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****
One day. An otherwise random unremarkable day had changed the course of his life.
His mind was running wild. The jarring pain which caused bile to creep up his throat was a blaring reminder of what he had lost back then.
A while later, he was tired of the platitudes being offered. For he knew, none knew what it truly felt like. None would know.
Today, a year later, it felt like no time had passed. Though if it hadn't, he wouldn't be staring into the darkness.
Ahead of him stood the unmistakable outline of the Emergency Task Headquarters, a sanctum, they had all built with their hardwork and nourished with sweat and blood, quite literally. An organisation that boasted of brave and patriotic officers ready to kill and be killed in the line of duty, was not the same anymore.
Though it backfired upon them quite a few times, they couldn't have cared less. Throughout their life, they had followed their hearts, fought for justice and strived for the truth, come what may. And maybe that is what made them special, to him.
He'd been an unruly, jaded cop; damaged goods as everyone referred to. A scarred and soured soul, wronged by destiny and abandoned by loved ones.
It hadn't been easy adjusting into a team, where everyone was so unlike him, vibrant and devoted to each other.
But slowly, as time passed, he had come to realise that if this is what had been lacking in his life in the years that he had shunned everyone. A ray of hope.
***
Looking into his eyes and pretending as if it didn't matter was getting tougher day by day. Sameer Rathore probably knew him way better than he gave him credit for.
Undoubtedly, a friend he could turn to when it got too much to bear, but his pride and hurt didn't let him walk over to the other side and mend the fences between them.
Then again, words were never needed between the two of them, or so he believed. They watched each other's backs, silently offered explanations when the other wasn't looking, but those three words were never said.
With Rathore's transfer to Delhi, he was handed charge of leading the able team, his efficient chief had molded them into. And yet, he had failed his best friend, all over again.
Now, there was no way he could look into those piercing dark eyes and apologise, for he knew no amount of grieving or penance would make up for it.
A friend, his own thoughts echoed through his head and he fought the tears now stinging at the corner of his eyes.
They weren't the quintessential officers one would expect to find at the ETF, but he knew he had been mistaken when he saw them tackling nerve wracking cases with a composure and enthusiasm, that was contrasting in nature.
One being a curly haired, bespectacled technical expert, a mastermind at the most back-breaking jobs one could only imagine; the other, a tall muscular man with the heart of a child who often wore his heart on his sleeve.
He inwardly lurched at the thought of having lost them both. They feared him, he was well aware of it but he trusted them blindly, and he had made sure they knew it as well.
She used to wish him every morning, not caring about the fact that he hadn't returned her pleasant smile ever. Once at work, they were the fierce, dedicated cops, they were supposed to be.
But there were times, when a ticking bomb and fear of death made them shed their pretense and embrace each other warmly.
They weren't friends, but they weren't mere colleagues either; Ayesha Kapoor, the sassy Nadiya, a fearless cop and one more woman who could see right through him.
He looked up at the sky. Maybe he had lost out on what could have been another rock solid friendship, to cherish for life. Or had he?
A gothic looking girl had walked in one day, claiming to be their forensic specialist. Though taken aback at first, he was proved wrong by her on their first case together.
Yet another lesson learnt well; he should probably stop judging a book by its cover. Lisa D'cruz, an aide he believed in and respected earnestly.
He should have learnt his lesson then, but he didn't.
No. ACP Arjun Rawte made and broke his own rules. And he forgot his own lesson.
She practically barged into his life with her cheeky smiles and all over the place enthusiasm, annoying him with her silly questionings and irritating him with her apparent lack of seriousness expected of her.
Amongst pretending to ignore her and his failing attempts to overlook the glistening budding feelings in her eyes, he had begun to harbour a hope; a hope for the day, when he would be freed of the heavy burden of guilt and responsibilities.
Unaware to him, he had started looking forward to the sunrise, when a cup of steaming hot tea or a bunch of fresh roses would be waiting to welcome him at his desk. Despite the war raging within his conflicting mind and heart, Arjun hadn't succumbed to the temptation.
He knew exactly how much it hurt when dreams lay tattered beneath your own feet. And he never wanted the chirpy, annoying, warm-hearted girl to lose her smiles.
He wasn't strong enough to bear the guilt of claiming one more life, on his soul.
Sakshi Anand would live, the world needed more of what she had to offer.
****
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