Karna FF-Time Travelling in Mahabharata !!! (Completed) - Page 82

Originally posted by: shipreeta

The pleasure was all mine, BTW did you get a chance to see my PM? I have a long time to reach to your level but am at least starting

Originally posted by: angrani

Well All i can say is dhanyavaad for mentioning me in Epilogue

I never knew u wud remember me ...

Yes You are one of my first friend here ...
Oh...I m sorry J for reverting so late to your comment. Although I read when u posted it but thought of commenting later and then I got stuck up with some issues and rarely visited I-F
Why would I not mention you...though u came after long gaps but still you came and commented on every chapter and share ur view points which I enjoyed reading😳

You told me the intricaties of IF

so thanks for being such a daanveer
U r welcome dear 🤗

And reading my weird Fad of trying hand at a ff

which was crushed soon :)
But why did u stopped writing ur FF...however it is...u should have continued...I dont know what was the reason behind...if u discontinued becoz of low readership...then let me tell you I also started with low readership and gradually moved along & stretched the FF till the end. If u r not satisfied with how ur story is spanning out , start afresh with some twists and tweaks 😛

Well Eventually due to some unknown

reasons i come here rarely Perhaps love for Karn and Karnalis is the sole force of attraction
Yes...even I competed this FF all becoz of the encouragements from my fellow Karnalias...and love for KarnAham 😳

My Inbox is almost 100 percent full

I just tracked down ur story ...
Thank u dear...for prioritizing my PMs😳...even my Inbox is in same condition 😕

VERY LONG COMMENT AHEAD YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED WROTE IT IN 25 MIN.

Well the Last Chap.

And Epilogue was ... one word Unconventional
Thank u so much...I took a chance by tweaking the epilogue at the last moment

Perhaps not the traditional happy ending

as many others said
Yes...u r right...even if Swarnali was back to present...the ending would not be a happy one too. Death is a part of life cycle...so I kept this bitter reality in my story no matter how ,much we love a person can we defeat and take them from the grasp of death...but I kept a part of Swarnali at the end ...her daughter. So you can say that it was another beginning

But Believe me its one of the most beautiful ends i have seen

Do u read Paulo Colheo

Well the end is tragic but at the same time it is mystical ...

And Also a bit Skeptical...
I do have his books in my collection of to-be-read books...like the alchemist etc...but never had time to read one.
Yes...I thought to keep my story mystical and coming to skeptical...I am a bit skeptical person myself...I guess it reflected in my writings too

Its leaves readers with pleothra of questions

Did War happened if not what happened

It didnt happened acc to me as our vrishsen and chitrsen are alive Lil Swarna too :**
Well my intention was to keep it open ended...sothat after reading my readers do come up with questions or their version of synopsis...and I got the result I wanted whether it is positive or negative...there was interaction and I loved every part of it

But i must say it was a crime in my eyes to not to include Our Mrityunjay the pulse of the story in the End... I always wanted a Shib Karn Convo

But its your story

Shib_Karna Convo...well I never thought it will be crucial for the story for Shib to meet karna while searching for his daughter in the distant time space. I thought Swarnali being an independent and having a voice of her own articulating her thoughts and opinions and would like to take the responsibility of clearing the differences with her father. She is capable of it...does not need any 3rd person to get involved. I felt even Karn in my story likes Swarnali for this quality.

What I see in my story, Karn & Swarnali's life story did had an happy ending in chapter 22. Swarnali never left him to go back in her world...whatever arduous task came in their path after her revelation of Karn's birth...she will be by his side to face it. She decided he was her destiny. Epilogue was more of an effort to give a glimpse to their second generation.

The second last chapter where Swarnali sees krishnas forsight it was just magnificient mythical yet... there was some enlightment in it
I would like to confess that I was utterly confused whether to include the brief meeting of Swarna_krishna. Swarna was still not able to figure it out in her mind regarding Krishna being a mere clever strategist or there was divinity behind his masque of a Yadava Lord. But it did help her out to make the most important decision of her life. Krishna was believed to be responsible for changing the life-course of many imp. characters of MB and at last he did changed or partly influenced Swarna to make her right choice 😊

When Krishna says choose ur destiny ...

I will miss KarnKrishnSwarna Conversations

I still remember their picnic and first meeting with Kanha

When vrushali and Karn were full in love of her poems...
Poems and Vrushali have a deep connection
oh...that one hehehe😆...I thought of including romance betn KaVru...becoz they hardly get time to romance after the kids interupting them 😉 so Swarnali being a good buddy and a wife gave them a reprieve and took the kids away from them during the picnic 😳

Coming to last and second last chap

Swarnali gives up the idea of going to future

Though i Had done a prophecy

THAT SWARNA KARN WERE SEPERATE

SHE WILL GO TO FUTURE

But only one part proved right death seperated them

She didnt go to future when her own biological father comes to take her

Indeed she was not able to give up her love for her Utopian family which gave her all the love she craved for ...
I had two endings with different climaxes in my head...and I was wacking my brain which one I should go for... I started writing for Swarnali being taken by her father by chance in the present...but someone did comes back again to meet Karn but whether it was Swarnali or someone else...was a mystery. But I scrap that off and started with this one.

Oh i loved it u named Swarnali's child swarnali

In her rememberance ...
Actually I couldn't come up with any other name fit for their daughter...so why not Swarnali in remembrance of her mother and a dear wife/buddy to Karn😊

When The brothers encircle her and her archery feats loved it
I wanted to show a strong bonding of love, trust and possessiveness among the siblings and Junior Swarnali standing strong among her warrior brothers and what better way to show it than in an archery feat.

I loved the particular scene with Swayam

and Swarnali ( Mama and Bhanji!!)
Jr. Swarnali & Swayam are not Mama Bhanji...they are no way related...Swayam was just trying to make a conversation u know like boy-meet-a-sweet-girl-for-the-first-time-type 😳 and thats' why Vrishaketu who was closest to his sister was scowling at him 😆

It was so subtle yet striking

Then when Shib meets his Grandchildren
Erm...J...I think u mixed up the characters here...Bryan and his son Swayam time-travelled after 28 years. Shib was no where in the scene. Even when Shib came to collect his daughter...he never met his step-grandchildren nor her husband.

I wanted Angaraj there at that moment :'(

I am angry and bit sad u didnot include him

Why so harsh on him ...

I mean harsh on me by not including Radheya in Aftermath
Like I said before...the epilogue was more a glimpse of the next generation. I did thought of including Karn's silent presence watching his kids in a sporting competition...but the way the brothers reacted to protect their sister from the intruders would not have been much effective becoz Karn would question and decide Bryan & Swayam rather than Vrishasena, Chitrasaena and Vrishaketu. It was more about them...so I decided to keep their father in the background.

Well my fav chap is chap 10

the particular dialogue of Shona Bharata why r u still here .. Why are you going with a bow are u going on a war

I dont remember exactly

But swarna and adhirath were there

Swarna said Yes hes going for a war but a different type of war ...

Where bride will run away if she sees bow in his hands tonight
Oh...u still remember that...how can Swarna & Shon leave him alone to spend the wedding night without pulling his leg. And I m sure Karnalis must have enjoyed a bit of leg-pulling of their dear Angaraj 😳 😆

Then it was so cute a chapter only a innocent and pure mind can create such a innocent chap

and char. of vrushali

The first night where Vrushali in nervousness

put the kesar milk in his nose

Haha i am even smiling now remembering the scene i always imagine Aham and Nazea in it
Yeah...it was sugary sweet...sure to bring out giggles from the readers 😳 But even after a shaky start they did manage to spend a successful wedding night 😉

Then the second fav chap is chap 14

Haha u asked me that i never commented on steamy night of Swarnali ...

It is for this moment i waited patiently

I read that chap. again today ;))

Well the blanched hair to mystical phoenix

To digging of nails

I observed it all i was too ashamed embarassed to leave a comment back then but now i feel i should break the ice...

It was a very very Beautiful chap.

Erotic yet not vulgar there is a fine line between them u never crossed it

It was more of pure chap.
oh...I thought to write a completely different wedding night from the earlier one and u know discovering some new of each other on that special night ☺️

Then one more chap is hilarious Dushy and Swarna fight

And dushasans transformn.

after karna swarna marriage
Dushy-Swarna hand-to-hand combat part was a combined idea of two my readers and dear friends in I-F Madhu & Sansii...and I just penned them with my imagination of making Dushy a spolied Kuru prince. The transformation part well...I was thinking how to bring Dushy back to the story...after a rather black & blue start with the heroine of the story...but a discussion with another of my buddy here...Shipreeta gave me an idea of bringing him back transformed...I mean matured and he did approached and apologised to Swarna for his rash behaviour earlier.

pot bellied mamashree who can forget him...

though the official copyright here is with u
I always imagined Shakuni mamu as pot-bellied and cunningness gleaming in his eyes😆...I dont know why I did so...and praneet was a perfect face to fit in my pot-bellied shakku mamu with his signature style limp and one-eye shut expression

Then the picnic chap was a very very very extremely Innocent chap.

The way Swarna loves chitrasen n Vrishsen it really make me feel the nostalgia ...

My Niece and Nephew

Gaurik and Kashvi they are as sweet as cherubs mentioned in the story

Its 2 yrsi have not met them due to college and state differences so this story kind of strikes my love for them so extremely close to my heart as i always visualise them.

They always fought for my kisses Bua give me more kisses no u are being biased bua

anyways coming to ur story
I m glad that my story made you re-live the sweet memories of ur dear niece & nephew 😳

Bheem and Karn the dialogue btwn them

when bheem says he is not at all intersted in visiting suta kingdom

Karn retorts that bhimsen must hunt food somewhere else ..
They did give each other the cut-direct and Karn was known to give sarcastic retorts.

Epic scene !!

Well in real mahabhrat bhim called karn a low born dog so bhim is not the best pandav acc to me i just like him for he and krishn were the only ones who fought for Panchalis revenge

Rest Yudhistir Fought for kingdom and Arjun for the Same ... and to satisfy himself as world great warrior which he did in some hearts
Well..yes...I agree with you but in terms of Arjun...he still mystifies me in some reasons

First chap is the best !! For me

When Radha ask what this skinny cloth u r wearing haha
😆

And Karn in chap meeting with royals ask whats honeymoon

it was a pure delight
Naughty me...😉 😆

Bhanumatis labour to double talks of Karna duryodhan A vivant bhanumati her jokes of snores ur take on ur Parents combined snoring hilarious ! XDXDXDXD
hehehe...yeah...I really enjoyed writing that Hastinapur chapter 😛

The twins Lakshamn Lakshmana

A beautiful pal like Suyodhan thanks for showing the side of dury whose not just a revengeful cousin

But a loving Husband A father and a great frnd !!
Yes...he had some good qualities too...but some does not want to see the other side of the coin and many percieve him as the ultimate villain. If he was a black character than Pandavas were not white too they all had some dark traits...they were humans...some actions and decisions tended to be either right or wrong

Then the fiery clashes btwn the modern swarna to Yagyaseni was beautifully portrayed
Yes...the woman of today and the woman of that era is bound to create such an explosion

I love the chap when swarna enters and tell karns origin.

I wonder if the real mb was like that we would not have a char. like Karn . unwanted child to the craved warrior everyone can compare to his life everyone wants a PAL LIKE HIM

IN MY CASE I WANT A LIFEPARTNER LIKE HIM BUT OFCOURSE WITHOUT CURSESAND

THE ALLEGIANCE TO HASTINAPUR and he should take Vows like Karn that be too much !
I would not like to change much in him if he's a life partner...excepting the part of him invovled in insulting Drau in Dice game and that still is in controversy...of actually what happened during the dice game and who said what to whom...as many were interpolated. But still considering the popular known notion that he did burst out Drau during the dice game after she was staked...I would like to change that part. Regarding curses...what can I say...I think those curses in Karn's life were major obstacles which altered his life in a bigger way...as a human/ life partner he may face other obstacles too.

Karn Princeling without a pedigree i wrote a blog on it read it if u get time will give u the link only if u come on twitter

Ok thats gr8😛...can u send me the link...the thing is that I rarely visit twitter

You evolved as a funny innocent writer to a tragic and mystical one

A GREAT ONE LIKE KARN INDEED !!
Hehehe...thank u dear 😳...yes I started on a lighter note...since that is what I imagined...but I knew the end will be a uncoventional one...or some sort of tragic will be involved.

Anyways lets talk on twitter do u watch devlok with devdutt pattnaik i am in love with the show
Nope dear...I stay in a woman's hostel. Though there is a TV in the dining room, I hardly watch it. When I visit home...sometimes I used to watch TLC & Fox Life...not any other shows

I also watch Suryaputr karn it was bit uneven at first but gradually with karns marriage and now his curses it takes a new turn i love the way supriya is portrayed ...

There is this dialogue of SPK I WANT TO SHARE WITH U

When supriya is there in front of him and in his arms there is newborn vrishketu

Karn is leaving for Digvijay

And

He says Supriyaa take care of our child

Usse Karn mat banane dena

Hamare Putr ko samay aane par vachan todna bhi sikhana taaki

Ek stree ke maan ko woh bacha sake ..
I used to watch SPK...earlier...but the production house botched up the script and did not like the way the adult Karn's character was later scripted...nor did I like the casting here...Gautam is a good actor but somehow I found him as a misfit as Karn in the show & same goes to Dury. Shaleen is gud in playing negative roles...but not suitable to play a mythological character like Dury...sometimes there was too much drama. And dont ask about Shakuni...his expressions makes me wonder...what inspired him to give such facial expressions...I felt both laughing and ranting 😆

Anyways will wait for ur reply !!

will always miss u my first pal here
I know I am pretty late...but I so enjoyed reading such a beautiful detail review for my FF 😳

This story will always stay close to my heart

I have paid attention to each chap just like

Swarnali studies karns kavach ;)

Therefore its a Looong Comment

Hope u didnt slept while reading

Came after a more than a year so a breakout
Thank u for staying with me and for being part every chappy 😳

And one more thing Thank u for including Ashwathama which most writers even dont include but he is more a divine archer than a Gem borned Person He is One my Favs :))
Yeah...I feel that too..thats why I have included him no matter how small part he has in my story 😊

Bhishm and Vyasa talks and characterisation well done

Kunti perfect !! Just like she must be
Thank u 😊

CATCH U ON TWITTER

I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE MOST LONG YET REMEMBERED COMMENT OF THY FF :P
Yeah...I will cherish all these comments too. Twitter ok...I may visit sporadically. Right now I am working on my blog/website too. Will send u a link via twitter once its done 😊

Your Sakhi and fellow Karnali Ahamian

JyotsnaSharma /Karnali/Angarani

Hemangi di is Best !!

Swarnali :'))

Thank u so so much for such a sweet, long and detailed comments. I really loved reading it.
Love u for staying with me till the end of this wonderful journey with Karna & Swarnali 🤗 😳