Anandi's pain is not because of child marriage - Page 5

@ divya

Originally posted by: earth1978

@ divya

the need not be cordial with his inlaws at all.

he may never visit them, or visit them briefly but make the wife toil fo rhis parents.

the very first system the gilr looses in indian marriage is her support system. she is forced to conform to others' ideas again due to the mentality drilled into her that now his family is hers and well hers is not his and hers is not hers nw as well.

it is the damn society behind all this again becuase they want bahus to fit the mould of a slave.

i may get up at 6 in my own house but in sasural i make it a point to get up at 7. i dont want to be dictated around ... i am doing the entire cooking so yes u can make a cup of tea and have it too.

also i sleep in the afternoon becuase i need rest to serve u people. get the idea ... now stop expecting me to be a robot!

BTW did u read mt previous message about cooking? please do , i wud be glad if u join the club. dont let the negativity keep u from cooking. its sheer delight and easiest way to impress just anyone in the world!

Originally posted by: earth1978

@ momamie

unmarried girls are living in fools paradise. u consider that rude?

well i found u r saying " will we be discussing how bad our inlaws are all the time " as extremely rude. tgose gilrs are probably sharing their problems with each other becuase they have no one else to turn to. and u ppl are poking fun at them.

there is one very good saying : u can never really judge a woman untill u have stepped into her shoes and walked a mile in them.

i offer u no consolation. 99 % indian inlaws are all the same so unless ur extremely lucky to be within that 1% , u will find ot all about it after marriage. and one thing i can guarantee you even tose one percent will have sons who will always keep ther blood relations above their wife for a significant amount of time to come. thats how indian men are raised its wired intot heir DNA. then u will see why those gilrs and we for that matter were saying what we were saying.

Originally posted by: di_vya

See that's the difference. Suddenly the onus is on the girl to please her in-laws. Guys also must be feeling the same. However, the difference is in the intensity.

Girl has to leave family and come among strangers and live with them as their primary family from then on. So she needs to 'please' them every single time.

However, guys would be cordial to the girl's parents whenever he interacts with them, which is not very often. So, the pressure on him his far lesser.

The difference is also in terms of expectations from both. A guy is just expected to be a good person, respectful towards elders and loving towards his wife. And be professionally well-placed.

A girl, however, has to be good at many small things - cooking, household work, be polite always and yes, should be the first one to wake up. 😕

Another difference is that if the SIL makes a mistake, he is not (or rarely) scolded. But if a girl makes a mistake, she will have to bear an earful.

I don't like this post of mine. Am I turning cynical?

Originally posted by: sreevask

Had there bn no such social evil like child marriage, Anandi's life wd Hv bn different...
Now that Jyoti cd b successfully rescued out of it...n she can live on her own terms..Atleast till her adult marriage for which she wd accept the responsibility as a major...domestic violence by emotional abuse by inlaws/ husband is altogether a different scenario that can not b linked to Anandi's cause of pain...

So... the entire story had started with a social evil called child marriage,n all the miseries r offshoots of this alone...
Gauri was saved from this like Jyoti ,hence she cd become strong willed rather the domestic conditioning of doormatism...

Any social evil has to be faught with all means...The enforcement agencies,ngo s, all public servants, especially media...
Media played a powerful role as we can see in the case of AIDS...
unfortunately not there at the time of her marriage...
No role of enforcement agencies except teacherji who was unsupported by local police/collector...was there in stopping Anandi's marriage...
Just like Jyoti cd not resist her parents out of fear,Anandi also cd not resist it out of fear...first of all she had absolutely no idea of what marriage means...

Now Anandi's mission is to prevent such wounds (she received from the social evil), to the girls like her (which support she cd not afford in her life), that hurt her bad...

The only pain Anandi is having that she cd not windback the clock that robbed away her life by the social evil...she was thankful that the collector cd understand her fight 4 right ...

I agree to the original post BUT would it have not been easier for Anandi to deal with it if she had been an adult? Easier to deal with a patriarichal society when you have your whits about you. Its hard enough dealing with it as an adult but as a child... I don't know. Atleast, an older Anandi would have been stronger if not more capable to handle the abuse. But as a child, she was a victim. She should have been protected. So at the end, yes its because of the patriarichal society but Anandi's horror began at an age where she should have been playing with dolls... she would have been better equiped at even 18... all around, this was child abuse.

Very nice post!

Yes, Anandi's pain is a result of the betrayal of J, may be.. She always assumed him to be her prince charming & all he did was to break her poor heart.. And the incompetency u mentioned will be the perfect word..

True, these difficulties made Anandi a person that she is now! Hardships often mould personalities.. Aanandi isn't an exception.

@ momamie

fantastic analysis of Anandi's situation, this forum is truly blessed with awesome ppl who come up with such brilliant posts...its always a treat to come here n read such wonderful posts... tq u

Originally posted by: di_vya

Do you remember how Dadisa forced Gauri to eat only after Jagya has finished eating and Gauri could not refuse?

Her marriage after crossing 18 years could not save her fromthis torture.

I'm not saying child marriage is not evil. I'm just saying the root cause is gender bias. Child marriage makes it even worse.

Anandi is NOT fighting against gender biased system nor it is the serial's motto/message...neither the gender biased system is the sole cause for child marriage ...
The custom might Hv bn adopted in a different context to supply men for war time...of kingdoms.
Also the means of earning bread required physical power that might have caused the necessity n importance to males...
Now that the mental skills r able to earn bread that enable females to lead families...,,,,the only that need to be concentrated is to educate girls & make them economically independent to lead family...then only gender biased system cd b controlled ...
Parents play a great role in this...
Anandi shd accelerate awareness ,while Shiv shd enforce the law...then only social evils cd b eradicated...

DS might have enforced gender biased system long ago... But not now...Anandi might Hv suffered in the past due to gender biased system of DS...but its not the cause of her pain NOW...
There were NONE to rescue her from child marriage that caused a havoc in her life..& she wd fight to stop it for future generations...she required the government support n she got it that's keeping her confident in her mission & she is thankful n happy @ Shiv for his proactive cooperation..