Written by Destiny and Etched in Blood: A FF (Ch 54: Pg 100 NEW) - Page 43

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Posted: 8 years ago
Dear friends,

This FF is now 30 chapters old. I am midway or 2/3rds through my planned storyline. It is becoming too difficult to sift through the pages to re-read some of the earlier chapters for old readers. And new readers who want to catch up with the story are being put off by the enormous amounts of intervening pages which is slowing down their reading considerably. Thank you to one of my readers who brought my attention to this fact. When I tried doing that myself, I realized their problem. So I am copy pasting the earlier chapters here continuously. Hope that will simplify matters for everyone! Enjoy the whole story till now in one continuous read!

Shailaja.

Chapter One: The Power to Hurt

Nandini was looking out of her window lost in deep thought that she had not observed the arrival of her husband, the Emperor of Magadh, Chandragupt Maurya! There were many days and nights when she just felt soiled to be united in name and relation to the person who had literally destroyed her maternal family. To owe her body and soul to the very person who had snuffed them out was an insufferable pain that was eating away her inner vitals. This Nandini was a complete stranger to her former self. She was just an empty shell.

In the initial days before and after her marriage, she made two disastrous attempts to assassinate the person whom she held responsible for everything that was wrong in her life. Due to his mother Moora and Guru Chanakya's watchful care, he survived both these attempts. Even she too could realize what a fool she must have made of herself doing whatever she had been doing. Why she couldn't bring herself to properly kill or dispose off someone! It takes guts to slash somebody as pitilessly and mercilessly as Chandragupt Maurya had done with her father and brothers before her own eyes in one fell sweep.

What did she do in return? Poisoned his marriage Haldi. Ridiculous isn't it? Curiously the Haldi came back to her and she was the one who had needed saving by him. She detested that she owed her life to the person whom she wanted to kill.

This saga did not stop here. After their marriage, she dropped a flower pot on him from a height. But the person who got hurt in this foolish attempt was Rajmata Moora. She had never wanted to hurt the kind and old noble lady. She and all the ladies in her family owed it to her that they were treated with kindness and their self-respect and self-esteem was not trampled upon day in and day out by the others.

As Chandragupt held his bleeding and unconscious mother in his arms, his eyes a picture of shock and dread at the thought of losing his mother, disbelief and incredulity at how such an accident could happen to her, his quizzical and inquisitive glance at her face on which guilt was plainly written, realization dawning on him that it was her behind everything, and finally his cold-blooded hatred and smoldering glance which seemed to tell her, "Now you're going to pay for this lady! Not just you but the remnants of you leftover family."

Moora was removed to her room and placed under the most able physicians in the country. As she looked into Chandragupt's deep, drowning and bloodshot eyes, she just could not decipher or decode what scenes or thoughts were playing there. She thought that she and all the ladies in her family would be called to treason or punished. Oddly enough they were not. They were just ignored.

She, Nandini, ought to have been happy that her Nemesis, Chandragupt was is such pain and trauma. But she was not. Her revenge had not played as it should have. She wanted to hurt just him and not any of his family, much less Moora! She was not allowed to see or meet Moora and shut off from anywhere near the old lady. She wanted to atone for her mistake by nursing back Moora to health.

Her husband summarily dismissed her to her room. He neither questioned her nor sought her explanations. He knew the truth. It somehow pained Nandini that her husband instinctively knew her truth without the need for explanations. How badly he must be thinking about her or her character. Of course it should not have actually have mattered to her what Chandragupt thought about her. But it did! That was what she realized now! She could not let him think that she could wantonly kill or try to kill his mother like that.

Nandini's days were tainted with worry that she would have to carry the guilt and blood of an unjustified murder throughout the rest of her days, and nights in sleeplessness, as Moora vacillated between life and death. That was when she realized the futility of her revenge. She, who could not give a life to somebody, had no right to take one as well. Just as her father was her lifeline, Chandragupt was the lifeline for those around him. Could she snatch it away from them? No definitely not!

But then could she forgive him for all his atrocities against her family? Every time she wore sindoor at the partition of her hair and looked at the barren foreheads of her sisters-in-law and her mother Avantika and Badi Ma Sunanda, the white or colorless sarees they wore, and their unadorned, uncared and ungroomed appearance, she felt a lump forming in her throat. She felt ethically and morally conflicted, and spent out. She could not forgive him at any cost.

How could her hands pray for the welfare of that husband whom she wanted to see dead? She was a failure in every way she perceived herself. She was not a good daughter, not a good sister, not a good wife, not a good daughter-in-law, not a good friend, and above all not a good human being. She could just not bring herself to love her own self. She hated herself and her life every way. Others's hatred and dislike for her now seemed immaterial. Her life as a treasured and pampered daughter seemed to belong to some other life time.

Nandini was startled for a tiny instant to see Chandragupt in her room. Was he here to accuse her or punish her? Of course he could not punish her more than what she was doing to herself. Chandragupt began speaking abruptly without any preface, "I was informed by the Daasis that you have been starving yourself these three days without food or water and that you have not slept even a single minute. I have sent for some food and drink for you."

She was astonished as she blurted out, " I almost killed your mother and yet you..."

Chandragupt spoke carefully without giving away anything in his expressions, "Yes! But she was not your target. I was!"

"Does this mean you are forgiving me?" asked Nandini.

Chandragupt said, "No! I don't! I still hate you! But the pity is that I understand you!"

Nandini was confused and perplexed to the core. The color was leaving her face as she enquired in a barely audible voice,"Ardhath?"

Her husband after a long and pensive pause continued, "I know and you know the truth. Nobody else needs to know. Do you get it? Ma is out of danger."

Nandini questioned, "Don't you want to punish me and see me suffer?"

Chandragupt gave a dry laugh and said, "What will I get out of your suffering? Happiness? Get a life, Lady! I'm no sadist or devil incarnate, though you love to visualize me as one. My pain and pleasures are very different from yours. You don't know me neither do I expect you to try doing so." Nandini stared on wordless and unable to grasp whatever was happening around her. Were she and Chandragupt the same people she knew? These were unsuspected depths. She was drowning in them.

Before she could react to any of this, he departed from there saying, "Bhojan karlo warna mrithyu ko prapth hogi! Agar tum margayi iske karan toh mere paas toh tumhe dene ke liye ashroo tak nahin hain! Teri sari jeevan kuch kiye bina hi wyarth jayegi, teri asisthva sthapith kiye bina hi. (Chandragupt gave a long pause at this juncture before he continued) Kya ho tum? Nand putri ya Chandragupt ki rani? Kaalo aur phir samay mile toh sochlo! Kuch samay iske baad mile toh Ma ko milne aasakthi ho!" (Have your food, or else you will die! If you die as a result of it, I don't have even tears to waste over you. You will have died leading a redundant life without establishing your own identity. What are you? Nand's daughter or Chandragupt's queen? Eat; and if you have time; think over it. If you have some time left after this; you can come and meet Mother if you want!)

That he thought bad about her was clear. But it was heartening to know that he still believed in her to let her see and meet his mother after everything that had happened between them. His words stung her and tortured her to the core. Was her life really so aimless and futile? Was she really nothing on her own? She should not have cared about his words. But she did. He and his words had the power to hurt her as nobody else's did!


Chapter Two: Trial by Fire

In Durdhara's chamber,

The previous three days, all of them had not had a wink of sleep. Durdhara, Chandra and Helena had spent all the preceding three days and nights not leaving Moora alone for even a single instant. They took turns between each other attending Moora. She just could not understand why Chandra had sent Nandini away from Moora.

She knew that Chandra found it difficult to trust Nandini even though she was his own wife as he did her or Helena. But what had happened was an accident and he could not snatch away the right of a daughter-in-law to serve her mother-in-law when the need or occasion for it arose.

She was about to question him but Helena wisely held her back and argued, "I know you don't like me. Moreover, I know you feel sorry and sympathize with Nandini just as much as I hate her. Our husband is already distraught. He is not in a position to think clearly. So you will not argue with him now or take Nandini's side. We still don't know if it is an accident or deliberate plot. Just let it go. Our husband needs both of us now. If you take Nandini's side, there is a chance that he could misunderstand it or feel left out."

Durdhara never expected this level of sensitivity, soft heartedness and clear thinking from someone like Helena. Perhaps she had always been prejudiced against her and saw only her flaws. She never saw Helena's strong as steel and soft as wax side till now. She now knew why Chandra admired her so much.

Helena was cool and collected even in adversity. Whenever she saw any of their spirits sagging or any of them dipping into despondency, she resolutely pulled them out of it with her steady and firm handling. For some reason, Durdhara had been feeling more than usually tired and spent out since the past couple of days. Helena who observed this used to dispatch her off to take rest telling, "You're too soft and fragile for all this. Have some rest and come back when you are fit and fine. We already have one patient. We don't want two."

Durdhara had a long and tiresome day. She had just finished giving parting instructions to the Dasis on what medicines to give to her mother-in-law, Rajmata Moora at night, what else to do for her comfort, and strict injunctions to immediately send for the Raj Vaid, and summon her and Chandra if they felt anything was wrong with her.

When Durdhara was observing, she saw her husband, Chandra hastily pocketing a piece of parchment in his angavastra. She was surprised and amused. She asked him, "What were you hiding from me, Chandra?" He shrugged and said, "Kuch nahin!"

With a swift movement she slipped her hand into his angavastra and pulled out the parchment and looked at it very amazed and astonished, "Kya hai yeh, Chandra?" He reproachfully said, "Why do you want to know every little thing? I was just keeping a count of somebody's mistakes!"

At this Durdhara burst out into peals of laughter as she asked, "And whose may I ask? (Interrupted by laughs in tiny bursts and starts) Mine or Helena's? You're impossible Chandra! You kept that habit of counting your wounds and hurts caused by others to you since childhood till now?"

Chandra looked a bit discomposed and hurt at being made fun of in such a sensitive issue and did not reply to any of it and maintained an icy and distant silence. Durdhara realized that she had gone too far in her joking and held her hands to her ears and started going up and down on her knees doing uthak-baitak saying, "Ab maaf bhi kardo Chandra. Chaho to likhlena usi pathra main!"

Chandra replied, "This parchment has nothing to do with your's or Helena's mistakes!" Durdhara again naughtily creeping back to contentious territory, "Oh my my! So you keep a separate parchment for both of us then! I really must be careful and also advise Helena to be careful. Who really knows how many mistakes we might have made and how many you might have noted!"

Chandra was exasperated by this time and said, "This list belongs to Nandini. Now happy!" Durdhara was a bit concerned this time with Chandra's reply, "Why are you treasuring all this hatred and dislike Chandra? It is just eating you away from inside. Please don't relive or aggravate your wounds keeping a count of them. The situation is bad enough as it is."

Chandra spoke, "I am not reliving my hurt. I am no doormat that I will keep on allowing somebody to walk over my goodness or lenience. I need to keep Nandini alive, hale and healthy due to certain political circumstances which I cannot divulge to you at the present moment. Whatever her crimes or sins, I cannot get her executed for them just now.

Since I cannot do what is right and just immediately, I am keeping a count of them so that when the occasion comes, my punishment and retribution for her will be in consonance with her deeds and mistakes. In the meantime, she also has the opportunity to redeem herself. Provided she proves herself worthy of loyalty and trust, I will forgive her previous mistakes!"

Durdhara was astounded by this revelation. She argued, "Aren't you being unfair to Nandini? She is being observed and on trial and she does not even know it. You are using her and keeping her alive when it suits your convenience, and when it doesn't you are going to castigate and punish her. At least she ought to be told what you are actually doing!"

Chandra retorted, "In all fairness! You can inform Nandini that she is on trial and being closely observed, and to be careful. This warning will only have a contrary effect on somebody like Nandini. She will outdo herself in an attempt to irk me. This suits me even better!

Have you heard this story about Lord Krishna and Sishupaal. Sishupaal was his own nephew. He promised his aunt that he would forgive a hundred sins of Sishupaal without reacting or punishing him. If he does not redeem himself before that, he would punish him. Sishupaal never realized his mistakes or reformed himself. After his 100th sin or mistake, Lord Krishna beheaded Sishupaal with his own Sudarshan Chakra.

This parchment is a testimony of my patience with Nandini. The enmity we share with each other is political and not personal. So I am trying my best to be charitable and forthcoming despite her undeserving demeanor. I definitely do not want to be unjust with her or punish her for somebody else's crimes.

If she will be punished, she will be for her own mistakes. The day my political necessity on her staying alive as my wife and the space in this parchment are over; and she exceeds her quota of crimes against me as a person; the dam of my patience and fortitude will break; and that day Nandini will see and witness what total annihilation is all about! I will eagerly wait in anticipation for that day!"

Durdhara quaked and quivered within herself after listening to this ominous pronouncement. She had always seen Chandra as her close friend. She had never witnessed this darker hue to his personality ever before.

Chandra seemed very serious while he was telling all this. So he must have meant every bit of what he said regarding Nandini. All this wasn't very pleasant to hear for a person as soft hearted and childlike as Durdhara. Moreover she happened to empathize with Nandini for her sorrows.

She ought to warn Nandini to be more careful in future. But for all she cared, Nandini wouldn't heed her warning. If she revealed this to her, the bratty girl would perhaps start committing more mistakes willfully in order to irritate Chandra or drive him to his edge and see the worst he could do! The best she could do was perhaps keep quiet and let destiny play its game.

In the vicinity of a big Shiva temple,

Nandini had been walking since morning all alone. She was fulfilling a vow she made if Moora was safe and out of danger. She was walking unaccompanied by any of her friends and sisters-in-law; or the contingent of soldiers who usually accompanied any queen for security reasons.

There was no palanquin or horse either. Not that she wouldn't be provided them if she had asked for or sought them. She hated asking favors or comforts from the person whom she hated the most. Moreover, she felt irritated by the foolish babbling of her friends; and her sisters-in-law had become too moody or morose for comfort. They made her feel uncomfortable and small every moment at how she was now the Rani, and they were poor widows living at her expense, and so on. She needed some space from all this and a breath of fresh air. The temple of Lord Shiva would be the best place for all this. There at least, she would have some ease and peace of mind.

It was mid-day and the weather was very hot and sultry. Her throat was feeling parched. She wanted to drink some water. She stopped at the shop of a lady fruit vendor and asked for some water. The lady had not observed her face. She instinctively took water from a pitcher beside her in an earthen tumbler and held it up for her. That was when the fruit vendor saw her face. Before she could receive the tumbler from the lady, it slipped and fell down to the ground breaking into a thousand smithereens.

Nandini concluded that she must have misjudged while taking and apologized for her loss and requested for some more water out of the pitcher. The lady held her in a stormy and stony glare before she abruptly said, "Aur kithne apradhon ke liye mafi mangogi? Tumhe yahan seh jal nahin milega! Skshama!" Saying this the lady broke the pitcher of water beside her with her own hands, and all the water which could have quenched her thirst, went waste puddling the earthen ground, as Nandini stared on in disbelief!



Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
Chapter Three: The Moment of Truth

Chandragupt was busy discussing affairs of the state with Chanakya when he received a urgent request for a private audience from the former Queen of Magadh, Avantika. She was ushered in, and when they were in privacy, she agitatedly began, "Nandini has gone to the Shiv Mandir at Vasanthpur all alone without her contingent of soldiers. It is a couple of hours since she left and she has not yet returned."

Chanakya expostulated, "Why wasn't Maharaj's permission sought? Are the Royal Palaquin bearers at least in her attendance?

Avantika getting even more worried, "No! She has not taken the palanquin."

Chanakya a bit worried by now, "You don't mean to say Rani Nandini has gone alone on her horse?"

Avantika by now in tears, "Even worse! She is on foot and none of her friends or sisters-in-law are accompanying her!"

Chandragupt spoke in a dry and wry tone, "I wouldn't have expected much out of the others. But you have yourself been a queen and know how things are outside. You could anticipate the kind of things that could happen to the daughter of a routed king, and that too a king like your husband Nand, and yet you gave her the permission to go out all alone? Incredible!"

Avantika in between her sobs, "I wasn't informed of it or I would have stopped Nandini from going. I came to know of this just now. And...Nandini is not just Nand's daughter...she is your queen as well...As a Kshatriya...you have to safeguard her honor...it is your duty as well!

Chandragupt angrily said, "I don't need to be reminded of my duties by the likes of you! I know your entire clan very well! When you expect a husband to fulfill his duties and responsibilities properly, the wife should also co-operate and understand her husband. I'm just a namesake of a husband. My advice or permission are never sought and my counsels are unheeded. So why should I care? Nandini will come back dragging her feet the way she went."

Avantika realizing that this line of argument was simply not working and even proving to be counterproductive changed her stance and pleaded, "I know that what Nandini did was rash and childish. But I am her mother all the same. A mother is seeking her daughter's safety and security from her king. Maine apna pati khoya hain aur beton ko bhi. Ab Nandini hi meri asra aur buddape ki Sahara hai. Uski praan meri jholi main daaldijiye!" (I lost my husband and sons. Now Nandini is my only support and crutch for old age. Please give me her life in my 'jholi')

Saying those words, Avantika held the hem of her saree before Chandragupt. This approach softened and unnerved Chandragupt to some extent. Though he did not promise anything concrete to her, he dismissed her saying he would try his best to locate where Nandini was.

When alone with Acharya Chanakya, Chandra consulted his opinion whether he thought Nandini had run away from the palace to which he said, "No Chandra, Nandini would not have run away from here of her own accord. She knows that her disappearance will mean doom to her mother and the rest of the ladies in her family. So it can mean only two possibilities! One, she has somehow come to know that Nand is alive and he has succeeded in spiriting her away from us to prevent us from using her against him. Two, Nandini is really in some sort of trouble and needs our help."

Chandra looked disturbed at the first of these possibilities, "Acharya if the first option is true, all our grand plans to trap Nand through this marriage, or at least arm twist him to our agenda have come to naught. If the second, we still do have some hope. We will manage to locate Nandini."

Chanakya nodded in agreement, "If the second, we can salvage things to some extent. But how can we be sure that this incident will not be repeated in future? Nandini knows every nook and cranny of this palace. If she really determines or takes it in her mind to escape from here, she can easily do it. All she cares now is for her Pitha Maharaj. So there must be something more solid to tie Rani Nandini up to this palace than just threats to the welfare of her remaining family."

Chandragupt narrowed down his eyes as he said, "I get your point Acharya and I have hit upon a way to make Nandini stay back of her own accord till we need her." He gave instructions to his soldiers and personally set out in search of Nandini. She was very vital in the mousetrap they were setting up for Nand! Chanakya had alerted and activated his spy network and was trying his own means to locate Nandini's whereabouts!

All of you must be wondering by now what must have happened to Nandini after the head start she got off to early in the morning to Chandra and his soldiers who were searching for her. Let us rewind things to where they were when we left Nandini with the fruit vendor.

Nandini asked the lady why she broke the pitcher of water to which she replied, "You are the daughter of that man who snatched our fields and livelihood from us in the name of tax. My father who raised his voice against this injustice was cruelly murdered by your father and brothers in front of the whole court. My husband, I and our five year old son were hounded out of our ancestral village and our lands were confiscated by your soldiers. Many were the days when my little son went hungry to bed drining just water. And can't I snatch even a tumbler of water from you?"

Nandini was shocked. Her mind told her that the lady was telling the truth but her heart still refused to believe it. She stammered and spoke haltingly, "No...you must be mistaken...my Pitha Maharaj and brothers were good...it must have been his officers and soldiers...he wouldn't have done such a dastardly act..." The lady, extremely irritated by Nandini and her behavior, shouted, "Girl, this is the truth! Take it or leave it! I've no time to waste convincing you. Just get lost!"

Nandini walked on in a daze unable to comprehend anything that she heard. A little further she came to a small hamlet where the entire population was dancing in joy and glee. They seemed to be celebrating some big festival. The whole settlement was decorated with festoons, rangolis were drawn before every hut, and light and diyas were lit everywhere. Everywhere there was a lot of hustle and bustle. Women were cooking sweet kheer in open air hearths and offering it to the goddess.

She felt very happy seeing all this. These scenes livened her up to some extent. She went up to a group of celebrating children who were burning something, and asked them what festival they were celebrating, "Today is not Deepavali. Then what festival are all of you celebrating?"

One of the kids looked up and said, "Don't you know! A big festival it is, actually! You must be new to this place that's why you don't know! That Maharaj Padmanand and his men who used to kidnap girls from our village are no more. Maharaj Chandragupt has defeated him. We will no longer be oppressed by him, his sons or his men. My sister was taken away by those evil men two years ago and she never came back home. Now he or his sons will never come back like these burning effigies."

The kids continued doing what they were doing as Nandini stepped back and started running away from that place unable to bear all those sights and shutting her ears. Strands of her hair jutted out untidily in all this commotion. She touched her cheeks and found them getting wet and wetter. Unconsciously and instinctively her eyes started welling up with tears that refused to stop flowing.

Nandini came to a village well and started washing her face with a bucket of water. But she found that the water was not sufficient to cool down the raging fire within her. She furiously started working and drawing one bucket after the other from the well and drowning herself in them.

The simple village folk and women started observing her frenetic energy and mad actions with wonder before a few of them recognized who she was. They started whispering among themselves and the whispers grew even louder. They spoke, "This is her!"; "It's that Naapit's daughter!"; "She is Raj Nandini!"; "That bas***d!"; "Look at her nerve!"; "That Nand slaughtered half the men here!", etc.

At last they became even bolder, and suddenly one of them picked up a stone and hurled it at Nandini. A few others took a cue from this and even before she could blink an eye, a few more started hurling stones at her. Within a minute, it became a raging mob.

All her tears, pleas and entreaties fell on deaf ears. She ran away for her dear life as fast as she could from that place and hid herself in a small forest in a grove of trees. She crouched behind some bushes hushing herself with her hands so that her sobs would not give away to anyone where she was.

She was unable to ignore the truth that stared blankly in her face anymore. This realization hit her very badly. It literally scorched her. Her mother's words that her father was just a good father and not a good man or good king hounded her.

Nandini was reminded of that conversation with Moora about Karma and how your bad actions come back to you. Was her mother-in-law telling her the truth after all? But what was her fault in all this? Why was she being punished? She had no hand in any of this. She was just ignorant and blind.

Nandini was unable to grasp what was happening with her and why it was happening. She started shivering due to the cold and getting wet. She heard horse hooves approaching her in the distant vicinity. She found herself blanking out and loosing consciousness.

The last image that swam into her vision before she fainted was Chandragupt's face. Her confused brain refused to process this. She thought that she must be delirious and cooking up things. Why would he even be here? Definitely not for her concluded her sagging senses. He had more reason than any of the others she met today to burn her on the stake.

All those stories she had heard endless number of times before this and brushed aside about her father cruelly and deceitfully beheading Chandragupt's father, Suryagupt; his killing 49 new born children; his evil intentions towards her mother-in-law Moora and his ill treatment of her in his prison and getting her whipped and stoned in the town square of Patliputra must have been true after all.

Anyways, she was happy that Chandragupt was here. At least, her suffering would be over in a single instant. This agony was literally unbearable. She still remembered the quick work he had made of all her brothers in one single sweep before her own eyes. She would be thankful to him if he was going to repeat the same with her. Her soul was already dead. He only had to make fast work of her body.


Chapter Four: The Twilight Hour

It was the twilight hour. The day was sinking into the night and darkness was creeping up from all the corners overpowering the light. Nandini was still unconscious. A medical practioner had been summoned. He had examined Nandini and gave his opinion that except for a few wounds caused due to the pelting of stones by the mob, Rani Nandini's ailment was more psychological than physiological. She was suffering due to undue mental stress and trauma.

He had advised setting up camp wherever they were. He did not think that she was in a condition where she could be safely moved to the royal palace of Patliputra. He did not think she would be fit for that journey immediately. A good night's rest and sleep was all that she needed for the present moment. He feared that her mental condition was such that she could sink into mental insanity and lose track of her actual surroundings if properly not taken care of. She had to be brought out of this zone as fast as possible.

Chandragupt ordered his soldiers to set up camp in the forest. Nandini was shifted to her tent and maids were placed in her attendance while Chandragupt came outside her tent to listen to the intelligence reports of what must have actually happened with Nandini before he found her in that pitiable state.

The soldier proceeded to recreate and narrate the ordeal that Nandini had been through in a very banal and matter of fact manner, "Maharaj many of the people living in the areas through which Her Highness has been walking were forcibly uprooted and deported from far flung regions in Magadh which had earlier risen in revolt against Maharaj Padmanand for his exhorbitant and oppressive taxing system. So they seem to have harbored a serious grudge against the entire lineage of Maharaj Padmanand.

Many girls and women in these regions were kidnapped and became victims of war atrocities committed by him and his army. In many of these regions, the male population was literally decimated by half by Maharaj Padmanand. Our reports tell us that Maharaj originally hailed from the village of Mansapur where he was a barber. After becoming the king, he seems to have systematically targeted and elimated those rich and wealthy men whose beards he use to regularly shave in that village.

His charges that these men were overbearing and condescending towards him also seem to have been unfounded and baseless. Maharaj Padmanand was perhaps defensive and had an inferiority complex about his humble origins and so he executed those men whom he thought knew him as a barber or whom he had personally rendered services. Finding Her Highness unattended and alone, the people in this village seem to have given way to their turbulent emotions and feelings. What action would you like us to take against these people Maharaj?"

Chandragupt pondered for an instant before he said, "Nothing! Just let this go. With time, everything would be forgotten. Intimate Acharya that we will be staying for this night here itself and ask for two more contingents of soldiers to be sent here to this location for the sake of safety and security."

Chandragupt was outside Nandini's tent staring at the setting sun between two distant mountains when his reverie was suddenly broken by her loud and incoherent cries. The maids were trying their best to calm her down and get her to sleep.

Chandra hastily entered the tent to look into what the matter was. The Nandini he beheld at that moment was a pale shadow of her former self. Her spirit was broken. She had not been in such a bad state even when she saw him killing her brothers and father before her own eyes. She was mourning, she was vengeful, but she was still alive.

But now all hope seemed to have deserted her. He had wanted to punish her all along but not so cruelly. He felt a slight lump forming in his throat at her state before he resolutely brushed it off from him. Of course she did not know that her father and her brother Dhananand were still alive. Only he and Chankya knew this. This was a confidential matter and he saw no need to disillusion her or her family about this truth.

Chandragupt signaled to the maids, "Ekant!"

Nandini bawled and cried her heart out. He just let her cry her heart out with a wistful and inscrutable expression on his face as he sat before her and watched her. In between her sobs, she lamented, "If this was the truth...why didn't...I ever see it?"
Chandra without changing the dead pan expression on his face, "When one is flying high up in the sky, people at the ground level appear invisible or like tiny ants. It is like they never existed in our world and we just tend to ignore their presence in our world. It is only when we ourselves come to the ground level, we can see their truth and their existence!"

Nandini between her tears, "This is not the first time I have visited the Praja of Magadh. I have been outside my palace before this also. Why didn't anyone tell me this truth before?"

Chandragupt smiled at the large loopholes in Nandini's arguments as he gently explained, "That is not strictly true by the way. All of us have tried to disillusion you about the ground reality at various junctures in various ways. Didn't I and my mother try to tell you the truth? You weren't ready to believe us. Leave us! I think your own mother must have tried to make you understand the truth even before this, didn't she? It's sad that you had to learn the truth this way from your own Praja. But this had to happen some time or the other!"

Nandini said, "Alright, granted that you and mother-in-law told me the truth. But I saw you as Pithaji's enemies. So I was definitely bound to discredit you and believe my father over both of you. Moreover, he was such a great father. Why would I mistrust him?"

Chandra patiently, "We were your enemies so you had every reason not to believe me and Maa just as I never trusted you. But wasn't your own mother worthy of your trust that you refused to believe her words too?"

Nandini unconsciously winced at his words that he did not see her worthy of his trust though the reproof was well deserved and not unjust. She explained, "Ma did not have a very great relationship with Pitha Maharaj. Both of them quarreled frequently. There was no love lost between both of them. They could not stand each other's sight. They stayed together only for my sake.Though I never saw them fighting, I instinctively knew this. So whenever Ma tried to tell me something about Pithaji, I assumed that it was her frustration speaking. But my own Praja...whom I loved a lot...for whom I had done so much charity...could behave like this with me...I interacted a lot with them...but I never heard...anything like this...till now..."

Chandragupt said, "Of course, you might have spoken but none of them would have told you anything. Fear, power, and a few armed soldiers dancing attendance to you would have shut even the bravest voices. One act of charity by you to your Praja will not erase the memories of a thousand acts of oppression committed by your father and brothers.

Do you remember your Tuladhan in gold every year by the Praja of Magadh? Do you think the people were giving all this gold on your birthday willingly and happily? They were forced by your father's soldiers, whipped and punished if they did not. I have been a personal witness of this when I came to Patliputra on your fifth birthday.

Even if you gave a 1/100 th portion of what your father and brothers oppressively took away from them as charity, the general public would see it only as their due. Why would they be grateful towards you? They would assume that you were trying to wash away their sins doing all this charity just like a criminal trying to wipe out his sins by giving a hefty donation to a temple or an orphanage.

You were always surrounded by friends and maids and led a selectively cocooned and sheltered existence in your palace. You would have seen the world outside your palace wall with a rosy tinted glow while the real picture outside would have been very bleak and morose. So full of yourself as you have always been, you would hardly have noticed any of what I have told you. Even if you did, you might have just ignored it."

Nandini realized the solid truth and wisdom in Chandragupt's words, but she was not willing to admit that she had been so blind and conditioned all this while, "No, I wasn't like that! I tried to properly fulfill all my duties as the princess of Magadh."

Chandra gently tried to explain to her, "Nandini there is no need for you to be defensive about any actions of your father or brothers. Some things are greater and higher than all of us; truth, dharma and karma. They are the same for you and me, and everyone in this universe. Learn to accept them as they are without trying to distort or change them to suit your own convenience. If you have been blind and delusional, learn to accept it and learn from it. You will be a happier person and you will be at peace with yourself! Your past was not in your hand, but your present is. Transform your present so that you can see a better tomorrow! Come we've discussed enough for this day. Just sleep away all your cares and worries. I am just outside if you need anything."

Saying this, Chandra was about to retire outside when Nandini resumed a fresh bout of crying. He stepped an inch closer to her and resolutely wiped away her tears as he said, "Everything will be alright. Tomorrow morning we will resume our journey to Patliputra and your mother will be beside you. You can cry your heart out and she will console you. Woh hain na! Sab theek hojayega!"

After these consoling and hurriedly spoken words, Chandra immediately stepped back and left Nandini's tent. He was standing outside her tent before the bonfire that had been lit by his soldiers. It was getting pretty cold by now. He kept rubbing his hands to keep himself warm as he continued staring at the moon. After all, he was a warrior, and he was used to all these slight discomforts in life.

He didn't want to disturb Nandini this night. She needed a good night's sleep to recuperate. Moreover, he could not afford to retire or sleep in his own tent as they were all out in the open in the midst of hostile territory where the general public literally hated anyone from the Nand lineage.

There was also the threat of a surprise night attack by Padmanand and Dhananand if they got wind of these happenings. Just then, he heard a slight rustle and tinkling of anklets behind him. He heard a soft voice tell him, "Dhanyavaad, sab kuch ke liye!"

When he turned back, he found nobody there and the wind slightly whistling past him. But when he turned aside, he saw a neatly folded woolen shawl with a wild forest flower on top of it. He took the flower in his hands and stared long at it, before he took the shawl and tightly wrapped him and the flower within its warmth.



Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Five: A Bird in a Golden Cage

The next day, Chandragupt and Nandini started their return journey to the palace of Patliputra. Looking at the behavior of the two, an outsider would hardly be able to guess that both of them spoke so much and at such depth about several matters. The preceding day had played a major role in removing several misconceptions in Nandini's mind.

As Nandini was getting ready for their return journey to Patliputra, she threw a retrospective glance at the past turn of events. Despite everything she had learnt about her father and brothers, she still mourned their loss. They had been the best father and brothers a girl could ever have. But now she no longer felt compelled to avenge their death from Chandragupt. He had been right in his own place. She was free of that emotional guilt and burden that she had married their murderer.

There was a lot she wished to speak to him about. When she had agreed to marry him earlier, she had done it so that she would get an opportunity to avenge her father and brothers at the next nearest opportunity. But now revenge existed nowhere in her agenda. So what were they going to do with this marriage? She was not ready for it. But would a husband actually agree if she was going to deny him his marital rights, and that too without any justification?

The blood spilt on both sides would forever remain between both of them. Though she was not ready to take forward her marriage in realistic terms and be a good wife to Chandragupt, she could at least fulfill all her duties and responsibilities as a good Rani and somewhat atone for the sins of her family members, and to some extent her own mistakes. But what did Chandragupt himself feel about this entire issue? What did he want out of her?

In his own tent, as Chandragupt was getting ready for their departure, he was saying to himself, "Nandini it is good that you came to know the truth. I don't need you (He addressed these words looking at the flower Nandini had given him the previous night), hence I am leaving you behind. Similarly, I do not immediately require you (These words were spoken by him to his drawn sabre) though I may do in future. So I am sheathing you for the present.

Nandini I still need you; and that too physically and mentally intact for the sake of my present short term and long term goals . So I will save you and keep you with me. I will do everything that will create an illusion of faith and trust in you regarding me. Thera karawas khatam nahi hua. Sirf uske maine parivarthith huve hain! Tum kal bhi mujhse bandhi thi, aaj bhi mujhse bandhi ho, aur kal bhi rahogi jab tak main na chahoon toh!(Your imprisonment is still not over. Only its definitions have changed. Yesterday also you were bound to me, today also you are bound to me, and tomorrow also you will be bound to me until I decide to free you.) The shackles that bound you are still very much there though you might not recognize it; if not for the iron shackles of bondage which have gone, the golden shackles of bondage still remain.

Perhaps by and by as your father and your brother Dhananand will die in my hands, I could set you free. But the moot point still remains whether you would prefer these bonds of gold or your freedom. You might still prefer a lifetime of these golden shackles while I would prefer the situations which hasten your freedom to crystallize. Let's see what the future holds for both of us!"

Chandragupt, along with his personal band of guards, was riding at the front on his horse, followed by Nandini's Palaquin which was flanked on either sides by two contingents of soldiers, and her maids slowly followed behind on foot. They had reached the palace of Patliputra by noon.

The whole palace was buzzing with activity. Moora had recovered comparatively well by now, and she and Helena were back to their own petty squabbles, arguments and differences of opinion. Durdhara was back to doing what she was best in doing, flattering Moora and boosting her ego as the Queen Mother, and at the same time adopting a non-conformist and non-confrontational approach with Helena. Of course, she did not have a specific and set opinion about how things should be done and the right way of doing them.

Durdhara basically sat on the boundary wall between Helena and Moora, doing nothing, not asserting herself, and rarely voicing an opinion or suggestion of her own. So she got on pretty well with both the ladies while the other two were always at loggerheads.

Moora never seemed satisfied with anything Helena did though as far as she, Durdhara, could make out, were impeccably managed and organized. To every decision of Helena's, Moora had the classic retort, "Tum Yavan ho toh tum kaise janogi ki yahan Bharat main kaisa hota hai!" The ultimate result of this, Helena stopped consulting Moora on anything good or bad and did what she deemed was the best because she concluded that Moora would never have anything good or constructive to say about her or her decisions.

Tomorrow was going to be the festival of Theej. Moora was of the opinion that it was the first Theej of Chandragupt's three wives. So she had wanted the palace to be thrown open for the festivities and a very grand and lavish celebration to be organized. Helena had deferred telling that it would be a very great risk looking at the fact that Chandragupt was still in the early days of his rule and had still not established and stabilized his control fully well over Magadh.

Uprisings by Nand's supporters and retainers still kept happening in several corners of Magadh though they were promptly and resolutely put down by the sagacity of Acharya Chanakya. Similarly a lavish and grand celebration would put a severe strain on the state coffers and palace budget. So Helena went to Chanakya and got him to agree to her decision of having just a simple family function and celebration and not a grand affair.

Moora though not pleased that her wishes had been passed over, spoke nothing for the time being. She saw that her daughter-in-law had cleverly check mated her by seeking Chanakya's agreement for her plans. She was severely displeased but kept quiet and bided her time for Chandragupt's return. Without waiting for him to even settle down properly after the journey, she directly launched into an account of her plans for the next day's festival and sought his opinion on her schemes. Caught unawares, Chandra just asked her to do as she pleased and felt was advisable and that she had his full approval.

Moora gave a triumphant smile at having both Helena and Chanakya unwittingly overruled by Chandragupt himself. Though to some extent shocked and tricked into this celebration by Moora against their own better judgement, Helena and Chanakya proceeded to make the best of a bad deal. Since it was Chandragupt's order now, all of them had to follow his judgement. They proceeded to plan and work out the modalities of how it would and should be done.

That night all the ladies in the family assembled in the royal lawn. They were all making flower garlands, pounding turmeric on hand pestles and stone mortars, and arranging fruits for the next day. Moora began addressing her three daughters-in-law on how to conduct themselves during the Theej, what to do and what not to do, and concluded with a hitting remark that though she needn't have given this exposition to the others as they were Bharatiya by birth, there was one in particular who needed it, looking pretty pointedly at Helena while making this remark. Helena retorted to it telling, " Main Bharatiya hoon, Maaji! Shaadi ke baad sasuraal hi ladki ki apni ghar hoti hai aur pathi ka desh hi apna desh hota hain. Aap mujhe kab apna manegi, Maaji?"

Moora said to Helena, "Thinking does not make anybody one's own. One has to be by birth and blood. Durdhara is my own, Nandini to some extent comparatively is, but you are not! You're just a deficit deal I was forced to accept, while Nandini is an unpleasant compromise because that is the only honorable way left out for the women in a defeated king's harem. If I have to call somebody my own, I can do only Durdhara."

Helena swiftly got up and sashayed from there saying, "I'd rather not be called your own by you. All I care about is Chandra. As long as he is with me, I don't care about the rest of you. Main akeli hi aap sab pe bhari hoon!" After she reached her room, Helena brushed off a lone tear from her eyes.

Moora bit her lips in frustration and impatience at her elder daughter-in-law's petulant behavior. It was still early days, but if she, Moora, was not going to take Helena down a notch or two in the days to come, she did not know herself fully well.

Durdhara, after seeing this spat, felt a bit concerned and upset about the fact that she and Chandra had taken forward their relationship while his and Helena's was still stationary and stagnant wherever it was. She dreaded what Helena's reaction would be when she would learn about this truth.

That same night as Moora was talking to Chandra, Nandini sought permission for talking to Moora. She saw Chandra there and hesitantly asked her if she could speak to her alone to which Moora refused telling Chandra was her husband and there could be no secrets between a husband and wife.

Nandini painfully winced at the word 'wife'. She was not ready to be one yet. Why had she got into this? She was better off as a Daasi or a prisoner of war. Her life and her decisions were her own. She was accountable to none. But now being a wife, it was expected of her to willingly and happily comply with all these duties and responsibilities. Nandini hesitatingly began, "I have tried my best, but I will not be able to willingly keep up the Theej fast tomorrow. Will you please excuse me? I hope you will understand my situation!"

Moora highly irritated, "And why will you not keep this fast? This is about my son's life and your 'Suhaag'. I will not compromise on that Nandini. As a wife, if you're supposed to fast for your husband, you are expected to fast. You will not be exempted from it. I just gave you a decent and honorable option after the death of all your male family members. I hope you recognize that and behave accordingly. If you couldn't bring yourself to fulfill your duties and responsibilities as a wife and a queen, you should have chosen to remain a prisoner of war or a Daasi. You can't have your privileges and escape from your responsibilities at the same time."

Chandragupt intervened telling, "Maa if she doesn't want to fast for me don't force her to. An unwilling fast is not going to actually protect me. My greatest blessings and protection are your ashirwaad and Acharya Chanakya's for me. I don't care about what the rest do. You may go now! You need not fast tomorrow."

He mused within himself, "It does not actually matter to me whether you fast for my long life or not. But it will definitely matter to your father and brother who I expect will definitely try to infiltrate into the palace tomorrow evening when its doors would be thrown open to the general public for the festivities.

Acharya Chanakya or Helena might not have preferred doing this as it is risky. But I wanted to do it at the first nearest opportunity, and when Maa suggested this idea, I immediately jumped the offer. It is a calculated risk and will pay rich dividends. If we keep on waiting, your father and brother may never come out of the mouse hole they have gone and hidden. After the passage of some time, they might attack when security is lax, and I might not be ready for them.

When I was small, my foster mother used to tell me the story of a very powerful sorcerer whom no body could kill because he had hidden his life in a bird which he kept hidden beyond the seven seas in a golden cage. That was his strength and his weakness as well. So to control the magician, you had to control the bird. That evil magician is still out in the open. But that bird in the golden cage with which he can be controlled is with me.

When your father and brother see you fasting for my long life and health, and for remaining a Suhaagan forever, they will not be able to execute their plans against me as easily as they have planned. They will stop in their tracks at least for an instant to think what they should do. That one instant will be sufficient for me and Acharya Chanakya to bring them under our control.

But if I directly force you to keep the fast, you will not. Hence these indirect means for I see that you love to do the opposite of what I tell you. If I tell don't fast for me, you will definitely fast. From now on, I will make you do the things I want, my way, by allowing you the freedom to have your own way."

Moora did not seem too pleased with Nandini's reluctance to accept her marriage and its responsibilities, but if Chandra himself felt otherwise, there was nothing she could do. As Nandini started taking her long walk back to her own room, she was confused whether she had done the right thing or not.

Nandini had got things her own way, but Chandragupt's words that he did not want anybody to keep an unwilling fast for him greatly impacted her. She was touched by his generosity and broad-minded approach. Whom should she ask for the right advice? She would ask her mother! Avantika was retiring for the night when Nandini came to her and asked if she could spend some time with her. She explained her issue to her mother.

Avantika, calmly, but firmly, said, "Nandini, you were out all alone outside the palace without Chandragupt beside you. What happened? That fate could befall all of us if you don't realize sooner. Though your father and brothers are no more, we are still safe and secure because Chandragupt is the king. If it was some other king, both of us wouldn't be having this conversation in such respectable terms and conditions.

I know that this marriage is a compromise, but a far better compromise than what other royal Rajvanshi women land up with in such circumstances as we are presently in. There's no use crying over spilt milk. You owe some duty and responsibility to all the women belonging to the Magadhan side. You asked me what you should do now. Well, do what you should, and not what you would! I hope you get my point! Socho, Nandini, socho!"

Nandini's nerves were wrung to the highest degree of tautness. She felt as if they would snap any moment. She had learnt too many disturbing truths in a single day and listened to too many lectures and exhortions of what expected of her. She was no longer in a mood to listen to more words on prim and proper behavioral patterns of a Rani. She just did not feel equal to anything.

Why couldn't she just get lost in an uninhabited island all alone with nobody to answer to and with no expectations from anybody regarding her? She needed some space and privacy now; the very things which seemed beyond her reach. She was for a moment dead tired and mentally exhausted with everything. Why did she have to be Nand Putri or Chandragupt ki Patni? Why did she continually have to keep on proving herself as something or the other? First, as a dutiful and loving daughter, then as a faithful wife, and then as somebody else? Why couldn't she just be herself? Why couldn't she be just Nandini?

Nandini rested herself in her mother's lap and said, "Agar ap yeh chahthi hai ki main Theej ka vrat rakoon toh main avashya rakoongi aap ke liye. Par ab main kuch soch nahin sakti! Main thak gayi hoon! Mujhe sirf aapki godh main sona hai is rath ke liye! Aapki kokh main sone ki anubhuthi pana chahthi hoon! Wahan phir jaakar is jeevan ki katinaayiyaan aur duvidhaayen seh mukt hona chahthi hoon! Patha nahin Maa, mujhe apna jeevan jeene ki udesh hi nahi milrahi hai! (If you want me to keep the Theej Vrat, I will do it for your sake. But now I cannot think anything more. I am tired. I just want to sleep in your lap today night. I want to experience as though I am sleeping in your womb. After going there again, I never want to come back to this difficult and conflicted world. I really don't know Maa, I am not finding any motive or reason for staying alive.)

Avantika stroked her daughter's unruly and untamed cockscrew curls with one hand, and gently soothed the creases on her troubled forehead. She continued gently patting Nandini's back at rhythmic intervals and singing a soft and soothing lullaby. Both mother and daughter spent the rest of their time together in silent but soulful communion.


Chapter Six: Strange Visions

Nandini asked her mother to narrate the story of Goddess Sati. Avantika began narrating this story from the ancient lore. Nandini closed her eyes trying to sleep. She lay still in her mother's lap and was trying to visualize this story in her mind's eye.

"Goddess Sati was the wife of Lord Shiva, the Destroyer and Transformer in the Hindu Trinity. She adored him and worshipped him to the core of her being. His appearance was rough, unkept and off putting. He had matted locks of hair and smeared Chitha Bhasma (ashes from burning dead bodies) on his skin. He wore the crescent moon on his hair and had a third eye which when opened reduced to ashes anyone in front of it.

He wore a snake round his neck, adorned himself with a garland of skulls, a deer skin as his loin cloth, and sat on a tiger skin. He danced his dance of destruction, the Tandav, at midnight in the cremation ground so fiercely that it could destroy the whole world. He was so ferocious that even the other Gods feared him. But Sati loved him because she saw beyond his tough exterior into the very core of his being.

He was a nirmoha yogi. He did not care about having a family or human attachments. He was untouched by the world and its ways. He was like a huge, lifeless and vast mountain, immovable and unshakable. If there was one person who could move even him, it was Sati. Her presence breathed life into him. She was the daughter of the powerful Daksh Prajapati.

They say two knives cannot remain in one sabre. Her father was a proud and egoistic man in himself. He thought the world about himself and his greatness, and had no qualms in demeaning those beneath him. It was alright till then but there came a day when he thought himself superior to even his Maker, Brahma, his Preserver, Vishnu, and the Destroyer of the Universe, Shiva.

Things were poised towards doom for Daksh. The only person who stood between him and his doom was his daughter, Sati. She married Shiva against his wishes. Her very birth was destined for this. He sought to change this destiny in his arrogance. He failed to understand what was there in an ascetic like Shiva to charm a delicate and beautiful girl like his daughter Sati. He failed to understand the logic behind this connection his daughter shared with Shiva.

Daksh committed a number of mistakes and errors. But every time he was forgiven because he happened to be Sati's father. A time came when he became so arrogant that he held a big religious sacrifice just to insult his son-in-law Shiva and daughter Sati who alone were excluded from his invitation. Shiva plainly ignored this aberration of Daksh. But Sati was terribly upset by this. She wanted to rectify this mistake of her father if she could. She did not know how. But she could not give up without trying. She decided to go to this religious ceremony without invitation.

A daughter did not need an invitation to visit her father. She would explain to him the folly of his ways. He was her father. She hoped that he would understand. It pained her to see both her husband and her father pitted against each other. Shiva was deep in meditation. She was very hesitant and guilty to even meet him and tell him before going. She hid her face and her guilty tears from Shiva.

Sati went to Daksh's place. There, she tried to make her father understand what he was doing. He refused to listen to sense. He insulted her and abused Shiva terribly. She couldn't bear to hear all this. She felt sorry that she had come to her father taking undue advantage of Shiva's blind faith and trust on her. How could she return back to him after this? She thought that putting an end to herself was the only solution. She offered herself to her Atma Agni and burnt herself in it...(Nandini nodded and yawned at this point)

Lord Shiva was devasted by this loss. He created Veerabhadra who killed Daksh to avenge Sati's death. Daksh was beheaded and his head was offered in the Agni Kund of the fire lit by Daksh for the Yagnya. Thus ended the story of Daksh who had wanted his own arragandizement at the cost of two soulful and divine lovers. In all this, the story of Shiva and Sati remained incomplete... (Nandini was slipping into sleep)

To complete this incomplete story, Sati took rebirth as Goddess Parvati. Mata Parvati performed penance for 108 years to gain Lord Shiva again as her husband. She is known as the Theej Mata. Married women celebrate the victory of her penance during the festival of Theej for conjugal felicity, matrimonial harmony, and the long life of their spouses...(By this time Nandini lost touch with her conscious brain)"

Nandini soon started sinking deep into that zone of oblivion that lies between the conscious and unconscious. For some reason her mind was still uneasy and kept on wandering and meandering in the subconscious which lies between the worlds of the conscious and unconscious.

In her dream and trancelike state, Nandini saw herself in Sati's place, her father, Padmanand in Daksh's place and Chandragupt in Shiva's place. Her father and husband were standing opposite to each other, and she in between them. Both of them were fighting for her and pulling her from either sides.

Finally she tore apart into two pieces one in Chandragupt's hand and the other in Padmanand's hand. Blood started oozing from each of them. Chandragupt looked shell shocked while her father started laughing at him and the lifeless pieces of her body with a derisive laughter. Both the pieces of her body started burning simultaneously leaving behind just ashes.

Chandragupt whose tears had dried up and whose eyes were burning with red hot hatred and fury, lifted his sword up and cut off Padmanand's head. Nandini got up with a jerk and was sweating profusely. What a terrible and lurid nightmare was that! Or was it some kind of premonition that she was having? It was impossible and hardly made any sense. Her father was dead and Chandragupt himself had killed him but not so terribly. She was married to Chandragupt too. She slapped herself thinking what kind of tricks one's mind plays when one is disturbed!

Where had that playful, vivacious, bratty, fun and prank loving princess that she used to be got lost? She had better get a grip over herself and her thoughts. True she had lost a lot in the past few days. But she had also gained a lot. Destiny had given her another opportunity of becoming a better person and getting rid of the curse of being called an evil tyrant's daughter to being called the spouse of a generous and benevolent ruler.

It was well past midnight. In a couple of hours, it would be early morning and she would have to prepare herself for the Theej. It wasn't worth trying to sleep now because she would never be able to wake up in time if she did so. Sleep somehow seemed to elude her. She was getting such terrible nightmares. It was better if she just took a nice walk in the cool night breeze in the garden.

When Nandini glanced around, she saw her mother fast asleep beside her. She did not think it advisable to wake her up. She got up, went to the wooden table where a jug of water was kept, and quenched her thirst and worries to her heart's content drinking some cool water. She started walking in the royal garden. She took a turn round its walking passages. She was about to take one more round when she observed her husband doing the same thing in a different corner of the same garden.

Nandini was a bit amused and also curious that both of them weren't asleep and doing the same thing at this present moment. He was staring at the moon which was shining brilliantly as it was just the night before the Purnima. She interrupted his reverie. He seemed a bit surprised to see her at that moment though he quickly hid it away from her by wearing a mask of nonchalance and disinterest.

Chandra asked her, "Aren't you asleep? It is too late for yesterday and too early for tomorrow. You ought to be in bed now!"

Nandini gave a slight smile, "Does this rule apply only for me or for Maharaj Chandragupt as well? I see someone else also awake just like me."

Chandra: When my mind is on some mission, I don't sleep!

Nandini: And what mission does Maharaj have now? Disturbing sleeping birds, I suppose! Pithaj has been deposed, and he and my brothers have been killed; Acharya's pratigya has been fulfilled; you've established yourself as the King of Magadh. What else is left to accomplish that you are depriving yourself of even sleep?

Chandra, without replying to this remark, went off at another tangent to mislead Nandini from her present train of thoughts, "I've been a king for a while from now. But still I find it strange when somebody addresses me as Maharaj Chandragupt. Royalty has still not grown upon me. I am not like you. Born and brought up as a Princess. I've lived the life of a commoner for twenty long years of my life. And when somebody addresses me as Maharaj and gives me all this deference, it appears so hollow to me."

Nandini: You are the Maharaj whether you like it or not. And you have to accept it. You will be addressed the rest of your reign or the rest of your life like this only by the others.

Chandra: I know! Acharya Chanakya too tells me the same thing, and so does Helena. Only all this does not sink in.

Nandini placed her hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comradeship and to convey that she too understood him. He let it remain for sometime where it was, before he kept it aside, and started walking ahead. For an instant Nandini could not understand what was happening. She knew almost next to nothing about her husband or his tendencies. She lunged ahead running after him, and by the time she caught up with him, she was panting for breath.

Nandini: Why did you rush ahead like that without telling me? Look I am panting. You're really strange!

Chandra: And why should I tell you by the way? I was on my own when you came and interrupted me. You spoke and then I replied. Then both of us were silent. You had nothing to say and I too had nothing. So, I thought we were done and I left!

Nandini shook her head in exasperation. This man always eluded her grasp. Here she was trying to know him and he wasn't interested in the least degree. She was his wife, wasn't she? So she had a right to know him. Wait! Wait! What was she thinking? That she was 'his wife'? Since when had she started seeing herself as 'his wife' and he as her husband? She kept quiet for an instant in mortification and confusion.

Nandini unconsciously and instinctively kept drawing her Duppatta around her even tightly than before. There was a cold and icy nip in the air. The winds were blowing as though before a monsoon thunderstorm. Chandra looked at her dress and saw that she was not suitably dressed for such a night outing like this. He was wearing two shawls while she was wearing none. So he took out one of the shawls he was wearing and wrapped it around her. Nandini's eyes instantly brimmed up showing her feeling of gratitude that he was so attuned to her and her needs. She hadn't even spoken about what she was feeling and still he understood it.

Chandra looking up at the sky said, "Let's go inside. It looks as though it is going to rain."
But Nandini lingered along looking all around her and enjoying the natural beauty around her. Nandini in a pleading tone, "Let's remain behind for some more time. It looks so beautiful and pleasant here. What's the use of life if we cannot enjoy its beauty?"

Chandra wanted to head inside the palace. But he stayed back against his better judgement for the sake of this headstrong and foolish girl who was also his wife now. At last his patience wearied off and he warned, "I'm going in! You remain behind if you want. I have better things to do than getting wet in the rain!"

Even before these words escaped his mouth, it started raining. Chandra gave Nandini an accusatory glance. But she was not at all observing him. She was catching the rain drops in her palms and splashing them on her face. She took off the shawl Chandra had wrapped around her and threw it to the skies. She was dancing in gay abandon and jumping over puddles of rain water. It was as if he wasn't even present there.

The water started dripping all over her, and her clothes started sticking tightly to her sides and looking highly translucent. Nandini was looking very very beautiful, enticing, and appealing in this bluish light of the night. Chandra stood rooted to the spot when he beheld Nandini like this. It was as if he had not at all seen her before this, or even if he had seen her, she had never looked as beautiful as this ever before. As he was staring at Nandini like this, he felt a primeval emotion run through him for a second. A desire to possess such as he had never before felt for any other woman.

Nandini remarked in the midst of her reverie, "Very beautiful, isn't it!"

Chandra in acquiescence, "Yes, very!"

Nandini continued, "The first rain of the season is always like that! What has one enjoyed in life if one has not been touched by the first rain of the monsoon! Life becomes meaningless if we do not experience the feelings and emotions we should at their right time and right place. The first rain, the first rainbow, the first sunrise after rain, the smell of fresh and wet earth wafting up our nostrils, the full moon,..."

Chandra agreed, "Yes!"

Nandini: Are you always like this? You either give me too many lectures or speak in monosyllables! Can't it be otherwise?

Chandra: The day you learn to speak less and act cleverly, I will speak more without giving you any lectures. I'm going in! You too come in soon after you are done enjoying the rain.

With that, Chandra turned his heel and abruptly left from the place. Nandini hadn't caught the proper import of Chandra's words immediately. She got it only a second after he had left. She hurriedly blurted out on realization, "Then do you mean I am foolish and speak too much...[Seeing that Chandra had already left, she slapped herself and contented herself giving this parting remark] Vichitra ho tum! Mere samaj se bilkul pare aur bhin! (You are strange! You are very different and beyond my imagination)

Chandragupt hastily returned to his room and locked himself within. He summarily dismissed the Daasis and guards who forever surrounded him clamoring for his attention from his room. What were these tumultuous feelings that were stirring within his bosom? He had never experienced anything like this before. He put out all the lights in his chamber and stood still for a moment.

He could make out the vague outlines of an intruder standing in his room. He rushed to him and lit a small lamp to make out who that person was. When he turned that person towards him, he was shocked to find him looking just like him, dressed in white. He asked, "Who are you? You look just like me. What are you doing here?

The shadow spoke, "I'm your alter ego. I go wherever you go. I always stay with you and can never leave you."

Chandra: Why have I never seen you before then?

Alter Ego: There was never a conflict before this between you and me.

Chandra: Which conflict?

Alter Ego: Don't you know?

Chandra: Oh, that...that was part of my game plan! I had to win Nandini's faith and trust for my own ends. So I was just spending some time with her.

Alter Ego: Then what has scared you away from this purpose so suddenly? You could have continued spending time with her. Why did you leave so abruptly?

Chandra: I felt bored!

Alter Ego: How you lie! You were enjoying yourself!

Chandra: How can I enjoy myself? I have a goal! I have to focus on it. Yes! ...That was the reason I left!

Alter Ego: Your goal figured nowhere in the admiring glances you were throwing at her. You were scared.

Chandra: Me, scared? You must be joking!

Alter Ego: You were scared of yourself. You were scared of your feelings.

Chandra: She is my enemy's daughter. How can I have feelings for her?

Alter Ego: She was! But now she no longer is! She is your wife!

Chandra: It was a compromise on both sides.

Alter Ego: Didn't you relive that childhood which you never had with her? Wasn't it great to feel as though life was a clean and empty slate to write whatever you wanted to, and create and make your own meanings out of it as if there was no yesterday and no tomorrow?

Chandra: Her father was responsible for everything that was wrong with my life and those around me. She took away everything that was rightfully mine. She is just my captive and I am her captor. That is the only relationship we probably could share.

Alter Ego: I am not here to talk about her father. I am here to talk about you and her. Do you really feel that she took away everything that was yours? No! You're just bluffing. Strange captor and captive both of you make with your personal boundaries blurred and erased at many points! Didn't those few moments seem as though every wrong thing became right?

Chandra: I have always been goal oriented and lived life without attachments. I have prized my brain over my heart. How can I get entangled with anybody so easily?

Alter Ego: All the more reason for you to get attached to someone. Only one who has never ever fallen will fall so badly because he does not have any experience at all to guide him how it should be done. When instincts and nature take over, all goals and brain tend to be forgotten.

Chandra: Be plain and frank. Tell me what you have?

Alter Ego: I will tell you the truth in blunt words though you might not like it! You've forgotten your goal! You've forgotten that this is a compromise. You've started liking it. You weren't spending just time with her. You were spending a part of yourself with her. You were investing yourself with her. And that has disturbed you!

Chandra shut his ears, closed his eyes and shouted, "Stop it! This will never happen. I will never lose myself in a relationship that has no future. She may be agreeable and friendly with me now. But she definitely will not be when she comes to know that her father and elder bother are still alive and I am using her just as a pawn to lure them into a trap, and then kill them. So get lost, will you?"

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Seven: Esteem and Acceptance

Moora was giving the Shrinjara which comprises of clothes, jewelry, bangles, etc to her daughters-in-law, "Durdhara here is yours. Helena this is yours. Since Nandini said she would not keep the fast, I am not giving..."

Even before she could complete her sentence, Nandini said, "Main Vrat rakrahi hoon, Maaji. Maine apna man badal liya hai!"(I am keeping the fast, Maaji. I have changed my mind)

Moora held out Nandini's Shrinjara to her while giving an approving look at this point, "Achchi baat hai! (Very good)This will send all the right signals to everyone around you about where your loyalties lie! Now you will have a chance of earning everyone's respect!"

Then she introduced three ladies to her daughters-in-law explaining to them, "These ladies belong to a family which is famed throughout Magadh and Piplivan for the excellent and exquisite mehendi designs they make. Since all three of you are Chandragupt's wives, I thought that you deserved the very best. (Turning to the three ladies, Moora said) Make such intricate designs that none of them will be able to find it."

Durdhara smiled shyly and coyly at this, Nandini was noncommittal, while Helena looked completely clueless. Helena was trying her best to learn the things, the language and customs, and adapt herself to the new lifestyle. But the encouragement from others was not very forthcoming. Moora missed no opportunity to put her down for any faux pas she made, while Durdhara who seemed a more promising subject, unluckily stood in such awe of her that she did not interact properly with her. As regards Nandini, she, Helena would never prefer cultivating that lost friendship ever again after its sorry demise, thanks to the efforts of one Malayketu.

All the three ladies started making the designs on the beautiful and delicate hands of the three Ranis. They were very adept in this trade and were done within a quarter of an hour. One of the ladies after completing said, "Patrani ji hogaya! Ab dhundlijiye!" (Chief Queen Consort ji, it's over. You can search now)

Helena looked at her hand and said, "Bahut khoobsurat! (Very beautiful) There are some flowers here, some leaves there, some straddling creepers here...Very good work!" Helena gestured her maid cum interpreter to give some reward to the lady for her hardwork

Moora gave a cutting and hopeless nod at this, "Kuch nahin hosakta iska! (One cannot make much of her) I will turn my remaining black hairs also grey teaching this one Indian traditions and customs!"

Helena understood by this time that she was missing something in this ritual. Durdhara explained to her, "Helena, our husband's name has been written on our palms along with the rest of the mehendi design. We are supposed to find it out."

Helena became very excited by this time. She was loving this whole ritual, "Kis bhasha main likha hai? Persian, Greece ..."(In what language is it written?)

The lady wore a sheepish look and said, "Mujhe maaf kijiye Patrani ji! Mujhe aathi nahin hai Persian aur Yavani Bhasha! Hindustani Bhasha main likha hai!"(Please forgive me Patrani ji. I don't know to write in Persian or Greek language. It is written in the Hindustani tongue)

Helena summoned her interpreter and asked her how Chandragupt's name is written in Hindustani Bhasha. The interpreter took a plate full of Haldi and wrote it down on it. Helena, her mind full of enthusiasm and childish curiosity began looking at the shape of the letters and her hands. Finally she was able to piece out Chandragupt's name in her palms. This discovery filled her face with such exquisite joy that she asked her maid to give the necklace she was wearing to the lady who had done the mehendi design.

Durdhara also discovered Chandragupt's name on her palms. Now it was Nandini's turn. She was looking at her palms with all the faculties and attention at her disposal but was unable to make out where the 'Gupt' of Chandragupt's name was hidden in her palms. She was carefully looking, "Here is 'Ch'...and here we have 'an'...and there we have 'dra'...'Gupt' kahan hai!"

Moora by now was at her wit's end, "Such unique and sample pieces I have for my Bahus! Find it at your leisure Nandini. All of you will have to keep the mehendi for three to four hours at least for it to ripen. It is believed the husband of a woman loves her as much as the ripeness of her mehendi. So all of you will be careful with your mehendi. Later on, all three of you will get ready for going to the Gowri Mandir with Chandra. I will ask him to keep himself free for that. All three of you are newly married and need the blessings of the Goddess for a fruitful and successful marriage."

Nandini was in her room. She had spent nearly three hours looking at her palms and trying to figure out where 'Gupt' was but in vain. She was so preoccupied that she did not notice that her maids had left to comply with the Rajmata's orders to help in the kitchen in making 'Ghevar' (A traditional sweet made during the festival of Theej) in large scale quantities as a preparatory for the evening uthsav. Similarly, she hadn't noticed or observed the announcement of Chandragupt's arrival in her chamber in her preoccupation.

She said, "Jaldhi seh yahan aao aur dekho mere hath!" (Come soon and look at my hands)

Chandragupt for a moment was stunned and did not understand what the benighted girl wanted him to do. But if she was telling something, he perhaps had to give it a try. It was something important maybe! Maybe she had some strange weapon or poison in her hands which she wanted to show him.

He hesitantly took her hands in his and observed. The tingling sensation and touch told her that it wasn't her maid. Nandini was for a moment shocked that she had been talking to him all this while but felt that it would be too rude to jerk her hand out of his solid grasp. So she let it remain where it was. The feeling of her hands in his wasn't so unpleasant to her either. It was warm, comfortable and soothing.

He quizzically asked her, "Yeh visheela hai kya? Aur usme kya doondhrahi ho?" (Is it poisonous? What are you searching in it?)

She burst out into peels of laughter at this. Chandra was for a moment lost in her blissful laughter. Her vivacious and infectious laughter seemed to rub on to him for an instant. In between her laughs, she explained, "Vish nahin hai! Main kya Vish ki Dukkan hoon ki hamesha Vish lekar ghoomungi?" (There is no poison. Am I a poison shop that I will always roam around taking poison with me?)

Chandra a bit confused, "How will I know? You poisoned that Haldi. So I thought, maybe you poisoned this mehendi as well, you know!"

Nandini now cutely pouting her lips said, "Yes! But that was a while ago. A lot happened after that. Why do you think I am still the same?"

Chandra still a bit cautiously, "If you say so, I will believe you! By the way, what were you looking in this Mehendi for?"

Nandini looked a bit exasperated at this remark but let it go as she held the mehendi before him again and said, "Your name. It is etched somewhere in my palms. I figured out till 'Chandra'. I am not getting where 'Gupt' is."

By now, even Chandra was warming up to this task. He was carefully looking at her delicate and beautiful palms, their silky and velvety smoothness as they seemed to merge into his own. The lines on her palms interspersed with beautiful floral and leafy patterns, entangled and knotted vines, the whitish pink hues of her hand contrasted with the dark greenish caked up and occasionally wet patches of mehendi.

He moved closer and was looking very carefully at the designs when she too moved a bit closer. The mild and slightly intoxicating scent she wore wafted up his nostrils until it reached his head which felt slightly bewitched and at the same time wary of all this proximity. He suddenly got up and hastily said, "'Gupt' yahan hai! Get ready soon. All of us have to go to the Mandir in a short while from now."

Nandini rose up and nodded her head. A strand of her cockscrew curls suddenly became unentangled from her hair. She tried to push it back shaking her head and with her mehendi laden hands but in vain. She gave Chandra a pleading gesture as though asking him to do it for her. He unwillingly turned, summoning all the self control at his disposal, and pushed the naughty curl and carefully tucked it behind her ear. He was about to leave when she gestured towards her nose and he irritatedly said, "Ab kya?" (What now?)

She pointed towards her nose. Chandra asked, "Naak khatna hai? Maaf karo. Main streeyon ke naak nahin khattha! Kisi aur ko bhejdetha hoon!" (Should I cut your nose? Please forgive me. I don't cut the noses of ladies. I will send someone else.)

Nandini said, "Hamesha naak khatna, sir khatna; kuch aur bhi hosakta hai na? My nose is itching. Since nobody else is available...so will Maharaj please...scratch my nose...(Always cutting the nose, cutting the head; it could be something else as well)

Chandragupt started laughing in a full throated, manly manner at the apparent ridiculousness and novelty of the whole situation. Nandini too started laughing. They continued like this for some time before Chandra excused himself from there asking Nandini to get ready for the Mandir.

At the Gowri Mandir,

After some time, Chandra and his three queens had arrived at the Gowri Mandir to offer their obeisance to the goddess and seek her blessings. Being the day of Theej, the temple was heavily crowded. The soldiers hastily pushed everyone aside in their alacrity and to ensure security, asking the people to make way for their Maharaj and his queens.

Chandragupt on observing what they were doing, stopped them and said, "Everyone is equal before Mata Gowri. I and my queens will wait for our turn for our Darshan and Puja. Nobody will be pushed or jostled aside for our sake. Since it is your duty to ensure providing security to us, you can do so wherever we are standing without causing inconvenience to the rest of the devotees."

Helena stared on in perfect disbelief. She had been looking forward to showing off her Patrani status and expecting special Royal treatment at the temple. She followed Chandra, joining him in the line, and muttering beneath her breath to express her dissatisfaction while putting on a fake smiling face so that she would not lose her impression with Chandra.

Durdhara, being his childhood friend, openly expressed her feelings of dissent. She whispered with a hiss in Chandra's ear, "Ab Rani hokar kya laabh! Koi aur din hota toh seh lethi. Aaj mera upvaas hai... aur yahaan ithni beedh main kadi rehna...baap re baap! Mujhse nahin hota!" (What's the use of being a queen? If it was some other day, I would have endured it. Today is my fast, and to stand in this crowd, whew! I cannot do it!)

Chandra turned to her and said, "Durdhara, I was not always the Samrat of Magadh. I used to be a poor shepherd's son my entire childhood. Would you have been the same if I had continued poor? Be reasonable. All the ladies around you must have been fasting. Not just you!"

Durdhara, by this time becoming peevish, said, "Yes! But I was always the daughter of one of the richest Seths. I was always used to certain comforts and privileges. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have married you if you would have continued to remain poor always with no hope of becoming rich or luxurious. We are friends and I cannot pretend to be what I am not with you. I hate standing in a long queue for my turn and that's it!

Nandini's eyes were glowing with pride at Chandra's declaration. She just could not help blushing or showing her happiness in the glow that illuminated her whole face and persona. All his tall claims about being like a father and well wisher to his Praja were not empty words after all. He truly meant everything he spoke. Only a Raja who saw himself as one among the Praja and not above them would be remembered by the coming generations and history.

She was truly blessed that she had such an opportunity to be beside and support such a magnificent and charismatic personality as his Rani. She had remembered her previous visits to various temples with her father and brothers. She had seen only cowering and downcast eyes. Here she saw eyes that loved, that adored, that hero worshipped and looked high up to the skies in esteem of her husband. This would forever remain a very beautiful memory in her mind.

Chandra a bit downcast at this kind of reaction from two of his wives, turned towards Nandini and said, "Tumhe bhi kuch apaththi hai toh bathado! Waise bhi tum Magadh ki Rajkumari thi shaadi seh pehle. Tumhe iska anubhav bhi nahin hoga!" (Tell me if you also have a problem! Anyhow you were the Princess of Magadh before your marriage. You wouldn't have experienced something like this before)

"Anubhav toh nahin hain mere paas, par apne aap ko is sanche main dalne ki avashya prayathna karungi!" (I don't have any experience of this, but I can surely try to put myself into this mold) said Nandini.
Chandra was a bit shocked to first hear this out of her mouth. He reiterated, "Kya?" (What?) in order to reconfirm if he had heard her properly.

Nandini said, "Maine kaha 'Haan'. Mujhe prasannatha hai Maharaj ke nirnay aur wyavahar seh!" (I said 'yes'. I am happy with Maharaj's decision and behavior)

Chandragupt's face beamed in pleasure that at least one of his wives had been able to understand where he was coming from and was thinking from the same wave length like him. He never saw this coming from Nandini. His esteem of Nandini rose up several notches higher with her words. She wasn't what he had always seen her to be. There was more to her and her character than the bratty, spoilt, pampered and vengeful princess he had seen in her.

Chapter Eight: A Premeditated Attack

Chandra and his three queens had finished their Darshan and performed the Arti of Mata Gowri. They were all about to leave when a lady among the people tried to approach near Chandragupt. She was promptly stopped by the soldiers. The lady lamented, "I mean no harm. I just want to meet Maharaj and put forward my issue. I have sought permission to meet Maharaj in the court but I have been refused citing security concerns. I just cannot let go this opportunity when Maharaj himself is personally here. Please allow me to speak."

Chandragupt ordered his men, "Leave the lady and let her speak!"

The lady spoke, "Maharaj, my husband was a great patriot. He fought the war with Padmanand on your side voluntarily as a soldier. But unfortunately he became wounded and maimed in this battle and was deemed unfit for active military service. Earlier, he used to be a blacksmith. That was the family profession of my husband. But due to his health condition, he is unfit for that job. So he has no job or source of income at the present moment. Our entire family comprising of five members including my two small children, my husband, and his aged mother, and I are literally starving. Maharaj, I request you to please give a solution to our problem."

Nandini who was listening to all this intervened telling, "Maharaj please forgive me for interrupting you and interfering in this matter. This issue and several related ones have been running in my mind for some time from now. I would like to discuss them with you and the council of ministers in the court. I would be very glad if the lady here also takes part in that discussion. Is it possible? I know you could immediately solve this lady's problem by giving her some wealth. But the root cause of this problem will not be eliminated."

Chandragupt declared, "This issue will be immediately discussed in the court. Arrange for an urgent meeting of the Mantri Mandal! Rani Nandini will also be given an opportunity to put forward her views on the same. (He turned to the lady and sympathetically said) I understand the difficulties you and your family have been going through. An attempt will be made to resolve them as quickly as possible. Meet us in the court."

At the court,

The issue was placed before the Mantri Mandal by the lady and Rani Nandini was asked to make the additional points and observations she wanted to make before the decision would be taken. Nandini offered her Pranams to the Maharaj of Magadh, Raja Chandragupt and all the great and educated intellectuals and Mantri Gan in the Raj Sabha, including Pradham Amatya Acharya Chanakya. She said,
"All of us in the Raj Sabha are well aware that any war results in a lot of collateral damage in its aftermath. The death toll is high and so are the wounded on both the warring sides. The hardest hit are the women, the children, the aged and the maimed. The main earning member of the family is dead and they often left behind without any financial support.

It is even worse in the case of maimed or wounded soldiers. They are considered unfit for military service and terminated from it. They have to battle several health issues, and their expenses are even higher than when they were healthy, as they are jobless and lack any financial support to boot.

I have generally understood from what I have heard that in case the dead or wounded soldier has a son or male family member who is old enough to take his position in the army, that job is given to them. Isn't it Acharya ji?"

Acharya Chanakya agreed, "Yes, Rani Nandini. That is the standard procedure."

Nandini continued, "Acharya ji what about the cases where no male family member of the soldier who is dead or maimed is old enough or fit enough to take up a military position? Are the soldiers or their family given some pension or compensation?"

Chanakya slowly replied after a long pause, "No!"

Nandini spoke, "Do the esteemed members of this Raj Sabha think that just because a soldier is wounded or maimed, he becomes unfit for any and every job? They could be employed in the spy network or in government jobs which do require hard labor or extreme levels of physical fitness.

Regarding the women, isn't it possible to train the ladies who wish to follow their dead husband's footsteps to join the army? A female contingent of army could be developed. This could be very useful in times of war in protecting the capital and other regions when Maharaj and his army might have to suddenly leave.

The Praja would not be so completely unprotected in the absence of the regular forces and law enforcement agencies. Administration would proceed as smoothly as before even in times of war and strife. We would have a trained contingent ready to meet any eventualities if the enemy thinks of attacking the capital in Maharaj's absence. The enemy would receive a strong and resounding answer.

If these ladies do not want to join active military service, a rehabilitation center for them, children and the aged people could be established. Side by side, all these people could be empowered by giving them some vocational training and an alternate source of income to make up for their financial loss due to the loss of the male earning member of the family.

These are a few points and suggestions I had to make. There may be a number of practical difficulties in implementing them. Whether these ideas will be implemented or not, if so, to what degree, I completely leave them to the discretion of Maharaj Chandragupt and his able and astute ministers of the Mantri Mandal. I would like to thank Maharaj for giving me this opportunity of putting forwards my views and opinions."

Chandragupt carefully listened to all the suggestions of Nandini and said, "Rani Nandini made several valuable points. I would like to appreciate her for paying such deep thought to these matters. (Turning to the lady who had originally raised this issue he said) But before that, I am greatly thankful to you for bringing this matter to my notice.

I would want the Mantri Mandal to draw up a detailed budget plan for giving a pension to the family members of our dead soldiers. Do we have the necessary funds for it in our treasury? If not, are there any alternate sources of money generation for this purpose? The lady who has raised this issue be immediately helped with necessary funds to help her and her family.

Similarly, no wounded or maimed soldier will be terminated from service. Their health expenses will be borne by us and they will be employed in other ways in the government service.

I feel that this will boost the morale of our soldiers who will no longer be worried about their future or about the families and will give their very best in every war. So dear lady, please ask your husband to rejoin government service immediately. He will be given a comparatively light job involving very limited physical labor.

Work on the rehabilitation center and imparting vocational training to the family members of the dead soldiers will be immediately started. Regarding the female army contingent, I would like to discuss in private with Acharya Chanakya and my Mantri Mandal on its feasibility before I give my decision. The court is dismissed!"

Helena who was watching this from the sidelines of her curtained and secluded section gave a grimace. This Nandini was losing no chance to curry her favor with Chandra. She was gaining popularity with the Praja also by taking interest in general welfare schemes. She had to buck up her act if she was to beat Nandini in the act. Nandini had bewitched that Malayketu away from her just like this.

Chandragupt before leaving the court hall, stepped near Nandini and whispered in a voice audible only to her, "Saath denekeliye dhanyavaad, yahan aur Mandir main bhi! You have been looking very different since some time. I am unable to guess what it must be. You must have started using some new beauty product. It is making a real difference to your appearance."

Nandini blushed a deep red at this personal compliment she received from Chandragupt. She was using the same beauty products she had always been using. Over the past few days she had even been negligent in grooming or beautifying herself. But the fact that he had noticed her and appreciated her beauty was actually a tribute not to her external person but her inner self. It pointed towards the fact that he had perceived the paradigmatic shift in her attitude and was affected by it.

Throughout her childhood she had seen all the important men around her, her father and brothers giving importance only to external appearance. She had seen her mother being passed over, neglected and replaced by newer, younger and even more beautiful women every year. These women themselves were discarded once the glow of their external beauty and youth were past with yet other women. The same thing happened with her sisters-in-law too.

All of them remained just show pieces for public display and nothing more in the lives of the men with whom their destiny was tied up. By the time she grew up, she had begun believing that perhaps this was the common lot of all married women. It gave her a distaste to think that women were solely objects that men could use and throw. That to some extent explained her insecurities and unwillingness to get married. At least here, she was the daughter of the house and would always be pampered and prized over everyone.

But for her husband, she would just be a toy he would use and discard. That is why she had always clamored for love in her marriage and vehemently wanted to marry the person whom she loved and who would love her in return. Unfortunately, she had been unable to stick to her original stance by circumstances. Malayketu who came into her life did nothing to change her opinion. If anything, it firmly entrenched her opinion that men always cared for skin deep beauty and not what you actually were within. Chandra was somehow very different from all of them.

Nandini was walking back to her chambers humming a soft melody within herself. She felt like singing, dancing, celebrating all at the same time. Life was not so bad after all. The happiness of her dancing spirits gave a peculiar glow to her whole aspect. On her way, she was accosted by Helena who said, "Don't be too happy! I know how to win back Chandra from you. I challenge you!"

Nandini felt sorry for her thinking, "Helena you are still talking about winning and losing, profit and loss? This is a relationship and you are still dealing with it like a political game you play in an open arena. You are talking about challenges and fights. Why do you see your happiness as so dependent on somebody else? If it had been somebody else who was not so sophisticated and learned as you, I would perhaps have understood their attitude and insecurities. It is really a pity you give yourself so less importance!"

Helena questioned, "Then does this mean you are going to give up Chandra to me and will not compete with me?"

Nandini said, "When did I ever tell you that? This relationship is as much mine as yours or Durdhara's. We can all peacefully coexist. Just as you and Durdhara have your own space in Chandra's life, I have my own space in his life. And I will not give up my space in his life at any cost. What is mine is mine! I will not tolerate it being snatched away from me. But I will never try to snatch what is yours from you. We are essentially doing a disservice to ourselves and our fellow women if we try to supplant them. One day we would also remain in danger of being supplanted by somebody else."

Helena was left fuming as Nandini sashayed away from there with her head held up high. When she reached her chamber, Nandini started pondering why she had reacted like that to Helena's demands to give up Chandra. It should essentially not have mattered to her what happened to the future of this relationship. She always kept consoling herself telling that this was just a compromise. What had so drastically changed to realign that equation? She just knew that it was so. The reason for it still eluded the grasp of her understanding.

Nandini was carefully dressing herself in the Shrinjara she was given by Moora. She double checked everything about her appearance right from her Maang tikka to her Bindi. As was her usual custom, she completed her dressing by holding her hair in place with a golden knife studded with gems before she covered her head with a Duppatta. This was something she had been doing ever since she was eleven years old. She had continued this practice even after her marriage.

After this was done, Nandini looked at her mehendi laden hands. They had beautifully ripened to a deep, and dark red. She softly fondled the letters representing 'Chandragupt' that were etched in her palms for a moment, before she filled her Maang with sindoor. She was wearing a red saree with gold and silver brocade work. It accentuated her whitish pink skin hue.

Her whole appearance was glowing and luminous with a brilliant light shining in both her eyes which were hopeful, playful, expectant, curious and piquant at the same time. Just as Nandini was coming down the stairs, she saw Chandragupt personally overseeing the security arrangements from time to time. For a moment, he was spell bound by Nandini's beauty. But not wanting her to notice it, he instantly turned aside.

Nandini was disheartened and disappointed by this kind of response to her efforts to look her best. This evening she had really spent a lot of time in her personal grooming and make up just because she wanted Chandra to notice it. She had wanted a repetition of the personal compliment she had received the afternoon of the very same day this evening too.

But luck and Chandra did not seem to favor her. He seemed so preoccupied that he did not even take the time to notice her appearance. He scarcely nodded in return to her greeting to him as she was passing by. How foolish of her! She felt so angry with herself for expecting too much. If he was not going to notice, she would also not degrade herself by showing it outside that she had started expecting his attentions.

Nandini did not know what to make out of his blow hot and blow cold attitude. Was he really interested in her or were her female instincts simply misleading her? She did not know what to make out of the enigma that Chandragupt was. She had always been herself and pretty frank and open in her anger, her revenge, her confusion, her divided loyalties, her guilt, her friendship, her empathy, her esteem, or her acceptance of him.

But she could hardly make out what Chandragupt really was behind the mask he perpetually wore. Was she reading too much or too little into his behavior? Moreover, she saw no earthly reason from his side for wearing this mask to her. Of what use could a girl like her who had lost her everything be to him except as a charitable compromise?

For some reason, Nandini was feeling terribly uneasy and disoriented that evening. She had been fasting throughout the day without even water. Her throat was feeling parched. Her intuition told her that something unpleasant was going to happen. It was the first time after the war that the doors of the palace were being thrown open to the general public. The Praja had started pouring into the palace in huge numbers. However, the soldiers were carefully and thoroughly checking everyone who was being admitted inside.

Nandini's fears to some extent were silenced. She was proceeding in a hurry to the open space in the Royal garden where the open air Utsav and later rituals were going to be conducted. She bumped into a lame person who was hopping on one leg and carrying a crutch along with him.

The soldiers were following the regular security protocol even with him, shuffling and examining him thoroughly when Helena, who seeing that Nandini was also beside when this was taking place, and was not protesting against this in the least degree, saw this as the right opportunity of winning the popularity of the general public.

She overruled the soldiers telling, "The poor man is a cripple. What kind of harm do you anticipate from him? Just let him go. Don't you have any consideration even for his physical condition?" All the surrounding people looked greatly impressed by this studied kindness of Helena and gave approving nods and impressed smiles. Helena passed by Nandini having a smug look on her face at having scored several brownie points in her own favor in her Praja's psyche.

The Utsav passed without much event. The moon was shining brightly in the sky by now. Now it was the turn of all the wives to perform Arti and Puja of Chandragupt, one by one, look at his face through a sieve and then at the moon and break their fast with water and sweets from Chandra's own hand. Helena did it first, followed by Durdhara.

Nandini's turn came third. She did her Puja and Arti and looked at Chandra through the sieve and then at the moon. In all this something seemed to be amiss. She was just not able to figure out what it was. The lame person she had bumped against was standing in the front in the first line among the Praja.

It was only when Chandra had lifted the golden tumbler of water from her thali to break her fast that Nandini was able to recognize what had been troubling her all along. The lame man was no longer lame. He was standing on both of his feet. He had, carefully and unnoticed by anyone, taken out a couple of poisonous darts to attack Chandra. Her heart was racing ahead and pounding like anything. She knew what she had to do.

Nandini instinctively pulled Chandra down while personally ducking herself as she took out her knife from beneath her secured bun of hair and dispatched it lightning quick towards the intruder who was planning to assassinate Chandra. The knife hit the man right in the middle of his brow and he was spot dead. A chaos instantly ensued and all the people started running helter-skelter.

Moora stared on in stunned disbelief at how all her grand plans had ended so badly. But being a lady of iron and steel, her face remained blank and steely in its resolve. At the other end, the color started escaping Helena's face as she blanched in guilt that somewhere her mistake in allowing the crippled "behrupia" had resulted in such a major fallout. She was quivering within herself at what Chandra's reaction would be when it would come to his knowledge that she had asked the security protocol to be relaxed for him. Durdhara appeared truly terrified by this turn of events and clung to Chaaya's dress and hid behind her. She was muttering the Hanuman Chalisa within her breath.

Chandragupt quickly recovered his poise and was able to judge what must have exactly happened. He immediately began giving orders to all his men, "Evacuate the general Praja from here safely. Make a safety ring and escort all the ladies of the royal family from here safely and keep all of them securely guarded. Give orders to all the rest of the soldiers in the Royal palace to gather here in the garden."

Nandini was a bit reluctant to leave Chandra and go from there. Her fast was not broken and danger was looming all around them. She kept looking back, lagging behind and her eyes lingering on him. She softly murmured, "Mera Vrat pura nahin hua..."(My fast is not over)

He hurriedly pushed her aside and thundered, "Nandini are you mad or what? Pran chale jathe, aur tumhe vrat ki padi hai? Mere sir par math baito! Mujhe yahan ki stithi samaalnedo! (We might have been dead, and you are still bothered about your vrat? Don't sit over my head! Let me take charge of this situation!) Go from here! Now!" The water tumbler, sweets, and her Puja ingredients like sindoor, haldi and turmeric stained rice scattered and fell to the ground.

She was scarcely able to hide or control the tears that were swimming in her eyes. He knew that he was being too rude to her when he ought to have been thankful to her. But the situation was very dangerous. They seemed to have been infiltrated from within. There was also the threat of a full fledged attack. This matter needed to be handled urgently. This was no time for chivalry and proprieties.

Once all the soldiers were assembled in the lawn, Chandragupt ordered, "All of you will hold the sword in your right hand and raise it up to the skies. Each person will look towards his left side now. Have all of you seen?" The men shouted in unison, "Yes, Maharaj!" Chandragupt asked, " Now do you know what you should do?" They shouted, "Yes!"

And before the next couple of seconds, in several places the men drove their sword deep into the chest of the person standing next to them. Chandragupt stood unmoved throughout this entire sequence of events. And when it was over, he coolly asked, "How many in number are they?"

A captain in his army sprang into action and gave him the approximate figures. "They must have numbered to around five hundred in number. Such a number could not have infiltrated through the security cordon. They must have intruded from some secret entrance of which we seem to have been unaware of.

But there definitely seems to have been a security lapse in the fake lame man managing to come so close to assassinating Maharaj! We will try to get it investigated at the earliest and inform Maharaj how it happened. I would like to thank Maharaj for coming up with the idea of getting all our men tattooed with a special identifying mark on their right hand. That is how we were able to foil this premeditated attack."

Chanakya reiterated, "Is the back of this attack broken or are there any more left? Have you discovered the secret passage through which this infiltration happened and destroyed it? It will always be like a sword hanging over our head."

The military General spoke at this point, "We haven't yet discovered that passage but I will put my men on the job. Similarly I am still not sure if this is the total number of men who have infiltrated. We will carefully sweep every nook and corner of the palace before tomorrow morning. But it is better to be careful for the present night.

This attack seems to have been very well planned and coordinated. They somehow managed to sneak in one of their men past the security cordon with the intention of assassinating Maharaj. Our soldiers also were a bit lax looking at the fact that the behrupia seems to have disguised himself as a cripple. That man would have tried assassinating Maharaj. And in the ensuing confusion and chaos, these other infiltrators would have killed all our men and soldiers in quick succession and succeeded in taking control of the entire royal palace."

At another dark corner of the Patliputra palace, three hooded figures where discussing in hushed tones, "Our plans have failed miserably. The entire force with which we came here has been decimated. We have to make good our escape from here before our secret passage is discovered and we lose our opportunity of escaping from here. We have to rebuild and regroup our forces. We will attack again at some other opportune moment."

The other hooded figure questioned, "Amatya, our plan was so foolproof. How did we fail?"

The first hooded figure spoke after a pause, "Kumar, I know that this will pain you. But Rajkumari Nandini seems to have come to some sort of understanding and acceptance of Chandragupt. Otherwise why would she keep a Vrat for him or why would she kill our man whom we intruded after such difficulty? It all began there!"

The third figure spoke now, "I can't believe that my Nandini did this or can do something like this. There is something wrong that is happening; and I have to find out the reason why it is happening. Amatya, you and Kumar Dhananand make good your escape from here. I will stay behind here to find out a few things. If something wrong happens to me, you will crown Rajkumar Dhananand as the king and fight on his behalf."

With those few words the three men parted ways with two of them heading towards the secret passage and the third sneaking back into the royal palace.

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Nine: Ek Maa, Beti, Pathi, aur Thodi Imarti

All the ladies of the Royal family sat in a huddled and hushed silence in a big hall surrounded by soldiers who were ready to spring into action at the slightest hint of threat. The sweeping and combing operations of the Patliputra Palace were still in progress. The hours ticked by.

Acharya Chanakya came to inform the Rajmata that all the chambers of the ladies had been checked and all of them could retire for the night. She enquired about Chandra and he said, "Maharaj is alright. But he personally overseeing and tightening all the security arrangements of the palace."
Rajmata gave a relieved nod. But there were a number of questions running in her mind. She expressed them, "Ab kaunsa shatru sheesh hai, Acharya? Ap sab kuch janthe hai. Kuch mukhya chupa rahen hai kya mujhse, aap aur Chandra?" (Which enemy is left, Acharya? You know everything. Are you and Chandra hiding something important from me?)

Chanakya: Jhoot main nahin bolunga aur sach main abhi nahin bata sakta Maharaj ke sweekruthi ke bina. Skshamaa keejiye, Rajmata! (I will not tell a lie and I cannot tell the truth without the approval of Maharaj. Forgive me, Rajmata!)

All the ladies were instructed by the Rajmata to return straight to their rooms. Nandini was walking in the corridor brooding over her incomplete Vrat. Her mother, Avantika guessing her train of thoughts said, "Apne kaksh main Maharaj ke Chitra dekhkar apna Vrat kol lena! Aaj Maharaj ka aana khatin lagtha hai. Kadachit voh tere kaksh main aaye hi na." (Break your Vrat in your chamber looking at Maharaj's picture. It may be difficult for Maharaj to make it today. Perhaps, he might not even come.)

Nandini: How can I do it, Maa?

Avantika: You have to get attuned to it. Several such occasions come in the lives of Rajvanshi ladies.

Nandini: Maa, did it ever happen with you?

Avantika: It used to happen all the time. You father never turned up on time. Several times he never came.

Nandini: Of course, he too must have been busy with several pressing duties of the State just like my husband today!

Avantika: Duties of the State, my foot! He was too drunk or too engrossed with other beautiful ladies to perhaps notice. I kept a fast the first year of my marriage. From the second year onwards I pretended to keep. Your Badi Maa, Sunanda was the one who instructed me to do so. And I think that was one of the best advice she ever gave me. Never ever compare Maharaj Chandragupt with your father! There is actually no comparison.

Nandini kept pensively silent. How many times would her mother and the others have to keep reminding her about the true character of her father! Her fond and childhood memories of him kept coming back to her again and again. How would she ever get rid of them? How could such a wonderful father be such a horrid and savage man in all other respects? Why could she never bring her eyes to see the truth despite it being all before her face?

Avantika: I never told you this before because you never seemed willing to listen. But now I cannot let it be any longer because I am afraid your excessive love for your father is affecting your married life.

Nandini: Maa, I know all that! Pithaji was a very cruel and tyrannical King. He was least bothered about the welfare of his Praja and imposed highly oppressive taxes. He had a weakness for women. My own mother-in-law was also a victim of his evil intentions. He was also responsible for the death of Maharaj Suryagupt, my husband's father.

Avantika: Nandini, I still see that you know only half truths. Perhaps Chandragupt and Moora never had the heart to tell you everything. They must have felt that this was enough for you to know. But there are still a lot of illusions about your father that I have to break.

Nandini: What illusions, Maa?

Avantika: Do you know that your father was originally a Naapit?

Nandini: Yes, on that day when I was walking to the Shiv Mandir, the people in the village of Mansapur were whispering something like that. I did not exactly understand at that point what it meant. But even if he was one, what is wrong in that? Why can't a person of humble origins rise above his station? My husband too was brought up by shepherds. Till his real identity as Maharaj Suryagupt's son was not revealed, he too must have been considered as a person of humble origin. But you cannot begrudge a person's claim to greatness because of their humble origins. Even if my husband did not belong to royalty, I would have respected him just as much.

Avantika(shook her head while laughing a wild laugh): How long will you keep equating and placing Chandragupt and your father on the same pedestal, Nandini? Your father won Magadh by deceit, while Chandragupt honorably won it in a war. Your father used to be the Naapit of the erstwhile Maharaj of Magadh and my first husband, Maharaj Shishunaag. He wantonly killed his own king when the latter entrusted himself in his hands for shaving his beard. Then he put the entire blame for this on Maharaj Shishunaag's friend, Maharaj Suryagupt.

Nandini: This cannot be true, Maa! Pithaji cannot be so bad!

Avantika: A man who treated his Praja so horribly, why can't he do this as well? I will tell you more! I wanted vengeance for Maharaj Shishunaag's death. So I announced that I would marry the person who would punish the assassin of Maharaj Shishunaag. You know what your father did; he brought the beheaded head of Maharaj Suryagupt too whom he killed by deceit. I married him.

I came to know the truth of the entire matter only later on. But by that time it was too late. (While Avantika was narrating these things, she looked about a bit guiltily here and there) You were born and your father threatened to kill me if I did not keep my mouth shut. I couldn't bring myself to be brave. I became cowardly. I couldn't leave my daughter in such hands and brave death trying to do what was right. And above all your father wasn't cruel or bad to you! That ensured my silence!

Nandini broke down crying: Pithaji was such a horrible man? I still cannot bring myself to believe all this. How can any man be so cruel?

Avantika: Your father was cruel and lustful too. Hearing all accounts, you would have imagined that he sought to marry your mother-in-law Moora after Maharaj Suryagupt's death when she was a prisoner of war just like Chandragupt married you. If you're thinking so, then you are mistaken. Your father had an evil eye on Moora who used to be my friend even when Maharaj Suryagupt was alive. She was pregnant at that time.

What can you say about the character of somebody who could look at a pregnant married lady with such lustful eyes? When she would not agree to it, he chained her to a post in the open like a dog for years together. He got her whipped and stoned in the town square of Patliputra. Moora will second my version if you seek confirmation. You ought to be thankful that neither Moora nor Chandragupt don't take out their resentment for your father against you which shows what good human beings they are.

Nandini: All this sounds too terrible even for belief! How could such a man be so kind and considerate towards me? Why did I never see this side of him?

Avantika, who had decided that this was going to be the day when she was going to spit and exhaust all the accumulated venom of those long years of hateful marriage, continued as though one possessed, "Because he was your father, Nandini; that's why! The claims of blood were too strong even for a veritable monster like him. He loved you beyond everything in this world. You never saw this side of your father because he took great care to hide it and camouflage it from you. You will have to believe me Nandini! I never showed you these. (She lifted and pushed the hem of her white colorless saree and showed it to Nandini. There were marks left behind by whiplashes and burns at several private places)

This was the reality of my marriage. These scars have not left me. They will remain with me throughout my life. Your father gave them to me. You cried and mourned the loss of your father, Nandini. But I never did! As a matter of fact, I was happy. I rejoiced to be freed of such a monster whom I could neither escape nor get rid of.

You would have felt sad for the loss of colors in my life when you used to see me in this white saree. But I was glad to be bereft of these colors which brought nothing but sorrow and torture in my life. This white saree gives me more peace and comfort than the brilliant colors of my married sarees ever did.

Your father was a ten times worse than Malayketu. You didn't seem to like Malayketu in the very few months you were engaged to him. Then imagine what my condition must have been to be forcibly tied down for life with such a sadist!"

Nandini caressed the scars on her mother's body and said, "Maa, how is it that I never saw your pain or suffering. I never tried to see or understand what you were going through. I never tried to help you. I..."

Avantika: Nandini, I will not mince my words. You were myopic at that time. But I wouldn't want you to remain so your whole life. Don't think about all those omissions and commissions you failed on my account. I am your mother and will ultimately understand you. But never ignore or put your marriage at stake for a person like your father. He is just not worth it. I spoilt my life with my own hands. I wouldn't want to see you repeating the very same mistakes I made. Try to rise above the claims of your blood. Except birth, you owe nothing to it.

Never throw your loyalties with your blood. You are free, Nandini, to make your own marriage a success. It is a much more promising proposition than what was thrust on you in the name of blood relations. You are free to create your own destiny. You are free to follow your dreams. There will be nothing to tie you down or hold you back. Never turn back and see the past, Nandini. There is only doom that way. Look forward to your future. There is a lot to expect and be happy about.

Nandini suddenly hugged her mother, Avantika and began crying. Both mother and daughter continued walking down the long and winding corridors of the palace of Patliputra on their way to their respective chambers.

Padmanand had been crouching behind one of the huge and billowing curtains. He had somehow managed to evade the combing operations. He had been near enough to hear this entire exchange between Avantika and Nandini. His face flushed in wild and insensate rage. He spoke to himself, "So you were responsible for all this, Avantika? How dare you antagonize my daughter against me! I will teach you a lesson!"

But seeing his daughter along with his erring wife, he judged better and just let them pass by without doing anything. He saw that his daughter and his wife had parted at the entrance of Nandini's chamber. He was about to cover himself, duck and follow Avantika, but another wave of soldiers who were sweeping the palace prevented him from moving wherever he was. But he swore a dire retribution on his wife, Avantika, before the night was over. He did not now care what happened to him. Whether he would be caught or killed! All he cared was that he should not get caught before he taught Avantika a lesson.

In Nandini's chamber,

It was almost nearing midnight. When Chandragupt came to her room, he saw her stretched and fast asleep on her bed. He was about to leave when he saw her cheeks which were stained with dried up tears, and one single and lone tear still glistening on her right cheek. Some of her curls were waving about in the soft wind. He was unable to go away from there after seeing this. He pushed her curls aside from her face and wiped her cheeks of her shed and half shed tears. He was about to leave after this when he found his hand being caught by a sleeping Nandini. She had not been sleeping as he had presumed her to be. She had just been trying to sleep but in vain.

Nandini (A bit saucily): Maharaj has so little time for me that he came to my Kaksh and was leaving without breaking my Vrat?

Chandra: Not like that! As a matter of fact, I came because you had not completed your Vrat. But when I saw you asleep, I did not have the heart to wake you up.

Nandini: Is everything alright now, Maharaj?

Chandra: Yes, it is now under control. You reacted pretty quickly when you saw that Assasin, Nandini. That's the reason this entire plot got thwarted. Thank you for saving my life. Earlier, I was a bit rude to you. But I did not mean it. The situation was so tense...I hope you understand!

Nandini: I only did my duty. You need not thank me for that, Maharaj. Though I was initially angry with your rudeness, I understood the reason for it! I am no longer angry. The very fact that Maharaj took time off even today to break my Vrat is enough for me.

Chandra: And I just wanted to tell one more thing! It looks very odd when you keep on calling me Maharaj. Before our marriage you called me a lot of things like Behrupia, Guptchar, Raj Drohi, and so on. What happened so suddenly now that you keep on addressing me like this? It is alright in the court and before others for the sake of decorum. But when we are by ourselves, it sounds so fake and distant.

Nandini: How can any wife call her husband by his name to his face? Should I call you Rajmata ke Putra?

Chandra (Softly smiling to himself and exasperated at the same time): Call me Helena ke Pathi, Durdhara ke Pathi, Pran Nath, Praneshwar, and a half a dozen such stupid epithets. Such strange logic of chastity and right conduct you have! A wife can abuse him to strangers but not call him by his name to his face?

Nandini: You really can't hold that against me. You were not my husband at the time I used abusive words for you.

Chandra (Naughtily smirking away): My! My! How interesting! I didn't know that it was the procedure of Pativrata Streeyon to engage in simple murder attempts of their husband but not call him by his name.

Nandini: Why do you keep bringing that up against me even after I have realized my mistakes? I am not going to break my fast if you keep on pulling my legs like this! (She sat down with a half-angry and half-cute pout on her lips)

Chandra (He turned his back towards her and sat down folding his hands): Alright, I am also going to sit here without going anywhere if you don't call me Chandra to my face. Do you even realize how strange and ridiculous that Maharaj sounds from your lips?

Nandini: No ways! I am not doing it!

Chandra: So you don't want to break your fast then? (There was a curious and mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he said those words as though he had something up his sleeve)

Nandini: No! It's almost midnight and in a couple of hours it will be morning tomorrow. What does it matter if I remain hungry or thirsty for a few more hours?

Chandra: I suppose you don't want to eat this as well. He took out a small bejeweled container from behind him and held it before her. Looks like you don't want to eat what is inside this.
Nandini hastily opened the container and found some mouth watering Imarti in it. That was her favorite sweet. But how did Chandra come to know about it? To her questioning look, he replied, "I asked your Gautami Bhabhi about it. She told me a couple of interesting things about you."

Nandini: Like ...

Chandra: You get hiccups whenever too much ginger is added to your food. Those hiccups go as automatically when somebody holds your nose tight for a minute.

Nandini: Bhabhi told you that?

Chandra: She told me something else as well.

Nandini: What else could she have told?

Chandra: It seems once all your Bhabhis and friends were teasing you about how they were going to get you married to a pot-bellied Maharaj, thrice your own age, with a white and grey grizzled beard overflowing to his knees, and as a revenge, unknown to them, you knotted away all their hair plaits and their Duppattas together. They kept getting up and falling down for nearly half an hour before they could free themselves.

Nandini: This is really unfair of Gautami Bhabhi. She is my Bhabhi and she keeps telling you my secrets!

Chandra: So you don't want this? I got this specially made for you by our Royal cooks. Wouldn't you like to break your fast and have some of your favorite sweet?

Nandini looked longingly at the box and finally nodded her head. Chandra broke her fast by giving her water and fed her with his own hands. In between eating the sweet, she continued, "Yeh, Imarti bhi, aise gol gol hota hai, aur meethi bhi, ki main uske liye kuch bhi kar sakti hoon, [with a bit of slight hesitation in her voice] Chandra! (This Imarti is round and round and sweet too that I can do anything for it...Chandra) If you keep it in your mouth, it melts like this...[She was blissfully enjoying the taste of her favorite sweet unmindful of everything. Suddenly observing that Chandra too was present in the room, offered some of it to him] Tum bhi khao! (You too eat)

She took a piece of the sweet and gave it to him. He hesitantly took it from her hand. Her eyes full of anticipation, she asked, "Achchi hai na?" (It's nice, isn't it?) He nodded, "Shayad thi! Main ithna meetha kabhi nahin khata! Mujhe namkeen ya mirch bhari swad zyada pasand hai. (Perhaps it is! I never eat something so sweet. I like more of salty or spicy tastes) When I was small, my foster mother used to make a Sukhi Bajre ki roti ( Dry roti made from the Bajra flour) which she used to serve with hung curd which she used to make specially for me. She used to serve it with some Aam ka Achar (Mango pickle) and Hari Mirchi (green chilly).

I still remember the lip smacking taste of those rotis. How I miss them even now! I grew up on very simple things. I did not have any luxury worth naming. It was always a struggle to make both ends meet. I often had to pitch in with my own earnings if all of us were to have full meals at least twice a day. There were days when all of us went hungry to bed. I never ate sweets during my childhood. By the time I grew up, I lost my taste for sweets."

Nandini was hearing as though one transfixed or transfigured. She spoke, "I am sorry, Chandra!"

Chandra: You're sorry for what? That I didn't eat sweets? It's not such a big deal. Not everyone has a sweet tooth like you!

Nandini: Chandra... I am sorry that you had to suffer so much and never had that childhood you deserved! I am sorry that you lost your innocence at such a young age and had to face hunger and poverty. And that is a big deal! I realized today what a big thing it is to remain hungry and go to bed without anything to eat or drink. I could hardly manage this single day, and if you had to put up with such a situation throughout your childhood, it is a really sad thing.

Chapter Ten: The Split Psyche

Chandragupt did not know how exactly he had to respond to such words. Somebody expressing sympathy, empathy, and solidarity with him were all very new to him. He had always spent his life fighting against poverty, domestic abuse, reaching upto the expectations of his mentor, fighting against societal injustice, fighting against personal injustice, taking vengeance. It was a real pleasure to be in a relationship with zero expectations and enjoy another person displaying all these finer human emotions for him.

Nandini didn't seem to expect much from him. But the same did not hold good for him. He had started depending and expecting a lot from her. He was getting scared of himself and his feelings. They refused to be within his control. They were overflowing without his own volition. He did the only thing he had been doing since some time; he hastily excused himself and left her chamber. Would to heaven he was rid of these complexities!

Chandra was spending a few quiet moments by himself in his chamber staring at the full moon from his open window when he found a wary arm snaking up his shoulder. When he turned, he found that it was his own alter-ego yet again giving him company. Chandra gave a curious laugh as he said, "I was thinking all this while why you weren't here, and there you are!"

Alter-ego: How could I leave you and go when you appeared so confused? Of course I had to give you company! And that is what I am precisely doing.

Chandra: You have all the time in the world to come here and spout all sorts of nonsense, don't you? Why are you so very interested in seeing me in love? I seem to be the most uninteresting proposition as far as love is concerned! Yet you seem pretty determined to delude yourself that I am in love!

Alter-ego: You are in love and that is the truth! Otherwise why would you be so determined to deny it with such vehemence?

Chandra: And pray what is this love with which I seem to be afflicted according to you? Since you seem to be so knowledgeable, enlighten me on that too!

Alter-ego: Love is nothing but a willingness to open up to the other and to let them into your life and your space, so that it no longer remains yours but becomes ours. Your relationship with Nandini has also reached that level.

Chandra: That is what love does to any individual. And that's the reason why I have always been against love.

Alter-ego: That's really sad then, because you have already fallen in love with Nandini. Though you don't want to give her that space within your heart, she is already within without your knowledge.

Chandra: No, I am not in love. Love changes any individual into a bundle of contradictions. It makes a person so vulnerable. It gives a second person access to your innermost self. They can get into your heart with impunity and mess you up from within. If I have foolishly given her that power over myself and allowed her to creep into my heart, I will shake her off from there!

Alter-ego: You can try! But in shaking her off from there, you will hurt her terribly. But the person most hurt in this entire charade will be yourself. You will be the most hurt by her hurt. You have learnt to feel, and feel very deeply at the most intrinsic level, after years and years of disillusionment, disenchantment, distaste and cynicism.

Chandra: How can I trust her or believe her? She is the daughter of my enemy. How could I know which way she will swing when she comes to know that her father is still alive? She could still be scheming, deceiving or trying to get into my good books for some ulterior motives.

Alter-ego: You seriously do not think so, do you? Regardless of your mind, your heart seems to believe and trust her! And what deception or scheming are you talking about? You're the one who is pulling up the cruelest deception on her by hiding a truth that is closest to her heart. You're the one who is playing a definite part to win her confidence, faith and trust without personally keeping it yourself.

Chandra: I am not doing anything wrong. Whatever I am doing, I am doing for the greater good. I have a justification for everything I am doing.

Alter-ego: Going by your very same logic, Nandini had her own justification for everything that she was doing. Just because you are playing a part, why should you think she would be doing so as well? The only reason why you want to think so is because it would relieve you of some of your guilt for deceiving and manipulating her if you could prove to yourself that she is equally bad or even worse.

Chandra: Appearances are often deceptive. What exactly do you or I know about her? She learned the truth about her father and brothers only a few days ago. That is a very short time for such a complete internal transition and transformation. She could still be the same internally.

Alter-ego: Granted that a few days is too short a span to know someone. But sometimes a few moments give us an epiphany about a person that years and years of association fail to give us. What matters is not the quantity of association but its quality. Have you ever seen the ladies cooking rice in earthen pots?

Chandra: What do earthen pots have to do with my predicament?

Alter-ego: Everything on earth! Do you know how these ladies find out if the rice is fully cooked or not. They take a single grain like this and press it between their fingers. That single grain tells them if the entire pot of rice is cooked, uncooked or half-cooked. They do not empty the whole pot or keep examining grain after grain.

Chandra: Now what does this have to do with Nandini? You love to tangle everything. It gives you pleasure speaking in riddles.

Alter-ego: And you love to complicate and tangle things in the name of simplicity. You start with blanket generalizations and assumptions, and rigidly hold on to them in the hope that they would make things simpler for you. You experienced something during your childhood, and formed an opinion that love makes a human being weak, incompetent and vulnerable, and is hence a bad thing. You started running away from love ever since under this blanket assumption. But do you know, if you had stopped and faced the situation, things would have been better. If you had learned to accept your feelings as they are, things would have been simpler and less knotted.

Chandra: I really don't see how my acceptance of anything is making a difference!

Alter-ego: Maybe not today, nor tomorrow, nor the day after either; but a day will surely come when you will not be able to keep up this pretense. That day you will be forced to accept yourself and your feelings, and the person whom it all concerns about may not be ready to accept it.

Chandra: Do you mean Nandini?

Alter-ego: Yes, I do!

Chandra: She leaves me conflicted and you think I love her? What a joke!

Alter-ego: She makes you feel, she makes you reach out beyond your narrow self and its priorities. I agree that Nandini leaves you conflicted. Her presence in your life peels off layer after layer of you just like an onion. By the time it is over, you are completely naked and cannot hide behind any wall of pretense. Your emotional nakedness before her makes you cut up rough. It makes you angry, it makes you brood, it fills you with angst, but you cannot help it. If you analyse whether Nandini intended to do this to you, the answer to this question would be an emphatic 'No'! She is perhaps not even aware that she has this impact on you. It is your mistake here because you gave her that power over you. She did not snatch it from you. You willingly gave it to her!

In Avantika's chamber,

Avantika was sleeping when she felt a sharp pain attack her near her throat. She involuntarily gave a slight scream and got up. When she examined her throat, she found it bleeding. Her eyes were racked with fear. She started breathing heavily. She ventured a very timid, "Kaun hai?" (Who is it?) before her mouth was shut and she was forcibly engulfed by Padmanand in his arms.

Avantika (her facial muscles twitching in fear and terror): Aap jeevit hain? (Are you alive?)

Nand: Haan! Tumhe anand nahin hua? (Yes! Aren't you happy?)

Avantika: Haan...hoon! Mujhe anand hai ke...aap...jeevit hain! (Yes...I am. I am happy...that you...are alive)

Nand (smiling an evil and cruel laugh): It amazes me Avantika to see with what impunity you lie!

Avantika: Ardhath? (What do you mean?)

Nand: Didn't you still understand? (His voice steadily rising in pitch and ominousness) What nonsense were you telling my daughter? Nandini is my strength and weakness, and you were trying to antagonize her against me, and speaking on behalf of my enemy?

Avantika (her voice stammering in fear by now): I ...thought that ...you were dead...Nan...dini...was spoiling her...married life...so...I was just telling...her the truth. I wanted...to see my daughter...happy in ...her life. She is...your daughter...too! Don't you ...want to see her...leading...a happy...married life

Nand: Okay granted that you were telling her my truth. But why did you forget to tell her your truth. Tum kyun mujhe Rakshas banakar khud Sati Savitri bankar ghoom rahi thi? Main doshi tha, toh tum bhi kuch kam nahin! (Why were you making a demon out of me while you were giving a picture as though you were a Sati Savitri? If I was wrong, you weren't less!) I want Nandini to be happy, but only with me! And you were trying to hitch her up with my enemy? Aur... Aaj...abhi main tumhe iska dand dunga! (And...today...just now, I am going to punish you!)

Avantika (pleading): Maaf keejiye! (Forgive me!)

Nand wrenched her hands and tied them behind her before he stuffed her mouth with cotton and cloth. Then he proceeded to slash her body pretty wildly with his sword. Suddenly a wild and wicked glint came into his eyes. He took out the shaving knife which he never parted with from the inner folds of his garments and started shaving away all the hair on Avantika's head in a very rash and painful manner. Finally, she was completely bald. He roughly pushed her aside and left her room and made his way to the secret passage.

By the time he had reached the passage, Avantika managed to free herself. Blood curdling and incoherent cries emanated from her room. Nand quickly shut the passage. But in his hurry, he did not shut it completely. It was half-open. Nandini reached her mother's room first and found her mother in a highly deplorable state. To Nandini's questions of who did this to her, she kept muttering the words, "Teri Pitha Maharaj jeevit hain! Woh mujhe maardenge!" (Your father is alive! He is going to kill me!)

For an instant, Nandini could not just grasp what she heard. Its real meaning sunk in only after some time. Her whole face instantly lit up for an instant before it became dark and gloomy again. She resolutely asked, "Maa, Pithaji kahan gaye?" (Where did father go?) Her mother incoherently gestured towards a particular direction.



Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Eleven: In the Secret Passage

Nandini instinctively darted towards that way almost forgetting for a moment that her mother was so severely wounded and mentally traumatized and needed her beside her more than ever. She knew in one corner of her mind that she was not doing the right thing. But her quest for the truth and their answers were so pressing that she just could not ignore it.

If she let this opportunity go, she would perhaps never get her answers. She needed to know them to receive a perfect and full closure of her past and start life anew on a fresh slate. As she glanced back, she could make out Chandragupt's disturbed face as he took in the scene before his eyes. He too had arrived on the scene. He shouted for the soldiers and the maids, his voice hoarse with fury and anger.

The sight of Avantika brought back all the troublesome memories of his childhood when he had seen his foster mother being physically abused by his foster father. He had no love lost for Avantika, but still he wouldn't approve anybody treating a woman like this in his own palace, right beneath his nose.

He would severely punish the perpetrator of that crime whoever he was. He entrusted Avantika in the hands of Moora who had arrived by now listening to all this commotion, with an injunction to immediately send for the Royal physician and get her treated before he rushed behind Nandini and Padmanand.

Padmanand had almost neared the end of the secret passage by now. He heaved a sigh of relief. He would be beyond the reach of Chandragupt and Chanakya within a few minutes. Just then he was stopped by Nandini who seemed to have pursued her father through this passage.

Nandini: Pitha Maharaj, you cannot go away from here.

Nand: Nandini, do not be foolish! Just let me go!

Nandini: Did you do that to Maa?

Nand: Don't be silly, Nandini! I will be caught if I remain here any longer.

Nandini: I want my answers, Pithaji! Was it you who behaved with Maa in that depraved manner?Are you really as bad as everyone keeps telling me?

Nand: Everyone is misleading you!

Nandini: Then enlighten me about the truth! I am listening! I really want to know the full truth today.

Nand: It's good you came here. Now Chandragupt will not be able to use you against me. All of them are lying and conspiring against me. Come with me. I will tell you everything. But this is not the time and place for it. Once we get out of here, I will clarify all your doubts.

Saying this, Padmanand pulled Nandini towards him and was trying to lead her away. Nandini was initially shocked and confused. She did not know how to react to this. All the evidence was against Padmanand. There was no reason to believe him or give him that opportunity to explain his side of the story. There could be no possible justification according to her intellect. But all the same, her heart wanted to listen to all the answers with her own ears, before finally condemning her once dear father even in her memories.

Just then Nandini found her free left hand being pulled in the opposite direction by somebody. When she turned her face that side, she found that it was none other than Chandragupt who had followed her and her father down that secret passage. With an angry and stony glare in his face he said, "Your mother is battling between life and death because of this man and you still ran after him? You're literally impossible, Nandini! Are you blind or what? Can't you see this man's truth?"

Nandini: You are misunderstanding me, Chandra!

Nand (from the other end): Nandini come with me! You are wasting time!

By this time, Chandragupt had flushed to red hot, uncontrollable anger and fury. He lashed out saying, "Today you will have to choose one of the two, Nandini. It is either me or your father. If you choose your father, the doors of this palace and this relationship will forever be closed to you!"

These words jolted Nandini out of her dazed and uncomprehending state. She caught hold of both his hands, turned towards Chandragupt, and said, "Main hamesha tera saath dungi! Ek skshan ke liye bhatak gayi thi! Ek skshan thodi durbal padgayi!" (I will always support you! I got misled for a minute! I became weak for a minute!)

Nand looking that all was lost on this front, turned his heels and was about to make good his escape. Chandragupt noticing this, drew his sword and was about to pursue and catch Nand from escaping. Nandini caught hold of his feet while saying, "Please let him go, Chandra! Woh durbal hai! Woh kuch nahin karsakthe! Main saath dehrahi hoon naa tumhari, Chandra? Mere liye sirf unhe jeevit chodh do!" (He is weak! He cannot do anything! I am supporting you Chandra, am I not? Just leave him alive for my sake!)

Chandra, as he tried to push her off from his way, "Moork math bano Nandini! Mere pair chodo! Mujhe Nand ko har halat main aaj pakadna aur maarna hai!" (Don't be stupid, Nandini! Leave my legs! I have to catch Nand at all costs today and kill him!)

Nandini, mullishly catching hold of him, "Nahin! Unhe jeevit chodo, Chandra!
Chaho toh unhe bandhi banalo! Mere liye! Sirf mere liye, Chandra! Agar tum unhe maroge toh main apna manasik santhulan kho baithungi! Pathi aur pitha ke beech batkar simat jaungi!" (No! Leave him alive, Chandra! If you want, imprison him! For me! Just for me, Chandra! If you kill him, I will lose my mental stability! Divided between husband and father, I will lose myself!)

Chandra in his irritation and exasperation, "Tumhara saath ka kya karoon? Achchar dalun kya? (What will I do with your support? Do you expect me to pickle it?) I used and manipulated you and gained your trust just for this day!"

Nandini, dazed and unable to believe whatever Chandra seemed to be telling her, "Wasn't all that which happened between us real?"

Chandragupt his voice and visage spitting fire and lava like a volcanic eruption, "No! You were just a means to an end!"

Nandini, by now latching on to a new aspect regarding the whole scenario, "So...so...you always knew Pitha Maharaj was...alive!"

Chandragupt, who had by now reached the tolerance limit of his patience and fortitude, said, "Yes! I knew all along that your father and brother Dhan were alive!"

Nandini: If you knew it all along why did you hide it from me? Where was the need? If not initially, you could have at least told me later when I realized about the true character of my father and brothers. Why didn't you?

Chandra: You expect me to keep leaking confidential and classified information like that to you! I am not so foolish! How would I know you were not acting a part? How would I know which way the equilibrium would swing once you came to that knowledge? How would I know I could trust you blindly and you would keep faith with me always?

By now all of Nandini's tears had dried up. She needed only one single answer from Chandra to reconfirm her worst fears, "So you will never trust me with anything, whatever I do? Will our past always remain between us?"

Chandragupt was getting irritated by now. With what sort of stupid questions was Nandini detaining him from following Nand. He was going to escape in all probability if he did not follow him instantly. He pushed Nandini aside and flinched away from her grasp telling, "Yes! It always will! See even today you let me down! At a time when you should have been in the palace with your wounded and traumatized mother, you were busy running with this man."

Nandini's entire world had come collapsing at this point. She was nobody's at this point of time, neither father's nor husband's. She belonged to no one. None of the two were ready to accept her for what she really was! She could not be her father's after all that knowledge she had gained about him, and Chandra was never ready to see her or treat her as his though she had thrown her entire lot with him.

Chandra was always going to count her failings and put her on the stake of judgement. All her good aspects were going to be ignored or taken for granted, and her unintentional mistakes were going to be magnified to monstrous proportions. She was by now tired and mentally exhausted of perpetually proving herself worthy of regard and trust.

Chandra continued adding insult to injury, "All that was a scheme and drama to ferret out Padmanand and Dhananand from the rat hole in which they had gone and hidden! I knew that he was alive. I knew that he would come for you. You were both my shield and sword against them. That's why I married you..."

All her hopes and dreams had once again been dashed to the ground. All her visions of happiness and bliss had once again turned into mirages. This was the unkindest cut of all. She was figuratively bleeding all over without the slightest trace of blood.

Nandini felt as though somebody had forcibly gouged out her heart and soul from her body. This felt like living death. That was when Chandra realized that he had blabbered a bit too much to her. But he couldn't waste any more time in explanations. He rushed behind Padmanand but in vain. He had made good his escape by now.

Chandragupt retuned back to the passage where he had left Nandini. He was terribly angry and frustrated. All his attempts had been in vain. He thumped his balled fists into the nearby wall. He stamped his feet in frustration and disappointment. To have been so near his goal and yet so far!

Nandini was sitting still without moving, almost like a statue where he had originally left her. He said, "Come! Let's go from here, Nandini! Nand has escaped! I will leave you with your mother. I have many other things to attend to after that. I'll have to urgently get this secret passage destroyed as a precautionary measure!"

Nandini, got up from there in a resolute and resigned manner, gathering back the tattered pieces of her self-respect and self-esteem in her hands, "Yes, Maharaj!"

Chandra was taken aback for a fleeting instant, "We decided just a short while ago that you would call me Chandra when we are alone! I prefer being called Chandra!"

There was a strange and eerie silence in the sinuous secret passage. There was an icy aloofness, emptiness and distance in Nandini's voice as she replied, "I will always choose what is right! There is no need for further pretense to ensure my support, Maharaj! Your wish will be complied with."

Chapter Twelve: The Treaty

At that moment, Chandra did not pay much attention to Nandini or her behavior. He did not immediately notice that something very significant had happened in the equation between both of them. He was too preoccupied and busy at the present moment to pay attention to it.

In a deeply closeted chamber,

Chanakya and Chandragupt were discussing the fallout of whatever had happened.

Chandragupt: Acharya, what happened today could have had very serious consequences. There has been a definite security lapse. Even after the premeditated attack was thwarted, Nand managed to evade our soldiers. To think that he pulled off such a heinous deed right beneath our noses on Nandini's mother makes me even more angrier.

Chanakya: I have been informed by the Raj Vaid that her condition is stable now. I have personally seen to the destruction of that secret passage constructed by Amatya Rakshas for an eventuality like this. We really have to negate Rakshas and his brains. Nand without Rakshas would never be in a position to do anything.

Chandragupt: Has the general security for our palace been tightened? Have the causes for the security lapses been analysed and attended to?

Chanakya: Yes, they have been taken care of!

Chandragupt: Acharya, I have been thinking of something since some time. Isn't it possible that we remove Nandini and the rest of the ladies of the Nand family and have them maintained elsewhere in a decent manner? After that brutal attack on Nandini's mother, I felt that a man like Padmanand would not be held back from anything just because the ladies of his families are living under our protection and mercy.

I really doubt if their presence with us is actually going to shield us. We apparently seem to have been misled by his excessive show of love and affection for them. It all looks like a vain ego trip which Nand kept on pulling up for the sake of appearances. In a crunch situation, he wouldn't be above to deserting them to save his own skin.

Chanakya: Maharaj, I fear I have some news which would really disturb you. There are more reasons why all these women have to remain with us. After today's attack on Avantika for the simple reason that she spoke in your favor to Nandini; I feel all these ladies are better off with us. This dastardly attack happened right in front of us with all these security arrangements in place.

At least here, we were on the spot to take some remedial measures. If we kept these ladies elsewhere, we wouldn't be on the spot to really help them in their time of need. If it was for our own benefit and selfish reasons, I think we need not retain these ladies with us any longer.

We saw first hand that for Padmanand, his own ego and saving his own skin even at the cost of the lives of these ladies, is of paramount importance. But these ladies now share an additional relationship with you as well. They happen to be related to you because of your marriage to Nandini. We just cannot leave them defenseless like Nand did just because we need them no longer.

Chandragupt: I too feel the same. But some of the revelations which happened today have made things a bit unpleasant and awkward between me and Nandini. So I just thought if it was possible...

Chanakya: Maharaj, I am sorry for interrupting you, but there are some more details which I have to share with you. You could take your decision on keeping Nandini here or elsewhere after listening to that. But before that I would like to introduce one of the spies in my trusted network to you.

(He turned to the other side of a dark corner of the chamber and said)
Satyajit, you can step over! Maharaj, this is Satyajit. He has managed to infiltrate into Padmanand's secret army. He has been sending us several reports on the activities of Padmanand and his supporters pretty diligently. Satyajit sent me reports on a possible attack on the royal palace during the festivities. But it seems to have been intercepted.

That's why we did not receive prior information or intelligence reports on this particular attack which could have ended disastrously for us. Satyajit on realizing that his information had been intercepted, came over to give me this report personally risking the threat of detection and instantaneous death.

Chandragupt: Satyajit, I am proud of you and your accomplishments. Even if this attempt went vain, I have to appreciate the fact that you tried to rectify it when you realized that your report was intercepted. Do you have any additional information apart from what has already happened? How are Nand, Dhananand and Rakshas presently situated? Is it possible for us to attack them now with our army?

Satyajit: Maharaj, it is my privilege to serve you! From what I could learn, the whole of Nand's secret army has been dispersed in the frontier regions of Magadh in heavily forested and mountainous locations at ten different secret locations. Padmanand, Dhananand and Rakshas are not personally staying with any of these contingents. They have sought refuge from Parvatak Malayketu's maternal uncle Veerabahu, who happens to be the king of Uthara Meru, a small kingdom adjoining the state of Parvathak. Though the kingdom of Parvathak is under our control, Uthara Meru is not.

A confederacy of all those kings who have been against us have joined hands and are in the process of building up their strength to wage war against us. My sources tell me that Makayketu and his father have also joined hands with Padmanand and Dhananand against us. They have even entered into a secret treaty with Padmanand. I have managed to secure a copy of that treaty with very great difficulty. These are the terms and conditions of that treaty.

Satyajit gave a scroll to Chandragupt for his reference: Please allow me to leave, Maharaj. If I remain here any longer, my absence will be noticed and I will not be able to accomplish my goals!

Chandragupt: Yes, you may leave now! Keep sending regular reports and take care not to get caught! We all know what sort of a man Nand is! If he comes to know, he would kill you in the cruelest and crudest manner possible in order to make an example out of your death for other spies like you.

Satyajit: Maharaj, I am fighting on the side of right. I would welcome and willingly embrace even death in such a cause.

Chandragupt: I admire your bravery and patriotism Satyajit! All the same I would want you to be alive and fine, and serve the Matrubhoomi for many more years to come. Our country needs men like you alive. Don't be so very eager to throwaway a valuable life like yours.

Chanakya and Chandragupt were discussing what options they had for tackling Nand and Dhananand.

Chandragupt: Acharya, is it feasible to raid these secret locations and destroy these army contingents?

Chanakya: We do not have the full details of these contingents or their exact manpower. Moreover, we would loose a lot of our soldiers. Our opponents are more strategically located than us and have the additional advantage of being able to engage in guerilla warfare.

At the end of this, we would gain nothing as Padmanand, Dhananand and Rakshas would still be beyond our reach. They are in Uthara Meru. So we would have to launch an offensive against the kingdom of Uttara Meru. All that would take some time. We have just now fought two wars. Our army and people need time to recuperate and regroup for another major war.

They started going through the treaty Satyajit had managed to bring to them and were astounded when they went through the terms and conditions. There was one particular condition in the treaty that disturbed them greatly.

Chandragupt: I did not think that Nand and Malayketu could stoop so low in their quest for power and revenge. Nandini is my wife and these two had the temerity to talk about getting a married woman remarried to Malayketu even when I am still alive?

Chanakya: Maharaj, that's what I had feared. Your opponents could stoop to any level to get even with you. Padmanand wouldn't flinch even a second in getting Rani Nandini married to Malayketu if it serves his interests. He might even try to kidnap her. It would be a terrible affront and loss of face to us if we fail in protecting Rani Nandini from such a fate.

Being your wife and queen, her honor is your honor as well. My personal advice would be that Rani Nandini is safe only as long as she is here under your custody and protection. Elsewhere, we really cannot be so sure about the security arrangements. Yesterday was an eye-opener for all of us what Padmanand and Amatya Rakshas are capable of.

In Nandini's chamber,

Nandini had to remain strong for the sake of her mother. She could not afford to breakdown. She remained externally strong and collected though she felt empty and sapped of all energy and strength from within. Once her mother was announced to be fine by the Royal physician who treated her, she returned to her room and locked herself within it.

Her tears refused to stop flowing. She kept wiping them away but they kept on flowing uncontrollably. She kept asking herself, "Why did you do this to me, Chandra? Why? You taught me to forget my hatred and love you, but I couldn't make you trust me! How did I fail so badly?"

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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14th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 8 years ago
Chapter Thirteen: The Blowup

Nandini's distraught and nerve racked face which was the last he had seen of her some hours ago somehow continued troubling Chandra in one corner of his mind. Once he had finished his duties, he made his way to her room at the earliest possible. He began narrating whatever had happened from the time he had parted from her and casually updated her with some of the later developments.

Nandini nodded her head without responding to whatever he said. He had expected that she was going to be very angry and was going to throw a raging fit. But there was only silence. It confused him terribly. He didn't know what to expect or anticipate from Nandini's behavior.

However, encouraged by the lack of anger in her demeanor, Chandra reasoned and assumed that Nandini was not upset and everything was going to be alright. He did not realize that what he was perceiving as her silence was the calm before a storm. After some time, he was comparatively emboldened by this to seek Nandini's opinion about some decisions pertaining to the Magadh administration.

Nandini did not give any reply. Assuming that she must not have heard him properly, Chandra reiterated his questions. Nandini replied, "Maharaj, I think it would be advisable if you did not discuss such things with a traitor and unreliable person like me. All this is confidential and classified information which I could possibly misuse against you. I think Acharya Chanakya, the ministers of your Mantri Mandal or Rajmata would be better equipped and more reliable than me in giving you the advise you seek."

Chandra still did not get the exact drift of what was troubling her, "When did I ever imply that you were a traitor or unreliable person. I was seeking your opinion because you raised these very issues in the court. I have already sought Acharya Chanakya's opinion and that of my ministers. Similarly I have personally discussed them with the Rajmata. Before giving my final decision, I just wanted to clarify. That's all!"

Nandini: I see! I have nothing else, Maharaj!

Chandra: Alright! And how many times do I have to tell you that I hate being called Maharaj! Call me Chandra when we are alone! You were doing the same thing in that passage too. I let it go at that time as I had a number of things to attend to.

Nandini: If it is Maharaj's command, how can I go against it? I will call you as Chandra, Maharaj!

Chandra: Maharaj, again? Will you plainly tell me what is bothering you? Actually I ought to be angry with you. Nand escaped plainly because of your stupidity. Otherwise he would have been dead by now!

Nandini: Then Maharaj should obviously punish me for it. A Raj Drohi escaped just because of me! Main dand ke liye prasthuth hoon! Karagruh hi sahi! Yeh bhi toh karawas seh kam nahin lagtha! (I am ready for punishment. Let it be the Royal Prison! This situation too doesn't seem less than an imprisonment!)

Chandra: Oh, that! I know this entire thing must have been a sudden shock to you! I should have told you before. That would have saved this unpleasant situation. Anyways I will catch Nand and Dhananand in a few days. When did I call you a Raj Drohi by the way?

Nandini: Just unpleasant? Incredible! Even if you are not directly calling me as a Raj Drohi, that's what you imply in all your actions! I am unreliable and traitorous! I am Maharaj Padmanand's daughter! And this truth will never change for anybody! Whatever I do, however hard I work, I would be worthy of nobody's trust! How evil of me to be the daughter of a man like Maharaj Padmanand! I no doubt must have conspired against Magadh to become his daughter in the first place.

Chandra: You're reading too much, Nandini! I didn't mean half the things that I spoke in that secret passage. I was plainly irritated and frustrated by your behavior!

Nandini: Then, Maharaj, please tell me the things you meant! I will change my behavior accordingly!

Chandra: Nandini, are you upset that I did not tell you about your father and Dhan Bhaiyya being alive? The situation at that time was so fluid and volatile. I didn't know to which side the equilibrium would swing if I told you the truth. Just think for yourself how I could trust you with such important and confidential information at such a crucial juncture like this?

Nandini: My problem is not that you hid the truth! My problem is that I will forever be regarded as unworthy of trust. I cannot expect truth and transperancy even from my husband. I will never be able to accept as ultimate truth what people are to me based on their behavior, even my husband's! I took every small bit that happened between us as the ultimate truth, and when I get to know that all of it happens to be a manipulation for ulterior motives, you can guess what went through me!

Chandra: You're thinking too much from the heart. It is not even as bad as it seems to you. I have a perfect explanation for everything.

Nandini: I would like to listen to your explanation for once, Maharaj! Am I wrong if I assume that this marriage was an unpleasant political compromise for you?

Chandra: Yes, it is! And you too knew it, don't you?

Nandini: Yes, I knew it. But I seem to have misunderstood the reasons for this compromise. You didn't marry me with any altruistic intention of providing me and the other women of this side safety, security and a respectable establishment after the supposed demise of my father and all my brothers? I usually think completely from my heart. For a change, I would like to understand using my brain if you would help me out.

Chandra: No, my reasons for this compromise weren't so altruistic. I wouldn't have married you at all in such a situation. I would have decently provided for all of you without marrying you. I married you to nullify and negate Nand and Dhananand!

Nandini: Then it means, I was your sword and shield by this political marriage. I was born and brought up a princess. So I too know some amount of political theory and strategy.

Chandra: Yes! That was the purpose of this political marriage.

Nandini: So that must have implied that you always acted a part with me and used and manipulated me?

Chandra: Yes, I was forced to act and manipulate you!

Nandini: I have heard everything I had to, Maharaj! I will organize my behavior accordingly!

For some reason, Chandra was upset and stumped by Nandini's logic! Though whatever she had asked and he had replied were completely valid and made complete sense, yet they appeared imperfect and incomplete. It hurt him to think that he would appear a complete cad in her eyes. It shouldn't have mattered to him how he appeared in the eyes of Nand's daughter, but for some reason, he was no longer able to differentiate and distinguish her like that. He had begun seeing her only as Nandini.

Chandra had a higher purpose behind every action of his, but when he witnessed the woebegone, pale and contorted face of Nandini, everything had started seeming so wrong. He began hating himself for whatever he did. It was as if a knife had passed through him every time he listened to her cutting words, saw her accusing eyes, or heard her addressing him as Maharaj again and again.

Why did he have so much power in his hands? He was better off when he wasn't a king. Till now he had never felt that kingship was a burden or wearing a golden crown on his head was like wearing a crown of thorns. This moment he literally felt it. For all the power in his hands, he couldn't change her justified opinion about him. He couldn't change the way she thought about him despite the fact that it hurt him terribly.

Nandini suddenly got up from where she was sitting and paced the room this way and that before she said, "Maharaj, if you will forgive me for saying so, can I just ask for something from you?

Chandra brightened up for a minute thinking he could appease her by doing whatever she wanted provided it was within his power. He hesitantly asked,"What is it?"

Nandini: Will you please allow me to go away from here? I just cannot remain with you. It drives me mad when I keep thinking what a fool I have been and how I have deluded myself. First, I trusted my father and brothers. I got misled by them. I suffered for no fault of mine. Then YOU TOO...

Nandini left this statement half said overhanging in the troublesome air of the chamber.

Chandra: You ask for the impossible! Perhaps some time later! But I cannot allow that at the present moment. There have been some disturbing developments recently which makes it imperative for you to remain here with me. There is nothing of my selfishness or planning in it. There has been a treaty...
Nandini: Oh, is it? I am ready to listen to more stories like this.

Chandra: This is the truth and you will have to trust me!

Nandini: Why should I trust you, Maharaj? Just because you are saying it, do I have to take it?

Chandra: I could show you the proof!

Nandini: When feelings and behavior themselves can be manipulated, proofs can also be fabricated and manipulated!

Chandra: If you argue like this, I cannot tell anything. Truth has to be taken at its face value.

Nandini: Was I ever given a chance to prove myself? Were my words ever taken at face value? Was I ever regarded as worthy of trust? Then why do you expect me to extend towards you what you never extended towards me?

Chandra: Nandini I have always treated you with Samman and given you full rights over everything! You cannot keep on blaming me for something I did in the best interests of the state.

Nandini heartbroken and distraught, "Thank you for everything, Maharaj. I thank you for all the rights and Samman you have given me. I will be eternally indebted to you for them. I just want to know now if I at least have my right over myself and this room? Or is even that right taken away from me by Maharaj?

Chandra: You will have all other rights except leaving this palace!

Nandini: Then would Maharaj please allow me the use of my room without disturbing me with his presence. I wouldn't like to be rude or impertinent. Forgive me if I am so! I would be terribly grateful if Maharaj will consider some doors and windows shut to him forever. Let the doors and windows of this chamber and my heart be regarded like that!

Saying this, Nandini stood up making a deep bow of obeisance and obsequiousness as if requesting Chandra to just let her be. Chandra had never felt so unloved and gobsmacked even during his childhood when his foster father was beating the crap out of him as he precisely felt at this moment when Nandini was telling him off with utmost politeness and respect. He would rather have preferred to see her raging against him than become this ice maiden.

Chapter Fourteen: Plans for Escape

Just as Chandragupt was stepping outside Nandini's room, he found Helena loitering about in the corridor and observing him from afar. He was about to go away from there after just giving her a summary greeting as much as courtesy and politeness demanded. Just as he was about to excuse himself, Helena requested, "Chandra, won't you spend this night with me in my chamber? It's been a long time since we spent time together!"

Chandra changed his mind and nodded his head in acquiescence. Both of them headed towards Helena's room. They spent some time together intimately, and then they started discussing about general things like the weather, palace administration, state policies, and so on! Helena told that she would bring some excellent wine from Greece for both of them and that he would enjoy it. He excused himself telling, "Thank you! You drink if you want. Just get me some fruit Sherbet! I generally don't prefer to drink something that makes you lose your control over yourself."

Helena did not argue. She brought him the fruit Sherbet he had wanted while she poured for herself a glass of the finest wine from Greece. As both of them were sipping their drinks, she hesitantly began, "Chandra do you practice your principles of not entertaining something which makes you lose your control over yourself only for wine or for people too?"

Chandra: Come again?

Helena: Do you practice this abstinence from things which make you lose control only with wine or with people too?

Chandra: Ask whatever you want directly. You can reserve all this wordplay and sophistry for someone else!

Helena: Why do you keep on going back to Nandini again and again even though she keeps on insulting you? I just cannot understand this!

Chandra (narrowed down his eyes as if not to give away the slightest bit of expression or emotions and said in a highly assertive and affirmative tone): Helena, if you want something, it will be done! Bother about what I am to you, and not about what I am to Nandini or to Durdhara. Whatever happens between the closed doors between you and me is just for ourselves. I assure you that neither Nandini nor Durdhara will enter into it, nor will I allow them to do it. But the same holds good for you too. You will not enter into what or how I am to either Durdhara or Nandini behind closed doors. It is the very least of your concerns. This time I am just warning you. Next time my action will be severer!

Helena: Why shouldn't I bother when this Nandini seems to be blatantly insulting you? In what way has she bewitched you that you always seem to be taking her side? We spent time together just now. Didn't I give you pleasure and satisfaction? What does she actually give you that I, Durdhara, or for that matter any Courtesan or Daasi cannot give you?

Chandra: Nandini has her justifications! If she crosses her limits, I know how to handle her.(After a long pause) I wasn't speaking any of this out of concern for you. But since you're so interested, hear it out!

Yes, you're right! Nandini has bewitched me. She gives me something that none of you; you, Durdhara, the Daasis or Courtesans give me or can ever give me.

Yes, all of you gave me physical pleasure and satisfaction. I do not deny it! What do you call it in your language? I think the name of the word in 'fitoor'! NANDINI MERA FITOOR HAI!

Since childhood, I led a very unsatisfactory, incomplete and unfulfilled existence. I was forced to let go of many of the things and people I wanted to keep with me forever. That will not happen now! I won't allow anybody to come in between me and Nandini! NOT EVEN NANDINI HERSELF! Does this answer suit you now?

With this answer, Chandra left Helena's chamber. Helena had only herself to blame for and feel sorry for having asked this question to Chandra. She would rather she had left this question to Chandra unasked, because the answer she had received to it was such that it hurt nobody but herself.

In Nandini's chamber,

The next morning, Nandini was sitting in her chamber lost in thought when she had an unexpected visitor. It was the Patrani of Magadh, Helena. She began, "I don't know how you are going to take this offer. I can get you out of this palace provided you are willing to go away from here and Chandra's life forever.

Nandini: What's your concern in all this? You cannot be taking this huge risk for me!

Helena: I knew that you were always clever. And I was not wrong. I am not doing it for you. I wanted to see you out of Chandra's life forever. After hearing about all the happenings, I surmised that you would not be averse to this proposal, am I?

Nandini: I find it stifling and suffocating to remain here after whatever happened recently. But what about the fate of the other women on the Magadhan side if I go away. Won't they be tortured or punished?

Helena: You must have known Chandra pretty well by now. He will not ill treat women belonging to any side. It is against Chandra's and Acharya Chanakya's principles. Moreover, I personally give you the assurance that they will be taken care of even if you go away from here.

Nandini (By now warming up to this scheme): It is easier said than done. How are we even going to pull it off? There is such tight security. It wouldn't be such an easy thing outwitting Maharaj Chandragupt and Acharya Chanakya.

Helena: I know that. But I am Helena too! What I want to know is do you have a safe and secure haven elsewhere in Magadh apart from your father or brother who are themselves in hiding? Moreover, if you are planning to go to them, I too wouldn't want to help you. I am taking such a huge risk for you. I will not do it if it is going to be detrimental to my interests or that of Magadh. You should be beyond the reach of Acharya Chanakya and his spy network once you leave this palace.

Nandini: I do have a Sakhi of mine to whom I could go. Should I tell you where?

Helena: Not necessary! I can get you to the northeast bank of the stream that flows at a considerable distance beyond the palaces walls. You will have to manage on your own after that. If I stay away from the palace for longer than that, we will surely be detected and caught. Is that okay?

Nandini: Perfect! When should I be ready?

Helena: We will start at midnight. Send off all your Daasis telling you want to be alone and do not want to be disturbed. Lock yourself in your chamber after that. When I feel everything is safe and we can go, I will knock on your door thrice two times like this. (Helena demonstrated their code) Borrow the dress of one of your Daasis and wear your pallu fully covering your face like this. Got it!
Nandini who was overwhelmed, hugged Helena, telling, "Thank you! You're an angel!"

Helena gently freed herself before quipping, "No! I am simply human! And that too terribly flawed!

That midnight, Nandini was sitting with expectant nervousness and anxiety. The agreed hour for escape came and passed away. She assumed that Helena had perhaps been detained due to some reason. She started counting the minutes, and gradually, the minutes transformed into hours. She was afraid and scared by now. What had prevented Helena from coming? She hoped that Helena wouldn't be in any trouble. Finally to her great relief, she heard their agreed signal for escape on her door. But when she opened it, she was flabbergasted to find Chandragupt standing outside her chamber.

Nandini gave a furtive and stealthy glance, before she recollected herself, tried acting as though she had just woken up from sleep, saying, "Maharaj, you, so early in the morning? Is anything the matter?

Chandra: I assume you had a good night's sleep!

Nandini: Of course! Thank you for your concern!

Chandra: There is something I would like to discuss with you within the privacy of your chamber. I wouldn't like to be creating a public scene of our private issues. Does your condition for my ban in your chamber prevail even today or has it been lifted?

Nandini was feeling a bit guilty and sheepish with herself for going overboard with her feelings. She had no legal or moral right to be passing such injunctions and expect that they be complied with. It was neither sensible nor advisable for either her or Chandragupt to be washing their dirty linen in public. They had their personal issues but it would hardly be fit for public consumption. It would set such a bad precedent to everyone. She nodded her head in approval.


Chandra as he was entering her chamber: Yesterday you seemed so averse to my presence in your room! Is it alright today? I wouldn't want to curtail your freedom or rights even by the least degree!

Nandini: I wasn't cool and collected yesterday! I apologize for my behavior yesterday!

She stepped aside and let him in. He got in and locked the doors and windows of her chamber. Nandini was very surprised. She did not understand why he was doing all this. But she kept quiet. Moreover, she was confused how he got to know the signal she and Helena had agreed upon. Something just did not seem right!

Chandra: You must be wondering what happened to Helena. Didn't you? Well let me tell you that she will not come.

Nandini: What? (Her eyes opening wide in surprise and later transforming into an expression of fear followed by horror. She broke into a cold sweat.) What did you do to her? Just because she tried to help me, you...

Chandra: Thank your stars that I am not your father! She is nazarband for a few days. It will hopefully teach her not to overeach herself. So there goes your last hope out of the window.

Nandini: Why are you doing all this to me?

Chandra: I was pretty clear in my reasoning to you, or should I repeat all my reasons again?

Nandini collapsed wherever she was crying, " Why don't you let me go? I don't want to stay with you!

Chandra: I am afraid that will be impossible for the present! You will have to put up with this curtailment. The next time you plan a stunt like this, I would advise you to keep all the doors and windows of your chamber closed, dismiss all your maids from your chamber, and speak in ultra low voices. Our spy network is actually better than what you or Helena give credit for.

If I were you, I wouldn't try this again! Nandini you are being continually watched. Don't force me to be crueler than I already am! Though I have the ability to be cold and brutal in getting my things done, you would be the last person I would willingly like to be like that. But it also implies that you shouldn't test my patience and endurance too much. I must wish you a very good morning!

Chandra remained in her room after this verbal exchange for a few more minutes. Neither did he speak nor did she. But their eyes expressed their unnamed fears and questions and gave their answers too. They communicated in silent communion. They were lost in a world in which just the two of them existed both for reasons good and bad.

She: Why? What's the problem if I just go away? You're scaring and intimidating me! Can't it be otherwise?

He: I know I am being wicked to you! But it can't be otherwise because I cannot see you going away from me. I will retain you with me at whatever the cost!

Both of them suddenly came out of the bubble in which they were lost and Chandragupt majestically strode out of the room leaving Nandini to cry her heart out. Now even her last hope had deserted her. She was stuck at a place she didn't want to be and in a marriage where there was no love or trust lost.




Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Fifteen: The Puppet and her Puppet Master

The next day in the court, a group of wandering puppeteers sought audience from Maharaj Chandragupt to exhibit their art and talent in the court. Nandini and Helena were conspicuous by their absence in the restricted area for the Royal women.

Helena was Nazarband for a few days as a punishment for her indiscretion in trying to get Nandini out of her way by getting her to escape from the palace of Patliputra. Nandini, though not under any such restriction, had still cited some minor indisposition in being unable to attend the court proceedings. He knew the real reason for her inability to attend. But he just let it pass.

It would take some time for Nandini to come around. The puppeteers had finished their performance and were amply rewarded for it. Before taking leave, one of the performers had reminisced how Nandini had enjoyed their performance the previous time they came when Maharaj Padmanand was still in power, and how she had asked them to keep coming every year in order to entertain her.

On hearing this, Chandragupt asked them if they would perform in private again for Nandini in her chamber as she had missed out on their performance and that they would be handsomely rewarded for it too. The puppeteers agreed to it and said that it would be their pleasure to perform in private for Rani Nandini.

Chandra thought to himself, "She will like this! It will make her smile again!"

Nandini was not aware of any of these happenings. When they came to her chamber for the performance, she assumed that they had come here remembering her request the previous time they came to perform. Nandini enjoyed the performance a lot.

The witty remarks and the clever story line caught her imagination. Her eyes had a brilliant glow and her cheeks were constantly dimpled by the smile which started playing on her face. By the time the performance was over, she clapped in excitement and exclaimed that they had come at a very good time and brightened up her entire mood.

Chandra had been observing everything from afar. He was happy to see her smiling again and looking very very happy. One of the performers told her that her thanks were actually misplaced and that Maharaj Chandragupt had specially organized this performance for her sake as she had missed their original performance in the court today.

Nandini's expression instantly changed after learning of this. Chandragupt too came there and handsomely rewarded the artistes for their talent and hardwork. She simply contented herself by exclaiming to them, "Maharaj Chandragupt himself is an adept performer in this art. Unhe Katputliyon ko nachane main bahut prasannatha milthi hai! (He loves making puppets dance to his tunes)"

The puppeteers gave admiring nods at this revelation and left all in smiles, while Chandragupt who did not want to create a scene before them, just kept quiet till they left, before he shut the door of her chamber and turned towards Nandini and said, "What was all that? I organized this entire programme for your sake because I was told that you enjoyed this particular art form a lot. And you keep making such stupid, throwaway remarks?"

Nandini: Please excuse me if I have been rude towards a Mahaan Samrat like you! I should have known that puppets cannot afford to question their puppeteer. So for the next time, will my puppeteer instruct me on how I have to dance to his tunes?

Chandra: Why are you making such a fuss out of a simple thing?

Nandini: I know it must be such a simple thing for a great personality like Mahaan Samrat Chandragupt. But it is a very big thing for a simple girl like me to learn that my marriage was not a marriage in a true sense and that there was nothing in a relationship that was supposed to be the culmination of my entire life.

Chandra: Don't get started on that love and marriage topic. Some purposes are greater than thousands of lives. Akhand Bharat Nirman is one such goal. I know I wronged you but I do not regret it in the very least. Even if you are going to hate me or dislike me for it, I wouldn't mind it. One should be ready to sacrifice one's life for such an ideal.

Nandini: You may rest assured Maharaj that I did sacrifice my life at its altar a couple of nights ago. Something within me just snapped and died. I cannot bring back anything of what existed between us before that. And let me assure you, I don't hate or dislike you for it. I feel nothing at all for you now. I feel a complete emptiness and apathy for you. You just do not exist for me. You are as much as this wall here or that window there for me.

This statement hit Chandra at some deeper level. It roused him to a raging fury. Nandini had this ability to bring both the best and the worst out of him. This refusal on her part to accept his very existence in her life and being equated to lifeless inanimate things made him violent.

Chandra staggered back and exclaimed in shock, "What? You feel nothing at all for me? Not even hate?"

Nandini replied, "Yes!"

He started ominously advancing towards her step by step as he reiterated again, "You feel nothing? All that empathy, care and affection with which you showered means nothing at all to you now? Can one small hidden truth change all that?"

She literally quailed at his sight. She had perhaps stoked off a raging forest flame by her behavior. However, she too was Nandini; and would not back down from her stance whether Chandragupt liked it or not. She was perfectly right doing whatever she was. She started walking backwards away from him step by step.

She wasn't a stringed instrument that he could play melodies whenever that suited him, hit discordant notes when that suited him, and simply break her heart strings when that suited him, and then expect that she would forget the broken strings and simply permit him to reassemble her heart strings when that suited him, and behave at the end of this as if nothing at all had actually happened.

Human memory was such a strange thing. He had perhaps hurt her only for a couple of minutes, but its memories kept on hurting her minute after minute, second after second. It even destroyed all the pleasing and pleasant memories of the time she had spent with him. Now all those shared memories felt poisonous to her.

She replied, "Yes, I feel nothing! Things have changed between us, Maharaj!"

"There comes that damned word, again! You know how much I hate it when I listen to it from your mouth for me, and still you use it as if there is no other word in your dictionary or vocabulary!" said a raging Chandragupt who was in headlong fury. There was a small side table in his path between him and Nandini. In his wild state, he simply lifted and flung it to the other side of the room where it lay in a pretty apologetic state with two of its legs broken and tottering to and fro making creaking noises.

Nandini, scared out of her wits by this display of anger and passion, her voice almost stuck in her throat in fear, ventured in a very meek and sqweaky tone, carefully avoiding the trigger word 'Maharaj' while speaking, "Yeh anuchit vyavahar hai!" (This is inappropriate behavior!)

"Uchit anuchit ki bath math karo Nandini! Tumne apne vyavahar seh mujhe mere Raudra roop main aane par vivash kiya!" (You don't talk about appropriate and inappropriate behavior, Nandini. You forced me to come into my 'Raudra roop' with your behavior) as Chandragupt flared up in anger. He was like a river in spate during the floods, whose banks had been breached, and whose waters are flowing uncontrollably, destroying everything in its path. Nandini had never seen this furious and dangerous side of him. She had seen him only in his mild, courteous and chivalric avatar.

Even the last bit of fight or resistance from Nandini's side died up in the very beginning itself when she glanced at his terrifying and awe inspiring state. She just wanted to be anywhere else on this planet except this locked chamber with this mountain of a man literally breathing fire on her with his livid glance.

Nandini's eyes started filling up with tears, "I did not do anything to merit this kind of treatment from you. I was not acting against you. I was just speaking about my own feelings."

Chandragupt bellowed down at her, "Perhaps not from your point of view. But you certainly are in my point of view. When you look at me with your big and reproachful eyes as if I had committed some great sin in doing what I did as a part of my line of duty, you certainly are acting against me. When you shut and cocoon yourself out of my reach as if I was some disgusting, slimy and slothful being or beast you want to shake off yourself, it hurts (Hitting his breast and pointing towards it) it hurts here and it hurts very badly. I forget myself and what I am doing!"

Nandini: I am sorry if I have hurt you. I can't help feeling...

Chandra: I will complete the sentence for you. 'Like that for me?'

Nandini: Not exactly! I mean...

Chandra: Why did you run behind me showering all that care and empathy if you were going to leave me in the lurch midway through the journey? Why did you make me learn to smile, laugh, cry, live my life fully and show me all those blissful visions of a togetherness and companionship we could have had and then condemn me to this dreadful existence?

Nandini in between her sobs: I did not do anything. I did not mean to...

Chandra: Those moments and memories of our time together were some of the most beautiful in my life. You intend to snatch them away from me?

Nandini (In a trembling tone): When ...did...I...snatch anything ...from you? ...You were the one ...who snatched...everything...from me...

Chandra (Clicking his tongue in a sarcastic manner): That must be the reason why you thought you would avenge yourself against me. You first ingratiated yourself with me, then created all those beautiful moments and memories. And now, when I have got used to them, you are suddenly snatching them away from me as if they mean nothing to you. You wanted to avenge yourself against me for everything, and so have you done!

He clapped his hands derisively and said, "Excellent job, Nandini! You've taken your revenge, haven't you?"

Nandini in utter disbelief, "How can you? Me and acting? You were the one who always meant something and did something else. But I am done with all this. Think as you please about me. If painting me pitch black gives you satisfaction, then go ahead. I cannot change it. I am powerless. I am just a puppet in your hands. I am not supposed to question. I am not supposed to be angry. I am not supposed to have views and feelings independent from my all supreme puppet master, Maharaj Chandragupt.

More specifically, I am not supposed to feel. And that's what I am doing. I have stopped feeling anything for you. It was difficult initially. I am used to listening to my heart over my brain. But I learnt to do it the difficult way. You too will learn to do this. And I bet you will make a much better job of this than me because you always listen to your brain. Ignoring your heart would be the work of a second for you!


Chapter Sixteen: Jinxed Boundaries

Chandra's anger, which had a temporary respite during that round of sarcastic and caustic comments he addressed Nandini with, started building up when she retaliated almost as viciously, putting the ball back in his court. Both of them were talking at cross purposes. Neither was ready to see sense, backdown or relent. They were hell- bent on hurting the other with their taunting words for all their emotional hurts. They were hurting and they ended up hurting each other.

Chandra: You think just because I listen to my brain over my heart, I literally don't have a heart and am soulless?

Nandini: No, I didn't mean that...

Chandra: What does meaning have to do with anything? You did not mean anything and yet you hurt me! You saw, heard and understood everything that I meant through my words but did not see that in my eyes for you beyond my words and actions?

Nandini: This discussion is not going anywhere! Let's leave it here!

Chandra: No! Let's finish this argument once and for all, NOW AND HERE!

Nandini's eyes had started filling up with tears once again. Was love really so dreadful and hurtful? If she had known this she would never have fancied about it in her life. She would never have gotten herself entangled with the concept of love. She just quailed in between her tears and sobs, "Please just let me be! Please..."

Chandra (in an irritated tone): Stop those dratted tears, Nandini! One small argument and the Ganga Yamuna starts flowing from your eyes. We will stop this argument once and for all just as you had wanted. Just tell me you feel for me and understand me! Just tell me that you too reciprocate everything. This one assurance is enough for me. Say that you feel...

Nandini had withdrawn to a corner gathering herself around her while remaining studiedly and studiously quite and silent. His voice, though it started very softly and mildly, steadily rose in volume until it reached its crescendo. He hovered over her thundering, "Nandini, I am speaking to you. For God's sake, speak up! I am you husband! However it happened or whatever the reasons behind this marriage, I am; and that is the ultimate truth."

Nandini: But you yourself said that this marriage has no meaning for you and that you were acting a part to achieve something else. I just took whatever you said implicitly.

Chandra: Yes, and that was the truth too, at least initially! But I did not ask you to stop feeling for me and shut yourself off from me.

Nandini: I am really sorry. I can't say that I feel what I really don't!

Chandra: SO YOU FEEL NOTHING?

Nandini: YES, I FEEL NOTHING!

Chandra (after a slow and deep pause): IS EVERYTHING BETWEEN US OVER?

Nandini: YES, EVERYTHING!

Chandra: Even after I laid bare myself and my heart before you like AN OPEN BOOK, you still feel NOTHING?

Nandini: YES, NOTHING!

Chandra: NOTHING between us will EVER get back to what it ORIGINALLY was?

Nandini: NOTHING!

Chandra wouldn't have given way to such a raw and violent expression of his all consuming passion for Nandini in any other circumstances. It had reached a point of insanity and madness. Nandini had pushed him to the edge of his own personal precipice.

He had only one option before him; and that was to fall freely and fall very low! And that was what he did! He had tried logical arguments, reasoning, to some extent frightening her into acceptance and quelling her resistance. Now he was going to try seduction too for all that was worth it. He crossed his personal physical boundaries and hers in a wild attempt to make her acknowledge that he still existed in her world.

He was a very handsome man and he knew it. Women swooned over him. They longed for a single glance from him. But he never paid any of them the slightest bit of attention. But that did not mean that he was unaware of his physical and seductive charms. If not this way then that!

He was her husband and had all rights over her just as she had them over him. It was another thing that he never ever insisted on his marital rights being fulfilled by her. He had wanted to give her that space to grant him those rights over her voluntarily. She was the first woman he had desired so ardently and passionately. But today was a different day. He was determined to make Nandini react to him.

A sly and cunning glint came into Chandra's eyes. He gave a sarcastic and icy smirk as he said, "Do you still consider me as your husband or not?"

Nandini: Whatever my personal issues with you, I still do consider you my husband.

Chandra: In that case you must regard yourself duty bound to follow all the codes of conduct of a dutiful wife, don't you?

Nandini:Much as I regret the development, I am bound to follow them! That is what I was taught since I was very young. Old habits die hard. Now it is too late for me to unlearn what I have learnt till now!

Chandra: So in that case you wouldn't mind fulfilling your wifely duties and satisfying me?

Nandini: But...you ...never ...insisted...before...this

Chandra: I never insisted before because I never felt the need for it. But now I do! Are you going to deny me my rights?

Nandini (caught in her own web of arguments): I never...thought...you ...would...insist...I...am...not...ready

Chandra: Aren't you going to fulfill your conjugal duties and satisfy me?

Nandini let out a slight gasp of terror as she very mildly said beneath her own voice in an apparently breathless tone, "Yes...but...no...what...are ...you ...going ...to ...do?"

Chandra in a curious tone, "Don't you? Every wife knows what her husband is going to do to her!"

Nandini tried to lunge out of the corner in which she was crouching with Chandra looming over her. She just wanted to get out of that constrained space. This actually gave a hint and acted as a trigger to Chandragupt who pushed her against the wall.

He held her hands tightly to the wall as he closed in on her breathing hot air down her throat. Both their Adam's apples kept going up and down in succession, one after the other. Their bodies fitted together perfectly like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. It seemed as though one completed the other, and without the other, both of them seemed as though they were incomplete and unfinished.

The Duppatta which she was wearing over her head came off and fell to the ground unattended. Nandini turned slightly to catch a glimpse of where it had fallen. Chandra too followed her line of vision. She soon recovered her composure and tried freeing herself from wherever she was but in vain. He undid her bun of hair which fell in long tresses all over her back.

He carefully brushed aside her hair from her back as he suddenly came close to her right ear and seductively whispered, "You don't feel anything for me?"

Nandini firmly said, "No!"

His cheeks were almost touching Nandini's. A slight hint of wetness stuck his cheeks. He looked up and saw that his tight grasp was hurting Nandini and there were red and swollen patches where he had been holding her. One of the glass bangles she was wearing had broken in the scuffle and had pricked her skin and caused her a cut from where a single drop of blood had oozed out. He instantaneously relaxed his hold on her. Chandra started removing all her bangles one by one so that they would not hurt her. She felt like she had goosebumps all over her body every time Chandra touched her hand to remove the bangles.

Nandini took advantage of the relaxed hold and freed herself from his grasp and rushed ahead in front only to be pulled back to him by enveloping her from the back in his embrace and holding her waist firmly in his grasp. He traced hot lines of desire with his fingers on her shoulders and back.

Nandini winced and whimpered from all this intimacy and proximity. But at a subconscious level she seemed to be drowning in it. It was not that she did not or had never wanted to be close to her husband, to feel him and to be felt by him. But at the present moment, her thoughts and emotions were very far from this point. She just did not feel equal to this. She did not want this now.

Why wasn't Chandra understanding her? Why was he so hell bent on making her do something she didn't want to do? Did being her husband give him the rights to treat her like this? Wasn't she entitled to her own space first before she was her husband's? How dare he invade into her space? But...but...she was powerless! Yes, she was powerless in his grasp!

Both Chandra and Nandini looked like the heavenly, fragile, playful, fickle, and crystal pure Ganga who had in her power, the redemption and ultimate salvation of the sixty-thousand souls of King Sagara's sons, doomed forever in the abyss of time and Hell; entrapped, enmeshed and bound in the matted tresses and locks of Lord Shiva's hair, with no visible and no possible escape route from it; and apparently destined to remain like that for an eternity with him.

Ganga jostled, chaffed and became impatient under this restriction imposed on her freedom, her movements and her flow. But it was beyond any earthly mortal's, Divine Power's or even Ganga's power herself to get her released from this captivity unless Lord Shiva himself wanted to and willed it. And so was Nandini's state encompassed in Chandra's arms. She too had no hope of escape until Chandra himself willed it and was ready to let her go.

Nandini started heaving and gasping for breath under his tight and almost suffocating hold which literally smothered her breath. He unclasped the waist band she was wearing with a slight flick of his hand and threw it to one side. He pulled her very close to him and whispered in her ear, "Don't you feel anything even now?"

Nandini's sobs had multiplied by now along with a tinge of anger lacing her words, "Just let me go. It just hurts and pains. I feel nothing else."

Chandra was getting more and more frantic and frustrated with every passing moment. He turned Nandini towards him and swooped down and kissed her cheeks and forehead. She shivered in his grasp like a lifeless rag doll. He endearingly asked her, "Not even now?"

She said with a tone of finality, "No, I don't feel anything of what I am supposed to feel. It scares me, it hurts me. Please let this end! I have no more strength or will power to resist."

On these words, Chandra suddenly released her from his hold. Her hair was disheveled and the kohl with which she had lined her eyes had strained away forming lines and patches on her cheeks due to her incessant crying. She stutteringly and totteringly walked to her bed as she was afraid that she was going to slip and fall down. She sat on it shivering all the while, and dragging all her garments closer and closer to herself to close even those exposed portions of her body that were visible. All this while there was an expression of disbelief and disenchantment on her face of whether it was the same Chandra whom she had known all along who had behaved so badly with her.

All his hopes were dashed to the ground. She did not even flinch when he came near her. He felt as if she had become complete stone and marble to him. He had seen all the wrong emotions in her eyes for him. He saw fear, pain, hurt, and disillusionment for him; but not the love, care, affection and passion he had wanted to see.

All this while, Chandra had never touched Nandini. But he always felt very close to her. But today, even when there wasn't a gap of half an inch separating both of them, he had never felt farther from her.

Chandra could not bear when he saw her present state. It tormented his conscience even more to think that he was responsible for this condition of hers. Chandra lowered his gaze from Nandini's blistering gaze and eyes. He was full of guilt. He had fallen in his own eyes. What had he done to the only woman whom he had truly started liking, grown fond of, and perhaps desired in the truest sense of the word?

He had lost her forever! He could possess her if he had wanted to but he would never be able to win her. What had begun as an attempt to bring her out of her cocoon and make her start feeling and responding towards him again had gone terribly wrong and astray.Could he ever bring back the Nandini he had known again?

Chandra collapsed on his knees and broke down crying, "How will I live without you Nandini? How will I? Should you punish me so badly by shutting my very existence from your world? Don't I too deserve some happiness and a companion with whom I empathize and who empathizes with me? Don't I too deserve a second chance?"

Nandini with her back turned towards him, but trying to keep her voice as normal and as soothing as possible, "Please don't make things difficult for you and me, Maharaj! I feel bad when I see you in so much pain. But at present, I am hurting terribly myself. I'm not in a position to offer anybody comfort or solace. Not even you! Just leave me alone, Maharaj!"

Chandra in an utterly defeated and broken tone spoke, "You wanted to go away didn't you? Just give both of us some time. At the end of this, if you still want to go away, I won't stop you."

Nandini with her back still turned towards Chandra, "Who decides the time frame for this? You or me?"

Chandra: You decide; it will be acceptable to me!

Nandini: It is three months since we got married. Let's remain together for three more months. If at the end of it, I want to go away from you, you will not stop me.

Chandra: No, I won't stop you if you want to go. But you will give this time the fullest opportunity. Do I have that assurance?

Nandini after a great deal of thought and consideration: Yes!

Chandra, before he left Nandini's chamber, gave this parting remark in a forgone, spent out and despondent tone to Nandini, "Jeevan main Imarti sirf gol gol aur meetha hi nahin hota, namkeen, mirchi aur kadvi bhi hoti hai, aur kahin baar theedi! Ithni moh sirf gol aur meethi cheezon par math laga lena. Manusya aur jeevan uske bhin bhi hosakte hain ya yeh sab kuch hosakte hain!" (In real life 'Imarti' is just not round and round and saccharinely sweet; it is salty, spicy, and bitter, and several times twisted! Don't cultivate such an addiction only for the round and sweet things! People and life could be radically different from them, or they could just be a combination of all these tastes and shapes!)

Only love has the power to hurt a person as nothing else has when it is unrequited. And sometimes all the love in the world too isn't enough to bridge the gap caused due to lack of trust and a brazen breach of faith. Love without faith or trust proves to be even more unsatisfactory or hurtful than no love at all or pure hatred. We get more hurt by those whom we consider our own than by our enemies or complete strangers. There was a mountain of misunderstandings and issues to be overcome on both sides.

Similarly, only love has the power to heal a person out of all their hurts and disappointments. What remains to be seen is whether Chandra's love for Nandini was strong enough to heal both their hurts and reignite the embers of the fire of love that had died down between both of them.


Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
Chapter Seventeen: The Breaking Point

Chandragupt was externally very strong and insurmountable. But he was very soft and vulnerable internally. His altercation with Nandini had left him emotionally drained from within. At this point, it really did not matter who had the upper hand or who had the lower hand. He had reached his breaking point. That he was regarded as being unworthy of notice in the eyes of a person who begun becoming very important to him of late was a literal torture to him.

When he was in this emotional turmoil, his old friend, his alter-ego made a reappearance.

Alter-ego: Bahut bura hua! (Whatever happened was terrible!)

Chandra: Jantha hoon! Mera sab kuch loot gaya! Ab kuch nahin hosakta! (I know it! I lost my everything! Nothing can be done now!)

Alter-ego: Sab kuch nahin mitra! Tere paas teen mah hain use phir seh pane ke liye! (Not everything, friend! You still have three months time to win her back!)

Chandra (shook his head in despondent manner): Nahin main teen mah ke baad use hamesha ke liye khone wala hoon. Kuch nahin hosakta mitra!Kuch nahin! (No, after three months I am going to lose her forever. Nothing can be done now, friend! Nothing!)

After this pronouncement from Chandra, his alter-ego faded away into the darkness. Chandra in utter despair, "Ab tum bhi mujhe akela chodkar chale gaye! Jao! Mujhe koi bhi nahin chahiye!" (You too left me all alone and went away! Go! I don't need anybody!)

Though the moments had been very few and of very recent origin, Nandini had made him fall in love with himself and experience peace and bliss with his own self and his life. True, she had left him conflicted and in terrible angst, but she had also taught him to smile and laugh. But what did he give her in return for all the smiles and laughs? To think that he had given her instead a living hell and a walking death left him very bitter and forlorn.

Chandra felt that small five year old boy being flogged by his foster father again with no visible door of hope or succor. He was going to have an Acharya Chanakya in his life later on. But at the point when he was being flogged by his foster father, he saw and envisioned only a lifetime of floggings ahead of him, and nothing special or extraordinary.

Similarly, he now had Nandini in his life. She was really special for him. But by the looks of it, it looked as though he was all destined to lose her in three months time. What was going to improve or even change the way she would be thinking about him. The chances for this appeared nil.

What had he even been thinking when he had been intimidating and almost forcing her like that? At that moment, it had all appeared right! It was almost as through he had switched off his brain and thinking capacities when he was going on with Nandini like that in her chamber. Now it all appeared utterly wrong.

He had led his life meeting other's expectations from him, Acharya Chanakya's, his foster mother's, his mother Moora's hopes on him, the expectations of his comrades from him, and in many cases, meeting his own expectations from himself and continually surpassing his own benchmark of excellence. Nobody had let him just be, neither did he let himself be.

Life was a perpetual race and he had kept on running till now. Just when he had wanted to stand and remain where he was, basking in the attentions and care of a person who soothed him with her presence, he had lost that too. He felt that he must have been accursed to lead a loveless existence for some grievous sins and offenses he must have committed in his previous life. That's why happiness always seemed to elude and run away from him.

Just when he thought that it was within his grasp, it slipped through his grasp like sand in between his closed and balled fists. Was he destined to always be alone? Wasn't he too eligible for a companion whom he sought? Of what use was all this power and consequence to him if it could not buy his own happiness and that of those whom he cared for? He was disintegrating from within. He had reached the maximum limit of his pain threshold.

Chandra was in the Royal Udhyanvan. He had always led a very disciplined life. Since childhood, he had witnessed his foster father beat his foster mother and himself during his drunken fits. So since childhood, he had regarded alcohol as a very depraved thing which reduced a human being to his basest level.

But today, he found himself seeking alcohol to forget Nandini and started drowning himself in it. He wanted to sink into perfect oblivion and forget everything. But to his great consternation, the vision of her numb, pale and marble visage swam before his view after ever single glass he drank. Acharya Chanakya who had observed him in this mental and emotional turmoil, tried to make him stop and console him.

Chanakya: Chandra, tum? Is stithi main? Chodo yeh sab aur andar chalo! (Chandra, you? In this state? Leave all this and come inside!)
Witnessing his dear star student whom he regarded with a paternal and fatherly affection in this state, Chanakya forgot about all protocols and decorum due to the king of the state while addressing him in the third person, just like he used to do when Chandra was just his student at Takshashila and not the Samrat of Magadh.

Chandra (not forgetting his humble demeanor even in his disorganized state): Apni peeda door karne ki prayathna kar raha tha! Par kuch bhi kaam nahin kar raha hai! (I was trying to get rid of my pain. But nothing seems to be working.)

Chanakya: Mera Chandra jisne pure Bharat ki raksha ki aur Matrubhoomi ka udhdhaar kiya, ithni saraltha seh nahin toot saktha! (My Chandra who protected the whole of Bharat and worked for the upliftment of his Matrubhoomi, he cannot breakdown so easily.)

Chandra: Mujhe bhi aise hi lagtha tha. Par ab main samaj chuka ki main galat tha! Kya karoon, Acharya; main Khoon aur Maas ka bana hoon hai na, lohe aur dhathu ka nahin; Is liye bahut peedha hoti hai! (I too felt the same. But now I have realized that I was wrong. What to do Acharya? I am made of flesh and blood, not of iron and metal. That's why it is so painful!)

Chanakya: Putra koi rog tumhe satha raha hai kya? Main abhi Raj Vaid ko bhulaunga aur woh tumhari upchar sheegra karenge! (Son, are you suffering from some ailment? I will call the Royal Physician and he will treat you immediately!)

Chandra: Acharya, yeh aisa rog aur peedha hai jiska koi nivaran ya upchar nahin hai. Mujhe yeh dard sweekaarna hoga aur jeevan bhar iske saath jeene ki aadath dalna hoga! Agnya deh, Acharya! (Acharya this is a disease and a pain that has no solution or medicine. I have to learn to accept this pain and learn to live with this throughout my life. Please give me permission to leave, Acharya!)

As his dearest pupil staggered from there in this sorry state, Chanakya's heart went out to him and his suffering. He tried to help him and lead him to his room. But Chandra refused telling, "Acharya, aap kasht mat utayiye! Main akele apne aap ko samal lunga. Waise bhi mujhe akele rehne ki aadath dalna padega!" (Acharya, please don't trouble yourself! I will take care of myself all alone. Anyways I have to learn to live all alone!)

Chanakya did not argue with Chandra on this point. He just let it pass. Chandra was not in a state to discuss or understand anything. He would speak to him tomorrow and get to the root of this problem. He would try to clarify if his surmise of what was troubling his dear student was the real issue or not tomorrow.

In Nandini's chamber,

Nandini was trying her best to sleep and forget everything that had happened between her and Chandra a short while ago. She never expected him to behave in that volcanic fashion. It really did not make sense to her even now. Did he really try to molest her? And why?

She would never be able to forgive him or forget this incident ever in her life. She could perhaps understand a man like Malayketu or her father behaving with a woman like that! But Chandra? What had she even done to make him behave like that? The entire sequence of events appeared insane and beyond comprehension even now.

A slight niggling doubt began troubling her mind now. Was Chandra really so much in love with her despite everything he spoke and behaved to the contrary? But she immediately mentally slapped herself for thinking and reading too much. The whole scene had been so unnerving even when she thought about it now.

What she had seen in his eyes for her was surely not love; neither was it pure friendship or companionship; nor was it pure lust or desire for her, because if it was, he would have never let her go! He would never have agreed to the three months condition. It was something all consuming, all engulphing and frightening too.

What was it he had wanted out of her? It appeared very complex, complicated and knotted. Was she really capable of unraveling this juggernaut? Did she really have it in her to quench that inexorable thirst or longing? She was literally going to vaporize and lose her identity if she was going to attempt it.

And why should she do this for someone who had entrapped her into a loveless marriage for his own ulterior motives? Of course, he had many others in his life like Rajmata Moora, Acharya Chanakya, his sister Chaaya, and his childhood friend Durdhara to take care of him. How would it really matter if he had one person less in this long list? She was going to think about herself from now on. She was not going to meddle with things and people who were of no concern to her.

Chapter Eighteen: Wading through the Maze


The next morning,


Chanakya met Chandra as he was on his way to the court. He casually asked Chandra without trying to be too interfering in his personal matters, "I hope you had a good night's sleep last night!"


Chandra, in a cool and collected tone, without batting a single eyelid, "Very well, Acharya!"


Chandra had a hazy recollection of having met his Acharya in quite a sorry state in the Royal Udhyanvan. He was dreading his Acharya's questions and what he would say in reply to it. He had made quite a fool of himself. His Acharya ought to have been livid with him for this. But he was not! He just appeared plainly disturbed and perplexed about what the matter was.


Chanakya: That appears quite strange then because there are such large dark circles beneath your eyes, Putra!


Chandra: Actually, it was not a full night's sleep! It was a power nap! I was busy the whole night...


Chanakya: I had the opportunity to observe how busy you happened to be in the Royal Udhyanvan. I was just at a loss to understand why it was so


Chandra, by this time highly abashed and suitably chastened, "Acharya, you aren't angry with me? I have let you down, haven't I?"


Chanakya: Putra, you know you can trust and confide in me. More than anger, what I felt when I saw you in that state was disappointment, disappointment that my star student just could not get a grip over himself, and was making a groveling spectacle of himself and his grief. We have been together for the past twelve years. What is troubling you?


Chandra: Nothing much, Acharya! I just got carried away. I shouldn't have been so weak! I have failed you and your teachings!


Chanakya: Leave me, Putra! Where have you failed yourself?


Chandra: I wouldn't like to trouble you with the problems in my personal life. I will sort them out myself.


Chanakya: There are times when I have felt that I was placing responsibility beyond your years on your young and tender shoulders. But you have shouldered, soldiered, managed this huge burden impeccably from the age of eight till now when you are into your twentieth year. You have always been my pride; the child prodigy whom I discovered, unearthed, and polished from a rough, uncut stone to a brilliant and sparkling diamond. Putra, if there is something in your personal life that is troubling you, and you would like to share it with me, I am always there for you. You needn't face it all alone. We were a team, are a team, and will always remain a team.


Chandra: I knew I would always find you beside me in my time of need. Thank you, Acharya! The very fact that you care so much about me, means a lot to me. This issue isn't really worth your time or attention.


Chanakya let it go at that. Perhaps his student was a bit reluctant to discuss his personal issues with him. The more he was going to question him, the more Chandra was going to evade him. If his student was not going to confide in him or seek him out, he had to discover what was troubling his student using alternative means.


Chanakya was by now sure that the reason for Chandra's unhappiness was his personal life. He decided that he was going to closely watch all of Chandra's activities. This would perhaps give him a clue of what was troubling his student in his personal life that seemed to be leaving its impact on his public life too.


The day proceeded like any other day. Chandragupt came to the court, heard the people's issues, listened to what his ministers had to advice, took his decisions as usual. There was nothing amiss in all this. Just when he thought, he was getting no clue or insight into his mind, he saw Chandra's glance which had wandered for a tiny split second to the Secluded Arena of the Royal Court that was reserved for the ladies of the royal family.


None of the other ladies ever came and sat there and took part in the discussions or debates which took place below, except Helena and Nandini. They were not so knowledgeable or educated enough to contribute something of their own to any of the court proceedings. Most of them felt out of place here. They mainly came whenever there were functions or important visitors to the court. This day, the entire Arena was empty.


Of course, since Helena had been Nazarband for her indiscretion in trying to spirit away Nandini from the Patliputra Palace, it was impossible that she would be here. Why Nandini had been absent from the court, he too was at a loss to understand because she had been a regular in attending the court proceedings. What had prevented her from coming? Whose absence was troubling Chandra? Was it Helena's or Nandini's? By now, Chanakya was sure that it was the absence of one of the two that was affecting Chandra.


He was neither unhappy nor insecure about this. He knew that he was and would always be important in his student Chandra's life. But each stage of life and its responsibilities are different. His student was no longer a Brahmachari. And there comes a stage in every man's life when he needs the love, care, affection, trust, and faith of a woman who is his equal in every respect.


His student was a Grihastha now. He was married to three different ladies, and none of them had been because he had wanted them, but because, he, his guru, Chanakya had insisted it from him in the best interests of Magadh and Bharat. Managing one wife was a difficult task, and here his student had three. So their petty squabbles and internal dissensions could be a cause for worry. It could possibly be irritating, but was it so powerful that it had reduced his student to the state he had observed the previous night? He did not think so.


Chanakya decided to keep on observing and keeping his eyes and ears open before jumping to any conclusions. He continued observing Chandra's behavior unobtrusively from the sidelines as the court proceedings continued. He was the one who had taught his student to listen to the brain over the heart. His student was doing the same thing now. He was the one who had taught him to hide his true feelings and emotions under the argument that they were mainly chinks in one's armor and weakened a person.


So the end result, his student never expressed or felt like expressing or sharing with him what he was feeling at an emotional plane. He had built tall walls around himself and completely isolated himself from everyone. Chandra was not at all willing to open up or reach out to him even when he wanted to help him out. He just wished he hadn't been so emotionless and mechanical with Chandra since his childhood. He was just not willing to trust his emotions or feelings with him as he would his thoughts, his strategies, his war plans, his state policies. He assumed that this would not have been so with his wives. There must have been at least one to whom he must have trusted himself and revealed his true self, somebody with whom he would have been just himself!


Was Helena a cause of worry for Chandra? Might be! This lady had an overbearing, and meddlesome nature. She was narcissistic, selfish, egoistic, and self-centered. She could never see beyond herself or her own petty concerns. Even recently, she had been the reason why the security protocol had been relaxed in the first place during the assassination attempt on Chandra during the Theej festivities. This was what the investigation and inquiry about the whole incident had revealed.


He had promptly informed it to Chandra who dismissed it under the assumption that this mistake might not have been intentional on Helena's part and could have been an error of judgment. Then came the even bigger mistake. She had tried to take advantage of differences of opinion between Chandra and Nandini, and tried to convince and insinuate Nandini into leaving the Palace and going away from there.


When this had been informed to Chandra, he ordered her to be Nazarband for a week. All the same, Helena was very efficient and cared for Chandra in her own way. So he could have been emotionally attached to her and missing her presence in his life. But if this had been so, Chandra would not have ordered her to be punished for her indiscretion in the first place. He could have pardoned her if he had wanted to. But he did not which showed that Helena was not the reason for Chandra's grief.


Durdhara was Chandra's childhood friend. Both of them understood each other very well. Though she could occasionally be childish and a bit thoughtless in her manner and behavior, both she and Chandra gelled remarkably well. If there was one drawback in the entire thing, it was the fact that Durdhara did not have the emotional maturity or rational thinking Chandra would have preferred in his wife.


They had played together and grew up together as children. But as adults both of them had grown up and transformed into something very different from their childhood. Their apparent disconnect in many matters was evident even to him. Chandra would hardly prefer sharing anything of himself with her, neither would she be able to understand or unravel his emotional complexities.


Moreover, as a queen, Durdhara's upbringing hardly equaled either Nandini's or Helena's. She could hardly be a support system to Chandra in the state affairs or administration. He would be forced to rely either on Helena or Nandini. Helena would always be in a disadvantageous position even if she had no obvious personal shortcomings.


Her being of Greek origin and having problems with the local language and customs would always come in her way as and when she took an active part in state affairs or administration. The ministers and thegeneral public would be more amenable and open to a Queen of Indian origin than a Queen of Greek origin. He admired Helena for a number of her admirable qualities. But along with them, she had very many undesirable qualities which made it difficult and impossible for her to be trusted with important key positions or administrative responsibilities.


So the future as he envisioned it, would always be Nandini supporting Chandra in state affairs and administrative duties. The two of them had such a bloody and troublesome history between them, that he had initially been very wary of this relationship. He had actually never expected anything good to come out of this marriage except as a means of nullifying and negating Padmanand.


Trusting Nand's daughter was always going to be a very tricky and difficult issue both for him and Chandra. Both of them had suffered in their own ways because of the father. For Chandra, tolerating even her presence in his life must have been a difficult thing given the fact that her father had killed his father, and imprisoned and tortured his mother Moora for years together.


The very fact that Chandra spent most of his life bereft of his original identity and no family of his own was due to Nand. So he was bound to transfer some of that hatred and lack of trust to his daughter as well. The only reason why he must have countenanced her must have been for him.


Similarly, she too had equal grounds for hating Chandra as he had killed all her brothers before her own eyes except Dhananand and her father. But ever since she had come to know the whole truth about the true character of Padmanand and her brothers, Nandini had given them and their cause up for good. She had won Chandra's and his faith and trust by her transparent actions and irreproachable behavior. She had proved where her faith and loyalties lay beyond all possible doubt. She had clear-cut notions of what was right and what was wrong, what was just and what was unjust.


Despite his hatred and vendetta for Nand and his sons, he would have only good words for his daughter. Her quiet knowledge and erudite wisdom at first astonished him. She was quite well-versed in politics, statecraft, economics, history, literature, and most of the common branches of learning. She was an avid reader and had a curiosity and thirst for acquisition of knowledge that was almost similar to Chandra's.


He felt happy that unexpectedly at least one of Chandra's wives was an even and equal match for him both in class, rank, ability and sensibility. It surprised him to casually observe how both Chandra and Nandini unconsciously and automatically thought alike on a number of issues. He found both of them to be in the same mental wavelength.


She would make a very able and good administrator in her own right. Apart from that, she had been trained in fighting and other warrior like pursuits. Much as he hated to admit, Nand had been a very good father and brought up his daughter in an exceptional manner. Nandini had recently started taking much interest in state affairs and speaking in the court about several administrative issues.


So he automatically assumed that the matters and issues between Chandra and Nandini must have been resolved. Just then, he was reminded of that conversation he had with Chandra where he had expressed that things had become a bit unpleasant after certain revelations between him and Nandini. These must most probably have been the news of her father and eldest brother being alive that had been hidden from her.


Chanakya continued watching and listening to everything that was happening in the court while all these thoughts kept on running in his mind in the background. If he had not been so carefully and deeply observing Chandra, he would have missed and not even registered the way in which Chandra's wandering glance fixed itself for a split second time on the empty chair in the ladies's Arena which was usually reserved for Nandini. He saw a real sense of longing and loss as he saw the empty chair before he resumed his mask of indifference.


By now, all his suspicions had been confirmed. He was sure by now that there must have been something really amiss between Chandra and Nandini. He decided to continue observing even more carefully before interfering in anything. Of course, Chandra had also told him that he would solve this matter on his own. So he ought to trust him.


The court had been adjourned. Chandra was walking on his way to his chamber. Chanakya's chamber also fell in the same path as Chandra's chamber. He had been held back a couple of minutes by one of the ministers who wanted to reconfirm certain decisions which had been taken in the court. So by the time he was returning to his room, Chanakya had the opportunity to observe something that would have entirely escaped his notice at other times.


Chandra was passing by Nandini's chamber which fell on the path to his chamber. As he was approaching this chamber, his pace drastically slowed down as though he just did not want to pass by this room. By the time he reached near the entrance of this chamber, he stood rooted to the spot indecisive of whether to go in or pass by. He fought the urge to get in and walked by in very slow and deliberate steps with an expression of unbearable pain, anxiety, angst, and loss written all over his face.


Chandra seemed to be fighting an inward battle with himself to make the expression go away from his face but in vain. It was etched on his face in the way his eyes glimmered and gleamed with unshed tears, in the lines of pain and worry thatshone even more clearly in his forehead in the form of deep, crinkled lines, and the scowl in his expression at his failure to control himself and his facial expressions even when he was trying his best to hide them.


Just when he thought that he had seen and heard everything he had to about Chandra and the problem that was troubling him, his luck seemed to get even better. Nandini had just been returning to her chamber from her mother, Avantika's chamber. The corridor had been secluded except for the three of them. And the other two were not even aware that he too was there at the fag-end of the very same corridor.


In the corridor, both of them stood wherever they were for what seemed ages together without speaking anything. Were they shocked? Were they happy? Were they sad? Were they angry? Were they confused? He could not make it out. Why didn't both of them just wish and greet each other as much as courtesy and general etiquette required, and pass their respective ways?


Nandini was the first to recover and make her move towards her chamber after giving a slight bow to Chandra just for the sake of appearances. Chandra spoke nothing at all this whole while. There was no visible emotion on his face. It was a deadpan expression that seemed to give away nothing. Just when she was about to re-enter her chamber, he looked this side and that hastily, before he began, "Am I forgiven?"


Nandini: Yes!


Chandra took a careful and cautious step forward towards her but she hesitantly and instantly stepped back. This action of hers decided what he was going to do. He turned to the other side trying hard to compose himself and his disturbed emotions which were freely visible by now on his face. He was making no attempt to hide them, and even if he was, he was making such a bad and shoddy job out of it.


They were easily and readily perceptive and visible to the person in front of him. She too did not seem to be untouched by the overflowing emotions she had glimpsed in the expressions of the person in front of her. Her eyes too started swimming and watering slightly in response though she was trying her best not to show it outside. Something was preventing her from reaching out and openly expressing her empathy for Chandra.


Nandini (with regret written all over her face and voice): I am sorry! I just did not want to hurt but...


Chandra, after a long, deep, and painful pause, straining every nerve in his body to express the contrary of what he was exactly feeling at that moment, "It's alright! I am fine! Don't reproach yourself. You are perfectly right from wherever you are coming from. It's just that..."


Nandini: It's just that...


Chandra: It's just that I had a very busy and tiresome day at court. I think I will feel better if I rest for some time.


Nandini: I think you should!


Chandra: Nandini, can you just...No!... Nothing important!


Nandini (hesitantly): Should I do something for you?


Chandra: No, nothing significant!


Both of them stood indecisively looking at each other, unsure about what to do next, when Nandini turned inside her chamber. Chandra turned his back and was about to leave, leaving his incomplete and unsatisfactory conversation incomplete. He was stopped in his tracks by her sweet voice calling out to him. What he had hoped from her was still unclear. But her purpose for stopping him was clear. She held out a few herbs in a small packet to him.


Nandini: These herbs when mixed in oil and massaged to the head give instant relief. I use them whenever I am tired and exhausted. I am sure that if you would instruct the Daasis, they would do it for their Maharaj. This remedy always works.


Chandra: But I would rather the Daasis didn't do it and YOU YOURSELF DID IT...Anyways! Thank you for the concern. It is consoling to think that YOU STILL CARE ENOUGH FOR ME...even after yesterday night.


Nandini: Yes...No...But...


Chandra: You needn't explain Nandini! I have understood! We rushed into everything the previous time. We will not repeat it this time. This time is ours. These three months are ours. I am willing to wait. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM WILLING TO WAIT FOR YOU MY WHOLE LIFETIME.


Nandini (her face a picture of guilt and excruciating anguish at having caused pain to him): But why? Even when you know it is hopeless?


Chandra: I don't know why! BUT IT IS SO! I STILL CANNOT GIVE UP HOPING! I COULD AS WELL GIVE UP BREATHING THEN.


By this time, Chanakya has understood the crux of the matter. To save any possible embarrassment if any of the two observed him, he ducked behind and took another path instead of this corridor to reach his chamber.


In Chanakya's chamber,


Chanakya was in his chamber in deep thought thinking about what he had observed about Chandra and what to do about it. Should he speak to Chandra or to Nandini or to both? Which would be more advisable? Or should he let the entire thing go without interfering. A young, newly married couple were bound to have their differences of opinion, adjustment problems, and ego issues. So wouldn't it be better to just let this go and allow the couple to sort out their differences by themselves?


Just then, he was informed that the Raj Purohit had something important to tell him in secrecy. When both of them were alone and the chamber closed and secured in every possible way, they began talking in hushed tones.


Chanakya: The winds are not very good and favorable in politics in the recent times. Our plans are going awry and attacks are happening in all corners of Magadh in bursts and starts. Your advice will surely have a good impact and show us the correct path. I know that Maharaj's horoscope was never prepared before this owing to the disturbing circumstances surrounding his birth. Similarly, as all of Maharaj's marriages were political compromises, it was never thought of even at the time of his three marriages. None of the horoscopes were consulted or compared. Moreover, it was impossible to make a horoscope without the exact time of birth.


Raj Purohit: Acharya, on your instructions, I have prepared a temporary horoscope of Maharaj Chandragupt based on the approximate time of birth you have calculated from the information given by Rajmata Moora. I do not boast about the accuracy of my predictions as I do not the exact time of Maharaj's birth. But all the same, it could be a working solution for us out of this fix. What I am going to tell you will disturb you greatly!


Chanakya: Please be open and straight-forward! If something bad is about to befall, please let me know! I could at least get some remedies done or take a few necessary precautions.


Raj Purohit: The next three months are not at all favorable for Maharaj. Several things could go against him. There is a very Prabal Marak Yog (death threat) in his horoscope. I have compared it with the horoscopes of the two elder Maharanis, Maharani Helena and Maharani Durdhara. Their horoscopes have not impact at all on Maharaj's. But Maharani Nandini's...


Chanakya: Do you suggest any remedial measures or Pujas to safeguard Maharaj? Why were you hesitating to tell something when it came to Maharani Nandini's horoscope?


Raj Purohit: Maharani Nandini's horoscope has the Bhagyashali Yog because of which she is lucky for the men in her life. That was the reason why her father, and brothers acquired great power, wealth and consequence after her birth. Similarly, it also seems to have protected her father and eldest brother from sure death. Likewise, her presence in Maharaj Chandragupt's life also seems to have favored and helped in Maharaj Chandragupt's rise to power.


Chanakya: This is great news then! What's there to worry in all this?


Raj Purohit: I will tell you the full facts. After that, please advise me on what I have to do and what I have to inform Maharaj. Maharani's horoscope has a very positive impact on Maharaj's horoscope. All his reverses will ultimately be converted into his gains. Maharani Nandini also has the Akhand Sowbhagyavati Yog(A lady whose husband cannot die because his wife functions as his protective charm) in her horoscope. So Maharaj's Marak Yog is being nullified by Maharani's Yog. But the negative impact of this is bound to fall on her and she could be the one who is going to meet with the untimely death instead of Maharaj.


Chanakya: What? Is there no way of thwarting it?


Raj Purohit: Yes, there is! In the event of Maharaj separating from Maharani Nandini, her life could be saved. But in that event, the negative effects of Maharaj's horoscope would remain as would the death threat on his life. So to avert that, Maharaj and Maharani have to remain together at all costs for the next three months.


Chanakya (After deep and careful thought): In the best interests of Magadh, you will not inform Maharaj about anything relating to the negative effects in his horoscope or their possible impact on Maharani's life. You will just tell him about the positive aspects in Maharani Nandini's horoscope and advise that both of them stay together so these aspects attain their fullest potential.


Raj Purohit: I will do as per your advice Acharya! To reduce the negative effects on Rani Nandini's life, I advise 1008 Maha Mruthyunjay Jaap by a hundred brahmins every day and Akhand Chandi Parayan for nine days. This should possibly protect her from most of the negative effects.


Chanakya: Whatever remedies you have advised will promptly be begun and done.


Chanakya now understood the reason why Padmanand and Malayketu had been pretty desperate to get a married woman married again. It had appeared pretty outrageous at that point of time. The entire treaty between both of them now made sense. Nandini's Bhagyashali Yog and Akhand Sowbhagyavati Yog would make anyone want to marry her. If by the play of destiny, Nandini had become Chandra's Lady Luck by marriage, he would see to it and ensure to the best of his abilities that she remained so.


Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
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Chapter Nineteen: The Bone of Contention


That night in Nandini's Chamber,


Whatever had happened outside her chamber continued to nag Nandini in one corner of her mind even when she was alone. After the previous night, she thought that she was going to be angry or hate Chandragupt for his guts. For that matter, after every single time he had hurt her, she made this resolution. But alas! She could never stick to it!


The first time, when he had killed all her brothers before her own eyes, she never ever thought that something like love could ever spring in her heart for him. She ought to have hated him for a lifetime. But quite contrary to it, love sufficient to last her seven lifetimes had sprung in her heart for him. Why, she hardly knew!


And the most troublesome matter in this whole train of events, she had never made an attempt to hide it from him as well. She sought him, she literally pursued him with her attentions and care, she took no pains to disguise the empathy and adulation she felt for him in her expressions, she made a friend and companion out of him, and she tried becoming one.


The whole world was in stasis when she was in his presence. Except him, nothing else seemed to matter. She was so wholly absorbed in him. She hung on to every bit of him. She literally worshipped him. She idolized him. Even the finest and thinnest fiber in her body reacted to him and his presence. She gave him that place in her heart from which she had self-evacuated her once dearest Pitha Maharaj.


The day he told her that he had never really cared for her and had just used and manipulated her for the sake of political gain, the scales fell from her eyes. She had lost her idol, her ideal, and her deity a second time. Her idol had feet of clay. He was just another human being like anybody else. Where was he so special and unique in all this? Apart from the fact that he had cheated and used her, this realization hit her very badly.


Even after this, she could not hate or dislike him. Perhaps things could have been better if he had just allowed her some time and space to just accept and get used to this truth. But he did not. He relentlessly pursued her, paid her attentions she did not want, was hell-bent on making her reverse her stance to her original position as if nothing much had happened. He just wanted to set matters NOW AND THERE. She wasn't able to do it.


Then the previous night happened! How could she respect or esteem him after something like that? It broke her from within. She knew that he regretted everything! She could see that! But how was that going to make any difference? She wasn't his toy or plaything. She was a human being with a real heart. What was broken, was broken! It couldn't be mended. It was beyond mending.


He knew that she was weak and vulnerable round him. He could wrap and twist her round his little finger. Why had she revealed all this about herself to him? She had given him that handle over herself. She had given him that power over herself.


And he could very easily misuse it against her if he wanted. He still could if he wanted, though she now believed he wouldn't do so. But all the same this made her wary and suspicious round him. She didn't want to make a fool out of herself the second, or rather third time by believing him all over yet again. She could not bear to be broken and fixed by him yet another time.


When she was brimming and overflowing with care and affection for him, he never seemed to care much. He just took it for granted. When it was not there, why was he trying to awaken in her something that had just died? She felt sorry for him, but she couldn't give anything of herself to him in return for the life of her. She still felt his pain. It wrung her and tugged her like a wet towel forcibly squeezed dry.


She wanted to wipe those unshed tears she saw in his eyes for her. Yes, those tears were for her. She was not going to kid herself otherwise! But how could she, when her own were full of them? She wanted to unclench those fists clenched in anger, pain, frustration and angst. But how could she, when her own were clenched? She wanted to wipe and kiss away those lines of pain and worry she saw on his forehead. But her own forehead was so full of them. Was she bad and selfish in thinking about herself first? Perhaps she was! But the irony, she couldn't help any of this!


Both of them were destined to suffer and remain alone. They could perhaps stay in the same palace, but they could never be together. She wished she never had to face or see his face again. It brought only trouble and pain both to her and to him. But could she really live without seeing his face or hearing his voice? No!


Nandini in a soliloquy to herself, "Chandra, I know nothing has been easy or straight-forward for both of us. We have a history of vengeance and spilt blood between us. That will never be erased. That will always remain between us. Though we are bound together for a lifetime by the vows of marriage, our directions and paths have been parted forever. But why do I always find you before me in every direction I turn and every path I choose? Why are we forced to travel in parallel lines forever when our destinations are one and the same? Why are we forced to perpetually remain in contact even when we cannot touch and transfigure each other? Why?


We can never be together. I can never again trust my hand and heart with you so than you can break it all over again. I can never trust you with them though you mean well now and intend to heal them. What if something else comes and you have to choose? I could not bear to be passed over a second time or rather third time. Isn't it easier and less painful to take away the very cause of indecision for you? I will never risk myself to be in the position of an option for you to choose. How would I know you would choose me and not something else? I would rather not compete at all."


The next day, in Chandragupt's chamber,


Acharya Chanakya and the Raj Purohit were with Chandragupt informing him what they had been discussing the previous evening. True to his promise, the Raj Purohit discreetly mentioned about the fact of how Maharani Nandini was lucky for him, and how her presence in his life would convert all his losses into gains, and how both of them had to always stay together for her horoscope to influence and act more effectively on his horoscope.


He left out mentioning either about the Marak Yog in his horoscope, or how it was being nullified by Nandini's Akhand Sowbhagyavati Yog, or how his horoscope was having a negative impact on her horoscope, or how there was a definite possibility of Maharani Nandini's death if both of them stayed together. After this, the Raj Purohit was warmly rewarded before he was dismissed from there, and both Chandragupt and Acharya Chanakya remained behind to discuss whatever the Raj Purohit had said.


Chanakya: This is lucky for us and our cause, isn't it?


Chandragupt: Lucky or not, we may have to do without this bit of luck after three months. I promised Nandini that I would send her away from here if she wanted to go away from me.


Chanakya (perfectly incredulous by now): But that's impossible! Nandini is your wedded wife. Both of you are bound to each other for seven lifetimes by the seven vows of marriage. Leave seven lifetimes, both of you are at least tagged and bound to each other for this lifetime, whether you prefer it or not, whether she likes it or not. Marriage is not some practical joke you play when you want, and give up when you want. It is an unending and continuous tradition, and a divine sanction and blessing for the relationship between a man and woman. You youngsters! The kind of licenses you take with what has to be held sacred and binding! (He shook his head in disapproval at this point)


Chandragupt: Acharya, nothing is greater and bigger than a woman's choice and free will. I will not bind her at any cost against her wishes. Marriage or no marriage, she can leave me and go BECAUSE I, HER HUSBAND, PERMIT HER TO. IF SHE WANTS TO BE FREED OF THIS BONDAGE, SHE WILL BE RELIEVED OF IT! Moreover, she has done nothing wrong for me to condemn her to a lifetime of imprisonment with me in the name of marriage. She is a free individual, and I respect HER FREEDOM AND CHOICES!


Chanakya: I see no need for any of this at all. And that too, when her presence happens to be so important for us...for me...and FOR YOU (At this, Chanakya, realized that he was speaking too much and giving a possible hint to Chandragupt that there was more to this entire matter and abruptly stopped speaking)


But Chandragupt had thankfully not caught the actual drift in Chanakya's words because he continued speaking something else leaving Chanakya apparently relieved, "Acharya, you were the one who taught me not to rely exclusively on one's luck. You were the one who told me that with your intellect and my strength and hard work, both of us could win the whole world. You were the one who taught me to believe in myself and to believe in you. I really can't believe that you are suggesting something like relying on luck. I have never seen you advocating astrology before this? Do you really believe in all these predictions?


Chanakya: As far as believing astrology goes, I believe and trust in it as much as I would any ancient branch of learning and science. Several predictions and hypothesis could go wrong, but many others could go right also. I still stand by my argument that with my intellect and your strength and hard work, we could win the whole world. Neither do I say that we should give up all effort and rely exclusively on luck. But if there are chances or possibilities of luck favoring us, we should not do away with it. Luck is nothing but an opportunity given to us to make the best possible use of the existing circumstances. I see nothing wrong in taking or using something that will enable our victory. ANYTHING!


Chandragupt: Acharya, I perfectly understand your point of view. But the ANYTHING you mention here is MY WEDDED WIFE. And she is an INDIVIDUAL. I would have no problem if she wants to stay. I will not force anything against her will. I WILL NOT!


Chanakya: Where does the question of force or coercion even arise? If a wife will not stay with her husband, where else will she?


Chandragupt: Nandini can stay anywhere she pleases provided she is happy with it.


Chanakya; Putra, you seem to be forgetting several essential things in your quest to appease Nandini for whatever reasons. Padmanand and Dhananand are still out in the open. Malayketu is also with them. Do you remember that treaty we saw, or should I remind you of it again? So the safety and security issues still dictate that Nandini remains with you.


Chandragupt: That's why I said that I would send away Nandini after three months if she wants to go. I will eliminate all possible threats in this period.


Chanakya: Son, it's good to be confident, but not over-confident. So you are so sure that Padmanand, Dhananand and Malayketu will simply walk into your trap within three months and you are going to catch and execute them within three months so that you can send away Nandini as you had promised her? How can you be so sure that they aren't planning a trap for you into which you could walk any moment?


Chandragupt: I don't know how I am going to do it, but I will do it!


Chanakya: I admire your charming over-confidence and do not wish to tamper with it any further. But there is another aspect to this entire thing that you don't seem to have given proper thought. Even if Nandini is impatient or thoughtless enough not to think about all this, I would have expected better things from you. Where exactly are you planning to send away Nandini? Both her Maika (maternal home) and Sasuraal (in-laws place) are one and the same. Where exactly do you propose to send her away and maintain her safely, securely, and comparatively decently?


Chandragupt: I will build another palace for her. Or else, I will send her away to that friend she wanted to go to, about whom she was mentioning to Helena when both of them were making plans for escape.


Chanakya: Simply admirable! But the same objections persist even here. What about the safety issues in a different palace with neither of us around? And can friends be trusted in such crucial matters? Even if they can be trusted, are they strong and efficient enough to face any eventuality?


Chandragupt: Don't know how, why, where or what! I am just going to do it because my HEART TELLS ME TO!


Chanakya (sarcastically): So at last the MUTE HEART SPOKE! I must have seen this coming!


Chandragupt (in an unrelenting tone): Acharya, I am sorry to displease you. I know you think I am an emotional fool. I too did not know I was one when it comes to Nandini. But I am! I know that you see it as a sign of my weakness. If I am weak, I am weak. I do not deny it. I cannot be cold, clinical, strong or manipulative where it comes to Nandini! I just cannot! I have badly failed at it. I will not repeat it again. I am bound to obey your commands and I will! I owe it to you! But Nandini owes you nothing! Nothing will bind her if she doesn't want it. IF NANDINI WILL NOT, SHE WILL NOT! SHE WON'T BE FORCED OR COERCED!


Chanakya (Changing tactics seeing that Chandragupt was relentless): I hope Maharaj will not have any objection if I just speak or persuade my case with Maharani Nandini in private. I trust and believe that Maharani Nandini will take my words in the right spirit. I know that I have no right to interfere in Maharaj's personal matters...but since I regard both of you in a paternal light...


Chandragupt: If that is the case, I would have no possible objection or qualms. But Nandini will not be COERCED OR BLACKMAILED in any possible way to change her stance. (He still knew the ways of his guru and Acharya. Often they were devious and underhand to achieve his own ends. So he had to clarify that nothing of this sort could be employed with Nandini.) IF SHE DECIDES TO STAY BACK, IT HAS TO BE OUT OF HER OWN CHOICE AND FREE WILL.

Chapter Twenty: You are his Family

In Nandini's Chamber,

Nandini was in her chamber reading something while she received the announcement of Acharya Chanakya's coming there. She was highly flustered and did not understand what had brought a person of his stature to her personal chamber. Whatever it was, it had to be very important. She immediately got up to receive him, asked him to be seated, and made him comfortable. After this, she patiently waited until he would reveal the real purpose of this visit. It was something that would happen once in a blue moon, and certainly something ordinary had not brought him here.

After a long pause, Chanakya began, "I know all this may appear interfering and impertinent to you, Putri, but I just could not help it! Has everything been alright between Maharaj and you?"

Nandini blushed a deep red in embarrassment. What answer was she supposed to give to a person like Acharya Chanakya without sounding rude? It was a question she would have felt awkward answering even to her own mother, Avantika or her mother-in-law, Rajmata Moora. She would have evaded it even to them. And here, Acharya was obviously expecting an answer from her.

Her apparent confusion and silence seemed to have given Acharya Chanakya her answer. He said, "It's alright, Putri. I have got my answer. I have known and been with Maharaj for more years than Rajmata Moora, his sister Chaaya, or foster parents. So I immediately realized that something was really amiss between both of you. I just wanted to know from you if it was so. Your expressions and confusion have only confirmed my suspicions.

I have a paternal affection for Maharaj Chandragupt. So when I saw him in the self-destructive and self-consuming streak he was in yesterday night, you can imagine what went through me. Both of you have known each other only for three months. So these ego clashes, differences of opinion, and adjustment problems between a newly wed couple are naturally bound to arise.

Moreover, Maharaj Chandragupt is not an easy man to know or understand. I have known him for years. But you do not. So you might not have known what to make out of his character. Similarly, Maharaj would not have told much about himself. Even if he did, it would hardly be in a manner to recommend himself to anyone. (He held out a few sheets of parchment to her) Read these whenever you are at leisure! I am sure they will make you understand and see Maharaj in a new light, as he really is, and not as he projects himself to be!"

After this, Chanakya left Nandini to the privacy of her room to read and process whatever he had written about Chandragupt. He knew that this was going to do the trick. Knowing Nandini, he knew that a person as soft-hearted and empathic as she was, she was not going to leave Chandragupt and go after reading all this.

And all this was neither coercion nor black mailing, just as Chandra had wanted. It was all pure convincing and persuasive skills effectively used. He still failed to understand why Chandragupt could not or did not use any of this against Nandini even though he was his student. She would have relented immediately. But then, he was in love, and that too a pretty convoluted and messy kind of one. So he wouldn't have been in his senses.

Nandini sat down to read whatever Acharya Chanakya had given her. She did not know how this was going to make any difference to whatever had happened. But since Acharya seemed to think so, she couldn't afford to ignore it. It ran like this:

"In his formative years, Maharaj had two predominant models of manhood before him. The first was his foster father, and the second was of course me, his preceptor. Though he never faced any trials or tribulations with me, he unconsciously imitated, inculcated and nurtured many aspects of my character and behavior within himself including my quest for knowledge, excellence, perfection, reclusiveness, single-minded determination towards any goal, and detachment from materialistic things and pleasures, and a taste for the higher and refined things in life.

I was his ideal and role model. I was like this at the age of forty after I had been a widower for more than ten years, completely buried in my academic pursuits and my dreams for the motherland. Maharaj was trying to imitate me and be like me since the age of the eight when he hardly knew or saw the world to its fullest. It was bound to fail.

Every age and phase in life has its physical and emotional necessities. One cannot jump or supersede the Varnashrama Dharma in such an abrupt manner. One cannot become a Sanyaasi immediately after Brahmacharya. One has to be a Ghrihastha and then accept Vaanaprastha before contemplating Sanyaas.

You would be amused to know that Maharaj Chandragupt used to think about himself as an unordained Sanyaasi whose goal in life was to fight for the motherland even before he had properly completed Brahmacharya itself. I never tried to point out the error of his thinking processes because my own selfishness was involved here.

I knew that a braver, wiser, generous, charitable and kinder Samrat than my Chandra could never be at the helm of affairs for our country. If he was determined and dedicated only about our Bharat and his duty towards me, there was going to be nothing better than this for me.

Then I was forced to persuade Maharaj to marry three ladies, including you, as a political compromise. He was never mentally prepared for marriage. Nobody teaches a fish to swim. I thought Maharaj would learn automatically once he was thrown into the sea of Samsaara to swim. Nobody taught any of us either. But we all managed pretty well. I thought he would do it too. What I didn't know was that none of us ever had to swim against the tide as Maharaj had to do.

His childhood experiences had left him so scarred and branded for life. None of us knew about Maharaj Chandragupt's real identity at Takshashila. Everybody thought that he was the son of a Charwaha. That was his truth. Though I have never believed that birth or blood makes an individual what he or she is, the society in which we live unfortunately thinks so.

If I had ever discriminated on the basis of birth and blood, I would never have been able to accept and respect you for what you are today. I should have always hated and mistrusted you for being Nand's daughter. But I have not. I have never discriminated or mistrusted you on this basis.

And so I believe has Maharaj. Both of us believe that every individual makes and creates his or her own identity and destiny. You were always Nandini for us. Nothing before, nothing after. Whatever you have made out of your own life, it's your own choices and decisions.

At least, I personally do not harbor any vendetta against the rest of your family except your father Padmanand for his ignoble insult on my self-respect and self-esteem. My crusade has more been for ethical, idealistic and patriotic reasons. So I could very well have been dispassionate and righteous towards you.

Would it have been the same for Rajmata Moora or Maharaj as well? Definitely not! If at all either Maharaj Chandragupt or Rajmata Moora had wanted to avenge themselves against you for your father's crimes against them, could you even imagine what your condition would have been? Both of them have prized truth and justice over everything.

I just got carried away by my lecturing tendencies and digressed. So back to what I was originally talking about, Maharaj's childhood, where despite his extraordinary abilities and potential, he must have been put down, disparaged and discriminated against at every stage. Many of the doors he sought must have been closed to him on the simple basis of birth, caste and lack of fortune. There must have been many things he must have desired but could never attain as they were beyond his reach.

On top of this, just imagine to yourself a brute of a man as his foster father who was given to drunken fits and abused his wife and child for the only reason that they were dependent on him and he had power over them. Being a wife, I need not tell you about all this because you must have observed it long ago. There are a few deep lines and dark spots on Maharaj's chest, back and elsewhere. They are barely visible now since I have applied medication for years together and they have greatly faded over a period of time.

But if you touch and feel them, you would naturally be able to spot out the differences between these portions of the skin and the rest. Let me tell you that these are the scars left behind by whiplashes and bee stings. His foster father used to take out the anger of his frustrations and apparent failure in life on his wife and Maharaj by whipping them like a one would a chained animal in one's possession. Heavens forbid! I wouldn't treat even an animal the way Maharaj or his foster mother were treated by this horrible man.

His foster mother for all her good qualities seems to have been a perfect doormat tied down and bound by an imaginary concept of love and servility. The deplorable thing in all this is that not only did she inflict and heap on herself masochistic punishment, she stood by as a mute spectator witnessing injustice and ill treatment being meted out on the very child whom she professed to love without protesting or fighting back against this in any manner.

The child lost his innocence at a very young age and grew up much before his time. He started supporting his family, his foster mother and his drunken father. You'd be surprised to know how. He collected honey every alternate day. He used to be badly stung by the bees in this attempt.

Maharaj applied medicine made out of neem leaves on his skin in the intervening day, and returned back to work the very next day. He was ready to brave the bee stings to feed himself and his family. At an age when he should have been loved, cared for, and supported, he was doing all that for his family, a family that really did not deserve him.

There was one occasion when this poor child took the courage and confidence to ask his foster mother if they could just go away from there, far away from the whip lashes and abusive words of his drunken father. He assured her that just as he was supporting her now, he would do it there as well. Was she just willing to trust him and come away with him?

Do you know what answer he received? The foster mother said that she could not leave his father and go even if she wanted because she loved him and was willing to take any behavior from him. He could go away if he wanted. How forsaken would that young child have felt that his mother had not chosen him but his abusive father because she apparently loved him?

The child wanted to go away but with his mother because he apparently loved and cared for her. His love for her was apparently his weakness because he was tied down to something he instinctively knew was bad, terrible and unethical, but was forced to ignore and endure it without any opportunity of fighting back.

How would a child growing up in such circumstances ever develop a proper and stable idea of love, relationships or family. How would such a child ever learn to trust or develop faith in another human being or person? It is evident that all this would have left Maharaj with many insecurities even after growing up.

So the second model of manhood he saw was his foster father. He must have vigorously and viciously hated it and eschewed and avoided it like the plague. He knew that he was different and not at all like his foster father, but in one corner of his mind he could have also feared that he could become like the very foster father whom he hated to his wife.

There are two ways people react in abusive situations. One, like his foster mother learning to love and seek the very situation that abuses them. Two, learning to escape the reasons and causes which result in the abusive situation. In Maharaj's case, the reasons for abuse were love and marriage. So he would have wanted to evade or escape them.

But his three marriages were the need of the hour. So Maharaj was forced to get married. Either with Maharani Helena or with Maharani Durdhara, there was no cause for indecision or unpleasantness because Maharaj was never emotionally involved. But it is different with you Putri because he cares, something he never wanted to. He is too deep into all this with you to pretend even an ounce of detachment or indifference.

You have unconsciously and unwittingly brought to life his deepest, greatest and most overwhelming fears: to love somebody, to feel weak and vulnerable, to not receive equal love, empathy, care and attention in reciprocation for his love, empathy, care and attention, not to be the most important person for someone though they were to him, to be abused and cheated for his love by someone, or to become an abuser and cheater himself of somebody who actually trusted and loved him. It might be any one or a combination of all these reasons at work in your differences with Maharaj.

Putri you were really blessed in having grown up with a loving and doting family. You know what it is like, and you could make or create one beautiful family of your own given the right opportunity or circumstances. But my Chandra never had one! He does not know what or how it is. He has a complete family now, but he is too old and detached to identify with them or feel that he belongs to them.

Let me assure you that he feels that sense of belonging only with you. YOU ARE HIS FAMILY. For that matter, you are his everything. Why it has to be you and not somebody else like Maharani Durdhara or Maharani Helena cannot be really explained. But it is so. Whatever he says or however he behaves, trust and believe in me when I say that Maharaj Chandragupt feels for you something he never felt for anybody else.

Maharaj might be very demanding, overbearing, and overwhelming with you. He really is like that with the people who matter to him. He was like that with his foster mother. But she failed him at an emotional plane. I was close to him for very many years but purely at an intellectual plane. I never indulged him at his emotional level where I too have failed him.

Now after all these years, Maharaj has found his equal both at the emotional and intellectual level. That is you! But due to reasons which I do not know and into which I will not inquire into, you too have failed him, Putri. You may be well-justified, all the same you have failed him and let him down. If you really want this marriage to survive, you will have to build all that up right from the foundation, brick by brick.

With all my years, knowledge and wisdom, I understand Maharaj and know how to handle him. You might not understand any of this. And I don't blame you for it as well. You were not in possession of the full facts. You are three years younger than Maharaj. When Maharaj behaves in the irresponsible way that he does with you even though he is older than you, it would have been unfair to expect maturity and wisdom out of you even though you are younger. You have been the last child and the only daughter in your family. With the kind of pampered existence that you must have led, all this behavior would have been beyond your grasp or comprehension.

Just imagine to yourself an obstinate tantrum throwing child to his mother. Maharaj is being that same child he never got the opportunity to be during his childhood with you. Do you have the patience, forbearance, and perseverance to understand and handle this? I speak all of this from my own observation and judgment of the situation.

I spoke to Maharaj about this situation earlier today, and was informed about the three months condition between both of you, and Maharaj's solemn promise to you in this connection. Being a person of my generation, I find it difficult to handle and accept all this. The seven vows of marriage have a sanctity of their own. They are not meant to be broken.

Sometimes an entire lifetime is not sufficient to understand someone fully. Three months is too short a period to understand and decide something of this magnitude. All the minutes and seconds you spend in thinking, in anger, in disappointment, in ego differences is taking you one step closer to that three months. It is widening the distance between both of you. Don't let the distance become so big and great that it can never be bridged.

Maharaj will definitely honor and fulfill his promise to you at the end of three months if that is all you want. But don't let your your anger, disappointment, or disillusionment decide for you what you want in life. All these negative feelings cloud your mind and heart. You might do what you never wanted and end up regretting your decisions for the rest of your life.

Don't keep waiting for Maharaj to seek you and express himself. Even if he does that, I am really not sure how good he is at that. You will have to make the first move yourself. I know neither of you will be happy or complete without the other. Resolve your differences while there is still some time."

Nandini was literally shocked as she was reading this letter. She always knew that Chandra had a difficult childhood, but that it could be so horrible had been beyond her comprehension. If all this was true, she really couldn't blame Chandra for his behavior. She felt sad for him.

Earlier, when she had that last conversation with him, she told that she had forgiven him. She did that just to buy some time and out of her fear that if she did not, it would bring about a revisitation of that night that she very badly wanted to forget. But when he seemed to be getting other ideas, she instinctively conveyed though her behavior and actions that she wanted this space between them maintained. She was surprised that he actually took this hint and did not trouble her any further.

But now his childhood story tugged at her heart strings. She really forgave him for everything this very moment. The previous time though she spoke to this effect, she really did not mean it. But this time though she did not speak, she really meant it. She had done nothing really special for him from her side for her to be the object of such passion and intensity to him. She was just being her own self with him. But if Acharyaji was telling all this about Chandra's feelings for her, then it must have been true.

Wait! Wait! Wasn't she rushing again and jumping to conclusions? How was it that she and Chandra had an argument a couple of nights ago, and Acharya was telling her all these things about Chandra immediately after that? She ought not to be suspecting a person of Acharya Chanakya's credentials. But all this sounded too much even for her belief!

These details could have been shared with her before this as well. So why especially now? Was she being told these things now so that she would sympathize with Chandra? How was she going to believe any of these claims or assertions without verification? If only she was able to see with her own eyes the scars, the whip lashes and bee stings about which Acharya had mentioned, then she could perhaps believe.

After this private meeting between Acharya Chanakya and herself, and the time she had first read all these details about Chandra, two complete weeks had elapsed. Nothing much had changed or happened between Chandra and Nandini. She rarely saw him during these fourteen days. Even if she did, they were fleeting and hurried glimpses. It was another thing that the glimpse seemed like an age where both of them were caught in a bubble of their own.

Chandra had not made any attempt in this period to seek her out and spend time with her. He had been pointedly avoiding her as much as he could. The way in which he had spoken during his last conversation with her when he had said with great hope and promise that he still could not give up hoping that everything between them would become alright because he might as well give up breathing seemed to belie his current behavior.

He never came to see her or tell her how his day had been. He never seemed to ask or request her to do something he wanted like that day when he expressed that he would have been happier if she had done the oil massage for him instead of the Daasis. She had taken just one step backward from him and had flinched away from excessive physical proximity, but on his side that one step of hers had been multiplied to space and distance to the power of ten these days.

This distance, space and time initially relieved her during the first two or three days. Then she had started feeling bored and lackadaisical. She had nothing much to do in the palace these days. Apart from the time she read her books, went to the temple, practiced her singing, her archery and sword practice lessons, she really had nothing productive or constructive to do. She thought she was not going to miss anything.

But she was mistaken! For a week, she had started worrying about this sudden change in everyone's attitude and behavior towards her. Then it started turning into slight anger that she was just being ignored, passed over, and treated like an outsider. That was really what she had become these days! She was chaffing and huffing under the present scheme of things. She had after all got what she had wanted, then why wasn't she happy or satisfied with her own life?

Out of some whim and obstinate fancy, she did not go to court. She stopped going there. She thought that in a few days, it would be insisted upon. But she was apparently ignored. Helena was released from her Nazarband. One or two times, she had seen him going to and fro with her on several important administrative affairs, talking to her, consulting her, or just sharing his problems and worries with her from her balcony.

To say that she had felt outraged and highly jealous when she saw Helena getting her share of attention from him as well was to say the least. On these occasions, Helena's face was filled with a smile of triumph as she was basking in all the attention she was getting, it only seemed to silently tell her that she had failed somewhere.

If Helena could be forgiven and accepted, why couldn't she? That was when she remembered that the question of forgiveness and acceptance should have been his. He should have sought her and not the other way round. It was his mistake and not hers. But what difference did that make now to her actual situation. The wedge had been driven; the distance between both of them now seemed even wider.

Chandra was not doing anything to lessen it just as Acharya Chanakya had foretold her. The gossip among the palace maids that Maharaj went for boat riding with Durdhara, or he had spent the night with Helena, or that he partook a private dinner with Durdhara, or he gifted Patrani Helena a beautiful necklace made of pearls and diamonds kept ringing and resonating in her ears.

In this period, she saw Acharya Chanakya also once or twice as he was going to his chamber. He too spoke nothing. She just saw an inscrutable and resigned glance on his face. She initially hoped that at least he was going to do something about all this. But he too seemed to have washed off his hands from this entire affair.

Nandini was still unwilling or reluctant to make the first move. She seemed to be finding no solution out of this impasse. Just then, she was reminded of whatever Acharya had written about Chandra's childhood. She had read and re-read those words a hundred times in these fourteen days that she had them by heart now.

Why she still took those parchment papers to read was still a mystery! Why she softly and tenderly touched them each time and felt as though she was touching and caressing him couldn't exactly be defined and understood. She had nothing new to learn or find out in those paragraphs but she religiously read them. She cried along with them and shed tears for him. But he was nowhere around to wipe them away.

The deadline of the three months kept inching even nearer. Of course, when the push came to the pull, she could always insist that she did not want to go away. Nobody was going to force or throw her away out of the palace. Chandra was not going to do it. Even if he did this, Rajmata Moora and Acharya Chanakya were not going to countenance it. But such a thing was going to badly bruise her ego, self-confidence and self-esteem.

Then her thought that she was going to forgive Chandra for anything, even that night, if only she could see and verify everything written by Acharyaji, started becoming even stronger. Things would have been normal if only she could see those marks, those scars left behind by whiplashes and bee stings about which Acharya Chanakya had written, with her own eyes. She would win him back all over again.

How was she even going to go about doing it? At first, she felt abashed and embarrassed that being a wife she never knew about the birth marks, or scars on her husband's body. But then, in the kind of situation both of them got married, physical proximity or knowledge about each other's bodies seemed literally impossible.

The only night when it had actually happened to some degree at least was so very problematic and disturbing that she tried to forget it than remember anything about it. The throbbing sensation she had felt, the goosebumps that arose, the shivers than ran throughout her body when she was touched and felt like that by him remained vividly in her psyche.

What had been highly unpleasant at that time, no longer felt so. That was the only time when both of them had been the closest with each other. These days she only felt hollow. Did she want a renewal of all that now? Though not immediately today, nor tomorrow, nor the day after, but she definitely wanted and hoped that both of them could someday grow physically comfortable around each other and she could just trust and let go of herself with him.

The idea that she was going to verify Acharya Chanakya's claims and assertions continued becoming stronger. This was going to make everything alright between both of them. She was no longer going to hold up the past between both of them. She would begin anew on a fresh slate.

But how was she going to make Chandra undress or remove his angavastra so that she could inspect. It could either give him unwanted ideas about her or it could highly offend him that she was trying to find out if such a sensitive and shocking detail about him was true or not. Just then she hit upon a pretty outrageous idea to find out if whatever Acharya Chanakya had been telling her was the truth or not.

Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago

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