"You know what Swayam Shekawat? Let's break up!"
The words hit Swayam like a huge tsunami wave. Did Sharon say what he heard? Did she just break up with him? His heart beat increased in pace and he felt light headed as a sense of deja vu swept over him.
"Every relationship has compromises. But if only one person compromises every time then he has no other choice but to break the relationship."
"Break it then! Break everything!"
"I want to move on. Without looking back. I am breaking up with you Sharon."
Recovering from those memories Swayam turned his gaze back to Sharon whose face was contorted with frustration and hurt, her eyes teary.
"Sharon...?" he asked, his voice hollow with disbelief.
Sharon looked a Swayam and her heart cringed looking at the hurt in Swayam's eyes. She could see him breaking and it stung her bad, to put both of them in misery. She loved him, no denying that. But the fact that he had remained silent when his family insulted her left her with no other choice. She needed the space from his family...from him.
"You heard me right Swayam." Sharon spoke in the sternest voice she could manage. "I can't handle your family anymore. I cannot try so hard to impress your aunt when she insults me every chance she gets. I cannot take in the fact that you would never really defend me no matter what your family says. And I cannot keep hurting myself anymore Swayam. I need a break from this. Time and space to sort myself out." She said, hot tears flowing down her cheeks.
Swayam stared at Sharon helplessly as a searing pain rose up in his chest. He didn't know what to do. He could see how hurt Sharon was and it killed him to see her like that. At the same time he didn't know how he could live after letting her go. He couldn't lose Sharon. She...she was his life. Tears filled up his eyes as he stared at Sharon. They looked deep into each other's eyes and all they could see was pain. Swayam slowly walked towards Sharon and took her into his embrace. He buried his head in her hair as tears fell from his eyes onto Sharon's dress. Sharon was confused on what Swayam was doing but she gave into the moment. It was blissfully painful.
"I love you Sharon and I am sorry I let you down. And...if you need a break" he gulped "...you can have the break. After all your wish is my command."
Sharon pulled back immediately as he said this because a heavy feeling of guilt had started forming inside her and she couldn't handle it. It would drive her crazy and she knew it.
Swayam's eyes fell on the ring as Sharon pulled away. He felt nauseous as he thought about it. They were engaged. Their hearts had been tied together. And now, could they be torn apart? Only time could answer that question. As of now Swayam had to be selfless, for Sharon's happiness. If a break up was what she wanted then a break up was what she would get. Anything and everything for her.
"Sharon..." Swayam croaked "what about..." his voice was extinguished by the heartache as he pointed to the silver metal on her finger.
Without thinking for a second Sharon replied curtly "it's mine. I am keeping it."
Swayam didn't know how to react to her answer. Was he supposed to smile because she still loved him and exercised her right on him or was he supposed to cry because in spite of everything they were drifting apart today, without thinking twice.
Sharon and Swayam stared at each other sometime and it hurt Sharon, a lot.
"You should leave now Swayam." Sharon turned her back to Swayam, tears still streaming down her face.
"I love you Sharon" he said in a broken whisper and rushed out of her house without a backward glance, his vision blurry.
----------
Swayam walked down the empty road, his arms folded around himself as the cold breeze blew past him. The night was darker than usual reminding just like his life. Swayam walked into the garden near his house and sat on the bench, trying to keep himself together. He had no idea of going home and face his family. He was angry with them for treating Sharon like this, make her cry. He held his face in his palms and broke down as memories flooded his brain.
"I'll say it in front of everyone...I love you too. I love you"
"Please stay with me"
"You call me and I don't come, is it possible?"
"I want to be much more than your boyfriend, I want to hold your hand and tell the whole world that you are mine...just mine. I want to share the dances of life with you, the biggest dance is life itself. Will you share the dances of life with me? Will you be something more than my girlfriend? Will you marry me Sharon?"
"Yes! Yes!"
Sharon hugged her pillow tight as the ring on her hand peered at her as if asking, Now what?' She didn't know how to deal with this breakup. Did she even want to deal with this?
"I love you Sharon"
Sharon closed her eyes as the pain in his voice pierced her heart. Tears seeped through her closed eyelids and she started sobbing. Soon she drifted off due to exhaustion.
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
-------------------------
9