Lying about virginity - Page 14

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

I completely agree with you here, but I think there are a few different scenarios that can play out in a relationship which can victimize a person or not.

The first scenario is where one person leads on another person. Where people pretend, lie etc just to get into someones pants. While whoever puts out is slightly at fault for giving in, they are a victim because they were deceived for sex.

The next scenario is where two people mutually agree into a physical relationship, but one falls for the relationship and the other moves on after the one night stand/benefit period whatever. In this case no one can genuinely claim to be a victim, because although feelings cannot be controlled you know what was in store.

The final scenario is a mutual pre-marital romantic relationship which ends due to personal differences. This is never a black and white situation. When a good relationship breaks up both men and women do feel hurt and 'victimized' for lack of better words. Both men and women can equally cause the relationship to go sour. You really cannot call one person a victim because both are at fault in a sense.

However, I do think women would not play 'victim' so often if society was accepting of the fact that women too have physial needs and desires and sometimes even the best and most decent of them falter.

My advice to women is when you have choose to have sex for the first time you should not lose something, but gain something. If you just lose your virginity it was not worth it. But if you truly gained a fulfilling experience that you would not regret even if things go wrong in the future, then it might be worth it. For me it is not about age, before or after marriage, but whether that person was truly worth it.

My advice to everyone in general is when you turn down a person because they are not virgins, what is a greater loss. Them losing the virginity or you losing them from your life. A virgin at marriage is equally as likely to cheat than any other person and a non virgin is equally as likely to be a faithful loving spouse/companion. Gauge the true value of the person in your life, not make an issue over a tissue.

Yeah, I know what you mean. That is why i see it as win-win/ all gain for me if they are losing it. As long as the girl i end up marrying has never been busy losing it.😉

Originally posted by: sandya_rao7

I really dont feel the need to lie abt it. If a guy is not broadminded enough to accept a girl as she is then that guy is not worth you.

Yeah,to being broad minded.👏 Just not when it comes to the girl i would wanna marry.😛

Marriage is an important part of human life.It is not a game.IT is a lifetime commitment.So both husband and wife should respect each-other and must share every sorrow-happiness with his partner. We must remember truth can not be hidden.It will come infront someday.

Originally posted by: SolidSnake

Why should a girl always prove whether she is a virgin or not, shouldn't same yardstick apply to men also. 😕

YES, on the whole basis of virginity the arguments that its just a piece of tissue and that there's no need for a man to prove his virginity HOLDS grounds.

BUT, THE question being whether a girl SHOULD LIE about her virginity, I say a huge and balant NO.

The issue I see here is one of lack of intimacy in a relationship. You are bound to be honest to your future husband. He deserves it. IF the couple are committed and honestly love each other I see nothing whatsoever against pre marital sex.

The husband is the one with whome you will share your future life, bear children-so YES you need to be honest. If its ok with him then its fine. if its not, then its HIS problem. Opinion may differ from person to person-but its your future life that depends. If you start your marraige with dishonesty-WHAT talk about future bliss?