Posted:
I am currently typing the letter to Ameeta that Snigs asked for. So, It'll take me more time to unres.
Also I have a lot to say tonight. ^_^
Feel free to res your positions.
Also, do not mention the word HAWT, or HOT for the dance. It was anything but that. It was soulful, beautiful, graceful, elegant, passionate, and above all, un-earthly. But it definitely wasn't HOT. Saying it was HOT would be degrading it.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Of Passion And Deceits
Hello My Lovelies.
I have no words. I am exhausted. I am completely exhausted today.
Remember that I had said yesterday that as soon as the dance became ArSha rather than KriYaansh, I would silently just take in the torture?
I cannot believe what happened tonight.
It was KriYaansh. Pure, out and out KriYaansh. It was so blissful, that I don't even want to say a word about it. I have already typed so much regarding the dance, that now I am all out of words.
I'll start with the start, if I can. I don't really think I am somebody who can even comment on it. You see, things like these. Things so unearthly... cannot be commented upon by a mere human like me.
The moment these two attained position, it was clear on Rey's face that he didn't want to do this. He was already weak and rattled from the inside, he knew he wouldn't be able to hide his emotions when he danced. Dance is the one thing that makes him honest, that he uses to express himself to the world, then how is he supposed to control himself and not show emotions when dance is the thing which brings out his emotions the most.
While Kria, she was as confused as she could be. She was scared, expecting for him not to blast out on him. She was expectant, hopeful, that maybe... just maybe he'd cooperate.
And then the music started, and it was as if they transpired into another world.
Every time I watch these two dance together, I feel ashamed at how I have achieved nothing in life. These two make me yearn to be more perfect. These two make me want to be as passionate about something in life, as they are about dance.
The way she just moves so fluidly, and the way he just supports her throughout. When she stretches her leg out, and he holds her and they do a perfect life almost thrice, I think to myself how in the world does a mind conceive such a brilliant dance step? The way she beautifully just trusts him throughout to hold her. The way he tauts her like a string, holding her hands, and she stretches her leg. The look on his face when he watches her perform one miracle after miracle.
And then he catches her mid air. And does not LET go. She is confused, taken in, absorbed in the moment. But doesn't know what to do. Why is he not leaving her. Why is he holding her as if his life depends on it? Why is he touching her as if there is nothing else he would want to touch? Why?
The look on his face. He doesn't want to hold her, but its as if his body is not listening to him. Everything, every sense or reason, has flown out of his mind and heart, and he can't help but just hold her. Touch her like she is the most precious. She is what she was to him back in those years. She is his everything.
During this moment, they both have tears in their eyes. Like they are cursing the world to exist. Like they are angry at God, to have made their story so sad. Like they hate it that they didn't get a happy ending.
During this moment, I was reminded of the words of a favorite song...
The Devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us.
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us.
It is terrible what happened to them. And they hate it till now.
And then the rain...
The way those first droplets slid down as if they were crying, it was such symbolism personified.
And he lets go. He lets go of reason. He lets go of anger. He lets go of the world that he hates.
He touches her unabashedly, feeling as if his own soul needs that touch. And after doing a few steps, he just stops. He goes to her, and takes her in his arms. He holds her by one arm, and she trusts him completely as she flies.
Then as she is twirling, he just pulls her with all his force into his chest. He doesn't care about the dance, about annual day, about academy, about anything in that moment. He just knows that he HAS to just hold her. Touch her. That is as necessary for him as breathing in that moment. He is accepting that he needs her. And that he can't help feeling that way.
The way she jumps into his arms, he unnecessarily touches her more than required. He holds her leg close to his waist as she is shivering with both heat and cold. He doesn't let go, and she doesn't know why he is doing so.
And just like that, the dance ends. With her shivering, and him holding her like a pillar of strength. They both are still in that transcendent world and consequences would ensue when they come back to reality.
And just like that, it all ends. It does. And they both don't know what to do anymore. She just stands there shivering, and he looks guilty for a moment. He does what he knows best, be a gentleman and give her his jacket. But then holds her for a moment more than necessary.
He slowly comes to terms with what he did and he starts loathing himself for it.
But she... She is dangerously hopeful again. So, with a hope that he didn't know he gave her, she says "Kal milte hai?" And all he can do in the moment is nod.
After that, comes the part which I loved so so so damn much. The song O Saiyaan Re. I actually shed a tear in that song sequence today. A single tear, mind you.
The moment when she is moving out of the shower. And she has a residual smile, unknown to her on her face. I pitied that smile... Because that would get broken soon.
The lyrics seemed to echo my sentiment..
Saacha bole naa Jootha Maahiya Re.
Rey, without helping it, has made things worse. So much worse.
Then, came Rey's scene. It was heartbreaking to watch him too. Because, it is not his fault that he is so bitter. He doesn't want to be. He wants to be normal again. He wants not to feel this conflicted by his heart. And the lyrics echoed that too.
Joothi Maaya ka jhootha hai jeeya Re.
Ab kis disha jaaun? Kit main basera paaun?
He doesn't know what is right from wrong anymore. His heart, his gut is telling him something else... while, the reality that his eyes see is something else. He does NOT know anything from anything anymore.
Cut to Kria, as she comes out of the shower.
Tu joh thaame sambhal jaau.
How much does she want him to believe in her. How much does she wants things to go back to being alright again. Her heart is beating, betraying her again as she remembers how he felt on her.
And then he is shown splashing water on his face. Trying to eradicate the actions that just happened. He hates himself. Absolutely loathes what he has done. And now, he doesn't want to live in this world which makes his breathing labored. He feels suffocated.
The episode ended there for me. Sorry for boring you with all of it. It was unearthly. And with such intense depth going on the screen, I really don't understand how one could call it HAWT? It wasn't. Really, believe me... It wasn't hot.
Ciao.
Much Love.
Anks.
P.S - This is going to be the last post of this week for me. Because I am leaving town.
Arjun
