Counting those Days l AR One shot :) - Page 2

Originally posted by: k_anjali12

nice one😊

Originally posted by: Prasanthi

Lovely One Shot Lizi!!! Short and simple. Loved it so much!!!

Hope to see you writing many more.

Originally posted by: swamii92

hey nice one shot ............loved it........................pm me if u write more

Originally posted by: ~sumedha~

HEY NEETZ!!!!!
loved the shot........
glad you wrote it....
love
sumedha

Neetu… kaan pakad ke maafi mangti hu, sorry for the long delay in posting a comment. Have just been a bit caught up and top of that my bro's been using my laptop coz his is broken, and we both refuse to use our ancient computer. Lol. Anyhow coming to the comment, Neety this is way different to your previous one shot, it's complete opposite in terms of writing. The writing here is lighter and simple to follow, though the one thing common between both is the straightforward way of story telling.

I like that the whole story was set within the space of an hour. Like I told you previously that I like anonymity in stories, but for some odd reason I was wishing that you had dwelled on the reason of him leaving her. For some reason, I found it hard to connect or feel anything for her character. I don't know may be it was just me or just that I read it in a very dreary mood. Though I give you full points for conveying her vulnerability and her contradictory emotions really well.

I like the characterisation of Ridz here; I think I prefer this story over the other one, may be because this seems more real, whereas the other I thought it to be more fairytale-ish. Even though I found it hard to connect with Ridz, but I could see a person like that in reality.

Neetz are you specialising in Maths or commerce by any chance, its just I find your writing to be very calculative and measured, as in its written in a very analytical manner or it might be that your writing is such.

The rush of emotions that might have gone through her in seeing him was well written, but yet again it brings me to the point that I would have liked to know the reason for his departure. It would have added more depth to her feelings upon seeing him and his apology. I know that you wanted the reader to imagine what they wanted, but I think sometimes a person prefers a set full course meal, than to think and order, the same thing applies here. Ah I don't know if I have put it exactly the way I wanted to.

Lastly I have to say my favourite part of your writing was the last couple of paragraphs where you were describing the shedding of the shell to reveal a pearl hidden within. In both your writing, I always seem to find something that I love.

It was a lovely one shot Neetu, and I watched the KaSh vm it was fabulous, I love the instrumental version better than the actual song. I wish you had done the whole instrumental version. It does go well with the story; it felt like Ridz was remembering her past times. Damn I miss KaSh now, sigh.

Love

Huma

PS: I know I haven't commented on your VM gallery, sorry I will soon.

super oneshot 😊 👏