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Balika Vadhu is my favourite show. In fact, it is the only serial that I religiously follow. It is a show that is doing great on both fronts - sticking to the BV line that it started with and still kept the storyine intact and impactful even today.
However, what our favourtie Anandi went through, was it only because of child marriage?
She entered a family led by Dadisa who has patriarchal mentality and deals with resistance in an autocratic manner. This led to the beginning of Anandi's hardships. She was made to conform to the belief that her role in the family will always be second to Jagya, that her sole purpose of being is to keep Jagya happy.
She cannot be better in studies than Jagya; will have to give up her educational pursuits. Her main task is to be able to cook good food; otherwise who would feed Jagya after Dadisa and Sumitra? She has to be a perfectionist in terms of household work; outside world is Jagya's domain. She can play and entertain herself, but only after all the household work is done.
But all of this is what many (not all - I know times are changing) of the married women in India hear, even those who did not undergo child marriage. Her role is still considered secondary to men.
Women are asked whether they are career-oriented or family oriented, as if both cannot co-exist. But a man is never asked this question.
If a man gets late in office, he is praised as somebody who is very hardworking. But if a woman gets late, she is immediately branded as somebody who does not care enough for her family!
A woman might be very bright and smart and as highly qualified as her husband, but she is still expected to be perfect - not just good - at cooking and home care.
In any discussion about her work, the praise is on the lines of how she is able to handle both work and family. Ever heard such a praise for a man?
A woman is expected to be careful of how she talks to her husband. She is told how she should never hurt his ego and should put forth her point tactfully. But a man is never given such instructuons - as if women do not and should not have self respect / ego.
I think the key reason for Anandi's hardships is this patriarchal mentality. This mentality is what made Anandi lose herself. From a bubbly, cheerful, confident and fun-loving person, she turned into a traumatised, demure self who accepted being second to her husband. Remember how she was justifying to Shiv Dadisa's stand of why women should eat after men have? This was the same Anandi who was so against eating the leftovers of her husband. And this change in character had happended much BEFORE Jagya abandoned her. She came to accept that she is less worthy; she started finding faults in herself and working towards being Jagya-worthy.
Jagya leaving her was not because of child marriage. It was again a manifestation of the patriarchal mentality. He never thought of Anandi as a person worthy of respect. For him she was just a sidekick who he abandoned the moment he got a chance - never gave a second thougth.
It was purely a case of adultery and cheating. Child marriage was used by him just as an excuse, the same way he used Anandi's 'orthodox' unmodern self as an explanation of why she was unworthy of him. He knew very well that Anandi could become "Gauri" if she was let to. That's why he opposed her studies and ensured she couldn't. Jagya left her because he wanted to, not because he married her in childhood.
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