AR: Ricochet [Thread #2: Page 1/150] - Page 17

Chapter 3: Anchorage

Anchorage. n. The desire to hold on to time as it passes, like trying to keep your grip on a rock in the middle of the river, feeling the weight of the current against your chest, while your elders float on downstream, calling over the roar of the rapids, "Just let go – it's okay – let go."

Long Island, New York City, Present

When Armaan breaks up with Brittany he doesn't get cranky and watch reruns of his favorite show while getting drunk. He doesn't even snap at Tracy when she calls him up about an upcoming board meeting. He absolutely does not drunk dial his ex-girlfriend. Except, he totally does.

Thankfully she doesn't pick up. But hours later when he's hungover and has a massive headache and the entire world is just too fcuking bright for him to see, he does receive a text.

You called? -B

By mistake, sorry. - A

No worries. -B

Are you okay, Armaan? -B

He doesn't reply.

----------

Southern California Institute of Architecture, Los Angeles, California, seven years ago

"Armaan you're smashed, man."

"Shuddup Abhi. And stop judging me. I'm getting judgemental vibes via Skype, saale."

"Have you stopped drinking yet?"

"Yeah man, I'm not smashed, just tipsy okay?"

"If you say so."

"I do."

"Good. You may now kiss the bride."

"That was a crap joke you dick. I just got dumped by Simran."

"Sorry." He doesn't look sorry at all.

"I will forgive you, but only because I'm magnanimous."

"If you can still say words like magnanimous then I'm not too worried about your drunken stupor."

He flips Abhi off.

"Also where the hell have you been? It's been radio silence for the last two months, man."

"Aww Armaan baby, are you worried about me?"

"Screw you, saale."

"Nah, I've been busy with exams and shit. Nikki and I both."

"Speaking of, where is she?"

"She's got a lecture right now, extra credit or something."

"Hmm. Have you asked her out yet, Mr. So Single You Could Be A Monk?" He snickers when Abhi scowls at him.

"That is the exact description of your life between Hayley and Simran."

"Lies and slander. I saw people!"

"Seeing people when you're touching their genitals and then never seeing them again doesn't count as dating, Armaan."

"And just for that, I'm signing off now."

But he's smiling because it feels good to have talked his best friend after so long.

----------

It's three in the morning and he can't sleep. So he loses himself in the market reports, the financial statements, the statistics, and the numbers. Because if there's one thing he likes about his "new" job wherein he had to leave designing and focus on running the firm, it's this. This part, where he's allowed to isolate himself and delve into mathematics and do simple, effortless calculations that use up all his thinking space till he sees nothing else.

Ninety minutes later, he is mentally exhausted to a point where he's sure his brain is leaking out of his ears. He (somehow) manages to text Tracy that he'll be at the office two hours late, that she is to show Brittany her office (she'd resigned as his PA and gone back to the interior designing department because she needed space from him. From them, and that she's his new PA. The fact that he receives an Okay, Mr. Malik. Consider it done. at four thirty in the morning leaves no doubt in his mind that he's made the right choice.

He brushes his teeth (because it feels like something died in his mouth) and toys with his phone, wondering if he should text Brittany. It was him who initiated the break-up.

I'm sorry. –A

It's okay Armaan, I think we both knew where this was heading; we just didn't want to say it. –B

Yeah. Yeah, I think we did. Are you okay? –A

I will be :) Take care of yourself. Can I have a week's leave? I need to clear my head and I was thinking I might take a break with a few girlfriends... –B

Of course Brit, you don't have to ask. You can have more than a week...it'll be a paid leave. –A

You don't have to feel guilty about this Armaan, stop trying to fix it. Also, that would be unprofessional. I'll take the week, I have pending vacation days anyway. –B

Okay, see you next week then. Or not. I don't know what the protocol is, here. :P –A

That's 'cause you're an idiot. Go to sleep, I'll talk to you next week. –B

'Night :) –A

'Night. –B

His last conscious thought is we'll be okay, before he's dead to the world.

----------

Malik Associates, New York City, Present

He's only just switched on his laptop when Tracy comes in looking a little frayed around the edges.

"Okay, I've got your entire schedule with me here, would you like me to read it or should I draft a copy and mail it to you?"

"Read it out. First things first, though. Sit."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Have a seat, Trace, and pour yourself a cup of coffee."

"Are you...going to fire me, or something?"

"Of course not! You just look exhausted, that's all. Have some coffee, take a breather and then we'll run through the schedule."

"Alright, thank you Mr. Malik."

"Am I ever going to convince you to call me Armaan in the office?"

Her lips twitch in an answering smirk. "Maybe someday."

Five minutes later, she's ready to go and fires his schedule off at top speed.

"Okay, first up, you told me to show Brit her cabin but she hasn't showed up today. Ms. Gupta called to inform she might be a little late due to traffic and also to remind you about her contract? Your first appointment is with Mr. Adams, he's not very happy with his house. He's accused the firm of using second grade material and is threatening to file a lawsuit. I've penciled you in for lunch with Mark in finance, he wants a word. You have a board meeting from four to five forty-five at the conference room on the second floor, don't be late. And that's it, unless you'd like me to add something?"

"No, this is perfect. Ah, Brit's on a week's leave, so cut five days from her pending vacation days; Ms. Gupta's contract is with Tyler, he has it ready, ask him to send it to me. Remind him to make copies. I've had the site checked out, I don't think Adams has anything on us; he's just looking for money. Get one of Tyler's guys to deal with him and we don't want a settlement so ask him to keep that in mind. Confirm lunch with Mark and ask him to get this year's budget, we've gone overboard in these last few months, I want to check what's wrong. Confirm the board meeting as well but cut back the time by at least half an hour. Also, I'll be having shawarma for lunch today, so place the order at the deli two blocks away, and let Mark know about it."

"Will that be all, Mr. Malik?"

"That'll be all, Tracy."

----------

He hears the two perfectly timed knocks before the voice.

"May I come in?"

"Yes, please. Take a seat, Riddhima."

"Good morning!"

He can't help but smile at her eagerness on a Monday morning. At least someone's having a good time.

"'Morning! Uh, here's your contract. There are two copies, you'll have to sign both. Sign everywhere where there's a cross. One copy will be with us and you can have the other for yourself. If there are any changes that you'd like to make, ask Tracy to get you in touch with Tyler, he's the firm's lawyer; he'll take care of it. That'll be all. We look forward to having you here...Just Riddhima."

And her answering laugh makes him feel a little better. Just a little.

"I look forward to working here, as well! Once I'm done signing, will you show me the new project, or should I ask someone else?"

"I'd have showed it to you myself, but I've got zero space in my schedule today so I've given it to Tracy. She'll show you the project, get you acquainted with the team you'll be working with and then you can start on it. You'll be working solo, as per your contract but we'll get you to meet our team nonetheless. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks Armaan! I'll take the contract to my cabin. Have a nice day!"

"You too! And please don't hesitate to let any of us know if you need anything."

"I won't."

She leaves the office and he relaxes back in his chair, closing his eyes for a bit. Somewhere he feels bitter towards her because she was what made him realize that things with Brit were never going to be the same. He recalls their first meeting, and the faint stirrings of attraction that he'd felt. That did it for him. He's been in relationships before and appreciated a woman for her intelligence, beauty and attitude. But this, this was different. He'd felt attraction. And then he knew it really was irreconcilable with Brit and that they were both moving apart and this thing between them had run its course. So he'd ended things. And now it felt different, weird. Like the kind of feeling you get when someone throws away this really old t-shirt of yours that you found so comfortable. It leaves you hollow, fills you with an ache that hurts every now and then with a painful twinge. So you try and hold on to whatever you had when everything around you is screaming let go but you don't because letting go would mean throwing away something that was safe, comfortable, home and you're lost without it.

Sooner or later though, the ice starts melting away, bit by bit until it's one with the water and you can't tell the difference between them anymore, and you realize, you had let go without noticing and the ache that you felt, that little spasm of pain every time you thought about her, has gone and everything you once had is nothing but an after taste that lingers for a short time, before it too, fades away.