Thappadddd - Page 2

That's the harsh reality, MOST of the men are neither that romantic or as supporting as shown there. If I would do such a thing my dad would accuse me of making a big deal about a small thing and my mom would too keep quite coz "heyy patriarchy"

Thanks for sharing your views. It's a very authentic post, appreciate you pouring out your feelings 🤗 I'll just speak from my own experiences -

I feel that lately, with the explosive advent of social media, women emancipation, the strive for equality and all the arguably progressive developments, more people have become aware, have started to have a sense of justice and don't easily accept shit when they feel that it's unfair, but at the same time, have become a little confused with the nuances. Awareness is a good thing, but then I feel that the ability to compromise in general has been hit in the process. Objectively speaking, relationships nowadays break over trivial things. With due respect to subjectivity, I feel that there are people who don't even try to reach a compromise and see how it goes, but instead break off the relationship as soon as they sense something that they don't like. I know someone who broke up with their loving partner because the latter liked having some time to play video games, and the former liked full attention - I personally think she could have tried adjusting, especially since barring the video games factor, the guy respected and loved her to bits, but then she was her own person at that time who had her own frustrations, so I can't judge. It's just that she now regrets doing it.

Of course, Amu's (Taapsee) case is different. This was about her self-respect, and systematic misogyny. While compromise is pretty essential in a marriage, you can't keep on compromising out of love or 'duty' when there's clearly something that is shifting your equilibrium, and lose your self-respect and identity. There are a lot of women like Amu who do it, but then I guess that it comes from the values inculcated in them while they grew up so even systematic issues become fine to them. Based on one's values, there are situations to which they can adjust and some to which they cannot.

Coming to what you are saying, there are different 'problems' in relationships, and we can't generalise. The wisest thing is to take a significant amount of time to really get to know a person, his/her ideologies, his/her way of thinking, his/her habits and values, to know whether you will be able to spend your whole life with them. And compromise should, as far as possible, be mutual, because everyone won't be perfectly compatible. There'll definitely be differences on both sides. You have to be aware of yourself, first of all. That is the most important thing before indulging in marriage. I know that live-in is taboo in India but I think that this is the best way to know if this is your person. I guess that the difficult part here is when you fall in love with someone (you don't think before doing that) and then some time later, you realize that there's a systematic issue that's looming. You should really have the courage to walk away if you feel that your relationship is becoming detrimental to your own core self, even though you'll definitely take time to heal and move on - since you're attached and used to having the person around. Communication and understanding is key, and it's important to keep in touch with your partner, otherwise during the course of the relationship, you both grow (we all constantly evolve), but apart.

So the most important thing, acc to me, is to be true to yourself first; introspection/observing yourself may help.

Originally posted by: DushtKanya

Thanks for sharing your views. It's a very authentic post, appreciate you pouring out your feelings 🤗 I'll just speak from my own experiences -

I feel that lately, with the explosive advent of social media, women emancipation, the strive for equality and all the arguably progressive developments, more people have become aware, have started to have a sense of justice and don't easily accept shit when they feel that it's unfair, but at the same time, have become a little confused with the nuances. Awareness is a good thing, but then I feel that the ability to compromise in general has been hit in the process. Objectively speaking, relationships nowadays break up over trivial things. With due respect to subjectivity, I feel that there are people who don't exactly try to reach a compromise and see how it goes, but instead the break off the relationship as soon as they see something that they don't like. I know someone who broke with their loving partner because the latter liked having some time to play video games, and the former liked full attention - I personally think she could have tried adjusting, especially since barring the video games factor, the guy respected and loved her to bits, but then she was her own person at that time who had her own frustrations, so I can't judge. It's just that she now regrets doing it.

Of course, Amu's (Taapsee) case is different. This was about her self-respect, and systematic misogyny. While compromise is pretty essential in a marriage, you can't keep on compromising when there's clearly something that is shifting your equilibrium out of love, and lose your self-respect and identity. There are a lot of women like Amu who do it, but then I guess that it comes from the values inculcated in them while they grew up so even systematic issues become fine to them.

Coming to what you are saying, there are different 'problems' in relationships, and we can't generalise. The wisest thing is to take a significant amount of time to really get to know a person, his/her ideologies, his/her way of thinking, his/her habits and values, to know whether you will be able to spend your whole life with them. And compromise should, as far as possible, be mutual, because everyone won't be perfectly compatible. There'll definitely be differences on both sides. You have to be aware of yourself, first of all. That is the most important thing before indulging in marriage. I know that live-in is taboo in India but I think that this is the best way to know if this is your person. I guess that the difficult part here is when you fall in love with someone (you don't think before doing that) and then some time later, you realize that there's a systematic issue. You should really have the courage to walk away if you feel that a relationship becoming detrimental to your own core self. Communication and understanding is key, and it's important to keep in touch with your partner, otherwise during the course of the relationship, you both grow (we all constantly evolve), but apart.

So the most important thing, acc to me, is to be true to yourself first; introspection/observing yourself may help.

Wonderful advice!

Originally posted by: Tezaa

Trust me, real life isn't that bad what portrayed in movies.

Originally posted by: Cheesedumplings

Hmm ... sometimes I feel real life can be even tougher than movies

For example, just google any disease name. You will get cancer-warning.

Originally posted by: Tezaa

They knows the weakness of audience and they try to touch it with their made-up stories. If you see things negatively, you will find fault in everything.

For example, just google any disease name. You will get cancer-warning.

@bold lmao true story. Had major headache because of food cycle disruption and Google instantly diagnosed me with brain tumor

People here are blaming every men, just because of a character in a movie. Haha this is the reason why I don't visit IF. 🤣 Continue.

Originally posted by: ~*sindhu*~

Some men just grow up with that behaviour. They are forever accustomed to the idea people doing everything for them. So the thought that maybe sometimes they should do it on their own never occurs. Its a habit that is very difficult to change. But then there are also men who have been raised differently and they do all their work on their own. I see men who have lived in hostels for some time do behave differently than the ones who have forever lived with their family. So if u want a partner who might share the load with you rather than expect u to do everything, u need to find that person. As long as you know what u want it won't be difficult. Nothing to worry or be afraid of.

Thanks 🎈 Yeah, hope so. I don't know, I have so many fears regarding relationships, I think too much ..

Originally posted by: LeviOsAa

That's the harsh reality, MOST of the men are neither that romantic or as supporting as shown there. If I would do such a thing my dad would accuse me of making a big deal about a small thing and my mom would too keep quite coz "heyy patriarchy"

Hmm ...reality seems hard enough

Originally posted by: Cheesedumplings

Hmm ...reality seems hard enough