Angad was driving his old rusted Honda. It was quite old actually. The engines would sound like it had a cold, an the brakes the stop 5 minutes late. Yet, Angad loved the car. It was his car, he had bought it with his own blood earned money. There is a strange feeling in using hard earned money. A strange satisfaction in it. Angad felt it when he drove this car. He had many other cars. A BMW, a Lexus, a Porsche and God knew what else. But it felt suffocating in them, his body would refuse it just as organs are rejected after a transplant. He'd feel as if he was a thief. But their nothing knew in that. His soul had been screaming that out to him for so long that he had been truly believing he was a thief. He was a thief, he stole Das's life, his wife, his son, his clothes, his business his everything. The ache in his heart had been hurting so long, that he'd forgotten what it had felt like to not ache. The heart ache would never leave him…not even for on breathe. That one time his heart ache had left his interior being was that one night heaven had come to his feet. That one night he had Kripa…That one night his restless heart was at rest.
The leaves ruffled, and the crickets sang a song of harmony. Angad didn't know what to do know. Where to go. He and Kripa…mistaken he was. It wasn't him and Kripa it had been Das and Kripa who had gotten divorced. Angad was feeling quite strange now. It had even evoked him to laugh. The thought was so very confusing that it was simply hilarious. He had been regretting Das and Kripa getting a divorce. The thought almost killed him. He had surely loved Kripa in all true passion and honesty, and yet had been regretting her "divorce" with her husband. He was most likely the very first lover who had wished for his beloved and her husband to be together forever. But there was definitely a catch to this wish, he hadn't wished for the original Mr. Das Malhotra and Kripa to be together forever, he had honestly been thanking his stars that he'd been dead for these 2 years. He just wished that he…the current Mr. Das and his Kripa had never spilt. But he wasn't Das, he was Angad right? He was Angad, Angad Khanna. He wasn't Das. The names were spinning in his head. For a moment he had forgotten who he was. His head was just spinning around and around like a basketball upon a finger. Boy, his head was sure been spinning hard, his thought just got all discombobulated within his very mind. As he was spinning, he realized that it hadn't been his head spinning…it had been his car. The names Angad and Das were the last thought he had before his old rusted Honda spun like a Frisbee unto a near tree. As the car smashed, and the tree shed it's leaves into the air as it swung on the Honda's roof.
"When will he regain his senses"?
" Well, we cannot say. He hit his head pretty darn hard, I'll give you that much."
"When can we take him home"?
"As soon as he regains conscious, but you'll have to take good care of him for some weeks, a month perhaps…the head injury although not critical, was severe. He may even have forgotten some things about himself ".
" Oh my goodness, what do you mean forgotten?"
"Nothing serious…nothing to worry about".
The doctor had now finished explaining everything to Kripa. He left to his quarters to attend another patient. Kripa had not yet been allowed to see Angad. She could just wait. Kripa's concern for Angad's well bringing was very surprising to herself. The thought that perhaps Angad might not have made it alive from the accident sent chills down her spine. The thought of not having Angad alive and well scared her quite a bit. He wasn't in love she knew for sure. There had been a time in this past year where Kripa and Angad had gone through physical intercourse, but it hadn't been for love. Or so she convinced herself to believe. She had been convinced and it had also made sense to her, that whatever feeling that had drawn her to spend that night with Angad, weren't for Angad…they were for Das. In this year of pretending to be Das, many times Angad's flawless acting made both Angad and Kripa believe that he truly was Das. Yet that didn't explain Kripa's fear of losing Angad tonight. Das had died long ago…there's no fear in losing someone dead. So had Kripa been afraid to lose this image of Das she had so close to her or had she been afraid to Angad who was even closer?
Kripa had been sitting in that waiting room for God knew how long. Various thoughts occurred to her. The silence in the waiting room was very funny to Kripa. It was very funny. It was even worth a laugh, but she knew it wasn't the appropriate time or place. Besides, no one would understand. Kripa's sense of humor was very funny in itself. No one had ever understood it, not even Das. Although Angad had…that was a different story. Angad understood a lot of things about Kripa…things that perhaps Kripa herself hadn't understood. But that wasn't anything special. In Angad's training to become Das, he had to try even harder then an average person to understand everything. He had to understand it through not his, but Das's perspective. Kripa had noticed one thing though…in time Angad had made his perspective the same as Das's. Which was quite a scary thought, when thought about.
"Mr. Das, are you okay? Mr. Das, can you hear me? Please make any movement at all if you can", said the doctor in a loud scratchy tone. The doctors voice was very annoying. It was like nails on a chalk board. Angad banged his head against the pillow hoping that it would knock his senses out of him, and so he wouldn't have to listen to his voice anymore. That of course, was of no help. "Just make one movement of the finger", repeated the doctor several times. Angad sure did make a movement of the finger, he showed the doctor his middle finger.
"Mr. Das? Are you there still"?
"I'm right here, now would you shut up", said exclaimed. Mr. Das Malotra would have never phased that sentence in such a manner, but Mr. Das could have gone to hell for all Angad cared right now. He just wanted this annoying creature speaking to him to shut the hell up!.
Kripa steeped into the room now. Her fragrance of purity mixed with a hint in cinnamon filled the entire room with a smell that only Angad could inhale. It blocked away that pine sole smell of the toilet, and the disgusting breath of this Hungarian doctor.
The doctor began to explain how to use the medicines and all that good stuff you Kripa. The nurse had now come in adding more noise.
"Mr. Das has to take care of….".
"Doctor I have the prescriptions".
"Can he walk?"
"How will Das feel later on".
" Mr. Das needs rest".
"Mr. Das car has arrived".
"Mr. Das…."
All Angad could now comprehend was Mr. Das. Now his head was really spinning, and in high speed. It reminded of the Farris wheel in the theme parks. He made a mental note to take Arjun there…no he meant take Sahil there on of these days. He, Das….no he was Angad. The noise, the confusion, the insanity…Angad couldn't take it anymore. The voices were seeking into his ear drums ripping out every piece of saneness in him. He was about to scream out when…it had all gone away. Everything had just stopped. All Angad heard were tiny footsteps. You had to commend Angad's hearing ability, amidst all this noise Angad heard those tiny footsteps. He look at the white door, which was less while and more a dirty gray when he saw him. Sahil was walking to the room along with Betty the maid. All the madness was gone. Betty left Sahil to Kripa and left as well.
" Okay, then", said the doctor before leaving.
Now, finally Angad was at peace. Kripa picked up Sahil and brought him to Angad. All Angad heard was the heart beats of his loved ones. Kripa was staring right into Angad's eyes. Kripa loved these moments of contact she and Angad had. She could understand all he said, and he understood all she said in these moments. Like right now, Angad knew Kripa was happy he was unharmed. Kripa knew Angad was happy she and Sahil were here. Kripa was almost floating to Angad, her legs moving automatically. She wondered though, whether it was Angad her steps were going to, or were they moving back to Das? Kripa didn't know much about what was happening in life…but she knew that she wished with all her might that Angad had been Das…or perhaps das had been Angad. Honestly, Kripa didn't know much about Angad. At times talking to Angad would be just like talking to Das. Not because Das and Angad were alike. God knew they were as different as chalk and cheese. But perhaps it was because, Angad along with the world, convinced Kripa too that he really was Das.
In the middle of all this complex thinking was Sahil. Simply staring to Angad's eyes. After a minute or so, Angad realized what Sahil was looking at. He quickly turned his face to the other side. Kripa's steps automatically stopped, something was up. Kripa put Sahil down and asked him to go see where Betty was. "But, but I didn't talk to daddy yet mommy!", he fought back. Sahil was very concerned for his father at this point. According to Sahil, his father looked very sick. "Mommy look at his eye's, he's very sick! They changed colors because he's so sick! Let me kiss his boo boo, please! I can make it better, I kissed Mr. Pooh Bear's boo boo once and it got all betterer", he explained to his mother. Kripa kissed Sahil about his brow, and called in Betty to take him. Sahil was un set but knew better then to cry in the hospital, even a 4 year old had some self respect.
It broke both Kripa and Angad's heart to see Sahil like this. But, they had no other choice. Now Kripa and Angad were alone finally. Simply alone. If only it could have been like this more often. Kripa sat next to Angad and caressed his hair. Kripa touch made all the worries and all the pain disappear into oblivion. She spoke in her soft graceful voice, " Are you ready to go home"? Angad simply nodded his head. Kripa then helped him put on his contacts. She was very close to him at this point. Her chest had pressed unto his as the concentrated on placing the contact properly. Slowly the process was over, and yet they didn't separate. Kripa fixed Angad hair, and helped him get into his normal clothes. They were comfortable and uncomfortable was the same time. Angad then kissed Kripa lightly on her plum lips. Surprisingly, Kripa kissed him back. Kripa hugged Angad and helped him up.
"Where am I going", asked Angad. The was technically homeless now. Kripa helped him put on his shoes and replied, "Home…our house". "Your home, you mean". Kripa looked at Angad and smiled, "Whatever you call it".
As the door opened Sahil ran inside and looked at Angad's eyes. " He looks kind of betterer now. Mommy did you kiss his boo boo? Kripa went up front, and Sahil held Angad's hands.
"Psst, daddy"
"What is it?"
"I love you"
Angad smile at the small boy. Angad was a tall man, and so he presumed so was Das, and if he was, Sahil surely receive his height as a trait. Sahil was a little above Angad's knees, which was very tall for a 4 year old, turning 5.
"Sahil, hold Daddy's hand, and lead him this way", said Kripa without turning back.
And so Sahil lead Angad into that world again. The world that didn't belong to Angad but to Das. He went into Das's world again…leaving Angad somewhere behind.
To Be Continued…
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*Expect more updates since my Winter Break starts Thursday.*
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