Jokes - Page 55

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a highly agitated, arrogant little man who ran a small business that he had started from scratch.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"How's that?" the would be accountant asked.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the accountant said. "And how much will my position pay?"

"I'll start you at eighty five thousand," responded the owner decisively.

"Eighty five thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry. Now get to work!"

and my absolute favourite....

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house.
His three children were outside, still in their pyjamas,playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the frontyard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled onThe counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled onthe floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more
piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled,and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,

"What happened here today?" She again smiled and answered,

"You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what on earth did you do today?"

"Yes" was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Vani, that was so damn funny!!!! 😆

Originally posted by: jasunap

and i thot you learnt bengali somewhere!!!😆😆😆

Ayyo Jas I am a linguist😉...Neriyaa languagesa thappu thappaa pesuven!!!!😃

Hey Jas, those jokes were super duper!!! Esp the one with the wife!!! 😆

Here is one


Subject: : What name will you give ...

A BIHARI WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HIS

wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna ( Bihar).

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

> His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DIWIVEDI";

If it is the third neighbour then it would
be "TRIVEDI",

If it is the fourth neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI";

If its the fifth neighbour then it would
be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because
of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...

And if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY"

Vani, jas and suram: Super. super. super. (Read it like sundharam master said it.)

hey suram... come on gimme five....naan kooda nariya languages thappu thappa paesuven, ezhuduvaen, and vaasippaen!!!

I read this in the Hindu
John's last will and testament

John has died and his lawyer reads out John's Will to the family. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land and 1 million dollars. I leave my Lexus and Jaguar to my son Barry. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and 250,000 dollars. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is wealth, I leave my treadmill."

Another one:

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked him "what 's the matter?"

He said, "I heard the nurse say,'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I am sure it will be alright.'"

"She was trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"

"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor."

😆 😆 chits...i loved the treadmill one!!!