Originally posted by: butterfly15..
I don't blame Jhanvi for the things Viraj has done as she can't control the things he does.
Even when she stayed with him after all the abuse, I still didn't think she was wrong, as many people in real life stay with the one that abuses them, so it was a realistic approach by the writers.
Jhanvi could use underhand tactics or whatever to show Viraj's true colours to everyone. That's not what bothers me.
But what I don't like about her is that sometimes she doesn't think about the consequences of her actions in relation to other people.
It's fine if she's looking out for herself, and trying to save her life and whatever else, I say good for her. It's about time she tried to stand up to Viraj and move on with her life. It's also fine if she needs and wants help from others.
But what I can't excuse is that she, knowingly, puts others at risk for her own safety.
I know that she isn't in the best of mental states at the moment, but that's not an excuse for her to put others at risk.
I'll always go back to the point that she hid that Viraj is her husband from Raghav's family from the beginning, and she did it for her own sake. It was selfish. She came before everyone elses safety. She should've told the truth.
I mean if any one of us allowed a woman to stay in our house, the least we would expect her to do is tell us if we have a dangerous man living in our house(most likely because of her) so we could protect ourselves and the kids in the house. Would we easily forgive her for putting all of our lives and our families lives in danger, when she could have prevented it? I doubt it would be that easy.
Besides I think her telling the truth would have been better for her.
I don't hate Jhanvi, or think she is a wh**e and whatever else. But she makes some big mistakes, at least in my opinion. I also don't think she is to blame for Viraj's actions, but she should at least think about her own actions, and sometimes realise that she makes things worse for herself rather than better.
Much appreciated 😊 I agree with you on one thing: by not telling the family, and by falling for V's innocent act, J actually made things so tough for herself there is no way she can come out of this looking good at all. Quite simple really: she neglected to tell them this uncomfortable truth about herself because in part she felt afraid to, and in part because she didn't know what to make of this man who looked like V but didn't act an ounce like him. But none of that makes her sneaky, slimy or manipulative (you certainly may not have said this, but the fact that it's been said on this forum and outside can't be denied). It makes her slow on the uptake, confused, slightly fickle, and more inclined to being passive and hoping the problem goes 'poof!'. And yes, selfish to a certain degree, and DEFINITELY not the best person to make a plan!
You'll need to remember, though, that the entire time that she wasn't seriously trying to spill the beans to the Singhs, she was at once experiencing serious triggers from his arrival, and wondering if by throwing the man out on the basis of something he might not even remember would be doing him an injustice. That can't be an easy situation to deal with. You can't deny, either, that Viraaj was milking this situation for all it was worth and gleefully pushing all those buttons in her psyche marked 'vulnerable'.
At this early stage, Jhanvi wasn't even in a position to get herself out of her belief that she was helpless, that V had too much power for her to handle, that she wouldn't be believed because look at how her family fell for every trap he made and he still came out smelling of roses. So the only time frame I can really take into account while trying to evaluate this at all, is what she attempted to do after she knew for sure that Viraaj was faking it, which was when she spoke to Ashram didi:
1. She saw Krish playing with Viraaj and took him away as soon as she could manage, upon which she accidentally dropped the note
2. At this stage, she still doesn't have a concrete plan she can use yet, so she acts normal.
3. Shortly after this, Viraaj confirms her belief, after which she makes it clear to him that she isn't interested and immediately after, is interrupted every time she tries and tells the truth to Komal who is the only person in the house.
4. Viraaj foils just about every attempt to tell someone, until finally she decides to run to Raghav's garage and tell him the entire truth.
5. Now both have to contemplate how to get rid of Viraaj without the family getting harmed, therefore they have to keep the fact that Raghav knows, a secret -- after which, we see the kidnapping track which was performed in the hope of nabbing him as a criminal -- foiled by the quick capture of Raghav and the CD getting lost in the mad escape.
6. As Komolika's dialogue yesterday revealed, she decided on trying to get evidence collected so that she could get a divorce done, but Komolika obviously was never able to grab hold of any of those tapes.
7. After which...everything became this huge, complicated mess.
There are the facts for you...until the moment she didn't know for sure that she was very possibly throwing out a man who had no idea who he was or what he had done, and who seemed to have changed so much even she was getting convinced -- and you're also talking about a Jhanvi prior to the conversation with Gayathri. For all you know, she could have been fearing that if she revealed all, she would be sent back, his memory would recover one day and she'd be in deep trouble again. Given the way this was so well-played and Jhanvi was to an extent fooled as well, why is she the only one being blamed?
The moment she did find out however, she attempted a number of things, so I'm not sure I can agree she knowingly sat there and did nothing.
No one's saying that what she did was the epitome of righteousness -- from the beginning, many were actually vouching for Jhanvi to spill the beans as quickly as possible, to NOT give Viraaj the benefit of the doubt, to stop focussing on whether or not the man really lost his memory and confide in one of the family members as quickly as possible.
No one is contesting either that she was being selfish - not even Jhanvi herself. Everything is easy to realise in hindsight, it's in the here and now that you miss out on things and do what best suits you. Of COURSE she'll be selfish. Post-trauma stress isn't a neat and tidy thing that never meddles with your life and personality once you're out of the situation -- men who had returned from both World Wars ended up making a mess of their family lives due to the effects of shell-shock, rape victims are often known to take their anger out on people around them. A fairly recent case of Child Sexual Abuse, where two twin sisters had been repeatedly abused by their family members for years before a neighbour called the police, revealed that the girls would repeatedly betray each other for self-preservation, and still have trouble dealing with relationships afterwards (Their story was published in the Witchia Eagle, and later was aired on Oprah: http://www.kansas.com/promisenottotell/). Would you call their coping mechanisms an excuse for their less than perfect actions too?
Viraaj was a victim of abuse at a point too - though the serial makes it unclear exactly whether he was a direct victim of abuse or whether he witnessed his mother get beatings meant for him. But in Viraaj's case, he has what a lot of victims want but won't always get -- the chance to work on his issues through counselling and deal with what his biological father (and in his mind, mother) did. He was being given treatment that he chose not to use. Even then, he knew what he was doing was wrong, including the torture induced on Payal, knew at some point that the acts he was performing weren't normal, yet rejected therapy of any form and dealt with it in a way that would only serve to reinforce the power he was beginning to enjoy. Jhanvi, on the other hand, doesn't get the opportunity to start wrestling those demons, and definitely doesn't get the time to even consider counselling, given that Viraaj arrives at the Singh house probably a month after, and is still expected to work on her problems perfectly.
I'd also like to point out (I'm guessing you may not have seen this happening) that judgements on Jhanvi were being passed the moment she left the house. Not when she acted on her sense of self-preservation, not when she lied to the Singhs -- but the moment she stepped outside and said 'ab bas'.
Jhanvi went through abuse then, and what Jhanvi is going through now, at Viraaj's hands, is still abuse. What IMO was her mistake? It was that she stupidly, stupidly fell for that trap when Viraaj first created it and didn't throw him out of there straightaway, ML or no ML.
Edited by BizzyLizzy - 13 years ago
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