"There is a fine line between passion and anger." - Brighton Ernest
Viren awoke the next morning in a warm bath of sunlight, Jeevika nestled snugly in his arms. He blinked open his eyes sleepily, comfortably aware of one of her legs entwined with his, her head tucked into the crook of his shoulder, his hand over hers. She stirred, waking as well, eyes meeting his for a bare second, before the impish tones of Virat and Manvi interrupted.
Both rose, sitting up awkwardly, as their siblings teased them. Viren simply hoped they would leave as soon as possible so that he could have a little more time alone with his wife who was blushing as she always did when their romantic interludes were interrupted.
Once they did finally leave however, the memories of the past few weeks struck him sharply and he was reminded of the distance between them. Jeevika tensed beside him as well and he rose from the bed silently to go to the washroom, to piece his thoughts together where they were still a jumbled mess in his half-asleep brain.
Jeevika wondered what might have happened had Manvi and Virat not surprised them from the doorway. Perhaps they would have uneasily disentangled themselves from each other and pretended nothing had happened. Or maybe Viren would have spoken to her...properly...for the first time in weeks. She didn't know. But, it hardly mattered, did it? Neither were particularly willing to speak to the other.
After Viren exited the washroom, she entered, taking care not to brush past him as she went. She changed into her clothes for the day and began to brush out her hair. Viren came back to grab something, but she determinedly refused to look anywhere near him. It wasn't until his arm reached closely around her to pick up a comb, however, that she started and looked up to meet his reflection in the mirror. Turning around quickly, she realized he had been standing directly behind her. He was frozen, staring at her cautiously as though she was a deer about to bolt at any given moment.
Something in his eyes softened slightly, "Good morning."
Her eyes widened at the greeting, "Good morning."
A slight pause before she moved, "I'll just-" she didn't finish her sentence, hurriedly stepping out of the little enclosed room. If she had turned back, she would have caught Viren looking at her pensively, however, her own mind was in a tangled whirl of bitter memories and she was still fighting with herself to keep the tears at bay.
Viren sat down for breakfast. He hadn't managed to get any time alone with Jeevika since early morning. He had missed his chance and she was taking every precaution to avoid him. Even now, she was in the kitchen. It wasn't until Manvi called mischievously from the kitchen to let him know Jeevika was in the midst of making his favourite chutney that he felt a little spark of hope.
Still caught up in his thoughts, he did not realize Jeevika was serving him another paratha, until he involuntarily put his hand over hers and looked up at her. She froze, then carefully drew back as he withdrew his hand. It was strange, Viren thought to himself. He'd touched her idly so many times before, without much thought behind it. However, since Badi Maa's heart attack he'd avoided her very presence. And now, every single accidental touch between them sent sharp tingles down his spine, made him so physically aware of her.
It wasn't long before Chachi came in, announcing Dabbu's wedding would be held the day after Valentine's Day. Beeji turned to him asking him to stay for the remaining week. Viren took his time in answering, glancing at Jeevika to gauge her expression. There was something in her face that compelled him to answer yes. Yes, he had a chance.
Jeevika was struggling to retie her dori in front of the mirror. They were all about to go shopping and she was getting late. Hearing footsteps behind her, she assumed it was Manvi and called for help. She didn't bother to glance at the mirror in front of her. However, at the sensation of fingers over hers...fingers that were decidedly masculine and familiar...she slowly glanced up in disbelief.
His fingers were so gentle, grazing across her skin, unintentionally provoking wayward thoughts in her. It had been so long since he so willingly, consciously touched her and she ached for him. When he pulled on the dori, she'd caught her breath sharply, as the material tightened because where there was flimsy fabric, all she could imagine was his hands instead. Such a simple, innocent gesture, tying her dori for her...and yet, it sparked something wild within her. He let his hands run down her shoulders to her arms and she turned slowly to face him, unsure of what she or he would do next. When she lifted her eyes to meet his, his mouth opened as though to say something. And she desperately needed him to say something...anything...in order to break this excruciating tension. She wanted him to forgive her, she wanted to forgive him. In that moment, she forgot her hurt, her anger...she just wanted him.
"Di, kitna time..." Manvi walked in and abruptly stopped, staring at the two of them.
Just like that, the spell was broken and Viren dropped his hands hurriedly, while Jeevika looked away. The three made their excuses; Viren and Manvi left. Jeevika let her fingers trail back along her back, smiling to herself. Despite her hurt and everything that occurred, she could not prevent herself from feeling a tiny, exquisite pang of happiness as she basked in the memory of him.
Viren drove them to the shopping mall, trying to let his thoughts not stray...or his eyes for that matter. He kept glancing involuntarily at Jeevika through the rear-view mirror, though at moments when she looked at him and caught him looking at her, they both looked away immediately. It was a tense trip to the mall, thankfully interspersed with Manvi chatting away for distraction.
Once they were in the mall, however, Jeevika made sure not to let Manvi out of her sight, preventing Viren from spending any time alone with her. He sighed, lagging a few steps behind. He had just been examining a navy blue polo when he turned around to hear a startled shriek from Jeevika.
Spinning around swiftly, he realized she had merely bumped into a passerby by accident. The man righted her gently with a smile. Viren recognized him, though it had been quite a while since he'd seen his face. Dr. Manan.
He didn't bother heading over, but leaned against the wall watching their interactions dourly. Jeevika had a wide smile on her face as she asked him how he was doing. Manan too, looked quite pleased and spoke animatedly of some topic.
Viren shook himself. He couldn't be...jealous...could he? They were just friends, he reminded himself, or more accurately, the little green-eyed monster that was growling within him.
Though, certainly all thoughts of platonic friendship fled out of his mind, when Manan put his hand over Jeevika's and smiled at her.
That was it. Viren strode over and forced a polite smile to his face, offering a handshake. The sooner the man stepped away from his wife the better, he grumbled. Manan, on the other hand was quite cordial, "Viren, how are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks," he replied shortly, "And you? I hope all is well?" He moved slightly closer to Jeevika.
Manan looked slightly amused by the stance, "All is very well, I was just telling Jeevika-"
Viren pretended to get a call from someone, "Haan, Beeji? Yes, we're almost done, we'll be home soon." He put away his cell phone and cleared his throat, "We should be getting home now. It was nice seeing you again." He caught Jeevika's hand with his and pulled her away.
However, once they were out of earshot- Manvi had disappeared somewhere- Jeevika pulled her hand out of his, "Virenji, what are you doing?"
"What do you mean, what am I doing?" he pretended ignorance. He was in a thoroughly bad-tempered mood by now.
"You were so rude to Dr. Manan," she rebuked, "You barely let him speak and-"
"Your grandmother called," Viren interrupted curtly.
Jeevika retorted, "You and I both know she didn't." She'd seen right through him. "Next time, if you don't want me talking to another man alone, come with me yourself."
"That's ridiculous," he replied coldly, "Why should I worry about who you speak to?" he brought up her previous words from that fateful day in the restaurant, "You don't need my protection, remember?"
Jeevika looked up at him, just as furious as he was, though she said nothing in response, simply turning on her heel and striding away. Viren could have hit himself.
Yet again, he let his anger get away from him.
They arrived home in silence, Viren headed to the bathroom to take a shower, feeling exhausted. Jeevika sat down on her bed with a heavy sigh. Why did she have to goad him about Manan? She knew perfectly well Viren had been watching them and some part of her had felt quite satisfied, knowing that he was feeling jealous. Because...a tiny part of her whispered...it meant he cared...
But, they had only ended up arguing yet again. She wished desperately that they could speak without fighting, however words seemed to be laced with a new meaning to them now.
She needed some chai. She headed to the kitchen, deciding to make a cup for Manvi and herself, surely it would relax her and clear her mind. However, as she went to go find Manvi, she discerned Viren's voice calling from the bathroom, calling for Virat.
"Kya hua, Virenji? Virat's not here," she informed him. There was a pause before he replied, "The water isn't coming from the showerhead."
Jeevika checked the pipe and returned, "Virenji, try and find the pipe from inside."
A sharp bang came from inside and Viren grunted.
She pulled herself together and quickly made a decision, "Virenji, I'll come inside."
"Jeevika-" he began to protest.
"There's no other way, Virenji," she stated firmly.
He sighed, giving in, "Alright, one minute." There was a pause before he slid the lock undone and Jeevika entered.
The first thing she saw was him, white foamy soap lathered across his torso, face and hair, his eyes adorably scrunched up to avoid the soap. It almost made her smile, though when her gaze travelled along his body, she was admittedly much less amused and much more aroused. She was caught in a flashback of their honeymoon, the way he'd pulled her into the shower with him, the way he'd made love to her for the first time...
She shook herself out of her reverie, embarrassed and thankful Viren couldn't see her at the moment. She moved past him to find the pipe, only to be at a standstill when she felt her dupatta tauten from behind her. Had he...? She turned around, but only to realize that it had merely gotten caught on a run. She sighed, half-amused, half-embarrassed at herself, and quickly turned the water on.
She watched the water cascade down his back, his eyes opened and she immediately focused her gaze on the floor. She slowly began to head out of the bathroom, though she had just taken a step in front of him, when her foot slipped on the slippery tiles and she fell...and he caught her.
Time felt suspended in motion. He wasn't letting go of her...he wasn't setting her upright...he simply held her. First, with surprise in his eyes, then with something else. Emotions passed through him, she could feel it all through the intensity of his gaze; there was anger, there was jealousy still, but there was also love and affection...and something else. His eyes darkened with something velvety and fathomless in them; it sent delicious shivers running down her spine that had nothing to do with the water that was drenching her suit. His hand tensed at her waist and she became aware that while he hadn't let go of her...she hadn't let go of him, either, her hand still gripping his bare shoulder.
His gaze dropped down to her lips, still undertoned with anger, with jealousy, with love and affection and that something else...but, she didn't move.
And then he kissed her.
Udne Ki Aasha
Kumkum Bhagya
Arjun
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