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International journalist joins BiggBoss team

The $64,000 question surrounding the hugely exciting Bigg Boss India event is, can a show, which has largely been controversial and at times sexually implicit, be successful in the Indian global market?

Bigg Boss, the real life soap will have 13 celebrities confined inside a specially designed house where every single point in the house is within view of a video camera. The housemates will be watched by 28 cameras.

They will not be permitted any contact with the outside world: no TV, radio, telephone, internet, not even writing materials. The public is invited to vote to evict one of the contestants. The last remaining is the winner who bags Rs 500000/-. The 'Bigg Boss', an omnipresent voice will be watching all the moves of the housemates. And the popular 'Circuit' of Munnabhai MBBS - Arshad Warsi - will be anchoring the show.

Omar Ahmed, the much heralded UK based writer for Radio Times & Empire Magazine in the UK, believes the show has a huge amount of potential within India and will work a treat. 'Bigg Boss will be the most talked about reality show in India to date' says Omar. 'The mere thought of thirteen high profile celebrities staying in a house for 100 days with no outside contact is an ideal ingredient for a show which will prove to be immensely exciting and entirely revolutionary'

Omar Ahmed, who is firmly regarded as the mainstream Indian entertainment expert in the UK. Having watched all Big Brother series in the UK, and have written for mainstream publications such as Empire Film Magazine, The Evening Mail and for BBC Radio Times, BBC Entertainment, BBC Radio, Total Film, Metro Newspapers, The Times of India & the Allied Irish Bank magazine, Omar will bring a wealth of experience and knowledge and will regularly air his comments and opinions on the whole contest.

Boss ka goss

Bigg City bookings are over. It's citizens have moved in

Kunal M Shah

Nitin Desai's reality show Big Boss is getting a set that matches its name. The 240x100 feet set has been constructed keeping in mind that the 13 celebrity contestants will be staying at the sets for 86 days and will not be allowed to go out, or have any contact with the outside world, during this period.

Nitin Desai who created the set says, "I created the set keeping the Indianess of the show in mind. The interiors of the sets are ethnic and it's very huge. I studied the international format and saw the show earlier but I can proudly say that, this is the biggest and the best house among all the Big Bosses." The set is 80 km from Mumbai and is big enough to be called Bigg Boss city. Three hundred people will be staying there for three months.

He adds, "There is a big garland on the gate of the house. The lawn is huge and is designed to look like a chessboard. The Ganesh idol near gate adds to the Indian look of the sets. The rooms have access to each other. There is one living room, there are multiple prayer rooms and bedrooms. There is also a swimming pool and a gym and restaurants. The view from the backyard is also scenic and beautiful. Thirty-two cameras have been installed in the house to monitor the participants round the clock. We have built a road that takes you to the house and is very high-tech.

Carol's first TV assignment



The leggy model has given the Lakme India Fashion Week a miss to be part of Bigg Boss



Reena Thapar Kapoor



Model Carol Gracias is set to take a 'bigg' step. She will feature in Sony's reality show Bigg Boss. That explains her absence from the ongoing Lakme India Fashion Week, the prized destination for all models at present. This is also the first time in the history of the LIFW that Carol has decided not to be part of it.

So, why has Carol given the Fashion Week a ditch? "It's true that I'm not part of LIFW this time." Why? "I couldn't do the show because of money issues. This assignment that is paying me much better money. Also, I couldn't allot the dates and the time that LIFW required."

The grapevine is abuzz with rumours that show organisers boycotted her after the negative publicity she generated after her wardrobe malfunction earlier this year. However, Carol denies that she has been ousted from the LIFW. She says, "Not being part of the fashion week was a choice I made. It has got nothing do with the wardrobe malfunction. Honestly, I don't even want to think about that. It's a thing of the past."

• This assignment that is paying me much better money. Also, I couldn't allot the dates and the time that LIFW required — Carol Gracias

Sahi hai, Boss!
By: Tushar Joshi
November 3, 2006

'Loo'ping the loop:Rakhi Sawant The 13 participants of Sony's Bigg Boss have made their way to an undisclosed location on the outskirts of Mumbai, in Karjat. For weeks, there has been speculation about the celebrities who will be participating on the show. Now, a source from the channel has spilled the beans confirming the names that are going to be locked up in 'the house' for three months. Among those you will see tonight are Deepak Parasher, Bobby Darling, Rakhi Sawant, Amit Sadh, Salil Ankola, Aryan Vaid, Rupali Ganguly, model Carol Gracias and Bhojpuri star Ravi Kissen. The house will have two huge bedrooms and a living room. There is also a separate kitchen area where the contestants can cook food. 'Loo'ping the loop: (From left to right) Aryan Vaid, Rupali Ganguly, Carol Gracias, Bobby Darling, Salil Ankola, Amit Sadh, Ravi Kishen and Deepak Parasher 'Loo' and behold! The source says, "The contestants reached the venue last evening. They were asked to carry luggage that will last them for three months. Each of the participants had a family member dropping them off. Some celebrities even cried and broke down while entering the house." Interestingly, the 13 contestants have been divided by their sex and will sleep in a designated section for men and women, with two people to each bedroom. The only glitch seems to be a common bath area for all contestants. The source adds, "The contestants have to use a common loo. It will be difficult getting accustomed to this, but there is no other option." Apart from the rooms, there is also a confession room where the participants will be able to speak to the audience and talk about their experiences and grievances. The house will have 28 cameras and will be on 24 hours everyday. http://www.mid-day.com/hitlist/2006/november/145983.htm

Screwtiny!
By: Tushar Joshi and Krishnakumar
November 3, 2006

Bhojpuri superstar Ravi Kissen had expressed reservations about the HIV test; Rakhi Sawant (left) is one of the 13 celebs on the reality show to go on air from today It could be a first in Indian television history. The 13 celebrity contestants in Sony's much-hyped reality show Bigg Boss will have to undergo HIV tests as precaution because there are chances they will have sex on the show. The show — to be telecast from today — is based on the international reality TV hit Big Brother, in which a number of contestants live together for three months while avoiding being voted out in a public poll. They are on camera all the time. The grand prize for the winner of Bigg Boss — Rs 50 lakh. MiD DAY has learnt that many contestants had voiced their apprehensions and even wanted to opt out of the show, as they did not want to take the HIV test. Contestants will undergo counselling "Bhojpuri actor (and Bigg Boss contestant) Ravi Kissen had strong reservations. His argument was that he is a completely devoted family man and he did not need to take the HIV test. He later relented and took the test," said a source from the channel. Kissen admitted, "I had reservations because it is a foreign concept. It has nothing to do about me being a family man." Chief creative head of Sony TV Sandiip Sikcand agreed that the participants had to undergo HIV tests. "We have a rule for all participants. They also have been taken for counselling to psychiatrists," said Sikcand. He denied that any contestant had reservations about being tested for HIV. Sikcand said the tests were part of the rules being followed by Big Brother. Is there a possibility of the contestants getting physically intimate in the show? "We haven't planned anything! If the contestants do get intimate, there is nothing to stop them. We would not show any nudity and edit the scenes, as this is a family show," said Sikcand. When asked whether the participants have carried any contraceptives with them, Sikcand laughed and said, "The contestants may have, but we haven't provided them with anything." Sex on the show The format of Big Brother has been altered in many countries. For instance, countries like Hungary and Poland have different rules, which allow sex and nudity on screen. In the Indian version, cameras would not be allowed in bathrooms and there would be censorship on content. 1999 Big Brother was first telecast in Holland 70 The number of countries where editions of the show have been telecast 70,000 The prize money (Rs 60 lakh) in Big Brother, UK 50,000 The amount (Rs 43 lakh) British tabloid The Sun offered the first couple to have sex in Big Brother, UK First couple to have sex on the show: Bart Spring and Sabine Wendell, Netherlands, 1999 http://www.mid-day.com/news/city/2006/november/145987.htm

'Moo' ki baat

13 contestants and a cow will have a ball on Bigg Boss soon, reveals Sandeep Sikcand

Subhash K Jha

Carol Gracias will knead dough, Rakhi Sawant and Bobby Darling will play chess in a very awkward position, Aryan Vaid will teach them the right positions (on the chess board), Bobby Darling will hit on one of the guys…

And a cow will make a special appearance at the Karjat house where the 13 contestants for Bigg Boss are holed up. "If you ask me, the biggest celebrity on Bigg Boss would be the cow that makes an appearance on the set next week," says Sandeep Sikcand of Sony TV.

So, why the rather poor turn-up of celebrities on the show? "Look, we did ask so-called bigger names. But they asked for ridiculous amounts of money. I think we've finally got an eclectic mix of people from different walks of life," he replies.

An eclectic mix of people who are going to have sex after being given a clean chit in an HIV test? "With all this excitement in the first week do you think the show needs sex? The contestants are free to have sex if they want. But I doubt that would be the case. At heart we're all Indians. And Sony is an Indian family channel. So I don't know where this news about sex on the show comes from. We're certainly not advocating a peep show here. We're going to capture the contestants doing normal things in the beautiful house that we've specially built for Bigg Boss with a swimming pool, et al in Karjat. Of course the contestants are excited and they are planning to do all sorts of things. But no sex. They'll do normal things like play games, cook food, etc," he replies.

We guess only time will tell what's 'normal' and what isn't.


* If you ask me, the biggest celebrity on Bigg Boss would be the cow that makes an appearance on the set next week — Sandeep Sikcand

Article posted by memsaab.

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/bigg-boss-season-4/453262/rakhi-sawant-gr8-interview

August 2006 Issue The girl who tied rakhis to a different boy each day, is now the centre of male attention...

Love her, Hate her – you can't ignore her. She believes her life is like a fairy tale and her favourite is Cindrella. Will she ever be able to emerge unscathed out of the myriad controversies that swamp her? Will she find her prince charming who will sweep her off her feet? In an EXCLUSIVE heart-to-heart with GR8! 'Item girl' Rakhi Neeru Sawant reveals all. EPISODE 01 "I don't think I have seen good life at all as a child A lot of people don't know that my real name is Neeru. I was born in Mumbai lekin hosh sambhala hostel mein. I have always been in a hostel ever since I can remember. So has my brother Rakesh and sister Ruhi who is now Varsha after her marriage. My entire childhood was spent in hostels. I've changed 2 hostels - first when I was really young, I was in a hostel in Panchgani because my father was posted there. At that time I was removed from there because I used to wet my bed. I used to get scared at night and couldn't get up to go to the bathroom so I would wet my bed. Then I went to some other place which I don't remember and then I came to Mount Mary in Bandra because my father got transferred to Mumbai. I studied and stayed at the Mount Mary Convent in Bandra, Mumbai. I have lived very little of my life with my parents. My mother was working as a nurse when we were really young but then she quit her job to be a full time housewife. We were from a middle class family and stayed at a chawl in Worli somewhere. My parents were of the opinion that we kids were better off in a hostel. They thought that if we continued to stay in a chawl system, we would get spoilt. There were lower middle class people staying around us. My father was a cop and since my mother was in service there was no one to take care of us. But because I was brought up in a hostel, I became independent very fast. In the hostel there was a lot of discipline, rules and regulations to follow. Some of the stuff I still follow like I'm very disciplined about my food habits. I eat at a certain time and don't eat after a certain time. I used to get beaten up all the time in school for something or the other. Even when I came home for holidays there was no freedom for me. My father would try to discipline us at home as well…'don't go here, don't do that'. He was like a Hitler. One day in school, in an elocution competition, I was asked to recite a poem. This was in the 7th standard. I had learnt the poem for an entire week but the minute I went on stage and saw the entire crowd looking at me, I panicked. And although I knew the poem by heart I couldn't remember a word of it. I had stage fright. Can you believe it? They suspended me from school for a week, because I couldn't recite the poem. I had put my class to shame! Today the same Rakhi Sawant isn't scared of performing anywhere in the world! At that time I felt really bad because all my class mates were making faces at me. Then I made up my mind that I had to be strong and that I had to overcome stage fright. I thought to myself why was I getting scared! If it's the public then I better face them. That's what I did. After that day, I would go to the hall, get on stage and practice everyday. It didn't matter who was looking at me. After that I won every competition be it drama, dance or elocution. Although I was the youngest amongst the siblings I wasn't pampered. I was never given any special attention neither by my mother nor my father. I don't think I have seen good life at all as a child. One thing that I missed the most in the hostel was my parents dropping me off to school. I would see other parents coming to drop their children to school. There was no one to drop me or pick me up. There was no one waiting for me at home. I missed these things as a kid. As I grew up I came to terms with my life. I think every kid should go to a hostel, because it puts discipline into your life. Too much freedom isn't good for kids. I used to go to the church ever since I was a kid because I used to find peace there. That's why you'll see a picture of Christ in my home. In school I had a strange habit. I used to love vada pav and wanted to have it everyday. So I would tie a rakhi to a different boy each day and in return I would ask for a vada pav. They used to call me 'Vada Pav' in school. I don't remember how many brothers I must have had in school! Everyday the nuns would beat me up. I would cry and sulk for a day or two but would do it again after that. The school was huge so I would get one bakra everyday. Sometimes the guys would get so fed up that they would just get a vada pav and would beg 'don't tie us a rakhi please!'. I think I've broken some hearts in school! When I was in school I would perform in the local orchestra or sometimes in school functions and I would get paid sometimes Rs 50 or Rs 100 and at times even Rs 500. For me that was a huge amount. My mum would beat me up when she used to see the money in my bag. She would ask where the money came from? Since my father was earning something like Rs 5000 she wondered where I was getting so much money from! I told her much later that I was a child artiste. I would dance to Sridevi and Madhuri songs and even to Mithun Chakravarty songs. I liked earning the money. When I was 9 years old I went to catering classes. And once the classes got over I started preparing food and selling it as well. That's also how I would earn money. Don't ask me to elaborate on this aspect as I think I've spoken enough already. My mother knew that I was earning money but she never asked me from where it came. My parents couldn't afford my school fee and because these convent schools have special provisions for kids like us they took us in. Yet the nuns would discriminate between children like us and the other kids who could pay fees. At the same time there was discrimination at home too. My brother was given better treatment than us. He was sent to a better boarding than my sister and I. Once I was beaten up because I had applied lipstick. I don't remember where I got it from… maybe it was my mother's… but I remember being beaten up for putting it. When the complaint letters used to go home, my father would never come. If my mother came she would just listen quietly. She would avoid coming in most cases. I remember Sister Mary was good to me. I used to like my PT teacher, Parekh sir. He used to make me run around because I was a chubby kid whose cheeks everyone used to pull. I was never good in studies not a single subject! I haven't looked back since I passed out of school. I haven't seen any friends from school since. I don't think they'll even know that Rakhi is actually Neeru. A lot of people don't know that Neeru is my real name and that's the name I have on my passport as well. After I started out in the industry people told me that the name Neeru didn't sound good. Mahesh Manjrekar gave me the name Rakhi. I worked in his movie called Kurukshetra and he suggested that I call myself Rakhi. I liked the name immediately and remembered my rakhi tying days from school. But honestly I don't think I had a childhood… EPISODE 02 "I SACRIFICED MYSELF FOR MY FAMILY" I have a father but I never really ever got his love and attention. He used to be busy with his work and would be very strict with the kids. When I came out of school, my mother wasn't working and my father left us. He didn't want to stay with us because he didn't like the fact that his daughter wanted to join the film line and had started working towards it. He didn't want me to earn a living in this industry. That was the time when we didn't even have Rs 2000 to pay the house rent. My sister and my brother wanted to continue with their education and their fees had to be paid. There was only one person who was earning and that was me. I was used to earning money… bas utha liya sab ka bojh apne pe. I sacrificed myself for my family. I took over from my father. I think I played his role in the family. My father today doesn't stay in Mumbai. I miss him a lot. I don't meet him. When the Mika controversy happened he called and said 'whatever you're doing you're right'. Those words infused a new life in me. I was so happy that day. I think he feels guilty for leaving all of us at a young age. But I don't think he wants to come back. I do have complaints against him. My siblings and I haven't got our father's love. That's the thing missing in my life till date. We can't contact him because we don't have any contact number. He calls us. We don't know where he is. Mum says that they tried to mend things and stay together but it didn't work. Now years have gone by. It's too late now. The train has slipped off the tracks! I see my mother crying alone sometimes. She misses him a lot. In old age you need a companion. I really feel bad that my parents are not together. My siblings have their own life. My mother has become alone now. EPISODE 03 "I HAD TO FACE A LOT OF DIRT AND DIRTY PEOPLE IN THIS NDUSTRY…" After I passed my 10th from Mount Mary Convent I felt like a bird that had got freedom. Even as a teenager I didn't know a single road in Mumbai because life was spent in a hostel. The only place I knew was the beach which was close to our hostel. But I used to get scared of water. I still get scared of water. I think I will drown if I go close to it. I almost drowned once. My mother and I had gone to Haji Ali once and we both slipped and almost drowned. Then some people rescued us and from that day I have been scared of water. I haven't been to Haji Ali since that day. I was fond of dancing even as a kid. There is no artiste in my family. No one in my family ever thought of getting into the film line. They considered it bad. But when I wanted to get into it, my mother said ok. While I was in the first year of college itself, I had started doing theatre. My parents didn't like me acting so I would tell them that I'm going to college but I would instead go for my plays. I was enrolled in Mithibai College of Arts but I would hardly attend lectures and didn't complete my education. I liked doing theatre more than studying so after about a year of college I quit. I don't miss not having gone to college full time. Since I never knew what that life was, what's the point in missing it! While I was doing theatre I did some Hindi and Marathi plays like Kunku [which means kumkum in Marathi] and Saali Poori Gharwali in Hindi. I've done comedies and social dramas. While I was doing the play called Kunku, Shakeel Noorani, the director had come for one of my shows. After the play he met me and offered me the item number in his film Joru Ka Ghulam opposite Govinda and I accepted it immediately. So I never auditioned for that song. This was in the year 2000. When I did that song with Govinda, I used to be plump and chubby but I wasn't conscious of fitness. As time went by and I met more people I became aware that I needed to work out and stay slim if I have to be here. Then for the next 2 years I was waiting because all the songs that were being offered to me were the same and I thought they were really stupid. Meanwhile I continued to do theatre. Then I came to know about the audition for the song that would eventually make me famous - Mohabbat Hai Mirchi from the film Chura Liya Hai Tumne. This was in 2003. I auditioned four times before I got the item number. I really don't know how my transition happened from being a shy girl to an item girl. Even I'm surprised at myself! I would like to think that it's my hostel life that made me strong. My mother supported me. She said that life happens only once. Every girl has to get married one day. So live your life. One of her favorite songs is Duniya main hum aaye hain to jeena hee padega… she would sing it often to drive home the point. I had to do a lot of photo sessions. I used meet so many people day in day out. I don't recall any one person telling me what to do. I made my own decisions and I don't have a godfather in the industry. My godfather is the public. Taaliyon kee goonj sun kar mein aage aayee hoon… Everyday there used to be a meeting at some producer's office. I was young when I started out. Once I realized what kind of people were there I started taking my mum along with me to meetings. And I never encouraged anyone to misbehave. I knew how to handle men because I matured very fast. There are so many incidents that have happened in my life which I'd rather not remember or talk about because they are really bad. Out of 100, 50 are wrong kind of people who I encountered. But I would say the decision is yours. If you know that there is a pit ahead of you, it's your choice if you want to fall in it or step back, I choose to step back. When I stared out I didn't know if I was going to be an item girl or a heroine or character artiste. Things kept happening and I became an item girl. Mohabbat hai mirchi was the song by which everyone started recognizing me. After that offers started pouring in. I did want to be an actress but I didn't want to take up the kind of roles that were being offered to me. I had to face a lot of dirt and dirty people in this industry time and again. I have lost a lot of good assignments but I didn't think of compromising even once. I have really had a close brush with these things but thankfully I never got sucked into it. I thought to myself, 'What's the guarantee that I'll get work later on?' Then I started manipulating the situation. I would just say 'dekhte hain' and leave it at that… gud chakhana… you have to do it. I did it to survive in this industry. Today when I meet the same people again I laugh inwardly. And then I politely refuse the roles they offer me. Back then whatever I would earn, I would bring all the money and give it to my mother and she would save it for me. Even today whatever I earn I give her. Life has been a struggle for me. On the one hand I was trying to get into movies and trying to get a decent portfolio done by a decent photographer, on the other hand trying to pay house rent and pay for my sibling's education. I think all the girls have a choice and I would never blame a girl if she compromises. It's the men who should be blamed because they are the ones who are propositioning. They don't think twice that they have wives and sisters at home. They are the ones doing the dirty business why should the girl feel sorry? Sometimes probably the girl doesn't have a way out. And once you're in it it's like quicksand… EPISODE 04 "I'M DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR LOVE…" Like all kids I too loved fairy tales. My favorite was the story of Cinderella. I think my story is like Cinderella's except for the step mum part. How she worked hard and struggled and then her life became ok, I think one day my life will be like hers... Love is what I don't have. I think I'm desperately looking for love but I'm constantly running away. I'm running away from normal things like friendship and love. I was in a co-ed school where I liked a guy called Devendra. He was the monitor of my class. But that was an infatuation. I have had lots of crushes in my life but haven't ever been in love. Sometimes I feel that maybe I should get married and settle down, but then I look at my work and push these thoughts behind. Whenever I felt attracted to anyone I stopped myself and got back to work. I say to myself, that you've worked so hard to get here, don't throw it all away. I say run Rakhi run… your life shouldn't get over here. I don't want any man telling me what to do and what not to do. I have sacrificed everything for work. Maybe that's the reason no man is coming into my life because I don't have the time for anyone. I wonder if it could be because of what my father did. It sort of makes you stop believing in men. My instincts tell me that there will be a man in my life in the next 2-3 years. My ideal man should be from this field. He should be well settled. And most of all he should understand me. I know that sometime in my life I will marry. Yet I don't want to depend on anybody for money. I can live life only on my terms… The girl who would tie rakhi's to everyone is now the centre of male attention. Sometimes I just don't believe it! EPISODE 05 "MAIN APNI MAA KEE, BHAI KEE AUR BEHEN KEE MAA BANI HOON…" I don't regret whatever I went through in life. I'm proud to say that today I have been useful to my sister and my brother. I got my sister married, I got my brother married I encouraged him to lead his life. I tried to do the best I could for him; I also take care of my mother, who has high blood sugar, even though I'm the youngest of the siblings I have settled them all. My mother calls me her son. I'm close to both my brother and sister. Recently I also did my brother's movie Hot Money, in which I did an item number but I didn't think that it was any different from doing an item number in any other movie. I didn't think it was a big deal. Experience naya nahin tha… My sister Varsha is well settled and has 2 almost-teenager sons. My brother Rakesh also has a son. Varsha is happy with her life. She also tried coming into this line, but I put my foot down. I said 'no way are you coming into this line'. She was very beautiful. I didn't want her to go through what I was going through. I always wanted them smiling so I never told them about what I was going through. They only knew that I was in the film industry and that I was earning money. I didn't tell them anything beyond that. I used to cry at times but they didn't know it. But I'm happy that they are well settled. Main apni maa kee, bhai kee aur behen kee maa bani hoon…I don't know who the real Rakhi is anymore. EPISODE 06 "I DON'T CARE IF PEOPLE HAVE A WRONG IMAGE OF ME…" When people talk about my short clothes and my image I think they are short of brains. Am I the first girl who wore such clothes? What I wear on television is what I wear for my shows and why shouldn't I? When I'm doing my shows, it's all about dance. I'm not dancing there to show off my body. People have double standards. They want to see me yet they want to pretend they don't. I don't go into people's home to sell show tickets. I don't force anyone to come to my shows. They are dying to see my shows so they come. I don't know why everyone keeps targeting me. Maybe they get publicity by using my name. Nothing happened in Kolhapur. If there was some other girl in my place even she would've gone through the same thing. People treat me normally wherever I go. I don't know why these small town people created such a ruckus. Nowadays I don't even feel like going for a party. When I went that day for Mika's party, I went to relax and unwind after a long day at work. I didn't even expect something like that to happen. But I will fight for justice. I will see him punished. I know that I'm doing the right thing. I don't know when I'm going to get justice for this. As far as the controversy about Avanti Birla and the diamond ring is concerned, I would like to ask who she is. She says that she doesn't know any Rakhi Sawant so even I don't know any Avanti Birla. And I don't want to talk about this. You know people are not interested in my personal life and I don't care if people have a wrong image of me. I have gone through a lot in my life and life has taught me a lot at a young age. People don't need to know the real Rakhi Sawant. Why should they? I'm a down to earth person. I respect myself tremendously. Women have supported me in this world more than men. I don't like the way men look at me. It's lust that I see in their eyes. There is no respect. After the Mika controversy, I met so many women, who told me that I was doing the right thing. It didn't matter to them whether I wore short clothes or did item numbers. They treated me like a woman. EPISODE 07 "JAB TAK YOUNG HOON, BIK RAHEE HOON" I haven't seen a single day of peace in my life. I don't think happiness connects with me at all. It runs away from me. Mera nata hai gum se… mera asli saathi wahi hai. I've been working so hard and when people see me and recognize me, they like my work, that's when I breath freely. I know God is there and he's looking. When someone like me who comes from down there, who is so firmly rooted, I don't think I'll ever let success go to my head. I've seen some worse days of my life… People take advantage of me because of my job. I have to tell them, that that's my job. Please try and separate the reel from the real. But after a while you have to ignore people. I don't think there is a time limit for my work. Jab tak young hoon, bik rahee hoon, tab tak chalta rahega. I don't know about tomorrow. I just might become a director. I want to direct music videos. I also want to start the Rakhi Sawant Dance Academy but I'm searching for a piece of land to construct my academy. I'm sure the response to it will be great. I don't get scared of the camera. My closest friend is the camera. I flirt with the camera. My bold image comes from my heart. This is me. Unless you don't feel it from inside, you can never feel sensuous. I worship my work and I work with 100% honesty. Yes I hardly eat. I want to eat all these normal things but I can't. So the entire week I workout like crazy and then pig out on Sundays. Otherwise through the day, I have one fruit juice, some sprouts, some fruits and that's it. I don't eat regular food. I work out for about 3 hours in the morning and evening. If ever I have to relive my life, I wish to be born in a Star's home. I'll have to struggle less because I know I have lived my life through hell. I've struggled so much that I can't do it all over again. Otherwise God, don't give me a life! Today if everything goes away, I can start all over again. I have that much courage in me. But now I won't have to struggle so much. I have been through fire. I feel proud of myself. There hasn't been a day when I haven't remembered my past life. Everyday when I get up I get flashes of what has gone by. I do feel frustrated at times but then I can't run away. Where do I go? When all these thoughts come to mind I have 2-3 pegs and sleep off at home. I keep my feelings to myself. I haven't had any friends since my childhood. I'm a loner. I talk a lot but I like to be by myself. I don't have any close friends till date. My sister had a lot of friends and wherever she would go she would always make friends. It never happened with me. Maine apni zindagi kabhi jee nahin hai…I have spent my whole life struggling and working. I don't know when I'll get to live it. Even today I'm either shooting or I'm doing shows or I'm working out in the gym. I want to keep busy all the time. I don't want a single moment idle. As far as future is concerned I'm ok with doing any roles. Once the item girl tag goes away, I don't mind doing roles of bhabhi and even maa. I want to do serials but only Ekta Kapoor's shows. Maybe like others, even I'll have 4 husbands in one show [Laughs]. I was the one who started doing item numbers in her shows. Now she's got new girls. (Rakhi has done Item Numbers for Kkusum, Kutumb…) I have been running around for a long time now. I have a mole on my feet so people say that I will keep running around.... As told to Mona Vaidya