Anandi's pain is not because of child marriage - Page 4

Originally posted by: nniks

I didnt go through the whole thread but by reading some of the posts I can make out almost everybody is distraught with their MILs.
Any girl who goes into a new family will have adjustment issues either with MIL,husband or relatives.
Usually In Indian arranged marriage people just consider the financial status of the guy...An NRI guy would mean a secure future for their daughter so people marry off their daughters without considering the future aspects.
1st of all one should be clear what do we want from marriage ?
Do we want to remain working...or leave job...all these things should be cleared with Inlaws before marriage.
I have always been rebellious even my parents had hard time controlling me 😛...I was not a wild child but I had my set of ideas and values and I never compromised on them.
I was very clear tht I would continue working after marriage.
I recall now during my groom hunting days and guy and his family had come to see me.Tht guy was from my company only...I had just become permanent after trainning period...he asked me my appraisal rating !!😲
I told him its against company policies U should be knowing it ur from same company 😆
And his sis asked me what are ur household hobbies 😕...As If sweeping and cleaning would be a hobby 😆
I told her truth ...tht I didnt do any household work...I could even make a chapati 😆
needless to say tht proposal didnt go thorugh...I didnt like tht guy anyways 😳

Fortunately I have got an understanding hubby and in laws...My MIL is very nice but we do have some issues because of generation gap...
I just listen to everyone and do as I please...I am never rude to anyone but now everybody in my sasural knows tht I am headstrong girl and will do what I feel is right so nobody bothers me much 😛
Just close ur mind and ears ignore the taunts and dont ans back...be very good in front of ur husbands...guys r pretty dumb they believe what they see.They r tigers when they r with their mothers and become tame cats with wives 😆 so better stay in a nuclear family.
Learn to ignore things...apna khoon kyun jalana kisi aur ki baat par...just live ur life ur way and to hell with others.

Originally posted by: earth1978

then i decorate my house as best as i cn in my means. keep it nicely.

it engages me.

actually i still get quite depressed at times but thats what i do to cheer myself up.

teh thing is u really cannot do anything about inlaws and their chauvinistic attitude, it pains it hurts but it is usual expected ... u can think of me and i can think of u when depressed and we will feel tad betetr as not just us but countless many r in the same boat. it is not just them who is doing the talking it is entire ceenturies of socila conditioning nd norms which r behind their talks, they r almost impossible to reason with or improve.

the thing which really made my life better is my daughter and her love. she loves me sooo much that i dont care for others' bad opinions n m finally happy.

there is no permanent solution to inlaws problems only solution is evasion.

and creating a gratifying life for ourselves by engaging in what we like and trainign our minds to e least affected by their puraatan soch and their senseless egoistic jabber.

hope this helps.

take care.

Had there bn no such social evil like child marriage, Anandi's life wd Hv bn different...
Now that Jyoti cd b successfully rescued out of it...n she can live on her own terms..Atleast till her adult marriage for which she wd accept the responsibility as a major...domestic violence by emotional abuse by inlaws/ husband is altogether a different scenario that can not b linked to Anandi's cause of pain...

So... the entire story had started with a social evil called child marriage,n all the miseries r offshoots of this alone...
Gauri was saved from this like Jyoti ,hence she cd become strong willed rather the domestic conditioning of doormatism...

Any social evil has to be faught with all means...The enforcement agencies,ngo s, all public servants, especially media...
Media played a powerful role as we can see in the case of AIDS...
unfortunately not there at the time of her marriage...
No role of enforcement agencies except teacherji who was unsupported by local police/collector...was there in stopping Anandi's marriage...
Just like Jyoti cd not resist her parents out of fear,Anandi also cd not resist it out of fear...first of all she had absolutely no idea of what marriage means...

Now Anandi's mission is to prevent such wounds (she received from the social evil), to the girls like her (which support she cd not afford in her life), that hurt her bad...

The only pain Anandi is having that she cd not windback the clock that robbed away her life by the social evil...she was thankful that the collector cd understand her fight 4 right ...

Originally posted by: di_vya

Yes, you're right! Girl's parents are also to blame. Even they give more importance to damaad!

The sad thing is it cuts across all religions and continents. Everywhere the girl leaves home after marriage to join husband's family! And then the test begins. 🤢😡

mona mein bhi shaadi nahi karna chahti thi tub meri mummy samjhaati thin ki shaadi kar lo to main kehti thi woh cruel nikla to tub mummy kehti thin ki aisa khuchh nahi hoga phir aage jaake main shaadi ko raaji hui and i have get really very nice husband .

OMG!!..finally i have gone through all the posts..and the things u people r saying...i have seen it in my work place's washroom too!! 😆 😆...gals in groups r discussing "how bad their in-laws are"! and we, the unmarried gals, discuss that "are we also gonna be like them after marriage?..discussing about how bad our in-laws are all the time!?" 😆 😆...so this discussion reminds me of my work place's washroom discussion! 😛 🤣

Originally posted by: surabhi01

mona mein bhi shaadi nahi karna chahti thi tub meri mummy samjhaati thin ki shaadi kar lo to main kehti thi woh cruel nikla to tub mummy kehti thin ki aisa khuchh nahi hoga phir aage jaake main shaadi ko raaji hui and i have get really very nice husband .

Originally posted by: monamie111

LOL..i am not married so i have not gone through any tests yet...but my mom always says it...after marriage u will got the lesson..tab akkal thikane aayegi teri! 😕

even i feel nervous and scared sometimes thinking that what will happen if the people at my husband's house will not be pleased with me in future? i feel it is my responsibility to please all of them by my behavior, by my work...and if they will not be pleased that means i am not a good wife or a good DIL!! don know if any guy thinks this way about his "after marriage life"!?...do the guys also feel its their responsibility to please their in-laws through their work...their behavior after their marriage? 🤔

i am also short tempered pur kabhi kabhi pur jaise hi apni dil ki bhadaas nikaal leti hoon mere gussa shant ho jaata hai .to family mein sabhi jaante hain ki isko gussa aayega lekin iska gussa khuchh der baar shant bhi ho jaayega.phir se normal baat cheet hone lagti hai .pur gussa karne ke baad mujhe sleep karna achha lagta hai

@ momamie