Whose responsibility is new born ?

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raj5000

@raj5000

Sparkler

Posted: 17 years ago

Remember in early 90's my sister delivered a baby, after everything mom instructed my big bro to take care of hospital bills. Being small thought, oh thats a good gesture and happiness for which we had to take care of new born expenses.

Today had to give ride to a friend back home from hospital (was near the place I had some business today) after they were blessed with a baby , meekly asked him a question and learned his MIL is staying back in hospital and taking care of mom/baby...most surprising was that Mother's side has to take care of expenses / initial baby care..I was like 😕 why? He just said thats what they wanted and was instructed by elders.. had so many things to spit at him..but just did whatever I was supposed to do... drive 😳

Questions in mind :

How is it gurl's parents responsibility to take care etc etc when baby is born ?

Isn't baby more responsibility of folks who claim the gurl is now our beti ?

most importantly from new born's / spouse's perspective isn't it father's resposibility to take lead in proceedings ?

Arguable based on various factors... open to all. IMO - both spouse's are responsible for everything...no expectations from anyone.

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Dew

@Morning_Dew

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

Originally posted by: raj5000

Questions in mind :

How is it gurl's parents responsibility to take care etc etc when baby is born ?

Isn't baby more responsibility of folks who claim the gurl is now our beti ?

most importantly from new born's / spouse's perspective isn't it father's resposibility to take lead in proceedings ?

Arguable based on various factors... open to all. IMO - both spouse's are responsible for everything...no expectations from anyone.

All in the name of stupid, senseless customs. I believe it is responsibility of both spouses after that in a traditional joint family system it is a responsibility of the house hold where girl is living not her parents.

Yes if there is a ghar jamai situation than ofcourse role will be reversed.😆

I remember talking with a lady , who spend whole preganancy in her parents house and stayed there till after babies birth. Her husband never spend a single penny during that time period. Plus after the birth of child , In-laws send a list of things which suppose to be provided by girl's parents🤢

Anyway in any of such situation I would rather blame that spineless husband rather than in-laws.

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6508

Suspended

Posted: 17 years ago

Yupps i agree spouses responsibility equally to raise child.

However, i think it is Grandparents happiness in which they will provide for newborn. 😳 Not because they have to, but because they want too.

Like my elder sister - Mum is the eldest so hence my Sister was the first grandaughter. So happiness hoti hai and uncle and grandparents would buy us a dress/toys etc even when i was born out of happiness - not because folks expected it. Parents were young, wanted to stand on own two feet which they did - provided for us girls. Grandparents and Aunty and uncle only out of happiness provided things which meant a lot to us.

Even today - out of happiness, they still do things for us grandchildren - Parents have never expected anything, just their support is enough for them as thy are more than capable of providing.

If parents cant afford then of course what mother or father can see their grandchild go without but yes i do not believe they should Have to pay for Initial expenses.

But you ask why the girls parents- Well depends what kind of family the boys side is. If they are the type of believe her mum should pay for everything and provided no help at all. 😳

It is more of a case she is your daughter not ours. Daughter in law counts for nothing 😳

Yeah i believe they should help and support couple - as in help with a new first time baby with clueless parents 😆 but not pay expenses for everything.

Couple should actively do this, and parents of either couple step in, only if times are bad for them financially. 😳

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~globetrotter~

@~globetrotter~

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

I never heard of such a tradition..and I gotta agree, it is pretty ridiculous. Why should the girl's side of the family carry all the expense of the newborn? Ultimately, the newborn is the responsibility of the new parents, and if anybody ought to deal with the hospital bills etc, it ought to be the parents. It's not like someone forced them to have the kid. Ofcourse, if the grandparents want to HELP out, they can by all means...but it shouldnt be EXPECTED of them. Like Anon said, it should be done out of a sense of love and wanting to do it, rather than feeling obligated to do it. On the other hand, I can kinda sorta see why the girl's mother would handle the initial baby care because if this is the couple's first child, the girl would probably be clueless over how to take care of the newborn...and would probably just be much more comfortable with her mum around to explain it all to her. Sure, the boy's mum (her MIL) could explain it all to her too...but there's a certain level of comfort that you feel only in your own mother's presence...and so maybe that's where the origin of the whole tradition lies. But helping her care for the newborn is one thing, shouldering all the hospital bills and other expenses is a whole different thing. They all just need to come together as a family and figure out how each of them is going to help out with the new born. No one person / side of the family should have to do everything.

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sudesh kumar

@qwertyesque

Rocker

Posted: 17 years ago

Originally posted by: raj5000

Remember in early 90's my sister delivered a baby, after everything mom instructed my big bro to take care of hospital bills. Being small thought, oh thats a good gesture and happiness for which we had to take care of new born expenses.

Today had to give ride to a friend back home from hospital (was near the place I had some business today) after they were blessed with a baby , meekly asked him a question and learned his MIL is staying back in hospital and taking care of mom/baby...most surprising was that Mother's side has to take care of expenses / initial baby care..I was like 😕 why? He just said thats what they wanted and was instructed by elders.. had so many things to spit at him..but just did whatever I was supposed to do... drive 😳

Questions in mind :

How is it gurl's parents responsibility to take care etc etc when baby is born ?Yes.....thast appendix one of dowry act...😆

Isn't baby more responsibility of folks who claim the gurl is now our beti ? Its just where the gal delivers the baby....if its at her parents they foot the bill otherwise the husbands family and otherwise the husband himself.. if they live far away in Timbuvktoo...alternatively if its a boy it should be boys side or gals side...

most importantly from new born's / spouse's perspective isn't it father's resposibility to take lead in proceedings ? yes its gal fathers responsibility u are right there...

Arguable based on various factors... open to all. IMO - both spouse's are responsible for everything...no expectations from anyone.

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@mermaid_QT

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

if parents of the child can't take care of the bills, they should get their act together instead of making babies.
shame on them for burdening others for what is their responsibility 🤢

and only in my dreams will we actually abolish these gender-biases prevalent in the name of unacceptable social practice.

Edited by mermaid_QT - 17 years ago

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Believe

@-Believe-

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 17 years ago

I hate those who depending on girls parents,After marriage ...😕Wo delivery ho ya kuch be ho....😳😉😊

""Dont marry for money...You can borrow it cheaper"😉

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Abhijit Kulkarni

@kabhi_21

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

I have come across this situations in my own family but in a reverse way.... (I am not talking of financial burdens here as I dont know if we paid for expenses or them).... First let me tell all of you of the tradition as was told to me by my elders in our family (taken as from ancestors) not that i believe in all of them....
When a girl who is married in your family is pregnant for the first time, The girls parents take the girl to their place 2-3 months before the pregnancy date... they do a program called "Dohal Jevan" as well for wellness of mother and child..., Then after the birth also the girl and new born baby stays with girls parents for 2-3 months. And the girl and baby is taken back home after "Jawal" and naming ceremony.
It is not followed for subsequent pregnancies....

Now let me tell you all the situation that we faced...: My eldest bro was married... Then there were some problems between two families because my sis in law hide some things from us regarding her failure in language exams on insistance from her mother... Also bhabhi's mother once insulted my parents in our own shop for nothing.... This definitely made all of us mad and i dont even go to them now.... So this bhabhi's mom was working in a arms factory and when my bhabhi was pregnant for the first time, she was not getting a long leave. So we kept bhabhi at our home considering that there will be noone to take care of her. And this lady made a big fuss out of it in her relatives and our friends, which made my dad really furious. He stopped going to their house... and seeing all this my bhabhi called and told that she is coming to stay there just 15-20 days before date.... So its not always that its guy's parents fault.... Vamps can be there on both sides 😆

But our family does follow the tradition and my second bhabhi may go to her parents for her first pregnancy. 😊

I am noone to say anything in their business, however i can talk when it comes to my wife and i will do what we both agree for. 😊

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Abhijit Kulkarni

@kabhi_21

Inactive

Posted: 17 years ago

Originally posted by: Believe

I hate those who depending on girls parents,After marriage ...😕Wo delivery ho ya kuch be ho....😳😉😊

""Dont marry for money...You can borrow it cheaper"😉

Does that mean marry bank owner's beautiful chhori😛😆