Why MaAn want to keep a mother away from her child? - Page 9

Originally posted by: Rein123

Why are you assuming that an orphanage is an adoption centre by default? Yes there are parents who leave their kids at the orphanage without any specific instructions hence they cannot assume that rights have been relinquished or given up. Giving up rights on the child is another legal process. What is so hard to understand here?

@red comparing a living parent who may have temporarily dropped her child at a facility other than her home with some one who is considered dead makes no sense at all. Moreover even then if the person shows up back alive then what are you still going to say that person is dead? Fact is unless there is a paper where she signed that she has given up her rights as a parent the orphanage cannot assume CA is put up for adoption.

With due respect, you are talking about the scenario from the parents' point of view. The child is equally or may be more important here.

I can speak, in my limited capacity and knowledge about the process in India.

Some reference of Foster care guidelines:

1. https://vikaspedia.in/social-welfare/women-and-child-development/child-development-1/child-adoption/model-guidelines-for-foster-care

2.

Also, please help me understand:

1. The adoption centre/foster care/welfare centre works in the best interest of the Child. So, please help me understand how a child would benefit having to live in foster care without being allowed to be adopted and with a hope that one day, their parent(s) would come to give them a home, a family?

2. What is the definition of temporary? What is the duration?

Suppose the parent either does Not come or is unable to come back to the child after many years, the child slimmer chance to be adopted. How many children > 10 years usually get adopted?

So, for no fault of the child, they are made to suffer?

3. In India, Fostering is a precedent to Adoption. To ensure both the child and parents are able to bond amd fast track the otherwise lengthy adoption process.

Reference:

https://www.legalserviceindia.com/legal/article-192-foster-care-in-india-an-alternative-family-based-care.html

4. Under Section 108 of the Indian Evidence Act, 1872, a missing individual for over seven years is assumed dead. Notwithstanding, the said section is silent about the death's date and place, which a Competent Court can decide depending on the oral/documentary evidence before the Court.

I hereby rest my case.

Great Info!

I am shocked people are sympathizing so much with Maya, or it's their hate towards Anu as a mother, then I don't know.

So,basically if you have given birth to a parent,its okay to leave her at an orphanage, depriving her of her education and basic needs, and then come running back when things get better for you to claim back your child.

How will this not affect a child's mental health in the long run?

For all we know, Maya would have never come back to claim her child.

And neither do we know her back story, but people are already sympathizing with her.

Originally posted by: shubhK2308

Great Info!

I am shocked people are sympathizing so much with Maya, or it's their hate towards Anu as a mother, then I don't know.

So,basically if you have given birth to a parent,its okay to leave her at an orphanage, depriving her of her education and basic needs, and then come running back when things get better for you to claim back your child.

How will this not affect a child's mental health in the long run?

For all we know, Maya would have never come back to claim her child.

And neither do we know her back story, but people are already sympathizing with her.

You may not be familiar with india or asian orphanages

Once i visited an orphanage almost every child there had family or parents in some village or slum etc or mom was pregnant unwed and gave child to orphanage and married another man etc (obivously new hubby do not know she has baby out of wed lock)

Only reason they all were left at orphanage is their parents are very poor or ill or drunkards etc and family decided child needs better place to live and grow up

The orphanage owner said all had parents and some even siblings etc yet they were staying from 2 years or baby days or 5 years there

Most were not told they had family as it may make them mentally upset that they are in orphange although have family. They may run away searching for parent etc or go mentally depressed that they have grandparent, parent or siblings and yet

This is how most orphanage work in india and this was in big metro city

If someone visits orphanges more to donate etc and hears the kids story they know this is common in india orphanges. Parents or family give up kids to orjhangaes for better future for education and 2square meal and roof on head. In india more than 50% kids are similar kds who orphanage owner knows whose the parent

Since we are all brought up well by our family we cannot understand why a parent will give up child to orphanage. Also many orphange do not appreciate parent or family coming to meet child in india because than child will not be able to adjust to life in orphange once it get to know they have a family outside

In USA orphange is mostly kids who are abondoned by unknown people. Because for poor parent etc they have fostering and child montthly govt schemes food coupons etc so unwed mom or poor mom need not worry of child upbringing like india

Here 30% indians have no food 2 to 3 times a day how will they feed their kids or parents etc and by 30% its 70 Rupees a day earnings. Means if you can buy like 1 kg rice have no money to buy dal no veg no non veg no money for clothes no money for school or college no rent no vehicle yet you are considered above BPL in india. If like USA you have standards for BPL or poor more than 70% indians will be BPL only. In USA most city have more than 30,000 USD as average mioinimum pay. Thats like 24 lakh rupees in india which big company infosys/wipro GPMs will not get mostly per annum. Since most know this reality they sympathize with Maayaa.

Just because a mother or parent cannot feed her child and left in orphange and came back after 7 years or 10 years you cannot say shes bad unworthy of sympathy by comparing it to modern western society standards. Situation of india and USA is completely different wghich many compare. Atleast appreciate her for trying hard becoming rich and coming back to get her baby. Most parents will not even be like Maaya and leave their kids to God fate for life. Most parent will be so busy trying to get 2 meals a day they will never come back to their child ever.

I think if anuj truly wants to adopt let him adopt 5 kids who have no parent or family than make big issue of Maaya coming for CA.

Most here sympathize with Maay a because they know truth of indian society how unwed single mom treated by own family forget outsiders. And how tough its to live and look after a child for a single woman alone without job. 70% women with 12th or more degree are unemployed in india (read below)

Women’s labour force participation rate (LFPR) (20 per cent) is considerably low compared to men (56 per cent) as per annual PLFS (current weekly status) 2019-20. LFPR denotes total of employed and unemployed as a percentage of the population. LFPR (2019-20) stands at 38.3 per cent (ILO estimate — 46.2 per cent), which is low for India.

So why put blame on Maya for abondoning CA in orphanage. Thats most sensible thing she did till she could affaord CA 2 square meal and a home is it not? Blame the orhange owner because he knew all this yet sent CA with anuj kapadiya. Why because he did not want to lose lakhs anuj donates every year as hes a rich donor may be?

Was it ok with you folks if CA did not have food every day but was with Mayaa on roads walking office to office looking for job? Or Maya unable to send her kid to school athough shes 7 years or keep her in tatered clothes. I doubt CA would be alive only for malnutrition or die of some disesae without Maya affording her medicines by now if Maya kept with her. Atleast shes alive well off well fed well dressed and in school thanks to Maya leaving her in orphanage. Only those who do not know reality of life in india or asia will hate mayaa and think shes bad.

I think if we all who live in ivory palacesw thanks to our family get down from our dreamly life we know reality of Mayaas.

I cannot sympathize with anuj or anupama in this CA case no matter how much bad Maaya was. Indian society is cruel to single woman and unwed motheras and woman in general so she did correct to leave CA in orphanage. Asia and Africa 70% humans and kids live in extreme poverty lets not make them villans sitting in our ivory towers.

Have you read lionel messi he could not afford medicines for hormone growth so moved to play football at 12 to germany. Does that mean he hate his parents his parents abandoned him. Noo they saw an opportunity for better life better health for Messi so sent him far. Does that mean Messi should start hating his family his parents and trreat them as bad no of course hes mature enough to see why his parents did that and helped his family and siblings once he became a millionaire to make them to very rich. He did not grudge them for abondoning him to a club at 12 years. Isnt this familar story of many millionaire billionaire footballers. They are in extreme poverty taken up by clubs(think like orhanage only) and play and educate themselves became rich and than help their family up lifes ladder.

And here Mayaa is an only woman where is the father of CA not there where are her parents abandoned her for being unwed may be how much outside world must have troubled her tried to take advantage because sehes alone yet she fought and become rich and come for CA. We must not throw stones at her like anuj and anupama or barkha.

If anupama was abondoned by vanraj when toshu and pakhi were small and she had no anuj kapadiya thean she would be like Maaya only or worst as sghes not even as educated as Maaya. She would be cooking in school as maid or in garment factory work. Where would she live her kids than i would want to know with her mother or brother? If they also not there where in orphanage only no instead of starving them

Let us stop comparing USA with india. These single and unwed mothers are treated with lot of respect only. In india everyone knows how single woman is treated even in big cities no house on rent and men try to take advantage etc in office as well as society. Definetly single or unwed mothers in USA are million times more better off and respected by US society than an indian single woman or unwed mother. So definetly people sympathize with Maya at least the educated ppl may be not orthodox old aunties who are TRP givers.

Just for the record. There could be many many reasons for a parent to let go of a child. These are heartwrenching cases. None is debating that.

ALL that is presented, is the process followed in India. References cited.

Like I mentioned, there is the actual process and there is the "Anupama" version.

With regard to the show, "Any resemblance to reality is a distant dream".

Originally posted by: Snowstorm22

I am not sure, it is Maa as much as Anuj, who has grown close to Choti and have developed a bond. If you noticed it is Anuj who says all this not Maa.
The only thing that matters to Maa is how to keep her ATM happy and in her hand. Anupama, will say and do whatever Anuj wants her to do not because of what is good for Ca from a mother's point of view (not that she has a bond)but as a spouse who is afraid of losing her husband over him losing custody of this child he has bonded with and wants to adopt.

In my opinion it would be a lot better for drama if they made Anuj(I still think, they can)the father and kept Maya permanent in Ahmedabad. Both Anuj and Maya get joint custody with Ca stays with her mother, has weekly visit with Anuj, with every other weekend visits and alternative holidays and six weeks in summer, like divorce parents do in USA.

I get to see Maa having panic attack every time, Ca has issues, nightmares, and Anuj runs to his child’s house to deal with her issue🤣. Maa can’t say anything because unlike her grown kids, Ca is still a young child.😂 Every time Ca wants her parents to take her shopping or zoo, Anuj, can and will say sorry, Anu, I have plans with Maya and Choti, she wants us to take here and there.🤣

There is so much drama in keeping Maya/Anuj as bio parents. 🤣 Anupama will be having an insecurity-induced panic attack every time Anuj runs out the door for his daughter’s issues, and plans with her parents.🤣.. So much meaty drama.🤣

And, whenever she will be insecure she will keep on saying "Main aapse boohoot boohoot pyaar karti hoon"🤣. And, somehow try to keep him away from Maya🤣. Boohoot mazaa ayega🤣

Originally posted by: myviewprem

You may not be familiar with india or asian orphanages

Once i visited an orphanage almost every child there had family or parents in some village or slum etc or mom was pregnant unwed and gave child to orphanage and married another man etc (obivously new hubby do not know she has baby out of wed lock)

Only reason they all were left at orphanage is their parents are very poor or ill or drunkards etc and family decided child needs better place to live and grow up

The orphanage owner said all had parents and some even siblings etc yet they were staying from 2 years or baby days or 5 years there

Most were not told they had family as it may make them mentally upset that they are in orphange although have family. They may run away searching for parent etc or go mentally depressed that they have grandparent, parent or siblings and yet

This is how most orphanage work in india and this was in big metro city

If someone visits orphanges more to donate etc and hears the kids story they know this is common in india orphanges. Parents or family give up kids to orjhangaes for better future for education and 2square meal and roof on head. In india more than 50% kids are similar kds who orphanage owner knows whose the parent

Since we are all brought up well by our family we cannot understand why a parent will give up child to orphanage. Also many orphange do not appreciate parent or family coming to meet child in india because than child will not be able to adjust to life in orphange once it get to know they have a family outside

In USA orphange is mostly kids who are abondoned by unknown people. Because for poor parent etc they have fostering and child montthly govt schemes food coupons etc so unwed mom or poor mom need not worry of child upbringing like india

Here 30% indians have no food 2 to 3 times a day how will they feed their kids or parents etc and by 30% its 70 Rupees a day earnings. Means if you can buy like 1 kg rice have no money to buy dal no veg no non veg no money for clothes no money for school or college no rent no vehicle yet you are considered above BPL in india. If like USA you have standards for BPL or poor more than 70% indians will be BPL only. In USA most city have more than 30,000 USD as average mioinimum pay. Thats like 24 lakh rupees in india which big company infosys/wipro GPMs will not get mostly per annum. Since most know this reality they sympathize with Maayaa.

Just because a mother or parent cannot feed her child and left in orphange and came back after 7 years or 10 years you cannot say shes bad unworthy of sympathy by comparing it to modern western society standards. Situation of india and USA is completely different wghich many compare. Atleast appreciate her for trying hard becoming rich and coming back to get her baby. Most parents will not even be like Maaya and leave their kids to God fate for life. Most parent will be so busy trying to get 2 meals a day they will never come back to their child ever.

I think if anuj truly wants to adopt let him adopt 5 kids who have no parent or family than make big issue of Maaya coming for CA.

Most here sympathize with Maay a because they know truth of indian society how unwed single mom treated by own family forget outsiders. And how tough its to live and look after a child for a single woman alone without job. 70% women with 12th or more degree are unemployed in india (read below)

Women’s labour force participation rate (LFPR) (20 per cent) is considerably low compared to men (56 per cent) as per annual PLFS (current weekly status) 2019-20. LFPR denotes total of employed and unemployed as a percentage of the population. LFPR (2019-20) stands at 38.3 per cent (ILO estimate — 46.2 per cent), which is low for India.

So why put blame on Maya for abondoning CA in orphanage. Thats most sensible thing she did till she could affaord CA 2 square meal and a home is it not? Blame the orhange owner because he knew all this yet sent CA with anuj kapadiya. Why because he did not want to lose lakhs anuj donates every year as hes a rich donor may be?

Was it ok with you folks if CA did not have food every day but was with Mayaa on roads walking office to office looking for job? Or Maya unable to send her kid to school athough shes 7 years or keep her in tatered clothes. I doubt CA would be alive only for malnutrition or die of some disesae without Maya affording her medicines by now if Maya kept with her. Atleast shes alive well off well fed well dressed and in school thanks to Maya leaving her in orphanage. Only those who do not know reality of life in india or asia will hate mayaa and think shes bad.

I think if we all who live in ivory palacesw thanks to our family get down from our dreamly life we know reality of Mayaas.

I cannot sympathize with anuj or anupama in this CA case no matter how much bad Maaya was. Indian society is cruel to single woman and unwed motheras and woman in general so she did correct to leave CA in orphanage. Asia and Africa 70% humans and kids live in extreme poverty lets not make them villans sitting in our ivory towers.

Have you read lionel messi he could not afford medicines for hormone growth so moved to play football at 12 to germany. Does that mean he hate his parents his parents abandoned him. Noo they saw an opportunity for better life better health for Messi so sent him far. Does that mean Messi should start hating his family his parents and trreat them as bad no of course hes mature enough to see why his parents did that and helped his family and siblings once he became a millionaire to make them to very rich. He did not grudge them for abondoning him to a club at 12 years. Isnt this familar story of many millionaire billionaire footballers. They are in extreme poverty taken up by clubs(think like orhanage only) and play and educate themselves became rich and than help their family up lifes ladder.

And here Mayaa is an only woman where is the father of CA not there where are her parents abandoned her for being unwed may be how much outside world must have troubled her tried to take advantage because sehes alone yet she fought and become rich and come for CA. We must not throw stones at her like anuj and anupama or barkha.

If anupama was abondoned by vanraj when toshu and pakhi were small and she had no anuj kapadiya thean she would be like Maaya only or worst as sghes not even as educated as Maaya. She would be cooking in school as maid or in garment factory work. Where would she live her kids than i would want to know with her mother or brother? If they also not there where in orphanage only no instead of starving them

Let us stop comparing USA with india. These single and unwed mothers are treated with lot of respect only. In india everyone knows how single woman is treated even in big cities no house on rent and men try to take advantage etc in office as well as society. Definetly single or unwed mothers in USA are million times more better off and respected by US society than an indian single woman or unwed mother. So definetly people sympathize with Maya at least the educated ppl may be not orthodox old aunties who are TRP givers.

Infact it's appalling to see the way Anuj is treating Maaya. He's not even ready to hear her side of the story. Why? When Dimpy was raped he went all out to punish the criminals and gave her a home to stay. And, here he's not ready to give his adopted daughter to her biological mother. I too don't sympathise with Anuj and Anupama. I hope justice prevails and Maya gets her daughter back.

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

With due respect, you are talking about the scenario from the parents' point of view. The child is equally or may be more important here.

I can speak, in my limited capacity and knowledge about the process in India.

Some reference of Foster care guidelines:

1. https://vikaspedia.in/social-welfare/women-and-child-development/child-development-1/child-adoption/model-guidelines-for-foster-care

2.

Also, please help me understand:

1. The adoption centre/foster care/welfare centre works in the best interest of the Child. So, please help me understand how a child would benefit having to live in foster care without being allowed to be adopted and with a hope that one day, their parent(s) would come to give them a home, a family?

The child can be adopted but you need the biological parents consent and permission for it, if they allow well and good if not that means the biological parents intend to return back and reclaim their responsibility as parents, moreover adoption is not a guarantee that the child will be happy and do well either.

2. What is the definition of temporary? What is the duration?

Suppose the parent either does Not come or is unable to come back to the child after many years, the child slimmer chance to be adopted. How many children > 10 years usually get adopted?

Why would a child with living parents want to get adopted by some strangers in the first place? From what I believe they will still want to go back to their original parents only and wait for them till they come back unless they die.

So, for no fault of the child, they are made to suffer?

Firstly the child is not kept in an orphanage to make them suffer the intention is rather to reduce their suffering or to protect them from any other ordeal by staying with the parents, for example not being able to feed the child, mental instability, instability within the family, drug addiction, single parent in a comatose state who happens to be the only relative. If you as a child were in any of these situations would you prefer to be in an orphanage or left on the streets to fend for yourselves?

3. In India, Fostering is a precedent to Adoption. To ensure both the child and parents are able to bond amd fast track the otherwise lengthy adoption process.

It is a precedent no doubt but a temporary arrangement to test the waters and can be revoked any minute. Moreover if you are fostering someone that has parents you still need their consent and permission.

Reference:

https://www.legalserviceindia.com/legal/article-192-foster-care-in-india-an-alternative-family-based-care.html

4. Under Section 108 of the Indian Evidence Act, 1872, a missing individual for over seven years is assumed dead. Notwithstanding, the said section is silent about the death's date and place, which a Competent Court can decide depending on the oral/documentary evidence before the Court.

Assumed not declared dead, if the person were to show up then what?

I hereby rest my case.

Originally posted by: Fats24

And, whenever she will be insecure she will keep on saying "Main aapse boohoot boohoot pyaar karti hoon"🤣. And, somehow try to keep him away from Maya🤣. Boohoot mazaa ayega🤣

That is what I am saying. Even if nothing come of it (obviously, it will go far or end them as a couple,) just to see her this insecure, running after him saying, I love you so much and Choti. Will be worthy for me to watch.😂😂

I said few post back, I watched it happen here on USA day time tv soap, 18 years back, something similar. The mistress, becoming the wife, having a baby, but still couldn’t let go and live her happy life.

It was hilarious watching her spying, screaming, I love you, telling the kid, I love your dad and you, trying to cook like the ex-wife, breaking and entering to shredding her husband’s ex wife’s cloths. 🤣

All the ex-wife had to do was just live and try to move on. She was a mess.🤣

I want Anu to go through something similar. She is on cloud 9 thinking she is all that. I need her down few clouds.😂😂😂

karma can be great for her.😂😂 It will bring the ratings up.😂

Originally posted by: Snowstorm22

That is what I am saying. Even if nothing come of it (obviously, it will go far or end them as a couple,) just to see her this insecure, running after him saying, I love you so much and Choti. Will be worthy for me to watch.😂😂

I said few post back, I watched it happen here on USA day time tv soap, 18 years back, something similar. The mistress, becoming the wife, having a baby, but still couldn’t let go and live her happy life.

It was hilarious watching her spying, screaming, I love you, telling the kid, I love your dad and you, trying to cook like the ex-wife, breaking and entering to shredding her husband’s ex wife’s cloths. 🤣

All the ex-wife had to do was just live and try to move on. She was a mess.🤣

I want Anu to go through something similar. She is on cloud 9 thinking she is all that. I need her down few clouds.😂😂😂

karma can be great for her.😂😂 It will bring the ratings up.😂

It would be great if this happens. I feel Anupamaa has got everything in a platter. I mean even after being a mother of 3 children she got a rich man in her life. And, then they adopted a child too .So, therefore she's taking him and Choti Anu for granted. She doesn't know his value. When Vanraj took her for granted, mocked at her it did pinch her. But, still she can't understand Anuj and his love and respect for her. She's treating him the same way Vanraj did with her.

Originally posted by: Fats24

It would be great if this happens. I feel Anupamaa has got everything in a platter. I mean even after being a mother of 3 children she got a rich man in her life. And, then they adopted a child too .So, therefore she's taking him and Choti Anu for granted. She doesn't know his value. When Vanraj took her for granted, mocked at her it did pinch her. But, still she can't understand Anuj and his love and respect for her. She's treating him the same way Vanraj did with her.

I agree! The adoption hasn’t happened yet. Since they are fostering Ca, it will be even better drama if after all her questions about who is the father, Maya says your husband is the father😂. That is what I want blurted out by Maya. The look on both Anuj/Anu’s face s will be priceless.🤣 Especially if she explained how this came to be.
I have been saying making him the bio father is much better drama. Keep Maya in their life perm.😂😂