Jokes - Page 70

First Previous

Page

151

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Uma

@Fluidd

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#691

Free Definitions…..

School: A place where Dad pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

Quote

Kavitha Ravi

@Kavitha Ravi

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#692

Well done Uma, very nice, I really enjoyed those.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

jasunap

@jasunap

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#693

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TAMIL MATCH MAKER?
Matri Mani

HOW DID THE SCHOOL GIRLS REACT AFTER SEEING CHO RAMASWAMY'S SHINING BALD PATE?
"Cho Chweet"

LOOSE MOHAN KU PIDIKADHA WATCH EDHU?
Tight-an

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUISED ANT?
Cut Erumbu

WHICH IS THE BIGGEST STD BOOTH IN MADURAI?
Aayiram Call Mandapam

WHICH COCA COLA PRODUCT WILL BE A BIG HIT IN CHENNAI SLUMS?
Cheri Coke

BHADRAKAALI KKU PIDICHA JOKE EDHU?
Naak Naak…jokes?

ORU MUSLIM PENNODU THIRUMANAM SEIDHAAL ADHARKU PEYAR NIKKAH. ORU GUNDU MUSLIM PENNODU THIRUMANAM SEIDHAAL ADHARKU PEYAR ENNAVO?
Poosh-nikkah

Edited by jasunap - 17 years ago

Quote

jasunap

@jasunap

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

#694

more kadis...

WHICH KAMAL FILM IS ABOUT TWO GOATS?
Vettai Aadu Vilai Aadu

MANI DIETING PANNITU OLLIYANA ENNA KOOPADALAAM?
Mass-Illa-Mani

SHANKARA MADATHLA BANDAGE SUPPLIERA ENNA KOOPUDUVA?
Mada Plastri

BANDHA KAATAADHA SEARCH ENGINE EDHU?
Alta Vista

KRISHNA VENI NNU ORU BAYANGARA VAADHI ITALY NAATLA ORU GUNDU VEESINANGARA SEIDHIYA ROMAPURI PAANILA SOLLU PAARKALAAM?
Veni. Vedi. Veesi.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A SMOKING COUPLE IN TAMIL?
Dum-pathi

POONAI ODA FAVOURITE PAYASAM EDHU?
Say miaow payasam.

OEDIPUS KKU PIDICHA TAMIZH PAATTU EDHU?
Thai illaamal naan illai.

RAMBA YAEN MARPADIYUM WEIGHT PODRAANGA?
Thigh pirandha vazhi pirakkumnu padichangalaam!

PICHAIKARANAI PATHI ORU HINDI PADAM PANNA ADHUKKU PERU ENNA VEKKALAAM?
Pasi, Pattini aur Woe.

Edited by jasunap - 17 years ago

Quote

sankadevi30

@sankadevi30

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#695

Lying battered and bruised in hospital, a man explained to his friend, "I told my wife that when the football is on TV, it would take a team of wild horses to drag me away. I still have no idea where she got them."

Quote

sankadevi30

@sankadevi30

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#696

Covered with swellings and bruises, a man staggers into a hospital.. "Whatever happened to you?" asks the doctor.

"A swan bumped into me..."

"What?"

"After that a UFO hit me."

"Strange things happen to you."

"That's nothing, afterwards an angel hit me on the head."

"Go on, I'm all ears!" "After that they finally stopped the merry-go-round!"

Quote

sankadevi30

@sankadevi30

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#697

"My mother is such an alarmist," a teenager complained.

"One cough and she thinks I've got bronchitis, a headache and she suspects a brain tumour,

one little lie and she thinks I'm destined for politics."

Quote

sankadevi30

@sankadevi30

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

#698

While sitting in a taxi, a nun notices that the cabbie is staring at her. "I don't want to offend you," he says, "but my fantasy is to be kissed by a nun."
"Well, all right," says the nun. "But you have
to be Catholic and
single."
The cabbie says he is, so the nun plants a passionate kiss on his lips. The man is momentarily ecstatic but then starts crying.
"What's the matter?" asks the nun.
"Forgive me, Sister,
but I have sinned. I lied to you. I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "Oh, that's OK. My name's Kevin and I'm off to a fancy dress party."