Why, you and Angake have taken the time to address the issues individually.and I appreciate your responses so much. You have explained the family dynamics with each character and it is really informative. I am short on time but I will keep revisiting the responses. It also helps me understand where the rest of the characters come from in viewing RaDev's relationship and the uniquely different, yet in some ways the same dynamics between the 2 parivaars. Puroghits are a bigger family so more is involved but Shashtriji being a smaller unit has similar approach to duty and obligation. Thanks for taking the time out to write back such a thoughtful responses to individual questions in terms of the 2 parivaars.
Gardes, you raised so many good points and everyone has such excellent responses. I am going put some more thoughts to one of your questions.Is the conflict between the 2 women perceived by Radhika more and is it underestimated or ignored by Dev?Dev doesn't really understand or even know about the conflict between his mother and Dadi. Dadi has always been his confidant and his mother adored him. After the first marriage debacle for Dev and Vaishali's rigid response, Dev doesn't confide in Vaishali and became a distanced son who respects his mother, but doesn't really trust her. That distrust increased after Vaishali went behind his back and asked Radhika to leave Dev alone. Now Dev only knows that Vaishali's reluctance was due to him having only one marriage in his kundli and maybe because Radhika is not a biological daughter of a high caste family. But he thinks that she has now agreed to his wishes. Also, Vaishali seemed to like Radhika before the marriage even if she was never very warm towards her.Dadi on the other hand adores Radhika and never liked Vishaka. She only tolerated Vishaka because she was under the impression that Vishaka is Dev's love. Dadi has always censored Vaishali whenever Vaishali crosses her limits and Vaishali being traditional has so far never disobeyed Dadi (I think this is going to come as Vaishali is getting riled up and will blow up one day).Radhika is a sensitive person as she was always an outsider everywhere. Only with Dev, she can be herself without being judged. Dev is her best friend, confidant besides being her lover and husband. So, she can see the resentment in Vaishali and understands that even one mistake from her will increase the anger. Radhika has always respected her elders and since Vaishali is also Dev's mother, she gets that added respect. After Dev and Shastriji, she is close to Dadi. Even yesterday, they showed her hugging Dadi but not Vaishali. In fact, Vaishali did not even say a word or blessed her when Radhika touched her feet. Even when Radhika was living at PB, Vaishali turned against her even after one perceived mistake (meeting Purab) even though Radhika had done so much for the family before. So, Radhika has to constantly prove herself to Vaishali that she is worthy of being CB of this family.Dev doesn't understand that. He has never been in Radhika's situation. He knows that Radhika was mistreated at her own house. Here, he knows that the evil trio doesn't like her, but he is not concerned about that as they are not powerful. Other than that, he knows that Vivek and Dadi are big supporters of Radhika and he himself is there so he feels that Radhika is an adored member of his family. Dev's thinking is from his paternal side (grandfather, grandmother, father) and so he doesn't relate to the narrow mindedness of Vaishali. Also, he has a lot of confidence in his own abilities to protect Radhika and hence his blindness towards his own mother.Does Dev understand that Radhika has to live more in the jenana (women's world) than in Dev's arms?Dev knows that but he doesn't understand the complications. He is not concerned with small matters and will only involve himself if Radhika complains or he overhears something. Other than that, he is least interested. He is so traditional that he doesn't even take a glass of water himself and has always relied on Radhika to serve him. His expectations from his wife is that she will do all the RP duties, keep peace in family and be traditional. In return, he likes to protect her and indulge her. He used to give lectures to Vishaka all the time about being proper CB especially after Radhika left his house. On the other hand, he doesn't need to do that with Radhika as Radhika overdoes the duty stuff anyway. If anything, he has to ask her to tone it down so that Radhika can take care of herself too and doesn't get exploited by people like Mrinalini.Does Dev see the intensity of the tug-of-war in the PB household with Radhika caught in the middle of it and she may not wish to inflame it further?
I think he sees it to some extent as evident in Puja and other stuff. He even appreciates her efforts to fit in the family, but he feels that any conflict is due to Mrinalini and not Vaishali. He is blind to the fact that Radhika is least concerned about Mrinalini (look at her response to Neg from Mrin), but is more affected by Vaishali because Vaishali is Dev's mother and also because Radhika knows that Vaishali does love Dev intensly. He doesn't even see that sometimes Dadi keeps quiet even if Vaishali is unjust towards Radhika to maintain peace. Dadi knows that Vaishali is being influenced by Mrin, but is helpless at this time to do anything about it. She has tried to make Vaishali understand the value of Radhika, but knows that she can only do so much. Hence, it would be Radhika's burden to keep on proving to Vaishali as expected by Shastriji. Since Radhika is always going to be quiet about Vaishali's behavior, Dev will never know unless Dadi tells him or he sees it himself. Therefore, Radhika will always be balancing herself between his wishes and Vaishali's immaturish behavior.
I will write more later on other questions.
Anupamaa
