He fumbles at your spirit... (Maan/Geet OS) 27 Jul

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: blueflames
I can only say WOW
u have a gift sookie.
I am not much of a critic but your power of analysis is superb. you have what it takes to penetrate in the mind of the character and bring out his/her deepest thoughts and feelings to surface...well done
It was filled with passion yet it was subtle
loved it😊😊

Thank you so much! Makes me happy to read your comment. :-)

And many many thanks for appreciating the thoughts behind writing. Because for me, that is more important than the acting of writing itself. :-)

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: sri_4
Will be back...
Edit:
Wowo..another great shot and this time from Grandma's POV..
I really felt that i was seeing the whole scene again but with a very different perspective..while i was so involved seeing ManEet in the scene here i could relate to grandma's POV..
Her relationship with her grandson and how to make him normal again..(Not that he is,, 😆 )..But the comfort he shares with Geet is very different and eventhough ManEet couldn't recognize it themselves she has understood them very well..a sweet n sour realtionship..
Great again..👏
Sri:-)

Hi Sri,

Thanks !!! Good you saw a different perspective because that was the whole idea!

I think they know what they are to each other. From third person's perspective, it is little hard to believe. Thats all :-)

Thanks again!

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Garima

@ScatteredCastle

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#33

edited here: 😳

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/32319810

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Dhara_s
Hey that was fantabulous....Beautifully written...Gran's POV...twas amazing...!!!

Thank you very much Dhara.

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: ayshuri14
such a beautifully written peace once again .. x

Thank you so much! :-)

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nehaahmad

@nehaahmad

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#36

Sookie, this was an awesome post. i love the fact that you used dadi as the narrator and it was not cheesy nor xrated, which i liked. we tend to get carried away with that kinda stuff and forget the underlying emotion and sentiments. and you have brought those out implicitly. i enjoyed reading it and add me to your list of people, when you write another one.

Thanks,
Neha

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: anufa
fantastic👏

loved iT!!!!❤️

Thanks Anufa! :-)

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Escapist

@Escapist

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#38

hey sookie tht was wonderful !

loved it to d core....wow a diffrent perspective all
together !
frm grandma's point of view ...and tht added to d simplicity of the story !!

it was chalked out in such a subtle manner tht i'm in awe !
the emotions....the perspective and each and everythng simply added to d beauty !! :)

loved this one too !

tc
fatima

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Sookie

@-Sookie-

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: ash08
He fumbles at your spirit
As players at the keys
Before they drop full music on;

Sookie, this was absolutely brilliant.

I liked how you looked at the whole situation from a third's persons point of view. You are right in saying that for an innocent bystander, the interactions between Maan and Geet might seem warring. But the level of intimacy that these two share springs from an immaculate trust in each other.

And the title is perfect. The poem by Emily Dickinson (I think you were inspired by this) perfectly suits them both.

I like your flow of thoughts. It makes for a wonderful read.

Thanks a ton for the pm.

Your breath has time to straighten
Your brain to bubble cool --
Deals one imperial thunderbolt
That scalps your naked soul.

Love,
Ash

Hello Ash,

I think you are the only one who connected the title and the story. For which I am super duper glad. I have a thing for poetry and I get easily influenced by them. I liked this poem and wanted to use it for one of my one shots I am working on which is based on AR, but decided to use it for Maan-Geet one as I was suddenly inspired to write this.

I am more of a fan of Frost, Keats, Longfellow and Poe but Emily D comes up with these brilliant little verses which makes me whimsical. Even though I was completely and utterly exhausted, I still wrote this OS last night.

Grandma here represents all of us and the way we see the two of them. The writers have left many things to our own discretion which is kind of nice, I think. Various perspectives can be derived out of it and what grandma sees here is, mine.

Many thanks for your comment and you are welcome for the PM.

S

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tanu

@Armu4eva

Moderator

+ 14

Posted: 15 years ago

#40

E X C E L L E N T

Fabulous... OS ....just too good.... u knw..at the start i wrongly thot..that it was Geet thinking of Maan.. till i read...that 'she saw herself in him'

Luvd to read th OS..from Dadimas POV...n u bet.. our Maneet are so very..comfy in each others company.....

Rocking OS dear.. plz keep writing more...👏👏👏👏👏👏