Longest hours-Armaan Riddhima OS - Page 5

Watching from the window of her bedroom, she saw her husband leaving for the airport. Tears shinning in her brown eyes, messed up hair, ruined mascara shows the painful condition she was in. She was least bother about her looks right now, all she had in her mind was the fact that her husband is leaving his newly bride for a business project in Switzerland. Isn't it ironic, Switzerland is a honeymoon destination and her she was peeping from the window watching her husband sitting inside the cab.
The car started to move as he sat inside. She was watching it until it disappeared completely and then she throw herself on the bed, hiding her face in the pillow and crying her heart out. ""I hate him, hate him, hate him"" she chanted as if the words were some religious mantra.
""Riddhima beta"" a knock on the door bought her back to the senses. She forced herself to walk towards the door. Her eyes were swollen red and hair still in a mess. But she didn't bother to correct herself. Slowly opening the door she saw her mother-in-law standing with a sympathy smile. ""Dinner is ready"" she tried to call her down for dinner. She knows the pain Riddhima is going through, maybe because she has gone through the same. She wanted to stop her son from leaving but he was too stubborn just like his father. ""I am not hungry"" Riddhima replied softly. ""Magar beta..."" before her mother in law could complete, Riddhima banged the door in frustration. She is not a rude, indiscipline daughter in law or wife. But today's event had caused her too much pain, pain that keeps increasing each minute. it's not even complete 2 weeks of their marriage. They hardly had any moments together yet, yet her husband choose to leave her behind and go for a business project.
This is a reason why she hates rich families. Nobody have time for others. She has always dreamt for a middle class family where her husband would have 9-8 job, her father in law would be a retired professor and her mother in law would be a simple housewife. But now, she is married to one of the most powerful, richest family in Mumbai- The Maliks, where her husband is a workaholic, he works on Sundays too. Her father in law is chairman of the company and her mother in law is busy with charity and parties. No one really has time for her. She had refused the proposal before but her father was too determined. He had emotionally blackmailed her, begged her, scolded her, advised her and what not until she said yes. She wonders why they had send a proposal for a simple girl like her. Her family wasn't very well-off, she is not the most beautiful girl in the town and she is definitely not ""fit"" for the family. Her culture, attitude, living was completely different then Maliks. Only if she would have married someone else, someone who would care about her, someone who would spend some time with her, someone who would understand her. But now, nothing like that would happen, she stuck, stuck with a person who is complete opposite of her dream prince.
Another knock on the door. She realized she was still standing near the door with both the hands on the pressed against the wood. She corrected her looks this time, she knows that her action have hurt her mother in law, she was just trying to be generous. Riddhima adjust her hair with her fingers. Wiping the tears and mascara with the dupatta. She slowly opened the door and saw Dadi standing there with a tray. She had a smile not a sympathy one but a genuine smile. Riddhima smiled back, a weak small smile. ""Dadi aap?"" Riddhima questioned. Dadi is her favorite person in the house. She spents most of her time with her. ""Armaan se naraz ho?"" She questioned in whisper. The smile on her face has dissappear, she has a serious expression now. Riddhima shook her head innocently. ""Tho phir khana kyun nahi kha rahi? Pata hai Armaan ne mujhse kaha tha ki tumhari zimedari ab meri hai"" Dadi continued her voice was no longer in whisper. She entered inside the room only to find it in disaster. The bedsheet was crumbled and the couch cushions were on the floor. The pillows were in middle of the untidy bed. ""Sorry"" Riddhima murmured. ""Meh khana side table per rah deti hun. Kha lena"" Dadi said with concern ""Dadi Mujhe bhook nahi hai"" Riddhima tried to explain
""Ase kase chale ga Riddhima? Acha lets make a deal, tum khana khao aur meh tumhari ek wish complete karungi"" Dadi said ""Kya meh kuch din Papa-mumma ke pass jaun?"" Riddhima asked in sudden. She didn't know how that came into her mind, maybe she needs a break from everything, a little time with her parents might make her forgets everything. Dadi didn't seems happy about it but she nodded slowly and walked out. Riddhima closed the door again and locked it. She switched off the lights so that everyone will believe that she has fallen asleep. She doesn't want more sympathy or consoles. She wants some attention some love from her husband. She let the bed lamp on and walked towards the dressing table. Examining herself in the mirror. Brushing her untidy hair she once again lost in her thoughts. 'Maybe life is always unfair' she thought 'nobody gets a perfect life'. Her elder sister got a perfect in-laws, an amazing husband but her life is meaningless without a child for which they're praying for last 5 years. Her mother was always worried about her father's wellbeing when he was in Indian army, she could always sense an emptiness in her mother in law's eyes. Life in no fairy tale, she learnt it in a hard way.
She walked back to the bed. Adjusting the pillows back to their places, correcting the the bedsheet. She started to level the sheet through her hand when she found a diary in the corner of the bed "" To Riddhima"" the label on the book says. She eagerly took the book on her hand and started flipping the pages. There was her photo on the very first page of the book. She was sleeping in the photograph, a small smile on her face, her hair spreading all over the bed. The next page also had a photo of her, she was laughing in it sitting on the dinning table with Armaan's Dadi. The third page had her photo, where she was sitting in a cafe with her best friends Muskan and Nikita, this photo of her was taken before marriage. The next page a photo of her dancing on college stage. Riddhima was beyond surprised with all the photographs. She had never realized that someone was clicking her. The photo of her in bridal attire, sitting in middle of the bed on here first night. A photo in which she is standing in rain with both of her hands raised as if she was trying to hug the rain droplets, feeling each and every drop, her face was raised to the sky and eyes closed. She was badly drained in the water, showing her perfect figure. She stared at the photo for a long time. ""It was Nikita's engagement night""she remembered. She remembered running to the lawn in the rain. She loves rain. She couldn't help but ran to the lawn and get wet, but she doesn't remember anyone following her. She knew she was all alone. This realization had caused a fear to her. Is someone stalking her? Watching her each and every move? The photos taken before her marriage had forced her to have a negative thoughts. The photo in which she is standing in a rain shows her body completely. Her curves were highlighted, the white sareer she was wearing was almost transparent due to the water.
Is this book some kind of threat. A blackmail. She doesn't wish to turn more pages. There was a fear, fear of seeing herself in miserable conditions, seeing herself nude. The fear kept increasing. She wished to close the diary and lock it somewhere, where nobody could ever find it. But apart of her wants to know more, apart of her wants to go further and that part was getting stronger. She turned a page, no more photographs. There was a text ""there is more from where it came from""
An unknown pain strike in her heart. She doesn't understand how to react. Her mind went blank. She sat on the bed with lots of bad thoughts in her mind. ""What is the meaning of- there is more from where it comes from"" she said it out loud. She slowly turned the page. There was another text. It seems like a letter to her. ""I know you are angry, upset, depressed and I know I am the reason behind it"" she began to read. ""Armaan"" it strike her. The diary is left by her husband, how else it could be. Apart of her was relax but another part of her was angry. ""Is it some kind of Joke?"" She thought. Armaan was stalking her. He has his eyes on her.
Ignoring all the thoughts and feelings she had, she continued to read ""I am sorry. But it was necessary. I can't let dad go for the project. He is getting old now, weaker and slower. It his age of retirement. I can't let him do all the hard work. I know I have been ignoring you from the very first day of our marriage. But Riddhima there is something I want you to know-I am not very good in expressing my feelings. Ever since I have seen you dancing in your college I have fallen for you. I know its a bad thing but I was so obsessed with your thoughts that I started following you. Understanding you loving you. I asked my parents to ask your parents for your hand in marriage. And I know you said no at first.
I don't know what made you change your mind but I am happy to have. I remember the day when dad came to me and said that you are ready for this marriage. Honestly I was on the top of the world. I so happy that I wished to scream and let the world know that you will be mine...forever""
Riddhima read the first page, she adjusted herself comfortably on the bed. She recline on the bed. Placing a pillow behind her she started reading the next page.
""But I didn't did any sort of that. I just stood there. Quietly in surprised. I wasn't able to digested the fact that a beautiful girl like you said yes to me. I saw dad smiling at me. I guess he was waiting for me to react. But I don't know how to react. I am extremely horrible in expressing reacting. Nobody understand that but I want you to. I don't know what you were expecting from this marriage. But I want to give you everything you deserve. I want you to enjoy each and every moment of it and I failed. ..terribly. I made you cry today. I know you are regretting this relation of ours and I don't blame you.
I don't know why I am like this Riddhima. Why I just can't share my feelings with anyone. I don't know why it is so difficult for me to let you know how much I love you, how grateful I am that you are a part of my life now. But I am unable to and it hurts, it cause me extreme pain, pain which I can't describe in words. Pain which I can't share with anyone.
Each time I see in misery. Each time I see those sad upset innocent eyes, I can't help but to think that I made a huge mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have send the proposal maybe we shouldn't have married. Maybe everything is a big mistake. My mistake. I am sorry. Very sorry for all the pain, all the trouble."" Pages after pages Riddhima read. She can't help but to feel the pain Armaan was in. She suddenly remembered their first night when Armaan entered in the room, she was nervous as hell. Shivering under his gaze, she couldn't even meet her eyes with his. Armaan slowly steady walked towards her and closer he gets, the more scare she feels. Her heart was beating faster than ever. She would hear her breath and then all of the sudden her breath got stuck. She didn't even felt her heart beating. Her mind went blank, Armaan was sitting next to her close to her. Very close. ""Riddhima"" with a emotionless voice she called her. ""Are you happy?"" She didn't expected him to ask that. She wasn't prepared for it. Her mind wasn't working already thanks to the proximity. She didn't know how to answer him and before she could understand anything he left, left her alone for the whole night. She waited for him but he didn't showed up until next morning before leaving for the work.
Ignoring all of her thoughts she began to read the next page.
""I don't really know what made you said yes to this marriage but you're not happy about it. I could sense the uneasiness you were in. I thought you weren't happy about it but Rahul said that all the girls feel that why on their first night. I am very bad in understanding others, I usually feels that people around me are not very happy with me. I don't why I had this in my mind but no matter what I do I am just not able to convince myself. Rahul doesn't know anything about our relationship. All he knows is that I haven't confessed my feelings to you. He doesn't understand- I have tried but failed."" Another few pages she read. She the next day of their marriage no breakfast table. Rahul was whispering something in Armaan's ear and then Armaan just shook his head. He had a slight blush on his checks. Maybe this is what they were discussing about-His confession. She started reading again.
""Maybe you don't realize, but the way you stare at me every morning when I came out of shower with only towel wrap around me, it makes me feel good, make me feel special like all the workouts, all the efforts actually worth. The way you can't take your eyes off my body, the way you blush thinking about me. I take extra long on my body lotions and deodorant so that I can see you staring at me. Everyday, I wish to walk to you, touch you, let all your fantasy came true but everytime something stops me, like my legs doesn't know how to walk. Like my mind doesn't know how to show you my feels, let you know about my intentions.
I do talk to you when you are in your sleep but I couldn't speak a word when you are wide awake. When you can understand what you mean to me.
None of this is your fault, this relation isn't your mistake. Its me. I am at the fault. Everything is my mistake. I don't know how long we can go like this, and I am afraid that you will start hating me, cursing me for all the damage I have cause.
I am not strong enough for that. I can't see you in pain because of me, I can't let you hate me.
That's why I decided to give you a option.""
Riddhima stops there. She wasn't happy about the fact that Armaan is in guilt because of there relation. Surely she never understand him, she was always curious to know why he doesn't accept her. Only if she could understand him before. Only if she was good enough as a wife to know her husband's feeling. How can she not notice the love he had in those brown eyes of his. How can she ignore the efforts he make to keep her happy. His gifts, complimenting her for all the small things she do for him and best of all, his never complaining attitude. The night before he was leaving she remembered making a scene out of it, shouting at him, crying and complaining. But he didn't said a word back, he kept packing his stuff. Maybe she had hurt him immensely when she said she will be leaving him, forever. Maybe this is why Armaan had written down all his feelings.
But she wasn't every optimistic about the part where he said he was giving her a choice. What kind of choice does he meant?
The curiosity was getting stronger, she couldn't help but to read further
""You can leave me Riddhima, you can go back to your parents and let them know that you will never came back to me. I will explain everyone that I am at fault, let them know the truth that I am not good enough, that you deserve a person who can make you feel special, can shower his love to you, can tell you how much he loves you. I will be the happiest person when I could see you in peace, when I could sense that you got what you deserve. I hate to see the pain in your eyes, I hate to see to upset about this marriage. It kills me slowly steadily. It makes me weak, weaker then I have ever felt. I hate that feeling. Feeling that makes me hate myself for hurting you so much. To cause you undeniable pain. I am sorry Riddhima, Maybe I can never tell you this in person, but each word I have written is nothing but truth.
And by time I would return and find you at your parents place. I will get my answer. But if you stay, I will make sure to pamper you, to make you happy, to erase all the pain I have caused. All I need is a chance. A chance to show my love for you. But only you have a right to decide that.
I love you
Armaan.""
Tears flow down from her eyes as she finished reading. Was she that bad towards Armaan that he believes she wants to leave. She will never to that. Not even in her wildest dream.
Her stomach starts to hurt like some cyclone was forming inside. She kept the book aside and hold her stomach. There so many thoughts she was having but none of it so straight. Everything seems to mixed. All the moments she had spend in Malik house. Each and every action of hers. Maybe its not the family maybe it her. She wasn't happy about the marriage at the first place. Although she started liking Armaan from the day her eyes fell on him. But she is judgmental. She has already made a image of rich people, maybe she was just ignoring all the love, all the affection Armaan's family was giving her. She is that wrong?
Thoughts after thoughs. It seems like her mind would blow. Her head started spinning. Nothing seems right. She wanted to scream at herself. She wished to curse herself, punish herself for being a bad wife, a bad daughter in law.
Her thoughts were broken when she heard a knock on door. She slowly walked towards it to open. It was Dadi again. She had a plate in her hand ""pooja ke loye neeche ajao. Phir apbe ghar chali jana"" she heard her saying. ""Dadi"" a small broke voice came out of her throat ""sorry"" she mumbled. Dadi had. A puzzle look on her face, she looked at her as if she was an alien. ""Abhi ati hun"" Riddhima said and walked inside. She looked at the clock, it was 5 in the morning. The dawn has already broke. She saw a pale light entering inside the room. She quickly had a shower and changed in a clean saree which her mother in law has gifted her in one of the ritual. She didn't liked it, it was bright red, too bright for her taste but now she wants to prove herself as a worthy daughter.
Walking down the stairs she saw everyone tensed. As if something real bad is going to happen but no one spoke. Silently performing the prayer, completing all the rituals, Riddhima walked inside the kitchen, something she haven't done since last 2 weeks. She never thought of doing any house chores, there were so many servants for that. But after last night, she thinks she owe everyone a apology and preparing breakfast will be the first step.
Her mother in law followed her inside, it usually her preparing the breakfast in the morning but things are going to change now, change for good.
""Riddhima"" a surprised voice called her
""Ma"" Riddhima answered with a smile.
""Kuch chahiye tha?"" She questioned
""Nahi tho, socha aaj breakfast banalun. Itni subha koi kaam per ata nahi hai aur aap ko bana padhta hai""
""Mera tho raoz ka kaam hai, tum aaram karo. Abhi abhi tho shaddi hui hai""

""Ananya"" a voice interpreted their conversation. ""Abhi aai karan"" Ananya called back and walked out.
Riddhima started chopping the onions. How careless and misbehaved daughter she is. How it never occurred to her that her mother inlaw will need help in kitchen. She was lost in her thoughts when Dadi suddenly called her. Riddhima jumped a little, throwing the knife from her hand. ""Kya hua?"" Dadi asked with concern. ""Kuch nahi"" Riddhima replied with embarrassment. ""Packing hogai?"" Dadi asked, Riddhima shook her head in reply, something that Dadi didn't expected. ""Kyun?"" She asked with a hint of surprise in her voice "" kyun ke meh kahin nahi jarahi."" Riddhima's reply caused a smile on Dadi's face. She slowly moved out leaving her alone in kitchen.
Riddhima finally understand the love they all has for her. Their little gesture shows that they were concern for her. She smiled thinking about the unconditional love Armaan has for her. Now all she can do is wait for him to return so that she can let him know her love for him, let him know that she is ready to accept everyone whole heartedly

This OS is inspired by Humera's work on AR. Here OS-Tum dena saath mera is the reason behind my work.

Please ignore all the grammar mistakes especially the commas, I am really bad in putting commas even though I know how important it is .