Lying about virginity - Page 8

Originally posted by: aman8us9a6

nobody answered question????? 😭

Originally posted by: jprasad

😳 i would so be banned if I answered your question. 😉

Originally posted by: Minnie

OMG JP, you old wise sage !!! You HIT the nail straight into the head !!!!😆

Sonali, you really did a good thing. Your friend is truly better off without a guy who is regressive enough in this day and age to hang onto something like that !!!

Firstly,these are personal notions😊....saying that a guy who attaches importance to his and his would be's virginity is regressive or shallow is as analogous as saying that a girl who choses to save her virginity till marriage is regressive 😛....How can we, the third person ,be judgmental about an individual's personal perspectives😕..Someone may not want to wear anything but a saree or a salwar...Its that person's own belief and her choice...How right is it to call such a person retrogressive😕...BTW,There arent any certain rules which states as to which beliefs are progressive and which are regressive..Who are we to decide what is frivolous and inconsequential😕....A hypothetical case.....Someone may not want marry a manglik,I might feel that the science of astrology is absolute rubbish and i might get someone of my family married into another family by concealing the fact that she's a manglik....I might say that the in-laws may never find out the fact that she's a manglik,because I might have changed her horoscope(or any such inglorious act🤢) ...I perhaps did all that because I felt that the whole manglik crap is insignificant,but does that make me right.....NO,...why????..because i cheated the bridegroom's family...They dont deserve the contemptible deception..(PS...I thoroughly believe in astrology and thus I would never do any such thing..lol,just to not get misconstrued😳)..All are personal beliefs at the end of the day...Just as there are women who would want to marry a man who doesnt drink/smoke/slept around,arent men too entitled to want to marry a chaste woman...I am 100% sure people here would condemn an act where a man has lied to his fiance that he doesnt drink,whereas in actuality,he does.....🤢

Originally posted by: Minnie

You really are saving her from a potentially volatile married life......... because I am sure even if she eventually got married, her own 'friends' will make sure her life turns into a nightmare just because her two previous relationships did not work out..............

and do you think that a marriage,which has been propped up a mendacious lie,is going to be really successful😕..If,by any chance,the boy comes to know about his wife's lying at a later stage,wouldnt he lose all respect for her...Wouldnt she be worse off then😕..Her husband may(for all we know) never trust her again,because he would most definitely feel betrayed..In a way,I agree with JP...She did a good thing by telling the boy the truth, as the girl can marry someone who really doesnt care about these things,but unlike JP,I wouldnt blame the boy for being regressive(its his personal belief afterall) nor would I call a man who attaches nugatory importance to virginity really "progressive"😕

Originally posted by: Minnie

Now one more thing. I understand that your friend lied to that boy because she really wanted to get married, and perhaps have a chance at happiness

That,at the cost of deceiving the boy👏😕...Lets reverse the entire scenario...Suppose a boy lied to a girl,that he doesnt drink and smoke,so that he gets married to her for his sheer glee🤢..That,to him,might just be one of his foibles,something really picayune...But,the fact remains the same that the girl was betrayed😭

Originally posted by: Minnie

......but why did you keep the email anonymous? You are a stickler for truth and honesty......so what made you send that annonymous email? What stopped from writing your name on it ? What stopped you from marching up to that guy, in person, right in front of your 'friend' and tell him that she is cheating and lying to save her and her family's skin...............

I agree here...sonali ji could have done that😕

Originally posted by: Minnie

Just to let you know, hiding is just another form of lying.............and betraying the trust of a friend is as great a sin as lying........

No,hiding isnt lying😊...At the risk of sounding a bit too harsh,Hiding is a form of cowardice🤢,but hiding!= lying

Besides,it matters as to whom one is fooling...Lying to a distant relative and lying to the parent/spouse isnt one and the same...

Originally posted by: Minnie

sin as lying

I elucidate in advance that the below said words have NO RELEVANCE TO THIS TOPIC

I know this would trigger off 5545856565656565656 counter posts,but lying for a selfless good cause isnt a sin😆..Lord Krishna egged on Yudhisthir to lie...So see,not every lie is a sin😉..But I'm not comparing Lord krishna or yudhisthir to sonali or her friend..reiterating,it has no pertinence to this quote

Originally posted by: Minnie

Though who knows....perhaps ultimately she would have the courage to tell him the truth, and he would eventually accept her, maybe even tell her a thing or two about himself. Now wouldn't that actually be a match made in heaven???

That is the utopian ending😆...Hmmm,so lets apply the reverse psychology...what if ultimately she musters the courage and pours her heart out to him,and he eventually feels betrayed and deceited😕,and maybe he might harbour nothing but detestation for her after then..Wouldnt that be a match made by the satan😈😭

Originally posted by: Buffie

Firstly,these are personal notions😊....saying that a guy who attaches importance to his and his would be's virginity is regressive or shallow is as analogous as saying that a girl who choses to save her virginity till marriage is regressive 😛....How can we, the third person ,be judgmental about an individual's personal perspectives😕..Someone may not want to wear anything but a saree or a salwar...Its that person's own belief and her choice...How right is it to call such a person retrogressive😕...BTW,There arent any certain rules which states as to which beliefs are progressive and which are regressive..Who are we to decide what is frivolous and inconsequential😕....A hypothetical case.....Someone may not want marry a manglik,I might feel that the science of astrology is absolute rubbish and i might get someone of my family married into another family by concealing the fact that she's a manglik....I might say that the in-laws may never find out the fact that she's a manglik,because I might have changed her horoscope(or any such inglorious act🤢) ...I perhaps did all that because I felt that the whole manglik crap is insignificant,but does that make me right.....NO,...why????..because i cheated the bridegroom's family...They dont deserve the contemptible deception..(PS...I thoroughly believe in astrology and thus I would never do any such thing..lol,just to not get misconstrued😳)..All are personal beliefs at the end of the day...Just as there are women who would want to marry a man who doesnt drink/smoke/slept around,arent men too entitled to want to marry a chaste woman...I am 100% sure people here would condemn an act where a man has lied to his fiance that he doesnt drink,whereas in actuality,he does.....🤢

and do you think that a marriage,which has been propped up a mendacious lie,is going to be really successful😕..If,by any chance,the boy comes to know about his wife's lying at a later stage,wouldnt he lose all respect for her...Wouldnt she be worse off then😕..Her husband may(for all we know) never trust her again,because he would most definitely feel betrayed..In a way,I agree with JP...She did a good thing by telling the boy the truth, as the girl can marry someone who really doesnt care about these things,but unlike JP,I wouldnt blame the boy for being regressive(its his personal belief afterall) nor would I call a man who attaches nugatory importance to virginity really "progressive"😕

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Buffie, what that girl did was wrong, and no one is refuting that. Lying is wrong. But lying for a greater cause is not a wrong. marriages have been known to fail on filmsier grounds.

Trust me, if that girl emphatically says no to each and every charge, there is nothing that guy can do to prove otherwise. It's all in the perspective. Will she be right in dong so? No. Personally, I would not even touch such a man with a bargepole if he asks me such personal questions. ut if I have to, I wouldn't hide anything.That I don't support pre marital sex is a different issue altogether. Personally, if a man has to marry me, he has to accept as I am. And I have done it in my own life.But does that mean that I go judging each and every person from my own moral high grounds?

Just say for one moment, it's your own sister for whom the parents are desparate to find a match, and you know she has been this way. They finally find a match, and everything is set. So would you actually go and tell the guy that what a bad girl your sister is?? Would you? Would you wash all the hopes and aspirations of your whole family and your own sister for something she might have done out of naivity? For a love affair gone bad for she has already suffered? And that too do it behind her back so that no one finds out it was you who ruined the lives of so many people for what you 'perceived' as right? Is not being a virgin as great a sin as being a drug addict or drunkard? Is it a sin at all? Except for personal notions, presuming that everything is fine medically, can you name one harm that loss of virgiity can bring for any girl or boy?

I have known girls who have led the most sheltered lives, being completely untouched even by the eyes of opposite sex cheating on their husbands even before the first year is out. I would prefer a non virgin male or female who has the ability to distinguish between wrong and right anyday to such a female who cheats in a relationship, be it marriage or friendship !!!

Originally posted by: Minnie

Just say for one moment, it's your own sister for whom the parents are desparate to find a match, and you know she has been this way. They finally find a match, and everything is set. So would you actually go and tell the guy that what a bad girl your sister is?? Would you? Would you wash all the hopes and aspirations of your whole family and your own sister for something she might have done out of naivity? For a love affair gone bad for she has already suffered? And that too do it behind her back so that no one finds out it was you who ruined the lives of so many people for what you 'perceived' as right? .....
.....But Buffie, the fact remains that betraying a freind's trust IS the greatest sin of all. With friends like that who would ever need enemies !!!!....

....Wrong? yes.But will it harm? No.

Because ultimately, she might turn out to be a great wife, and devoted daughter in law, a great mother,whose whole family is her life. Will being a virgin before marriage matter? Hence it is not same as being a smoker or a drunkard, where smoking can kill or drinking can ruin.

Originally posted by: MNMS

U never know wht might happen some day and a person changes... Giving a chance is necessary... she might change herself and give her 100% to the relationship.. Hope never dies!

Originally posted by: aman8us9a6

i have a question.........if get an arranged marriage.....then how do u have sex wit the guy even though u dont know him or even love him???? i would neva do that

aman8us9a6 wrote:

have a question.........if get an arranged marriage.....then how do u have sex wit the guy even though u dont know him or even love him???? i would neva do that

I can very well understand ur curiousity!!

The very first thing to suppport my answer is "How about the ONE NIGHT STAND", quite common these days. How these people manage to do all that with a person whom they do not even konw.

The second aspect is "The factor of "TRUST". SEX is not the name of marriage. Two persons are together not only for SEX. LOVE flourishs under the umbrella of trust. One of my closest friend married to a girl whom he never met earlier. But this actor is not at all affecting his married life in any way. He had showed a great trust in the dicision of his parents and leading an enjoyable life (with LOVE & SEX both).