Jokes - Page 68

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed only one of the questions.
The manager went to the first applicant and said, ''Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.''
"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.
"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.
"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.
''Simple,'' said the department manager, ''Your fellow applicant put down onquestion #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'''

PUPIL: "Would you punish a pupil for something she didn't do?"

TEACHER: "Of course not."

PUPIL: "Good, I haven't done my homework."

Two babies were sat in their prams, when one baby,
Little Johnny, shouted to the other, "Are you a little
girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the baby
Little Johnny.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was
the reply.

"Well, I do," said baby Little Johnny chuckling. "I'll climb
into your pram and find out."

He carefully maneuvered himself into the other baby's
pram, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets.
After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin
on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he
said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," said the baby girl, "but how
can you tell?"

"It's quite easy really," replied baby Little Johnny, "you've
got pink booties and I've got blue ones!"

Originally posted by: giriadimai

Jas ! I am laughing at 12.13 am 😆 😆 😆. Fluidd! That was thought provoking 😊, now I know Jas is laughing 😃

i did not know you needed provocation!!!😆

Vani, your joke about the babies in the pram, my heart stopped for a minute, then 😆

Originally posted by: jasunap

kavi...they are babies for christ's sake!!!😆

Kavi, I won't blame you, I felt the same when I first reading it.. 😆

The doctor took Dan into the room and said,

"Dan, I have some good news and some bad news."

Dan said, "Give me the good news."

"They're going to name a disease after you."

An Irishman's been at the pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So the guy stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.

He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.

So he crawls all the way home and at the door stands up and again falls flat on his face.

He crawls through the door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him.

"So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"And what makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on his best innocent face.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."

Friendship Between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his
wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship Between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he
had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best
friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over and two claimed
that he was still there.