Originally posted by: DushtKanya
Thanks for sharing your views. It's a very authentic post, appreciate you pouring out your feelings 🤗 I'll just speak from my own experiences -
I feel that lately, with the explosive advent of social media, women emancipation, the strive for equality and all the arguably progressive developments, more people have become aware, have started to have a sense of justice and don't easily accept shit when they feel that it's unfair, but at the same time, have become a little confused with the nuances. Awareness is a good thing, but then I feel that the ability to compromise in general has been hit in the process. Objectively speaking, relationships nowadays break up over trivial things. With due respect to subjectivity, I feel that there are people who don't even try to reach a compromise and see how it goes, but instead break off the relationship as soon as they sense something that they don't like. I know someone who broke up with their loving partner because the latter liked having some time to play video games, and the former liked full attention - I personally think she could have tried adjusting, especially since barring the video games factor, the guy respected and loved her to bits, but then she was her own person at that time who had her own frustrations, so I can't judge. It's just that she now regrets doing it.
Of course, Amu's (Taapsee) case is different. This was about her self-respect, and systematic misogyny. While compromise is pretty essential in a marriage, you can't keep on compromising out of love or 'duty' when there's clearly something that is shifting your equilibrium, and lose your self-respect and identity. There are a lot of women like Amu who do it, but then I guess that it comes from the values inculcated in them while they grew up so even systematic issues become fine to them.
Coming to what you are saying, there are different 'problems' in relationships, and we can't generalise. The wisest thing is to take a significant amount of time to really get to know a person, his/her ideologies, his/her way of thinking, his/her habits and values, to know whether you will be able to spend your whole life with them. And compromise should, as far as possible, be mutual, because everyone won't be perfectly compatible. There'll definitely be differences on both sides. You have to be aware of yourself, first of all. That is the most important thing before indulging in marriage. I know that live-in is taboo in India but I think that this is the best way to know if this is your person. I guess that the difficult part here is when you fall in love with someone (you don't think before doing that) and then some time later, you realize that there's a systematic issue. You should really have the courage to walk away if you feel that a relationship becoming detrimental to your own core self. Communication and understanding is key, and it's important to keep in touch with your partner, otherwise during the course of the relationship, you both grow (we all constantly evolve), but apart.
So the most important thing, acc to me, is to be true to yourself first; introspection/observing yourself may help.
Thanks for thissss...
Bold: yeah, even I am confused about all this..
Red: that's the most important ..
Blue: right..
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