OS: Remembrance Part 2 pg48 Aug16

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth

Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself

Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here

Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go

Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you

Maan was walking away from the construction site of his Noida project, or at least that is what he was telling himself. In reality, there was something else entirely that he was trying to escape. He didn't know what it was, but since his accident and his memory loss, his entire life seemed so off. While on the top, things seemed perfectly normal, he had a nagging feeling that so was not the case. His instincts were telling him that his family and his employees – who seemed to be walking on egg shells when he was around - were simply putting on an act and merely pretending that everything was just as they always had been. He trusted his instincts because they were never wrong in the past. Usually trusting his instincts solved his problems and answered his questions. However, that was not the case this time. This time, by trusting his instincts he felt like his problems were still unsolved and more questions came into his mind.

What irked him even more than anything else was this new girl he found to be part of his life – Geet. He'd been seeing her since he woke from his accident with no recollection of every encountering her in the past. Not only was she living at his house but she was also working in his office. In his first encounter with her, he was irritated. She had settled on serving him breakfast like he was some incompetent child who needed toast put on his plate. She had invaded his personal space which he was rather attached to. She dared to come into his room – his room! – as if she knew where everything was and as if she was expected to handle his things. She had called him 'Maan'… 'Maan'. She had the audacity to call him Maan as if he was her friend or old acquaintance. No one called him Maan- no one – not even family. Dadi called him 'Maan Beta', Dev called him 'Bro' and Anne called him 'Bhai'. When family his own family hadn't ever addressed him as Maan, who was she, an employee, to call him Maan. All employees called him one of two things, it was either 'Maan Sir' or as Nakul called him 'Chote Saab'. But here was this two bit girl calling him Maan. Maan!

What bothered him the most was that he couldn't seem to get away from the girl. She was there when he was at home, she was there when he was at work – she was always around. Any corridor he walked through, any corner he turned, she was there, always around – always. On the rare occasion that he did manage to get away from her, either his Dadi or his brother would send her chasing after him.

Today was the perfect example.

Maan had gotten to the office to find a cup of steaming hot black coffee accompanied by a smiling Geet. As soon as he saw her, his irritation towards her suddenly grew. He knew he needed to get away from her to clear his head so he'd made plans to visit the Noida site. It had been the project he'd been working on before his accident, or so that's what he remembered. Clearly the progress had halted and he wanted to get it back on track. He had just let Adi know that he would be working from the site when out of nowhere Dadi popped. Dadi insisted that he take someone with him just so she could rest assured that if anything happened there was someone there to help him. Maan had initially refused but he'd succumbed to Dadi's emotional blackmail, like he always did. His first choices had been Dev then Adi, both of whom said that they couldn't go because they had a presentation with the Agarwal's that afternoon. With the only other options being Geet, Pinky and the new kid Lucky. Maan's choice would have been Pinky but Dadi made up an excuse for her as well as Lucky. Last one left – Geet.

"Maan Sir…Maan Sir," he heard her calling to him.

He closed his eyes as her voice penetrated his hard shelled exterior. What annoyed Maan most about Geet was everything. Why? Because everything she did, everything she said, and everything she was had been embedded into his mind in the past few months.

As she walked to catch up to him, he could hear the tinkling of her payals as her feet touched the ground. The cham-cham sound of her payal's were like music to his ears. Her voice was like angels singing and even though he hated it when she called his name, a part of him loved it as well. He knew her voice, her body, her sent and her presence. Consciously or subconsciously he knew it all. It was like there was something inside of him screaming that he knew her, yet his mind couldn't comprehend how that was possible. He was torn between the reality he saw and the reality he felt.

When she was near him, he could feel his body react to her soft feminine curves and delicate features. When she mocked his anger and his attitude a part of him smiled at her courage. When she overcame all obstacles he'd set for her to fail a part of him felt proud. When he would leave her at the office and come home, he didn't rest until he saw that she was safely inside the house when she returned. When he saw tears in her eyes because of what he'd done, or what he'd said, he felt pain.

As much as he'd fought it, deep down he knew he was attracted to her and drawn to her. He admired the fact that in such a westernized society, she still wore salwar suits, jhumkas, bindis and payals. He enjoyed the fact that her beauty was accentuated by simple makeup that outlined her big, brown eyes and her sensuous lips. He even like the times when she talked to Babaji as if He was her close, personal friend.

"Maan Sir…rukiyeh," she called again.

Maan turned towards her to see her grasping at the flies in her arms that were about to tumble out of her hold. It was then that his eyes fell on two things that made her beautiful, ironically they were the same two things that put her off limits.

He was angry at himself for being attracted to her and for feeling for her. It wasn't because he was drawn to her or it wasn't because he wanted her. It was because he'd allowed himself, on some level, to fall for a woman…a woman he could never have. The black and gold beaded strings around her neck and the smear of red color on her forehead screamed only one thing – she belonged to someone else.

Every minute that he was in her presence, he was reminded that she belonged to someone else. He was reminded that someone else had his rights on her. He was reminded that someone else was the lucky one who was receiving her love. He was reminded that she shared her name with someone else. Maybe that was why even after three months, he had no idea what her last name was. He was afraid that if he attached a surname to her beautiful name, then the fact that she could never be his would be more real than it already was.

Maan was furious with himself that he'd allowed himself to fall the way he had.

"Maan Sir…please rukiyeh," she called.

"Maan Singh Khurana kissi ke liyeh nahin rukta," he said as he sped up his pace.

"Maan Sir…Maan Sir………………" she continued to call.

Maan tried to drown out her voice try as he might, it was impossible.

"Maan!" she yelled suddenly.

Maan stopped in his tracks as he heard the change in her voice and tone. Restlessness, a sense of worry and fear were unexpectedly present. He didn't realize where he'd stopped to look back at her, but when he turned he saw her running.

"Maan!" she yelled as she raced towards him.

As she got closer he could see the terror etched in her eyes. Confusion set in for him because he couldn't figure out why there was a change in her demeanor.

"Maan," she yelled one last time.

Then, out of nowhere, Maan felt her arms push him back as he landed with a thud on the side edge of the road just a split second before a truck came barreling towards her. Maan sat dumbfounded and watched helplessly as Geet flew up into the air after being struck by the truck.

As her body went into the air and then came crashing down, Maan's head began to spin as flashes of unknown moments with Geet filled his mind. As her body hit the ground with a thud his life flashed before his eyes and he remembered everything – everything.

The first time he'd seen her as she came running towards him when goons chased after her. The first time he'd saved her when she'd been drowning. The coldness he's shown her when she'd refused to sign over her property to him. It all came back.

The first time he's seen her in his office dressed in the green suit when she'd fallen into his arms. The first time he'd ever said sorry after yelling at her for a mistake he'd made. The first time he'd seen her in a saree looking like an angel. The first time he'd danced with her and held her close. It all came back.

The first time he'd realized he was falling for her. The first time he'd realized she was changing him. The first time he'd worried for her safety when he couldn't find her. The first time he'd pushed her away from him. The first time he'd insulted her. The first time he'd blamed her for the things in his life. It all came back.

The first time he'd realized her tears hurt him. The first time he admitted that he had feelings for her. The first time he said out loud that he needed her in his life. The first time he'd wanted to tell her he loved her. It all came back.

Her opening her heart to him only to have him misunderstand her. Her telling him about the dark secrets of her life. It all came back.

Him falling head over heels in love with her. Him finally admitting his feelings out loud to himself and to her. Him wanting to make their sham engagement a real one. Him finding out that his brother was the man responsible for the plight in her life. It all came back.

Every moment he'd hated her, every moment he'd loathed her, every moment he'd despised her. It all came back. Every moment he'd protected her, every moment he'd loved her, every moment he'd held it. It all came back.

The happiness of their relationship coursed through his body. The pheres they took, the vows they made. Their laughs, their smiles, their nok jhoks. Their dates, their honeymoon. It all came back.

The sadness of their relationship stung him like fresh wounds. The misunderstandings, the differences. The loss of their baby, the loss of his faith in her. It all came back.

Their love, their joy, their wedding, their sorrow – it all came rushing back.

"Geet," he whispered to himself as she scrambled to get to his feet.

A crowd had gathered around her so he couldn't see anything. When someone moved slightly, he saw red – her blood seeping onto the ground.

"Geet!" he yelled as he raced across the street.

His heart was stuck like a lump in his throat as he cut through the crowd to get to Geet – his Geet.

She was his and only his. She was the love of his life, she was his world, she was his everything. How had he forgotten her?

"Geet…Geet tumhe kuch nahin hoga Geet," he said as he took her into his arms.

She was bleeding so much he couldn't tell where the blood was coming from. All Maan knew is that the pool of blood that surrounded her was only getting bigger.

"Maan…" she murmured weakly.

"Koi ambulance ko bulao!" he barked out before looking back at Geet. "Tumhe kuch nahin hoga Geet…main hoon naa…"

It was at the moment that his eyes fell on the golden pendant that rested at the base of her neck – her mangalsutra. He let his eyes travel up to her forehead, to her parting – her sindoor. Then, as if it was some film, their entire wedding day flashed before his eyes.

It was then that he realized she belonged to him. He realized that only he had rights on her for she wore the mangalsutra and sindoor in his name. He realized that he was the fortunate one who was to receive all her love. He realized that she shared her name with him. He realized that her beautiful name was tied to his. Mrs. Geet Maan Singh Khurana – she was his Mishti.

He had ridden up on a white horse to rescue her. He had nearly beaten her brother dead to save her. He had comforted her in her sadness about the loss of her family. He had teased her, making her blush. He had reunited her with her grandfather. He had taken pheres with her. He had tied the mangalsutra around her neck. He had applied the sindoor to her maang. He had vowed to love her and cherish her. He had vowed to protect her and care for her. He had made her his.

"Geet main tumhe kaise bhul gaya?" he asked himself out loud. "Aapni Mishti ko main kaise bhul gaya?"

She opened her eyes weakly and looked at him, while she lay cradled in his lap.

"Mujhe saab kuch yaad aagaya Geet…saab kuch," he said. "Tum meri biwi ho, tum meri Mishti ho…tum Maan ki Geet ho."

A smile spread across her face as she whispered, "Maan…" and reached out to him.

He guided her hand to his cheek and held it there as he too smiled down at her. Her response to him gave him a glimmer of hope when suddenly she closed her eyes and her hand fell out of his.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geet had known that he was trying to get away from her, just like he had in the past before he'd admitted to his feelings. Geet found solace in the fact that though the man she'd loved had forgotten her, somewhere he remembered her because she could see the effect she had on him. It was a small consolation for being alienated from the one person that meant the world to you, but it was a consolation none the less. She knew he was fighting against himself and his heart because it told him that he knew her and that he was tied to her. She knew that he was using his arrogant, egotistical mind in dealing with her because that's all he knew. All he knew was to push away the people that challenged him and made him feel.

However, Geet wasn't just someone, she was Mrs. Maan Singh Khurana. She knew that one day or another her love would make him remember her and the beautiful life that they'd shared. She knew that one day or another her love would make him remember the trials and tribulations they'd overcome to be together. She knew that one day or another her love would bring her Maan back to her, where he belonged.

Whether it was emotional distance or physical distance, he was determined to put it between the two of them. Which is why he was stalking off ahead of her leaving her far behind. She'd called for him to slow down but he refused because the great Maan Singh Khurana stopped for no one. It made her giggle because little did he know that Maan Singh Khurana did everything and anything that Geet Khurana said.

She kept calling after him but got no response. She was about to stop to catch her breath when she'd seen the truck coming his way. She knew he was lost in his thoughts and not paying attention so she screamed his name to get his attention.

"Maan!" she yelled.

When he turned and stopped in the middle of the road, her heart stopped and she raced towards him. The files she held in her hand slipped out at the same time that her purse fell from her shoulders.

She sent a quick prayer to her Babaji to let her reach him in time to save him. The speed that the truck was coming at and its sheer size told Geet that anyone that got hit wouldn't survive the impact. She reached him just as she heard the tires screech. With all the might she could muster up she shoved him out of the way and a split second later she felt herself being thrown into the air.

She was surprised that she felt no pain as she hit the ground, regardless of the fact that she heard bones breaking – her bones breaking. She wanted nothing more than to get up and make sure that her Maan was ok but she couldn't move. She felt the crowd circle around her as a darkness took over her vision.

It was at that moment, like a ray of light, he called out to her.

"Geet!" she heard him yell.

She tried to clear the fog that was beginning to settle, but his voice became distant.

"Geet main tumhe kaise bhul gaya?" she heard him ask. "Aapni Mishti ko main kaise bhul gaya?"

Fighting with everything she had, she opened her eyes to see him looking down at her. In his eyes she could see that he'd changed. His eyes held the same warmth and love that her Maan's had held for her.

"Mujhe saab kuch yaad aagaya Geet…saab kuch," he said. "Tum meri biwi ho, tum meri Mishti ho…tum Maan ki Geet ho."

Hearing him say that, her heart smiled as she weakly reached for his face. When he touched her hand and guided it to his face, she felt his love and it filled her joy. He remembered her, her Dusht Dhanav was back, her husband was back – her Maan was back.

Maan ki Geet.

He was right of course, she was his Geet and his Geet only.

As she lay in his arms, bleeding, she was reminded of their wedding. She was reminded of the moment she had truly become Maan ki Geet. As she relived the best day of her life she remembered something and a smile spread across her face. She'd asked her Babaji for one thing and one thing only after she'd married Maan. And it filled her heart with elation knowing that Babaji had kept her prayer in His heart.

...baas issi tarha aakhri saans tak main aapni Maan ki saath rahoon...jaan nikle toh baas...inki bahoon mein...

Babaji had listened to her silent prayer and allowed her to take her final breath in the arms of the man she could never bare to lose.

"Maan…" she whispered one last time before the darkness took over her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a sad day for the Khurana's for they all stood dressed in white mourning the loss of their dearest Geet. Family and friends stood in wait around the wooden planks upon which rested the frail body of a once bubbly, loving and unwaveringly amazing woman.

Though there was a white sheet covering her body, the red garments she wore could be seen peeking out. She was dressed in her bridal attire and her bridal ornaments. Her mangalsutra was secured in place and the blood red sindoor marked its rightful spot.

A hushed silence fell upon the crowd as her husband Maan Singh Khurana approached the pyre with a blank look on his face. Everyone present knew how much he'd loved her, how much he'd cared for her, how much he'd respected her and how much he'd needed her. The heart of each and every person there broke at the thought that for the rest of his life he'd be separated from the woman who he loved so dearly. The heart of each and every person there broke at the thought that for the rest of his life he wouldn't have his Geet, his Mishti, by his side. The heart of each and every person there broke at the thought that he'd lost his sole reason for living.

As the pundit recited the final rights, his brother handed him the log that would set fire to his hopes, his dreams, his life and his heart. He walked away from his brother and approached the final resting place of his adored Mishti. The peace on her face was easily mistaken as that of an angel sleeping. His heart tore into a million pieces as he looked at the eyes that would never tease him again, the lips that would never call him Dusht Dhanav again and the cheeks that would never blush again.

Though she was cold to the touch, when his hand rested on her forehead he could still feel her warmth seeping through him, he could feel her love seeping through him. He leaned in and placed one last kiss on her forehead, allowing himself to linger for just a second.

"I love you Mishti…humesha," he said.

With that, he reluctantly took the burning log from his brother, and with an unsteady hand he touched the fire to the wood.

The flames surrounded the pyre as Maan focused his eyes on the beautiful face of his Mishti.

He had promised himself he wouldn't cry, that he wouldn't be weak in front of others. However, when the red hot inferno took over the entire pyre, enveloping her face into its depths, he broke his promise. Tears filled his eyes as he fell to his knees knowing that he'd never see his beloved Mishti again.

As the fire burned into the evening, no one gave a second thought to the devastated matriarch of the Khurana family – Savitri Khurana. They all knew that she not only grieved the loss of her grandson's wife, but also that of a daughter. No one questioned her tears or her pain. No one questioned the emptiness in her eyes.

No one knew that since Geet had died, one sentence – only one sentence – kept replaying in her mind like a broken record.

...Geet ki zindagi ka faisla toh ussi din hogaya tah...jis din woh Maan ki dulhan baani thi...ussi din saab kuch tai hogaya tha...Geet suhagan baanke iss ghaar mein aayi hai...aur suhagan baankar hi jayegi...

Tears clouded her vision as she tried to find comfort that even after such a troubled and painful life, Babaji had listened to the last wishes of one of his most loyal followers.

Geet had left this world just as she had wished. Geet had left this world as a suhagan. Geet had left this world as Mrs. Geet Maan Singh Khurana – just as she had prayed.

Come to me in my dreams, and then

By day I shall be well again

For then the night will more than pay

The hopeless longing of the day

JAZ