasted if you stop living and barely survive. Live a little more, laugh a little more... Just don't survive like you have been doing for the past fifteen years."

They both were engrossed in their talk.Suddenly a voice interrupted them.

"That's what I have been telling him for years."

They turned and found a smiling Pari looking at them.

Brij:"Pari...now don't you double team with Sameera."

Pari:"Come on, you never share your pain. I am glad there is somebody out there Brij that can make you talk."

All of them smiled. It was so natural for them to relate to each other. Each of them had lost a love, maybe there only chance at love.

Brij:"Remember our talk over phone Pari?"

Pari:"I do."

Brij:"I talk if you talk. Looking at you like this, trying so hard to survive makes me guilty like I had failed or something. I know Yash believed that in case anything happened to him I and Geetu would take care of you but we let him down Pari."

Pari:"What is this, asking hard questions session?"

Sameera:"Personally I think this is just a much needed heart to heart session. Brij is right you know. I know, we cannot even begin to fathom the extent of your pain but Pari we are here for you. Holding it all in is exhausting. Let it out. Trust me, we understand."

Pari:"It's not that I don't want to. I just can't. Those memories are too precious for me to share. But I promise I will try. Anyway Brij, the reason I came here was that you got a conference call scheduled."

Sameera smiled and took her leave.

Brij:"Pari..."

Pari:"What Brij?"

Brij:"Are you uncomfortable with Sameera? "

Pari:"Not really. Inspite of the fact that you being very close to the elites of Mumbai, Me and Geet never felt the same need. We loved our simple life and preferred the lifestyle that won't be splattered over newspaper. Sam and I belong to two different worlds that cannot collide. She is a nice person, a totally different one than what she projects as a celebrity. But I don't want to go back to that world Brij. That world took away from me more than I could ever replace. So you would understand why I am keeping my distance."

Brij:"You are taking it personally Pari. You are not to be blamed for what happened on that day Pari."

Pari:"The last thing I heard from my late husband was I hate what the tellywood had turned you into Pari. You are not the Pari I fell in love with.' How can I not take it personally? "

Brij:"Maybe because he didn't mean it. Yash thought the world of you Pari. He loved the whole of you. What he said that day were mere words, he never meant them. He loved you with everything he had and he couldn't have hated you even if he had tried."

Pari:"And how do you know that?"

Brij:"Because I remember his last words to me. He said and I quote Take care of Pari for me Veerji and tell her that I love her.' "

Both had tears in their eyes but Brij got up and pulled her into a hug. And finally years after Yash passed away Pari truly let go and cried out all her pain that she had bottled in. Brij held her the whole time providing her with whatever little comfort he could.

Once Pari's sobs stopped a bit Brij said in a soft voice," Pari, my brother's last words to you weren't I hate you' but I love you.' Stop blaming yourself for his death. I am not going to tell you to move on. Then I would be a hypocrite. But you shouldn't destroy yourself like this. My brother would never have wanted that of you."