My first ff... ONCE IN A BLUE MOON - Page 4

Created

Last reply

Replies

54

Views

6.5k

Users

8

Likes

31

Frequent Posters

sapphirose176 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#31
chapter 7- UNVEILING THE PAST

Vishnu seated himself comfortably inside the car and asked the driver to take the car to the Rathore Mansion. Seated beside him,
Rajeev could hardly believe all that was happening and had no clue about what was going in Vishnu's mind. Rajeev, a living example
of the power of nature, had lived for centuries. He was initially Bhadrabhatt, Acharya Chanakya's loyal student who he had appointed
to see that no one in ancient India ever came to know about the KARMAKS and their powers. Chanakya feared that their sacred powers would
be misused by the kings, knowingly or unknowingly. Therefore even Chandragupta Maurya had no clue about his teacher's most valuable
knowledge. The Karmaks were indebt to Chanakya who protected their secret. According to many Karmak people, Chanakya too possessed
some of their incredible powers mostly intellectual. But it was never known whether it was true or not because Chanakya did not live
to answer that question.

Whatever might've happened in the past, there was no way to know the reality. Vishnugupta had been told by his Grandpa that Rajeev
would prove useful in accomplishing the mission. Rajeev was most certainly helpful for what Vishnu had read in his grandpa's diary that
all had been witnessed live by Rajeev. Vishnu respected Rajeev who despite being centuries old , looked only a few years older than Vishnu.
That was magic in its best form, immortality in a mortal form.

Rajeev could've acted as a mentor to Vishnu but Vishnu's uncanny and striking resemblence to Chanakya demanded only respect
towards Vishnu. Therefore Rajeev was more of a friend-cum- manager-cum-secretary-cum-PA. Rajeev had known Harshvardhan Rajvansh and
Vikramaditya Rathore atleast from a distance. Rajeev admired the network of allies and friends that Vishnu had, just like Chanakya.
En route to the Rathore Mansion, Vishnu was in deep thought.

Rajeev: Acharya? aap kis vichar mein khoye hai?
( Vishnu had told him to just address him by his name but Rajeev would never listen. he kept believing that it was his acharya who had taken a rebirth.
so people normally gave them strange looks when they heard Rajeev addressing Vishnu as 'Acharya')

Vishnu: haa wo unke ghar ja rahe hai to koi uphaar to lena hi hoga unhe dene ke liye.

Rajeev looked at Vishnu as if he had gone mad or he was out of his mind. They were going to the Rathores to give them a lifelong
1000MV shock and this person was talking about gifting them! What 'gift' they were about to deliver was sure to last them for years.

The car entered the street along which the house of the Rathore's was situated. Vishnu asked the driver to stop the car and thanked him for his service
and told him to convey his regards to his boss. Vishnu and Rajeev walked to the gate of the mansion and entered the garden surrounding it.
A girl of about 12 was playing in the garden with a stick of wood that was afire. The stick flew out of her hands while playing and
landed near Vishnu's feet.
Rajeev was startled and he began shouting at the girl", tumhe dikhai nahi deta inhe abhi kuch ho jata to?"
The girl came running towards them and said," hamein maaf kijiye. hamara aapko koi nuksaan pohochane ka uddesh nahi tha."
She picked up the stick and with her hands only she extinguished the flames. Rajeev's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out.
"yeh yeh tumne kaise kiya?"he stammered. the girl was not hurt .
Vishnugupta gave a satisfied smile. looking at him the girl asked," aapka parichay?" Vishnu replied," Prof.Vishnugupta Aryaa aur yeh
hai Rajeev. Hum yaha aapki dadiji se milne aaye hai."
The girl looked at him in astonishment.
Vishnu: aapne aapna parichay nahi karvaya.
Girl: hamara naam Agnishikha hai. Vibhutimala devi ki pothi hai hum.

Agnishikha led them inside and called out to her mother and grandmother. Her mother Nivritti Rathore came down the stairs. She was
a heavily pregnant woman of about 30-31 who had recently lost her husband.

Nivritti: kya hai Agnishikha? are yeh kaun hai? aap please baithiye na.

She made Vishnu and Rajeev sit in the comfortable sofa of the huge hall of the house. She asked them about their visit and they told that
they had come to meet Vibhutimala ji. Just when Nivritti was serving them refreshments that Vibhutimaladevi came.
Vibhutimala devi was a tough woman of about 60 yrs. she was strict and demanded discipline form everyone.

Vibhutimaladevi(VMD): agnishikha apne kamre mein jao aur padhai karo. parikshayein nazdeek hai.
aap kaun? hamne aapko pehchana nahi.

Vishnu: hum Vishnugupta Aryaa hai, KARMAK samaj ke antim MahaAri ke pothe. (and he waited for her reaction while carefully analysing
her expressions)

VMD's face turned pale and all of a sudden it turned bright red because of uncontrollable anger.
VMD: (shouting) aapne yaha aane ka dussaahas kiya kaise? humare pariwar ka aapse ya aapke 'samaj' se koi nata nahi hai.
Vishnu: aapka humse to nata nahi hai parantu abke paschat hoga.(he replied ignoring her anger). kadachit ye aapke pariwar ki amaanat
hai?

He took out a heavy thick wooden box which was closed form all sides but had a single knob at the side. VMD looked at him with angry confused eyes.
Nivritti looked on seated beside her mom-in-law. Vishnu slide the knob and the wooden frame slid revealing a beautiful antique precious
locket kept inside a semi-transparent glass box.
VMD n Nivritti (together): the ARTIFACT?????
Both of them were dumbfounded and couldnt believe their eyes.
Vishnu enjoyed looking at their bewildered faces .
Vishnu(smiling a full smile): Koi sandehh??

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Patrarekha thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#32
quite long part but i could guess the thing..nivriti is i think moora..
justjayati thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#33
new ff??? all the best yaar!! 😊 n i really miss IF now!! especially writing FFs. 😭 may be i wont be able to read this entire FF.. extreme apologies for that dear!😭 but i wish u all the best for this new beginiing .. interesting plot dear! n do complete this FF!😊 go for it👍🏼
sapphirose176 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#34
thank you so much jayati di and aru di for commenting!! you made my day😃
Patrarekha thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#35
dear if the forum gets locked post this ff on fan fiction forum
123poorva thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#36
its big...but nice!!..gud try
\👍🏼
sapphirose176 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#37
thanks yaar for ur comments. i'll try to update soon.😊
sapphirose176 thumbnail
Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#38
CHAPTER-8

After taking their reactions in consideration, Vishnu continued.
Vishnu: mein yaha apse kuchh maangne aaya hu.
VMD(frowning): kya chahiye aapko? hamse apekshaye mat
rakhiye. hame aapse ya apke samaj mein kisi
se koi rishta nahi rakhna.
Nivritti(interupting): agar hum apki koi madat kar sakte hain
to hum avashya karenge.
Vishnu: Agnishikha.
VMD+N(shocked): kya???
Vishnu: ha Agnishikha. mere dadaji ne apke dadaji
Vikramaditya aur unke mitra Harshvardhan Rajvansh
inhe aashirvaad diya tha ki unke pariwaaron mein hi
vo do maseehe janm lenge. aur--
VMD: ashcharya hai ki aap punarjanm nein vishwas rakhte
hain. humara ispe koi vishwas nahi hai. aur apne soch
kaise liya ki agnishikha vo ho sakti hai. use to is vishay
mein kuch pata nahi hai. hum use isse door rakhna
chahate hain.
Vishnu: aap shayad use uski vyaktitiva se alag rakhe par
aap usse uski shaktiya nahi cheen sakti. maine
swayam use un shaktiyonko ajmate huye dekha
hain. mujhe aapko batane ki zaroorat to nahi hain ki
shaktiyon ko niyantran mein na rakha jaye to uska
parinaam kya hota hain.
(VMD's husband and her son (nivritti's husband) had no control over their anger and emotions which led to destructive consequences of their powers. normally emotions dont trigger any burst of power but since they were Rathores by birth, they had greater power in their blood)

Niv(with painful voice): apne pati ko khoya hain ab apni beti ko nahi khona chahti. bataiye aapko kya chahiye.

Vishnu: mein chahata hun ki agnishikha gurukul mein uski umra ke baki bachhon ke sath rehkar apni shaktiyon ka sadupayog karein. mere gurukul mein karmak samaj ki nayi peedhi ko unke astitva aur shaktiyon se avgat karke unpar niyantran karna sikhaya jaata hain. kahiye kya aap use gurukul bhejengi?

Before VMD could say anything Nivritti agreed.
Vishnu: uttam. main usse is vishay pe baat karna chahta hun.

Nivritti called agnishikha and asked her to show the guests the garden of the mansion. Agnishikha was more than happy to do so. as the only child she had never got much freedom . she was close to her father . after his demise
she was completely shattered but she remembered her promise to her father that she would take care of herself and her mom and sibling who would arrive soon. Agnishikha led Vishnu and Rajeev to the garden and simply walked without talking.

Vishnu: agnishikha tumhe pata hai ki tum khas ho.
A: ha papa hamesha kehte the ki main anya ladkiyon se aur ladkon se alag hu aur vishesh hu.
V: tumhe pata hai kyon?
She did not reply.
V: tum kuchh der poorv khush thi . ab kya hua?
A: hum jabhi bhi akele yaha hote hai to accha mehsoos karte hain. aur kabhi kabhi humse kuch ajeeb cheeze hoti hai.
V(curious): jaise?
A(she was talking to herself): jab hum gusse mein hote hain to hamse vastuyen toot jati hai. hum unhe todte nahi lekin vo - hum pata nahi kaise-
V: main samajh sakta hun. mujhse bhi aise hi hota tha. kuch vishesh log hi aisa kar sakte hain. tumhare pitaji bhi unmein se ek the.
A: Siddhh kijeeye.
Vishnu held his hand straight pointing towards a tree and many fruits fell down with the motion of his hand.
she stopped walking and turned to face vishnu.
A: aap keh rahe hain ki jo kahaniya papa hume sunate the aur jo jadoo vo karte the vo sach mein asli hain??
V:kahani?
A: ha vo kehte the ki humein jadoo karna sikhayenge aur hamare jaise anya vishesh log bhi hai.
V: Tumhe yeh janne ka adhikar hain ki tumhare paas aur tumhare pariwar ke sabhi logon ke pas yeh shaktiyan thi. meine tumhari maa se tumhe mere gurukul ane ki anumati dene ke liye manaya hai. vaha tum apne hi jaise anya janonse milogi. vaha hum tumhe sikhayenge ki kaise apni shaktiyon ka upayog achche kamon mein karna hai. tumhara uttar kya hai?
A: hum kabhi apne maa aur dadise door nahi rahe hai. papa ke jaane ke baad mujhe maa ka khayal rakhna hoga aur mein papa ko diya hua vada nahi todna chahti.
V: tumhe bata doon ki tumhare pita apni shaktiyon pe niyantran kho chuke the au isi kaaran unki akaali mrityu hui hai. tumhari maa tumhe nahi khona chahti isiliye tumhe gurukul bhej rahi hai. tumhare pita bhi yahi chahte honge.
A: agar maa ne swayam kaha hai to theek hai hum avashya ayenge.

Vishnu and Rajeev left the place feeling satisfied. vishnu did not part with the artifact knowing that he would hand it over to its right owner only after it is proven.

After agnishikha had left, Vibhutimala started shouting at Nivritti.
VMD: Tumne agnishikha ko bhejne ka nirnay khud liya
kaise?tum kya janti ho iss gurukul ke vishay mein , batao nivritti!
N(meeting the furious and fuming eyes with her own tearfilled): hume zyada nahi pata maaji parantu hum yeh jaante hain ki hum apni beti ko nahi khona chahte. humne hamare pati ko khoya hain aur hamare anewale bachche ne apne pita. hum jante hain ki ap anumati nahi dengee parantu hamein yeh agnishikha ke liye larna hoga. uske pita hote to ve bhi yahi chahte. unhe unke astitva par garv tha jo ki apko ya kisi aur ko nahi tha. agar aaj ve jeevit hote to ve avashya chahte ki agnishikha ko vo mauka mile jo unhe kabhi nahi mila ya unhe milne nahi diya.
VMD: Tum kuchh zyada bol rahi ho nivritti. kya tum nahi jaanti ki aisa karne se kya hoga? tumhe kya lagta hain ki hamare saas aur unki saas ne apne beton ko iss sabse door kyon rakha? kyonki yeh hame sirf haani pohchayga aur kuch nahi. yeh hamara faisla hai ki agnishikha gurukul nahi jayegi.
N: par maaji aap samajhiye. mein vinati karti hun--
"hum gurukul avashya jayenge."
Agnishikha had heard the entire convo.
A: agar papa hote to vo hume jane ke liye kehte. hum jayenge. please dadi maan jaiye na. hum apko vachan dete hain ki hum aisa kuchch nahi karenge jo apko lajjit ya apmanit kare.

VMD had to give in and she finally agreed.


Vishnu and Rajeev kept walking down the road while vishnu was in deep thought.
R: Acharya hamara kaam to poorn hua. ab kya?
V: koi karya abhi shesh hai.
R: parantu jis karya se hum aye the vo to ho gaya. kya reh gaya?
V:(giving a excited smile): UdayveerRajvansh bhi isi sheher mein rehete hai na?
Rajeev nodded.
V: unhe koi potha to nahi?
Rajeev nodded slowly," Pratap naam hai uska.par apko yeh kaise pata maine to apko kuchchh batane ke poorv hi apko yeh kaise pata chala?
V:(giving a satisfied smile) phir to nischit roop se karya abhi shesh hai.


Edited by sapphirose176 - 12 years ago
123poorva thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#39
Hey..i really enjoyed readin dis hindiii...its awsumn!
Patrarekha thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
#40
love this update..its sounding like a bit harry potter to me..but its beautiful and very much interesting

hey give a character sketch please

atleast mention the actor's name for every character or which character they played in cgm

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".