Originally posted by: *Huma*
Aru!!
alrite finally getting to your comment which i've loved reading. thank you Humzy😊
This was sort of structured as a prose poem; the meterical flow, the pace and the sort of reflection of an ordinary speech rather than the rhythmic flow and the normal verse structure of a poem. It was a beautiful read.. I was lost in the fact, that such a small gesture of helping someone up the floor could be written out so brilliantly. as i mentioned in the note at the end, i was debating whether to make this a poem or a one shot- a ff- or one with multiple parts...in the end it is what it is, but its interesting how its turned out.
Each and every description of his action and the effects they had on her were wonderfully described and penned. Each words flowed like honey..(hmm..I want some honey on roti now..lol)honey on roti? have never tried that, oh i want some alu paratha now😆
You know, this sort of reminded me of a one shot that my sister wrote, not the writing or anything else more so the general idea behind this. In terms of writing, they are completely different, hers was from his point of view and it was quite different. Ah well leaving all that aside, I was just thinking that one thing I like about your writing is the easy flow of words. There is no pronounced rhythm, yet the flow of words come naturally to you...for instance with Shakespeare, he wrote most his plays and poems in iambic pentameter form and was he brilliant at that or what. So basically my point here is that, your strength lies in the way you string the words so flawlessly and beautifully. It takes you to an unknown land of desires. i still think you are being wayy to generous with all the good things you are saying...but thank you nevertheless.
So my favourite death has to be the 3rd and the 4th, both for varied yet the same reasons. 3rd, just coz it was intense and passionate. Whereas the 4th just coz it was innocent to a point and yet intense at the same time.mine too 3rd and 4th a little more- there is this innocence as you say that reflects with that thought.
To answer your question, no don't turn this in to a fanfic. Let it be the way it is, and if you want to write another part then I am with Sookie in this about may be writing a meeting after a few years? But I don't know why, I prefer the way it is..the unexpected end..let the mystery reamin unfolded..lol you know i had a story sketched out with this one, but just the way its been written screams out to let it be ... by the time i got to the last para, as you must have noticd i coudlnt keep up the same flow...but may be i will post a sequel and Sookie's already predicted which way its going😊
I read your reply to my previous comment, makes more sense now.. will try and reply later..don't know when that will be..😆its k, i won't pester you no more for replies esp. after seeing your comment on pablo's which is as long as one of my parts🤗thank you for commenting in such detail, its absolutely thrilling to read it
This took me a while to write, eid..hence relatives popping in and out.. *sigh* my bad, Eid Mubarak Humz. Forgive me for the belated wishes.😳
Before I forget..I just realised you had Monty Python reference in lost and found.. only you could do that Aru..😆lol..i kept visualising Armaan walking in a crowded place and that's the first thing that came to m y mind.lol
Humzy..
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