**My first story AT PG 4 :)**

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Deepika

@ADreamyDeepz28

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#31

Its my suggestion please make the font a little bit readable... Itna chotha font padney keliyeh bohoth strain hoga Shiva... I will comment soon😊. Editing yaha hih karoonga and will PM when I edit this comment... 😛 Please its a request dear...Abhi time thodah kam hai par as soon as I get time will surely read it and comment... 😊😊

Edited by DreamyDeepz28 - 13 years ago

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Maria

@maria-rock

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

#32

nice story...great work👏

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Roopal Gupta

@..Roopal..

Trailblazer

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#33

finally shiva di
wait is over
your story is here
gosh
party time na
will surely read if i got time

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Mini :)

@--MINOZ--

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: sherdilali
exilent yar i enjoyed so much u know mje stories ka bht maza ata he is lye aik hi sans me puri parh li for u shiva👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

OMG ???? tumhe story achhi lagi??😲😲😲😲 I cant believe it😲😲😲...

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Mini :)

@--MINOZ--

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: maria-rock
nice story...great work👏

really😲😲???? Thanks😃

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Mini :)

@--MINOZ--

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: roopalgupta
finally shiva di
wait is over
your story is here
gosh
party time na
will surely read if i got time

OK dear😃😃... jab time mile tab pad lena😃😃😃...

(Mai eggs and tomatos khane ke liye ready hu😆😆😆😆)

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sherdilali

@sherdilali

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: shiva17

OMG ???? tumhe story achhi lagi??😲 I cant believe it😲😲😲...

shiva not only me see more than 10 members hit like they all like it⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Mini :)

@--MINOZ--

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: DreamyDeepz28
Its my suggestion please make the font a little bit readable... Itna chotha font padney keliyeh bohoth strain hoga Shiva... I will comment soon😊. Editing yaha hih karoonga and will PM when I edit this comment... 😛 Please its a request dear...Abhi time thodah kam hai par as soon as I get time will surely read it and comment... 😊😊

Its OK di Aaraam se padiye story😊 (waise bhi story me padne ke baad mujhe Bahut maar padegi Aapse😆😆😆)

Di edit kar diya hai ab theek hai ya aur Large fonts karu????😊

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Mini :)

@--MINOZ--

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: sirilikesdaya

nice story shiva👏👏

Sachi???😲😲😲

THANKS dear😃😃😃😃

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-SNEHAL-

@-SNEHAL-

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#40

Feww!! Finally you managed to post the story!

Good idea but the execution could have been better! Like instead of writing abhijeet apne haath kaise bhi chuda leta hai, you could have elaborate that kaise bhi!

Being your first attempt its really good i must say! But i when i read the promo i was expecting the brains of CID being used to find the culprit and then save abhijeet without scratch.. U know he being shot in front of the whole team( and that too when team knows this will happen) is kinda failure of team.. N our CID cant fail.. right?

Dont take me wrong but this is what i actually felt..

Keep it up! I m waiting for more from you!!