Hey everyone!! I know it has been some time since I've updated but forgive me, I've been on vacation :). I'm having serious writers block at this point that it took me 45 minutes to update this. I updated as quick as I can!! I have off today for memorial day where I live so I thought, why not update today?? This one is for Sumi (xsumi), Deeps (onetwothree) and Prii (PriiDevi). I love you guys!! <3
*PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE BOTTOM!*
Shattered Part 4"No, no don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!" I screamed.
"Rani Sahiba, I don't love you, I never have. I love Khushiji. Not you. I tried to kill you. Come here, I can never be with Khushiji if you're here," Shyam sneered.
"No never," I said turning around. Running, I ran and ran for what felt like an eternity, until a hand clamped my mouth and I felt the cool surface of a knife on my neck.
"NOOO!" I screamed panting. I looked around and saw I was in my room. A huge wave of relief flooded through me. He couldn't hurt me anymore. He was gone, gone forever.
"Di, what's wrong?" Chotte said bursting the door open.
"Nothing, nothing, just a bad dream," I said still scared from my dream.
"Ok, do you want to wake up now?" Chotte said.
"Yes, sure. Let me shower and I'll be downstairs," I said forcing a smile on my face. How long would these dreams last? I couldn't take it. I grabbed a sari from my cupboard and walked into the bathroom. I undressed and stepped into the shower. As the warm water hit me I felt all my worries wash away. All the terrible moments of my life went down the drain. It was just me in my dreamland for that short amount of time. I knew that it couldn't last forever. I would have to face the moment. I wish I could just hide away, run away from everyone and be on my own with no worries to haunt me. I turned off the shower and walked out slowly putting on my sari. I walked downstairs and saw everyone staring at me.
"What.. what happened? Do I have something on my face? Why is everyone looking at me like that?" I asked descended down the stairs.
"Di, sit down, we have to talk," Chotte said as he helped me to my seat. This couldn't be good.
"Have something to eat first," Chotte said handing me a few rotis and dhal. I attacked the food at first sight.
"Anjali bitya, slow down puh-lesshh. The food won't run away," Mami joked. Everyone laughed at that. This is one of the times I'm grateful for my Mami.
"Di, there's something we should talk about. All of us believe it would be beneficial for you to go to therapy," Chotte finished. I nearly spit the food out of my mouth. THERAPY? This would be a 'what the' moment if I were Chotte.
"You want me to go to therapy? Why?" I questioned even though I knew the answer.
"Di, you've been through something traumatizing. Therapy will help relieve the pain. Have a look at this pamphlet," Chotte said handing me the pamphlet.
"You even have a pamphlet? How long were you planning this out?" I asked
"Di, seriously, we ALL think it would be best if you took a few sessions," Chotte said.
"Fine, give me some time to think about it. But don't think this means a yes," I said scowling. Was I that bad? That I needed to go to therapy? I stomped upstairs to my room in anger. How could they do this to me? As soon as I entered the room, I threw the pamphlet on my bed as though it was a piece of garbage and sat down. Maybe, if I look at the pamphlet...it won't seem so bad? I grabbed it from the bed and looked at it. At least the place the sessions were held looked nice. But I knew not to judge a book my its cover. I noticed they had a few different sessions. Including group sessions. Where you could share your feelings with someone who has been through something similar.
Someone has been through a similar situation. You mean, there's someone out there who married a gold digging liar who was in love with their babhi. Fat.Chance. Maybe just maybe the group sessions could be a change. Someone who would listen to me without being biased. Someone knew to talk to. And who knew, maybe I would meet my new best friend there. Suree...
Just then, Khushiji entered. She looked down not making eye contact with me. She was still riding the guilt train. That would have to change.
"Di, please don't be mad. We all only want the best for you," she said quietly.
"Come sit down, we need to talk," I said motioning her to sit down. She quickly came and sat down. I cupped her cheek and looked into her eyes. I saw pain and regret flood through.
"You think it's your fault don't you. You think you have caused all this pain. You think this all when you haven't done one think but be thoughtful and caring. You did it all for the sake of me. You kept this secret so I could lead a happy life while you lived with the misery of keeping this secret. You put other people's happiness first and endure the pain yourself," I explained.
"But Di... if I had told you before than-" she tried to say before I cut her off.
"Than what? You don't think I would have felt the pain before? I still would've," I said.
"Di, I'm so sorry," she said with tears perking up in her eyes. First Chotte, now Khushiji, I don't think I can handle this many tears.
"No no, stop, no sorry needed. And please don't cry. Because if you cry than I cry. If I cry than your husband is going to storm up into this room and create a ruckus seeing his two favorite woman in the world sob," I joked.
"Ok, ok no tears," she said wiping them away from her eyes.
"So, Di, have you- have you thought about therapy?" Khushiji tentatively asked.
"Yea, yes I have actually and I think I'll do it," I said smiling and nodding
"Sach?! That's great Di!" Khushiji said instantly perking up.
"Sachmuch. But on one condition. I do group therapy," I said.
"Group therapy... I don't think Arnavji would like that very much...," she questioned.
"I know. But I'll make him like the idea," I said.
"Let's go tell him now," Khushiji said standing up and holding out her arm for me.
"Sure, let's go," I agreed taking her hand into mine and getting up. We walked downstairs only to be greeted by my baby bhai himself. Oh this would take some time.
"Di, have you thought about it?" he asked.
"Yes...yes I have and I'll do it...," I said. That brought a special smile to his face. One that I treasure in my heart.
"Di I'm so glad you agreed. I'll call up the clinic and set up an-" he said in a hurry. I cut him off by putting a hand in the air to stop him.
"I never got to finish. I'll do it on one condition. I take part in group therapy sessions. I think that would help me even more," I said gulping. Here comes the blow.
"WHAT? Group therapy sessions? Why? No one else needs to know this has happened so why do you want to share it with others? You have gone completely pagal di," he argued.
"Chotte, I think it would help me to share my story with other people. I could finally get those feelings out," I tried to argue.
"You can talk to us about it. Not random strangers," he said.
"They won't be random strangers for long!" I said. "If you love me, if you care about me, than you would let me go through with group sessions," I finally stated.
"Fine. I'll call the clinic up," he flatly said.
*1 WEEK LATER*
The day had finally come. My first therapy session. Chotte and I had compromised and said I could do partner therapy sessions with just one other person. It was better than just me and an over compulsive, beady eyed therapist.
"Di, remember, when the session gets over, call me. If you ever feel uncomfortable, call me. When you get there call me. If you'd rather do private sessions call me," Chotte sneaked in.
"First of all, why don't you just come with me if you're going to be overprotective about this. You're the one who came up with this "genius" idea in the first place. And second, don't think I'll ever EVER agree to private sessions," I said.
"Di, you know I want to come drop you off but I have a really important deal closing," Chotte said grabbing his car keys. " Just call me. Ok?" he said finally.
"Ok. Bye! Remember to eat lunch or else your wife will go crazy if she finds out she didn't. Even after all these years, she never stops worrying for you," I said handing him the lunch box Khushiji packed.
"I know. I'm lucky," Chotte said looking into the distance as though is mind were elsewhere at that moment.
"Ok you're going to be, bye!" I said nearly pushing him out the door. I had 10 minutes to get ready before the time came to face the wrath of the therapist. Oh fun.
*At Therapist Clinic*
"Hi, I'm here for a partner session for 11:00. I'm Anjali Raizada," I said to the receptionist. My name felt plain without 'Jha' in it.
"Yes, we have you here. The room is down the hall and take a left. It has Dr. Kapoor on it," the receptionist said.
"Thank you," I said as I walked down the hall. The butterflies started in my stomach. What if the person I was working with hated me? What if they thought I was a weirdo? What was going to happen? I got to the door and took a deep breath before I knocked on the door.
"Come in," said a woman's voice. Well, at least the doctor was a girl. That would make things better. I walked into the room and saw two pairs of eyes analyze me. One was of a mans and another of a womans. The man stood up. He looked as though he was in a trance.
"Hi, I'm Sameer, I'm going to be your therapy partner," he said with a soft smile on his face. His eyes were large and hazel brown. He had a light skin complexion and his hair was spiked up a little in the front. He was wearing a red Polo t-shirt paired with jeans. He had his hand out to greet me.
"Hi I'm Anjali," I said softly. Maybe therapy wouldn't be so bad...
Ok that's it for now! Bakwaas... or... Was it too long?
Comment and Like Please :) I'm only asking for that much đ
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*NOTE*
Ok, some of you guys may be wondering "this anjali is sooo not like in the show". Well I meant it to be that way. I want Anjali to be a head-strong person who's also soft and sweet. People believe that the Anjali is only a cry-baby in the show which I don't think is right. The CVs don't really show Anjali's personality that much but I think if they showed her a little bit more, she would seem more strong.
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