Simran is being abused - Page 4

Minnie, You are free to disagree.....and its not a western concept. I grew up in India and only arrrived in the US in my late 20's.
As a child, neither of my parents, hit any of us. We were disciplined - but not in the corporal manner. My husband who is Swedish, too grew up in a family of 4 siblings and none of them were ever hit ,pinched or slapped.
Now as a mother of 2 - I know how taxing it can be - but there is still never a need to raise your hand on a child. Like I said before - discipline is about teaching and sometimes trying to do that in a non-corporal way takes more work. Its easier to raise your hand on a child when in frustration - but that teaches nothing but fear.
My younger sister was a handful as a child - and now, I can see how much patience and preserverence it must have taken my mum to discipline her..........but you know what - thats the way to go.

Now as parents, we dont raise our hands on our children and that will pass on to the next generation

There is ABSOLUTELY no excuse to raise your hand on a child. And, I hope more and more parents learn to discipline and teach values to kids in a non-corporal manner.

Its not a western cocept. I think its an important and difficult step in learning to be a good parent and disciplinarian.

i think astha is doing what exactly anyone else would do in that situation. Its Simran & Abhi's fault to hide everything from her and not treating astha as grown-up

I think hitting a child is not the solution esp an 18 year old. It'd only increase the contempt. But the problem is that Astha is being rewarded for her behaviour. Sia who seems to be very understanding, who spent her 18 years without her parents, and who now lives in India hoping to be a part of a family of her own is still without a proper family, whereas Astha's every stupid demand is being tolerated.

Unfortunately, that's how the real world operates. Someone who is more understanding is expected to stay that way forever and people just stop having any expectation from someone who is not!!! Is that fair?

Not facing any consequences for the action is not right and should never be done. I think Simran is wiping out all her good deeds by doing what she is doing now. It is one thing being forgiving towards your child's mistakes but the child needs to apologize first and I mean show it in action not just by words!

Originally posted by: wawahehe

Hitting a child is the easiest way of trying to discipline him/her - However, this is also the most short sighted approach.

I just hope people who are opining that Aastha needs to be slapped hard and left alone are not doing this to their kids in real life.

great point wawa!

umm, just out of interest, how do u think simran and/or abhi should handle this situation now?

I think be best person to refer aastha to would be Poonam. After all, Poonam WAS Neha's best friend, and she was there when Neha told Simran to bring up Gudiya as her own. (am i right?)

I agree that naming Gudiya Aastha was an unforseen mistake, as Aastha now feels like a pariah in her own home because she was named after her long-lost sister and somehow takes some of her identity away from her.

I dont think that aastha needs a few good slaps, since i agree with the person who said she's past the stage of fear from a slap, but a good talking-to. Abhi (and maybe even Simran) should sit aastha down one day and just tell her the whole story, like they did with Sia while in Goa. Aastha would understand a whole lot more that way, since I have learned that speaking calmly and rationally as grownups (especially to an 18 yr old) has more impact than yelling and slapping does. If Aastha would actually listen, things would be a whole lot easier for everyone.

hi wawa

ok , to a certain extent you are right in that sometimes they have been inconsiderate towards asthu's feelings...e.g when simran was telling her friend shekhar the details about what had happened (this episode is yet to be seen in usa i think)...she did refer to sia as her astha that had been kidnapped...this, i can understand, to be something that hurts asthu...however, what i think you don't appreciate is the other stuff they have done in asthu's favour...how they have tried to win her over, how they have been tolerant because they have seen that she is vulnerable...and their are other instances as welll...

regarding sia being reprimanded, i think that is all still ongoing and i don't think they are fully aware as to what sia did....once they realize, then we can judge whether she just gets a reprimand and whether asthu get tougher treatment....

To be honest mate, I'm not convinced - no matter how objectively I read your comments - that they are being partial to sia...yes, there have been a very few instances where they have been insensitive to asthu, but on the whole, i keep thinking they have been partial to asthu and not sia...but that is my thinking and nobody else has to agree with it....

your suggestion of holiday minus sia may well work... i don't know, but i think as far as this story goes, they are steering the story towards something else, and hopefully, something quite creative...I still maintain, that whilst at the moment asthu is forging an alliance with kiran, it will be the same astthu that saves the day when she realizes who and what kiran stands for...

you see, i'm not anti-asthu - i think that nowhere in my postings have i written anything to indicate that....i actually think she can be quite a sweet fun luvly girl who is ay too spoilt and who has been dealt a bad hand of cards at the moment...it isn't her fault simran hid the truth from her and it isn't her fault abhi didn't stick it out... in fact, she has not done that much wrong and others have her dark side has come out...

Perhaps, as you say, if they calmly sat down to talk with her then she would understand...perhaps...but i don't think so....i think she should first calm down, relax, and ask then calmly what is going on? what has happened? she wants to know...if she shows just a little bit of maturity (it doesn't have to be grandmotherly) then that could provide the stepping board to a better situation... but she has to calm down... nshe has to change her attitude, and that is something nobody else can do for her by just waving a magic wand....

anyway wawa/rak201 - great to have read your views - please feel free to reply to this also...it'll make it interesting...

cheers

Originally posted by: innocentindian

hi wawa

ou see, i'm not anti-asthu - i think that nowhere in my postings have i written anything to indicate that....i actually think she can be quite a sweet fun luvly girl who is ay too spoilt and who has been dealt a bad hand of cards at the moment...it isn't her fault simran hid the truth from her and it isn't her fault abhi didn't stick it out... in fact, she has not done that much wrong and others have her dark side has come out...

sorry to butt in.. but I have to agree to II, one cannot be anti-Astha. She has been hurt and Simran and Abhi need to do something about it. And am sure Astha will emerge a winner, once she realizes what Kiran's motives are. She has the courage, the spirit in her to fight back what she feels is injustice.. it is just that the methods she uses are not right.

1) vazz - ui ain't buttin' in - it's an open forum and all views are welcome

2) vazz - well put

3) I did say i am not anti-asthu, but i really should say that at the same time i am most definately pro-simran...(and pro-asthu as well i suppose, but not as much as simran 😉 ) ......but i may have other illogical reasons for this...

I am in US and we are far behind India..Yesterday I was watching the episode when Simran and Abhi got married and were gifted their honeymoon tickets..I felt very bad for Astha at that time..Sia asks Sid to take out their gift and asks Astha to give it to them with her even without telling her what it was..I mean they never involved Astha in any plans of those tics to Mount Abu and tell her at the last minute that it is a gift also from her..she is bound to get irriated..I am not sure if they had consulted her in the last episode...But that was not fair at all..Similarily Sia trying to do things on her own and being overly sweet to Astha, I mean she just tries to overdo it, which is bound to make the other person insecure just the way Astha is..as she knows Simran is not her real mother but Sia's..that feeling will not go from her heart that easily..I am not supporting Astha's acts here, but I am not going to blame her completely either..they hide everything from her..at least take her into confidence and tell her everything...if she comes to know the truth from a 3rd person, she's bound to be more insecure..