Documentary Nirbhaya India's Daughter - UPDATE Admins reply pg29 - Page 66

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-Nafisa- thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Are We Trying To Hide India's Sons From The World?

The Indian government's ban on the Delhi gang rape victim documentary has caused enough of brouhaha for us all to watch it on the sly.

The film by director Leslee Udwin, who is herself a rape victim, doesn't reveal anything that is unknown to the world. Two-and-a-half years after the incident, 'Nirbhaya' is a household name. We all know how she aspired to study medicine, how her financially struggling parents brought her up, why she was out that night and what transpired next.

The only new thing in the documentary is that the perpetrator was interviewed for the first time.

I watched the one-hour-long documentary with dismay. Here was a rape accused looking straight at the camera with unblinking eyes, providing the horrific details of a gruesome rape with utter disdain.

That unrepentant look and the devil-may-care attitude brought back a chilling experience I had just a week before 16 December 2012.

My 11-year-old son had won two tickets to the preview of the movie The Hobbit in a school contest. It was an evening show and presuming that the film would end by 9pm I agreed to take them for the screening.

Unfortunately, the movie began ridiculously late -- at 8pm. And by the time the show ended, the metro ride that we had hoped to take had stopped its services. There was no dearth of autos outside the movie hall, though, so we negotiated fares and decided to hop into one.

As I attended a call, the driver chatted with my sons, asking them why we were out that late. The man, all wrapped up in a muffler, then went on to belittle me for watching a movie so late at night with two kids in tow. He thought it wasn't very ladylike. Then to my utter surprise, he stopped the auto in the middle of nowhere, turned around and blamed my family for allowing us out on our own. He was giving us a piece of his mind while I seethed, unable to talk back as rudely as I wanted to since I feared for our safety. As I yelled at him to start the auto, he nonchalantly told me that women from good households should hold their tongues and not lash out at men!

What he said wasn't very different from what the rapists' defence lawyers voiced in the documentary.

I have been working night shifts all through my career and was never afraid of the ungodly hours. But the underlying threat in the driver's voice and the fact that I had two little boys with me and had to return home through a near-empty highway on a foggy, bone-chilling night, parched my throat. I was angry, irritated and very afraid in my city, the national capital.

The unwavering look of accused Mukesh Singh as he stared back at the camera was similar to the one I remember vividly from that night. It could have been me, or any one of India's daughters' who could have faced the same plight as Damini (one of the names we instantly gave to the rape victim, as if it would shield her from a shame she did not deserve).

Was it social discrimination that I faced or just an irate, sermonising son of India who could not imagine a woman living life on her own terms? If the defence lawyers toe the line of the rape accused and say on camera "we have the best of culture. In our culture there is no space for women," or that "a woman is like a flower that is to adorn a home away from the thorns of society" or that they wouldn't hesitate to douse their daughter/sister in petrol if they stepped out with strange men at late hours, what do we expect of unlettered men?

Even after such a heinous crime, moralising comes easy for both the rape accused and their defence counsel.

The documentary would have been more aptly named "India's Sons" - it portrayed men who are ready to kill their female kin if they step out after dark, those who think women are made only for household chores, and those who try to pass off a sadistic rape as an accident.

What has India really done for its daughters? It hasn't given them free education or security in society or health benefits. It has given them the threat that a brutal end may await them if they protest and try to rise above their stature.

Is it because the world will come to know of these 'sons' that Parliamentary Affairs Minister M Venkaiah Naidu calls the film "an international conspiracy to defame India"? Is this why he wants a ban on the film?

I think he forgot that India's daughters are like the phoenix that rise up from their own ashes, while its sons die a thousand deaths trying to control the women with a violence that is both mental and physical.

qwertyesque thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
they need to ban this in india... because the outrageously cocky nature of opinions.. is too hurtful and insulting to indian women who are expected to stay in norms or face disembowelment,put crudely..., its disgusting...in general most indian men are still far far away from respecting women... the govt did the right thing!!!
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

they need to ban this in india... because the outrageously cocky nature of opinions.. is too hurtful and insulting to indian women who are expected to stay in norms or face disembowelment,put crudely..., its disgusting...in general most indian men are still far far away from respecting women... the govt did the right thing!!!

not sure what you mean, but every Indian women know these opinions very well so banning or not banning documentary doesn't really matter..
btw correction.. its not just Indian men who talk and think like this, the women who come from similar backgrounds and families generally share and express same opinion.. Not sure if anyone remembers Sheila Dixit's expressing her views right after the tragedy.
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Posted: 10 years ago
Is the documentary still banned in India on YouTube?
qwertyesque thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: LovelyPlanet

not sure what you mean, but every Indian women know these opinions very well so banning or not banning documentary doesn't really matter..

btw correction.. its not just Indian men who talk and think like this, the women who come from similar backgrounds and families generally share and express same opinion.. Not sure if anyone remembers Sheila Dixit's expressing her views right after the tragedy.


No, indian women don't know these opinions... otherwise these incidents wouldnt happen... its too insulting I feel.. (may be you are quite ok with it) to abide by a rapists advice.. no matter how sane it may be! banning the documentary at least shows most of the indian women the govt cares... its similar to hiding the rape victims face and name in media...
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

. no matter how sane it may be! banning the documentary at least shows most of the indian women the govt cares... its similar to hiding the rape victims face and name in media...


The govt cares about what? Saving its own image ! How is that suppose to offer any solace to the Indian women? 😕 Banning the documentary does not help to decrease the crime rate in the country. Taking some concrete steps to bring about a change in people's mindset could help. The outrage caused after the lawyers opinions became public atleast prodded the bar council to serve a show cause notice to the two lawyers. This should drive home the point that such regressive views are no longer acceptable. A popular elected govt can do a lot to give direction to its country's mood. Dealing strongly with unapologetic parliamentarians making derogatory sexist remarks could have sent a strong message to such rogue elements and the public, proving that the govt actually cares. Since the govt fails time and again to condemn such misbehaviour , it is left to the public to highlight the issue and keep it in the forefront . True that India is not the only country where such heinous crimes occur but what is equally true is that India is the only country where victim shaming and blaming happens to be so prevalent. Its time to shift that blaming and shaming onto the real culprits - ie the rapists and all their supporters.
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Posted: 10 years ago
hmm, the documentry vs the goverment, this is simmiler of someone with dirty face breaking up the mirror instade of cleaning his/ her face. as for the uneducated moral police who have the mentality of controling women according to their wishes, these embeciles must be taught that they have no rights to do so. they don't even have a right to control their mother, sister, wife or daughter, let alone someone they don't know.
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: qwertyesque


No, indian women don't know these opinions... otherwise these incidents wouldnt happen... its too insulting I feel.. (may be you are quite ok with it) to abide by a rapists advice.. no matter how sane it may be! banning the documentary at least shows most of the indian women the govt cares... its similar to hiding the rape victims face and name in media...

Really? for once I thought you were joking.. majority of society thinks and talks all this crap.. no one is okay with it, actually far from okay.. but given the size of population it is impossible even argue with anyone.. and its probably going to be waste of breath trying to argue with those people.. probably im doing same here.😆
qwertyesque thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: LovelyPlanet

Really? for once I thought you were joking.. majority of society thinks and talks all this crap.. no one is okay with it, actually far from okay.. but given the size of population it is impossible even argue with anyone.. and its probably going to be waste of breath trying to argue with those people.. probably im doing same here.😆


ok i give up.. and concede... common sense cant prevail.. ,these horrific incidences wont stop on its own!!no matterhow radical thinking the indian woman becomes.. its india after all!!

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