Jokes - Page 71

I am in the mood for Kadiching...so here goes... 😃



Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?



Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railways.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to Newyork.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.



First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive


Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love



1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.


Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born



Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.

Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."

Jas Sema kadi's enjoyed a lot.

Nallu very good ones ma.

Suram, kalakareenga.

Jas, Nallu, Suram semma jokes 😆 😆 😆

Roy moved in with his girlfriend and her enormous collection of old magazines. They took up an entire room in the apartment. "It's me or the magazines," Roy insisted. When she refused to part with any of them, Roy left. Like he told his friends, she just had too many issues

As a couple are dining in a restaurant, the husband keeps staring at a drunken woman sitting alone nearby. "Do you know her?" his wife asks.

"Yes," he sighs. "She's my ex-wife. She started drinking after we divorced seven years ago."

"My God," says his wife. "Who would think someone could celebrate that long?"

Bob was sitting across from his wife, Marlene, reading the paper when he noticed a story about a beautiful actress who was engaged to a football player known for his stupidity and penchant for fighting.

"I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive women," he said to his wife.

Marlene smiled at Bob. "Why thank you, dear."

A woman went to the GP's clinic and was seen by a new young doctor. After about four minutes in his room, she started screaming and ran out down the corridor.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was. She told him what had happened. He calmed her down and marched off to see the young GP.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Mrs. Tompkins is 72 years old, she has four grown-up children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued writing his notes and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"