Whose responsibility is new born ? - Page 2

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

Good Answer QWERTY ji😛

However , I donot know about people in another states...but in Andhra Pradesh..if the married daugther is in Videsh....at the time of daughter's delivery she gets a chance to goto that videsh...what a bumper offer..even the son's mother does'nt get a chance to visit foreign nation😛

Originally posted by: raj5000

Today had to give ride to a friend back home from hospital (was near the place I had some business today) after they were blessed with a baby , meekly asked him a question and learned his MIL is staying back in hospital and taking care of mom/baby...most surprising was that Mother's side has to take care of expenses / initial baby care..I was like 😕 why? He just said thats what they wanted and was instructed by elders.. had so many things to spit at him..but just did whatever I was supposed to do... drive 😳

I suppose this happened in US. Why would anyone pay from his pocket?😕 Don't they have insurance?

As for girl's family paying for it, I have never heard of it. I always thought it is the new parents who pays final bill.

Originally posted by: raj5000

Questions in mind :

How is it gurl's parents responsibility to take care etc etc when baby is born ?

Originally posted by: raj5000

Isn't baby more responsibility of folks who claim the gurl is now our beti ?

Originally posted by: raj5000

most importantly from new born's / spouse's perspective isn't it father's resposibility to take lead in proceedings ?

Originally posted by: raj5000

Arguable based on various factors... open to all. IMO - both spouse's are responsible for everything...no expectations from anyone.

Remember in early 90's my sister delivered a baby, after everything mom instructed my big bro to take care of hospital bills. Being small thought, oh thats a good gesture and happiness for which we had to take care of new born expenses.

Today had to give ride to a friend back home from hospital (was near the place I had some business today) after they were blessed with a baby , meekly asked him a question and learned his MIL is staying back in hospital and taking care of mom/baby...most surprising was that Mother's side has to take care of expenses / initial baby care..I was like 😕 why? He just said thats what they wanted and was instructed by elders.. had so many things to spit at him..but just did whatever I was supposed to do... drive 😳

Questions in mind :

How is it gurl's parents responsibility to take care etc etc when baby is born ?

Sure, it is the newly born's parents responsibility.

But in our part it is a custom we follows for the first delivery must be in girl's place. (my parents insisted and I tooks leave before one week and goes to my prents with all records given by the hospital authorities). all expences should be paid by the parents of the girl, but you know in our part when the childs birth is announced, the boy's mother and women relatives come with the the first dress of the baby ( kuttyuduppu in malayalam )and baby soap (previously "Incha=bark of a palant used here for removeing dirt from boady(inner soft part is using), powder etc. later on the 5th or 7th day allmost all from the boy's side came with sweats, Oil(gingelly oil) dressess for the child and mother and a considerable amount of money(It is an issue of prestigeof boys family) . By which it become a duty of girls side to look after but the expence is paid by the boy's side. One more thing when the girl is taken from the boy's house by the girl's relatives for delivery, then the traditional "Nilavilakku" will be lighted and the boy's mother or the elder lady in the boy's family give the girl cloths, Enna (oil taken from Ellu/gingelly oil), coconut oil, Turmeric powder, Encha etc.

on the 28th day is the "Naming cermony ' of the child then also the father's people will give the child goldchain for neck and bangles for hands and mother's people will give gold thala for legs and chain for hip=Arnjanam) and relatives from both side give gold ornaments or other fineries even if the child's parents don't wnat it. It is a beautiful tradition showing both the families enthusiasm and responsibilities towards the new born baby and hence to its mother.

All traditions are beautifull and meaning full if the families have money and goodwill

Isn't baby more responsibility of folks who claim the gurl is now our beti ?

See the above

most importantly from new born's / spouse's perspective isn't it father's resposibility to take lead in proceedings?

Arguable based on various factors... open to all. IMO - both spouse's are responsible for everything...no expectations from anyone.

Yes, I agree with you, but my parents and borthers didn't agree with me then. But I also have different reposibilties towards them and their family and even to their in-laws by tradition and happily performing.

Originally posted by: Maya_M

I suppose this happened in US. Why would anyone pay from his pocket?😕 Don't they have insurance?

As for girl's family paying for it, I have never heard of it. I always thought it is the new parents who pays final bill.

Arrey haan in US, actually called him just now and asked....it seems his plan covers 80% and 20% his (2K limit). Learnt baby shower expenses we also claimed 😛... not that was asked says it makes them happy and it's per customs.

Originally posted by: raunaq

raj never heard about such things, may be they are lazy parents 😕 😕 😕

lazy right.. kon pocket mey haath daley aur CC swipe karey😆 if you would have read pg.1 Kabhi's post or Qwerty's "Appendix 1 of dowry act" then wouldn't have heard but atleast read about such things 😆😆

Originally posted by: raj5000

Thanks for sharing Anon/Kabhi/Nitaji!! As Dewey all in the name of customs.

Thanks all for POV's

The title of the topic is a bit misleading.... as I see you were just referring to the expenses for new born child than responsibility of child completely..... some of the views came like ofcourse the responsibility is with parents....😆

okk i have thought something that i would like to share......

Main responsibility of a child lies with the people responsible for him/her 😉 that is parents 😆..... however a new born baby or any person is a responsibility of the whole society.... tomorrow if the baby is at mom's place and having fever, would grandma say that its the responsibility of baby's parents?.... if there is an accident, shall public say its not my reponsibility? So general responsibility lies with society, yes even with government..... however major responsibility of expenses and raising lies with parents....

But i was surprised to see certain views here..... I have seen many topics like

1. Whether the girl shall retain her maiden name?
2. Whether the girl shall leave her home and be called parayi beti?
3. If the girl shall take responsibility of parents in old age? etc.....

On all this topics i have seen people advocating that the two families are united and its not girl going from her parents and become parayi..... so the couple has responsibilites towards both houses.....I completely agree with this too......

But when it came to expenses in this topic.... everyone said there is no responsibility of girls side??????

So is it that two families are together only for profits and liabilities has to be considered by boys side?????? give it a thought😊