Sakshi's heart cracked into two as she found her husband, the man she loved so much, profess undying love to that strange woman.
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as every word of his felt like a slap against her cheek, every word burnt her belief on the foundations she preached on for marriage.
He didn't love her, in spite of all that she ever did...
Her eyes blurred as she saw Arjun hastily making his way to her, his eyes wide in panic. The other woman gasped and tried to say something to her.
Sakshi felt used, filthy and nothing short of a commodity.
Arjun reeled in shock as Sakshi pushed against his chest, howling silently.
"Sakshi, love, please listen to me."
Sakshi raised her hand to silence him, her knees wobbled as her world spiralled before her.
"SAKSHI!" Arjun screamed and followed Sakshi who ran back to the hotel.
Riya stood, feeling terrible and guilty. She couldn't bear the fact that she would be the second woman in anyone's life.
As she looked at the retreating back of Arjun's, she looked on. Arjun may have claimed to love her the most but what could explain the sense of loss and pain in his eyes when Sakshi lay heartbroken?
"Sakshi, baby, please open the door." Arjun knocked the door and rang continuously but to no avail.
"Sweetheart it is NOT what you think! I will never cheat on you, please open the door."
Just as he confessed, Arjun heard a loud crash.
Arjun hurried to the reception to get a spare card for his room.
Every word he said swirled in her head.
Happy with Sakshi? Yes there's trust and faith and the longing I have for her... but I couldn't love her the way I loved you. My heart doesn't jump with joy when I see her, my blood doesn't pound in my ears when she speaks to me, I don't see the universe before my eyes when I make love to her...
"But no love... there never was." Sakshi whispered furiously to herself. Suffocated and exhausted, Sakshi couldn't take it that she wasn't loved.
"Who asked you to marry me then! I didn't need the favour of being wed to you..." She cried out and leaned against the wall. Wiping her tears with the back of her hand she got an entire view on her marriage.
They had sex and she cried because she felt unaccepted... to make up for it, Arjun married her.
That's all that ever happened.
It was desire, lust and faith... love never came into the picture.
Running her hands through her hair, Sakshi looked into the mirror; she wasn't a child to not know that love doesn't happen at first touch or with anybody.
Oh it hurt so much. Every night they spent together felt vile for Sakshi, did he continue to sleep with her so as to she felt reassured?
Of course! He apparently never did anything during the day, there weren't any fleeting kisses which came along intimacy. It was routine, to have it before they slept.
Compelled and forced. Is this what he felt after the first few months of their marriage?
"You could have told me! I would have left you if that meant your happiness!" Sakshi screamed to the mirror and paused to take a deep breath.
She heard Arjun knock the door again, pleading her.
But when he confessed that he loved her, his words pierced into her bleeding heart.
He didn't love her, he didn't need to give her false promises.
Crying on her ill luck, the pain seemed too hard for her to take it in.
She had to lessen the pain, it was too much.
With that she swept everything off the table, breaking everything.
Stumbling to the washroom, she washed her face repeatedly with ice cold water and calmed herself down.
It's fine, it's completely fine.
Communication is the way in a relationship... how could she forget that. "Bad Sakshi! Arjun would be so hurt that you didn't even let him speak. And don't you trust him? Won't you at least speak to him? After that, leave." Nodding vigorously to herself in front of the mirror, she got out of the washroom and began to collect the broken cosmetics and perfumes from the floor.
"Sigh! If Arjun sees any of this then he would be so disappointed." She continued to murmur and throw the trash.
His heart beat furiously against his chest, dread coursed through his veins.
Sakshi couldn't... s... she couldn't hurt herself!
He cursed himself and ran all the way to his room. The card slipped from his hand as his fingers trembled with fright. Resolving his strength, he prayed fervently for her safety.
A big sigh of relief escaped his lips as he found Sakshi sitting on the floor, mumbling incoherently.
With an oath, he ran towards her and took her into a hug.
"Arjun, it's okay. I was just so rude... I apologise for it!" Sakshi smiled weakly and went back to collecting glass pieces. "No, please listen to me what happened there was not what you saw."
Arjun looked on helplessly as Sakshi nodded and continued to throw things in the trash. "I am not questioning you, I was certainly taken aback though." She murmured.
"Sakshi, listen to me please!" He cupped her cheeks as she wriggled out of his grip "Arjun, kya kar rahe ho? I am listening to you right? But first let me clean up, kaanch hai... kahi lag na jaye! Bohot chubhegi."
"Chubh rahi hai! You're bloody not speaking to me... this isn't the Sakshi I know. Baby fight me, hit me... let it out what you're thinking and... OH GOD!" Arjun gasped as he took in her bloodied hands.
As Sakshi was stuffing everything into the bin, she hadn't even noticed that the broken pieces of glass had pierced her hands terribly. Sakshi took her hands away from Arjun and continued to throw the other pieces, not bothering about the wounds.
"SAKSHI STOP." Arjun yelled and she stilled, her face paling rapidly. "Arjun, please don't scream... just give me few minutes to clean the room and remove the stains - you'll be happy then, right?"
Arjun experienced a sharp pang of guilt and anguish as Sakshi wobbled to clean the mess. "I don't want the room clean, listen to me... I just need you to sit next to me. Please."
Sakshi looked at his face and dusted her hands, not wincing at the raw glasses jabbed in her palms "Please? Arjun... don't be angry, give me a few seconds... I'll just wash my hands and come. Just stay here."
Her rant stopped as Arjun grabbed her hands and made her sit on the bed. Fetching an aid kid, he gently removed the bloodied glass and tended to the wounds on her hands.
"You've hurt yourself so much." He whispered while she barely smiled "My hands are lucky enough to show the wounds which bleed."
Crouching next to her, Arjun wrapped his arms around her waist and continued to apologise.
"For what?" Sakshi whispered.
Arjun looked up to find a lost Sakshi staring at him "What are you apologising for?"
"The extent I've hurt you... till date. I realise that I haven't been the best husba..."
"Did I not know that you are a tough man to be with? Did I not know that you hadn't ever professed your love for me? Did I not know all that? Then it's my fault that I hurt myself with bare expectations... it's not your fault love." She mumbled as she placed a chaste kiss on his head.
"No Sakshi, you are precious to me!" He cupped her cheeks while Sakshi threw her head back, laughing.
"Precious? Pray give me a reason for stripping me in public!" Arjun looked into her red eyes and failed to understand "Sakshi... what are you..."
Sakshi closed her eyes and swallowed painfully "She may be a lot to you to know everything about the stranger of a husband I have, but you're still my husband."
She placed a finger on his lips to silence him "You don't see the universe when you make love to me. You saw the stars with her... "
Arjun's eyes widened "Anything Arjun... you could tell me anything about me, to me. But you preferred to sacrifice the sanctity of our intimacies as a bar between the women of your life?"
Not a word dropped out of his mouth as he realised the gravity of his words. Mortification and guilt made him close his eyes and sink on the bed, his words reiterating like poison in his head.
"I'm sorry..." He whispered and hesitantly held her hand while a broken Sakshi sat by him.
"Ardhangani, patni, saathi, biwi ,sahaydharmini, wife, consort or spouse - all yours. Without you, a part of who I am ceases to exist."
"I don't want to stay without you Sakshi..."
"When were you with me?" The question was merely above a whisper, but it broke Arjun's heart to pieces.
Sakshi took a deep breath and calmed her earlier frenzy. Stepping aside, she loosened Arjun's grip around her wrist and sat at the head of the bed.
Resting her back at the headrest, she beckoned a morose Arjun.
Cupping his face tenderly, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips "I don't need justifications or excuses, just tell me everything... for a change."
She ran her fingers absentmindedly through his hair as he placed his head on her lap and hugged her tight. Sakshi laughed at her irony, they were so close... yet so far.
"Tell me... don't be afraid." She hummed as Arjun's grip grew firmer.
"I don't want to lose you..." He confessed while she chuckled "Burdens, responsibility and duty are never lost."
"I cease to exist beyond that Arjun, at least as a friend... tell me everything." She caressed him gently while he frowned and shut his eyes.
"It was on eleventh July, 1997..."
Riya finished her glass of wine and sat at the edge of the beach. The waves splashed violently against her but the cool water did nothing to tame her wild heart.
Sakshi's eyes... she could never forget them.
The pain etched in her eyes, the tears... oh how foolish Riya was!
"What did I do?" Riya whispered to herself as she recalled her frivolous self from years ago.
How could have she lost the man who meant the world to her... how could she ever say that she had tried again and again to contact him but his mother forbid her?
How could she say that she had returned years back to only find him far away?
How could she say that she never stopped loving him?
How could she ever say that the only reason she left the States and returned to Mumbai months ago was only for Arjun?
Riya bit her lips and realised that a single mistake of hers destroyed four lives.
For the first time she dropped the act of being strong and broke down.
"I was just so angry when I saw her again... it made me say things I would have never said otherwise." He whispered against the fabric on her stomach while Sakshi sighed.
Still caressing his cheeks Sakshi said "But you would have never said them if you hadn't felt it... how would have the thought come otherwise?"
Arjun got up and cupped her cheeks, brushing his warm lips over hers "Sakshi... please forget all that. These... these things never happened..."
After a very long time Arjun initiated a passionate kiss. Hungry for more, he brought out his animalistic side as he nipped her with fervour.
A weak Sakshi held on to the burning torment from her husband and moaned helplessly under the assault of his mouth and tongue.
Yet just when she felt his moist breath fan the bare skin of her breasts, her eyes flew open and she shot up from the bed. "Sak.." Arjun stared as Sakshi hastily placed a pillow in front of her and clumsily reach for her capris from the floor.
Not bothering to reach for his shirt, he followed a hassled Sakshi who slipped on her bra and turned towards him "No Arjun."
"What? Wait, I am sorry... so sorry... I shouldn't have, especially when you're not ready and I've hurt you so muc..." Arjun regretted.
"Oh no..." Sakshi interrupted him "I... I can't have it with you knowing that you don't see the stars." She almost chewed her tongue in spitting out the words, but it needed to be said.
"Sakshi, it's not what you think!" Arjun came closer but Sakshi stepped back "Arjun, I know very well that you aren't having any affair nor were you and Ri... yeah Riya involved in anything immoral. I know that very well, but the matter is that your pleasure means a lot for me."
Blinking away the rapidly forming tears she continued "I can't have it when I know it doesn't please you and over that you might be probably doing it to keep me happy, I know this sounds horrible but I need to let this off my chest."
Arjun cursed and wiped the tears from her face "No love, that's not the case. It does make me happy too..." Sakshi sniffed and gently pushed his hands aside "I feel disgusted of myself Arjun, as simple as that."
Giving him a wobbly smile, she cupped his stubbly jaw and placed her head against his bare chest "Your happiness means the most for me. Your heartbeats makes mine live too, you know. I am selfish enough to keep you bound to me but I am afraid... I love you so much that I want to let you go."
"Sakshi!" Arjun gasped and hugged his quivering wife. "Have you ever checked why Riya did what she did... for a woman who loved you so much, couldn't it just be growing carelessness... perhaps she realised the gravity of her situations later." Sakshi suggested, trying to control the tightening of her chest as she realised that Arjun had stilled patting her head and was lost in deep thought.
"You can't love another woman so you should stop trying Arjun. Riya has made such an effect in your life that it just changed you completely... ek baar dekho toh sahi ki kya hua tha..." Sakshi's lips trembled as realisation dawned on Arjun's face.
"Sakshi... I will never leave your side." He whispered and walked into the bathroom while Sakshi gave a mirthless chuckle to herself
"One doesn't need to walk away to be left alone."
Gone to the restaurant for supper.
Arjun read the little note that his wife left and thought to himself.
He saw the still strewn shirt of hers on the floor and asked himself for the reasons why he ever touched Sakshi.
Folding the shirt into the cupboard he realised that he never touched Sakshi because of his want. That had been secondary... drawing strength from her had always been his primary goal.
She soothed him, healed him... what about her?
Perplexed by the questions, he found the answer in front of him.
The only way to solve his life was to speak to the woman who still made his heart race,
Bollywood
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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