Lying about virginity - Page 7

Originally posted by: jprasad

yeah...why a girl like her...she may have been abused by an uncle, parent or grandfather...that is kind of gross. 😕 She may suffer from confidence issues and that is why she sleeps around. In that case your mammu shouldn't want to marry her cuz God knows she will nag him cuz she ain't a happy person...sleeping around and all.

😆😆JP,firstly as all others have said,only you could turn this into a laugh riot👏👏

Secondly you see,we live in two different parts of the world ..Call me outdated,call me conservative,call me old fashioned, call me a moron,but here such things arent really in vogueIts all very common in the west ,but not quite in the here😊

There are some ingrained beliefs(or as you would call it prejudices or preconceived notions..)besides,if there's nothing wrong about it,why sweep it under the carpet😕...Why not be open about it??Why start a relationship based on a lie???Why does she feel that its a skeleton in her closet??..Its not a question of whether pre marital sex is right or wrong,but as to whether its right to lie to a fellow....afterall,no one likes to be cheated right😊

I think sometimes a virgin might have to lie about their past as in cases if they were molested. Molestation can happen in any family even those families who are quite conservative...especially in those families who are conservative. Perhaps the girl wants to put the molestation in her past. Perhaps she doesn't want to embarrass herself and her family. Girls, ask yourself this question, have you ever been touched in the wrong way by a family member or a family friend? Chances are 1 in 2 girls are thinking yes. If you have, then ask yourself, do you want remember it everyday of your life?

First off, personally, I would tell the truth about my virginity. If a guy asks me whether or not I am virgin or not, it is a sign that this guy has some weird thinking going on his head to be asking. Maybe he is insecure. If a girl wants to lie about her virginity because she feels that she doesn't want to admit to it what can anyone do about it. If a guy is asking me about my virginity and I don't know this guy all to well, I am not about to admit anything to him. I have my own identity to think about and I have my family to protect. I don't owe someone whom I don't know the truth. This guy whom I don't know is not janta and I am not a political leader that I need to worry about being elected.

I don't believe that in India people are black or white. People in India also have shades of grey in them just like they do in the West. Through Indian television and movies, I have a different picture in my mind of India. If Indians feel that these movies and shows are not a correct representation of life in India then there is a need to rethink what is being shown on TV. Ekta Kapoor's prim and proper yet hyprocrisy filled bahu's don't cut it for me.



PS - You only get cheated if you let yourself be cheated. 😛 😛

why does she have to be a virgin? she shud just tell him to avoid problems once they are marries

i think she is kinda scared. being desi its tuffer, especially to tell a guy (that your parents have chosen) that u are not a virgin. i know many guys who want their girls 2 be virgins, but maybe if she told him she wasnt he wouldnt wanna be with her, and then her parents would get even more angry. but w/e its a personal decision to be completley honest with someone u r gunna spend the rest of your life with.

on a sidenote: maybe cuz she is experienced, he'll think hes the luckiest man alive that he has a so called "virgin wife" who is soo good in the sack 😆

i understand of wat ur saying...and i completly agree first of all Why did she brake her virginity???? i mean waz it b/c her bf wuld break up with her...then that was a really dumb mistake but if she did it herself it wuld still be her mistake...i mean b4 u do such a thing you shuld always think about ur family and itz reputation...now wut if tha gals parents found out???? they would feel ashamed i know my family would kick me out of the house!!! but wut can we do now tha grl has gone mad(no offence) and there is no cure for it ... 😉 unless she tells tha truth...btw this shuld also be abt guys and not only shuld tha grls be a t fault

one of my frends was asking me if ur still a virgin if u masterbate??? i seriously wasnt sure!!! 😕 😕
does someone know???

Hi,

I believe the fact isn't that she is a virgin or not more so than it is that she lied at the time prior to her marriage.

If she would have told him that she is not a virgin I don't think it would hurt him as much as it may know.

Prior to the marriage he wasn't related to her and it would not of hurt him as much if she had told him then and he could then decide how big of a deal her virginity comes to play in deciding to marry her or not. However if she tells him now I believe it would break his heart. I don't think he would have the same comfort level as he once would of had with her.

As everyone has said, marriage shouldn't be based on a lie and she lied so that she could marry him so her marriage is some-what based on a lie.

He might still accept her or become really livid.

Since you are asking a guys opinion, I would have to say if I was in his place and was told after the marriage about it or found out some way I would be extremely furious and even break the relationship depending on if she really is sorry for what she did or not. If she isn't sorry and does not see the pain it would cause her husband then she doesn't love him and does not have the same mentality as he does.

Regards,

Khizer

Originally posted by: jprasad

I say girls should never say they are a virgin even if they are. So girls should actually lie and say I am not a virgin and wacha gonna do about it. Looking at the bigger picture in life, I think there are bigger issues at stake than being truthful or untruthful about virginity. So just say you are not a virgin. If the guy really loves you, he will still marry you. 😛 And you know...lie about everything...lie till you turn blue in the face...if they find out the truth from someone else...oh well...who cares...we still have the homeless to feed and wars to fight if we are bent on doing the right thing.

sonali_k, I admire you. I think we should all do the right thing and always tell potential spouses that a girl is not a virgin. Perhaps we will save the girl from getting into a relationship she doesn't even want to get into. 😛

If it is really important to a man that his woman be a virgin, then obviously that man needs to grow up. That girl don't even need to be with someone so narrow minded. See Sonali, you saved the girl. Good job. 👏

I think it is ok for Sonali to be anonymous, cuz if a guy will believe something from someone he doesn't know, then well you are still saving the girl. 😛

OMG JP, you old wise sage !!! You HIT the nail straight into the head !!!!😆

Sonali, you really did a good thing. Your friend is truly better off without a guy who is regressive enough in this day and age to hang onto something like that !!! You really are saving her from a potentially volatile married life.........because I am sure even if she eventually got married, her own 'friends' will make sure her life turns into a nightmare just because her two previous relationships did not work out..............

Now one more thing. I understand that your friend lied to that boy because she really wanted to get married, and perhaps have a chance at happiness......but why did you keep the email anonymous? You are a stickler for truth and honesty......so what made you send that annonymous email? What stopped from writing your name on it ? What stopped you from marching up to that guy, in person, right in front of your 'friend' and tell him that she is cheating and lying to save her and her family's skin...............

Just to let you know, hiding is just another form of lying.............and betraying the trust of a friend is as great a sin as lying........

Though who knows....perhaps ultimately she would have the courage to tell him the truth, and he would eventually accept her, maybe even tell her a thing or two about himself. Now wouldn't that actually be a match made in heaven???

Originally posted by: Minnie

OMG JP, you old wise sage !!! You HIT the nail straight into the head !!!!😆

Sonali, you really did a good thing. Your friend is truly better off without a guy who is regressive enough in this day and age to hang onto something like that !!! You really are saving her from a potentially volatile married life.........because I am sure even if she eventually got married, her own 'friends' will make sure her life turns into a nightmare just because her two previous relationships did not work out..............

Now one more thing. I understand that your friend lied to that boy because she really wanted to get married, and perhaps have a chance at happiness......but why did you keep the email anonymous? You are a stickler for truth and honesty......so what made you send that annonymous email? What stopped from writing your name on it ? What stopped you from marching up to that guy, in person, right in front of your 'friend' and tell him that she is cheating and lying to save her and her family's skin...............

Just to let you know, hiding is just another form of lying.............and betraying the trust of a friend is as great a sin as lying........

Though who knows....perhaps ultimately she would have the courage to tell him the truth, and he would eventually accept her, maybe even tell her a thing or two about himself. Now wouldn't that actually be a match made in heaven???

Wow Minnie hats of to you. I totally loved the way you put it. *removing my hat and bowing*

nobody answered question????? 😭